''You never really know when adulthood is going to come and hit you in the face, until it actually does. I guess I though by the day of the Choosing Ceremony, I'd know exactly where I belong. Where I want to be... Seems like no, I still don't. The test is said to never be wrong, but what if it was wrong ? What if, I can't make it ? I know how they are over there, even if you get to be a recruit, you won't last long in there. I never really though I would be so afraid of change. Statistically speaking, if the test said so, that means that I fit at least 90% the profile for said faction. But what if... What if it miscalculated. Yes I've never felt home in Erudite, but what if I don't fit anywhere ? What if... I'm a factionless ?''
I shake my head to get that though out of my brain. ''What is wrong with me ?'' I let out a sight, close my computer and lean back in my bed. ''I'll trust the test, that is the most logical and the most rational thing to do'' Gah, still thinking as a Erudite... So boring. So technical, and always so precise. Why do we need to analyse everything ? Can't we just do ? And figure it out as it comes ? On that though, I close my eyes and fall asleep.
''Damn Choosing Ceremony'' I mutter. ''Mom ?'' I yell through the house ''Why do I have to do this ?''
''Well, because it's what everybody needs to do.'' She comes up in my room and leans against the door frame. ''Darling... Don't worry. Do as the test said, and you'll be just fine. It's science.''
''Damn science ! I really hope there hasn't been a miscalculation there somewhere ! Otherwise I'll have to go see some Candor to sew my Test administrator''
''Come on Darling, the result wasn't that bad, was it ?'' She asks, without really expecting an answer
''I don't know, maybe'' I shrug ''Was yours what you chose at the ceremony ?''
''Yes, yes it was. But i was a transfer. I just listened to science'' She smiles kindly. I will miss my mom, she was always the reasonable one. I don't really know what i will do if i do choose the test result...
The auditorium was crowded. In front of each faction's section was a row of empty chairs, for the transfer recruits. I guess I'll have to sit there in a few minutes. I walked pass the Dauntless, the Amity and walked up the stairs with my mom. My cousin Ash waves from afar and motions for me and my mom to come sit next to him. He kept two seats free for us.
''So today's the big day Kye ?'' I smiled at my nickname. Me and my cousin were always pretty close, something rare for Erudite. Our faction is not big on public demonstration of affection. Never really understood why. But Ash was the only person that ever really understood the way I thought.
''Yeah, I guess'' I manage to whisper between my tense lips.
''Well, I know you'll make the right choice, and whatever you do, don't worry about your mom, she'll understand. Mine did !'' He laughed it off before standing up ''Anyway, I just came back to say hi, I have to go back to the recruits now. I'm on recruit training duty this year !'' Ash gave me one last smile, before walking down the stairs, his long black coat floating behind him.
I've missed him. One year now since he chose Dauntless, one whole year I hadn't seen him. That little talk was way too short. He was what, like 17 or 18 now ? Something like that. Dauntless fit him well. He was always the kind to run around, jump stuff and pick a fight, but me ? I am not that person. At least, I don't think I am. The test thought otherwise though. Ash was tall, with bright blue hair now, so I could follow him up in the crowd with no problem. He walked all the way to the other side of the auditorium and sat next to an even taller, very muscular blonde guy. Probably one of his friends. He's the kind who would get popular. I heard he was one of the best of his recruit group. I don't think I'll live up to that expectation, but who knows ?
Jeanine Matthews walked on stage, gave some kind of pep-talk about the importance of the factions in our society, and how we still have the right to chose different from what the test tells us. And... I pretty much didn't listen to the rest of it. Names started to be called, faces passed by, blood was poured, and the ceremony went on like a blur. I felt like I had been sitting for hours when i finally heard my name.
''Skylark WolflMount ''
That was it. I pressed my mom's hand in mine, whispered 'I love you' and silently prayed for the courage to walk up on that stage. Someone handed me the knife. The metal was cold but felt warm at the same time, and I almost didn't feel as it peeled open my palm flesh. The dark red blood contrasted heavily with my naturally pale skin, and for a minute, my eyes fluttered out of panic. I gazed at the burning coals, and at the calm water that started to turn to a faint red tone. What was I supposed to do? I clenched my fist, and poured a drop of blood. A huge clamor exploded in my back as I heard the blood crackle in the fire. I was handed a little band aid, then gave one last look to my mom with a faint smile and walked over to my new faction. A guy with a bright red Mohawk came to me and helped me down the stairs. I sat down quietly and waited for the end, not realizing what this meant.
Somewhere in the building, a bell rang, announcing the end of the ceremony. The Dauntless got up in a rush, and all started to run to the exit. The sudden burst of energy I experienced made me feel so alive. I broke free from the numbness and shouted out, running forward in my future.