Kiku knew their differences. He could see them so clearly like they were fresh water streaming down a river, like they were the blue sky on a cloudless day, or like it were the shine and clarity resulted from a freshly wiped window. He understood them like they were simple one digit numbers, or simple three lettered words, or colors he was so familiar with. He respected them too, as he did to everyone. He couldn't change these differences. These differences were like people and were meant to be treated that way. Trying to change someone when they were so content with the way they were was rude, and Kiku was a polite and kind man. He wished not to intrude or interrupt; it wasn't in his nature. But that wasn't the only reason why he didn't do anything to change them. He loved those differences. He embraced and kissed those differences with such a soft touch. Those differences made his heart flutter and beat rapidly. Those differences were what made the relationship between him and Herakles a special one; a relationship that couldn't be categorized as anything but theirs.
Herakles was a handsome and good looking man, compared to his simple self. Kiku would even be so bold as to say he was gorgeous. His unruly auburn hair curled and caressed his soft cheeks and brought the oceanic life within his teal eyes alive. His sleepy, thoughtful gaze was always there no matter the emotion he experienced. His body was toned in smooth muscles, blanketed by sun kissed skin. His hands were calloused and worked to the feel of leather from gripping a shovel for so long, but despite the rough feeling, they were gentle and always warm when held. Every detail that was painted on this canvas titled 'Herakles' was perfect, maybe even beyond perfect, in Kiku's eyes. Perhaps he overthought these things too much. Maybe to others he was a simple Grecian who looked tired all the time and had too many cats. Maybe he was just a regular looking person. But to Kiku, he was a work of art. He wondered how someone so ordinary like him, with his straight-cut black hair and solid brown eyes, could be with such a beautiful and sculpture like man.
However, while Herakles was perfect and flawless on the outside, there were of course his flaws that lived within the depths of his inside. There were a few obvious ones that everyone knew of, there were secret ones that Kiku was only allowed to know of, there were even a few that Herakles wasn't aware of himself. Kiku was a watchful and listening person at heart; a very studious man. He studied Herakles like a book and forced himself to remember these things, constantly reminding himself to avoid doing certain things because they could evoke bad results. One, for example, was that Herakles wasn't a "clean" man. Kiku knew Herakles had done drugs in his younger, adolescent days. He knew that at one point in his life, Herakles worked solely to get money and to use that money to buy his fix and to get that fix into him. He treasured them like they were priceless jewels and did everything he could to get his hands on them, just so he could feel their effects. Herakles had once explained to him in such vivid detail about how those drugs made him feel.
"They take you somewhere." he said softly and carefully. "They take you to a time when the Earth was beautiful and young…mixtures of green and blue all around…and the water is pure and crystal…and the animals are free, yet tame…and the air…it feels…and tastes, and smells, and sounds so sweet…it warms your chest…it imitates love…and it makes you feel like a person that other people care about…it makes you feel like someone with a purpose…it takes away the modern world's ugliness and only shows the good…this simple ounce…or syringe full…or pill substance gives you so many loving thoughts…" He said with a slight smile. He had paused, thinking and most likely reminiscing to himself. And then he had frowned and sighed quietly. "But everyone knows…something so wonderful doesn't come free…there's always a price to pay afterwards…because life is just one big business…those thoughts make a sudden exit…and they beat you up inside as they leave…like you're nothing but trash…like you're nothing at all…and the only thing they leave behind is a friend they call addiction…and addiction is an annoying, brutal bastard…he keeps reminding you that you could have those wonderful thoughts come back for another visit…and he's so persuasive…a sleazy salesmen…he always wins." Herakles finished. Kiku only nodded and took note, not wanting to pursue any further.
That was the sort of thing he tried to stay away from, because he knew it would resurface painful feelings; because he knew that Herakles was still raw from what happened long ago, that even the mention of it could invite a certain thought into his thoughtful mind. A thought that went along the lines of 'I wouldn't mind going back'; and Kiku didn't want Herakles to ever think that.
There were, however, certain things he couldn't prevent from happening. Like the times when they were apart; what Herakles did by himself was his own business, but Kiku knew what he did. Rumors were his proof, and he felt ashamed to say so, but everyone knew Herakles was one that loved and adored sex; he was a man, after all. Herakles of course thought nothing of it and didn't think of it as wrong, horrible, or raunchy. His philosophy was simple; if the urge ever arises, you have to satisfy it. And there was always a burning urge in him. Kiku couldn't lie and say he wasn't bothered by it because he honestly was, but it was Herakles' business, not his own. Herakles always sensed this, and did feel bad for the things he did, but it was something he had molded himself into; there was no way to change it. But there were things he could do to turn the horrible into tolerable. Herakles had once told Kiku, bluntly and unexpectedly, that he treated the ones he had sex with differently from the way he treated him. He brought up the "Worst Lovers" list, in hopes of getting a laugh, and of course he got just that. He explained how it was true he was lovey-dovey, and he had made a sour comment about how that could be seen as a bad quality in a lover, and that he only felt that way towards Kiku. He then enlightened Kiku on the difference of having sex and making love.
"It's pretty simple." He began as he sipped his coffee. "You have sex with people…the word 'sex' is a general term, just like the word 'people'…but you only make love with the one you truly love…making love is specific…as well as the one you truly love…the one I truly love is you…you're the only one that'll be kissed everywhere…hell, you're the only one that'll be kissed…you're the only one that'll be handled so gently and be respected and heard…you're the only one that hears me speak and moan during the mix of pleasure…and you'll always be the only one that gets cuddled afterwards and a nice back massage the next morning…" He finished with a smile. The conversation had brought a wave of relief and warmth to Kiku's chest. It even tugged the corners of his mouth into a smile.
Herakles may have had sex with others when they were apart, but Kiku wasn't bothered by it after he had heard what Herakles explained to him. He no longer felt worried about losing him to anyone or thought that he was just one of Herakles' toys. He had faith in him and it was that flaw that brought their love close and held it together. It may have sounded ridiculous and cliché, and maybe it was something found in a cheesy, poorly written romance novel, but it was something important in their relationship and made it seem more than any normal relationship.
And while some flaws were meant to be hidden and ignored, and some were staples that held them together, it was personality differences that brought them closer. How Kiku was a shy, conservative person and Herakles was an all-out and blunt man. Shame seen by Kiku wasn't shame at all to Herakles. Like how kissing and holding hands out in public was a shameful and horrible thing to do. Kiku was raised to not be so outspoken and visibly emotional in the eyes of strangers; they were strangers after all. But Herakles was the opposite; such things like that were encouraged when he was growing up. And that was a hard habit to break, of course. Herakles couldn't help but take Kiku's hand as they walked down a bustling street or lean in for a quick peck of the lips or cheek in the middle of a store. It bothered Kiku and made him flustered, naturally, but deep down inside a part of him didn't care; it actually wanted and hoped for more. But that was just the specifics; some of their personalities were simple and went hand in hand. Like how the other was stubborn and the other was persuasive, or how one was a vivid talker and the other was a dedicated listener, or even how one had a love of porn and the other had a weakness to buy it.
Their relationship was full of differences, whether it be their origin of roots, or flaws, or personalities, or even the language and distance barrier, but it all worked and fit together snuggly. Kiku knew these differences and he wondered if Herakles knew them as well, because he was sure it was these things that made their love unique and a love only shared between them.
Kiku shook his head slowly, smiling and chuckling quietly as he did. Herakles looked at him with curiosity pooling in his eyes.
"What's so funny…?"
Their bodies were warm and hidden underneath a thin film of sweat; it glistened as moonlight poured in from the window onto their skin, turning everything into shades of luminous blue. On the nightstand the digital clock read one in the morning, a small bottle of lubrication and box of tissues sat next to it; those two items already have been used. The sheets were damp and wrinkled and smelt musky from a not-so-long-ago session of passion. Herakles sat up slightly, his back leaning against the headboard of the bed, with his arm wrapped snuggly around Kiku's shoulder. Kiku still felt the slight ache and throbbing in his lower back, but it was easy to ignore and he didn't mind it any more. His smile grew more and he snuggled himself closer to Herakles' side, sighing contently.
"Nothing; I just love you so much."