Fade Away

Summary: Aizawa Shouta remembers his past life. This makes things difficult when dealing with dangerous situations or particularly stubborn students like Izuku Midoriya.

It's a pity then that Izuku and dangerous situations go hand-in-hand.

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Aizawa Shouta is perhaps one of the most lackluster teachers ever seen within the walls of UA. At least, that's what the students think.

The faculty know otherwise. They know he's dedicated, that he works as hard as any of them to ensure the next generation of heroes turns out right. And if anyone ever had doubts about his dedication, they stopped when he expelled an entire class who refused to grow the hell up and become proper heroes, instead of their daydream fantasies where everything was handed to them once they made it into UA.

Shouta has no time for kids like that. He has no time for anyone who is so willing to simply give up and believes they are destined to receive a reward for laziness. It's a trait that has followed him through from his old life - one he loathed as a child, but now enjoys as an adult. Because it means nobody can question his decisions.

But it is also this trait that allows him to see the dangers of pushing one's body too far in their quest to be better. Izuku Midoriya is a fine example of this. The boy isn't lazy; if anything, he's just as driven, if not more so, than his classmates, owing to All Might's decision to pass his Quirk onto the boy. Midoriya has had One for All for less than a year, and yet makes grand strides every time Shouta looks at him. It's a good trait, but also a failing, because the boy doesn't know when to stop. When to let his limits hinder him. Limits aren't always bad - they're a reminder that they are all only human, no matter what the egotistical ones would have them believe.

Izuku will need a firm hand, and Shouta is prepared to be that hand. He will be the leash, the collar, and the whole damn jockey if that's what it takes to keep the boy from killing himself before he's truly ready to stand on his own. Because as it is now, the boy's going to need that much just to survive to second year.

He stands in front of Izuku now, bed bound once more. They've rescued Eri successfully - though not without cost. Izuku has pushed himself too far once more, and Sir is recovering from some minor poisoning. Fatgum, Tamaki and Kirishima are in the ICU - Fatgum is there for moral support, and because he's become fiercely territorial over his fledglings since the last time Shouta saw him. If Kirishima's appearance is anything to go by, Shouta can understand why. The boy's skin is missing - that speaks of nothing but sacrifice. Fatgum respects sacrifice, respects bravery.

Shouta is much the same, just in smaller, more sane doses.

"Did you think throwing yourself into the thick of it would help?" he asks now, keeping his voice soft and toneless. The same as back then, when he killed instead of saved. He can't help it. Izuku brings out the worst in him.

But he won't bring down the hammer. Not yet. Not until he's certain he has all of Izuku Midoriya's patterns, habits and plans laid out before him. And he's prepared to be as patient as it takes to get all that intel. All Might can talk about softness and understanding all he wants, but Shouta knows the type of person Izuku Midoriya is, and he knows that the only thing stopping the boy from hanging himself with his rush to get better will be a firm hand and plenty of stark reminders that he is not immortal, and you can't speed through quality.

"They were aiming for Eri-chan! What was I-"

"If you say 'what was I supposed to do', then you weren't paying attention." Izuku's mouth clamps shut, and he directs his gaze downwards to stare rebelliously at his hands. Scarred, knotted like the hands of an old man. "There is more than one way to skin a cat, Midoriya. And more than one way to ensure the protection of the squad without giving up your own safety."

Maintain your position!

Even now, he can taste the words on the back of his tongue. They'd seared into his mouth like fire as he'd watched, too far back to give orders, as Izuku dove into the fray like a mad man. He'd been carrying Sir at the time, but if he'd had free hands-

Disobedient whelp! How many times must you learn this lesson before it sinks it? Should I take one of the Overseer's brands and carve the message into your arm so it stays? No matter what happens, when I tell you to stay down, you stay down! I'm not offering you a suggestion, I'm giving you an order! Is that understood?

He pulls in a lungful of air. He can smell brine, hagfish guts, and rotting wood. He is Aizawa Shouta, who lives in Musutafu. School teacher, Pro Hero.

"I gave you the order to remain back," he says, and it comes out evenly. Good. He hasn't lost his grip yet. "Do you think yourself so magnificent that you're above an order from your superior?"

Izuku flinches. "I-I just..."

"No excuses, boy."

You're slipping.

Damn it all, this boy. He's just like her. So fucking headstrong and stubborn.

Izuku clams up. He's biting his lower lip now, eyes suspiciously bright. "I couldn't watch it happen again," he whispers at last. "I-I couldn't... sit there and watch Overhaul drag her back, after all we'd done to try to s-s-save her in the first place."

"And so you placed her safety above my order?" Aizawa asks softly.

For a second, Izuku wilts in shame. And then his shoulders lift, his chin rises, and he's staring back, defiant. "Yes sir, I did. I'll take any punishment you give, but I'm not going to apologize for intervening."

"Not even if I tell you that we had it well in hand? Even if I tell you that I had a plan in place for just such an event?"

Izuku's expression shifts. The defiance falls back in favor of disbelief. "How-"

He pulls the notes he's kept close for just such an occasion out of his pocket, and offers them over. "Read. Then tell me that you thought your plan was a good idea."

Izuku unfolds, and begins to read. There's silence. Aizawa looks out the window, blinded by the evening sun, and for a second he's seeing Dunwall again. It's a brief respite, to be watching the sunset there instead of here.

Then it's gone, and the paper is shaking in Izuku's hands, and Izuku himself is white as a sheet. "You...you predicted it all. Right down to my moves."

It's not difficult, when you're surrounded by people who don't know how to put on a good mask.

"Yes. So tell me, Midoriya, can you still claim your idea was a good one? That diving between Eri and Overhaul in a desperate bid to save her from the nightmare when there was already a plan in action, was the right way to go?"

There's no hesitation this time. Just shame.

"No, sir."

At last.

"Good. You're learning." He crouches down to Midoriya's level just as he did before. "I told you at the beginning of this that you're still working to earn my trust back after you and Bakugou pulled all the stunts you did, not to mention you and your little team rushing into the fight after we told you to stay put. As of now, you've managed to undo the trust I had gained for you over the majority of this mission."

Izuku flinches. His hands are clenched together, and his knuckles are beginning to turn white from the strain. Shouta reaches over and taps them to get him to relax.

"That doesn't mean you won't ever get where you were. But as of now, its going to take some honest pushing before I'm confident enough in your ability to survive without rashly making decisions. Between your choice to inflict damage on your body that could have been avoided, and your decision to rush headlong into danger because you think of other people first and not the entire situation, you're asking to be cut down before you're truly able to spread your wings and fly.

"I'm aware that All Might expects you to be the perfect successor. And I know Sir Nighteye has some qualms about your qualifications, and feels All Might could have chosen better. But their opinions don't factor into this. You've been focused on the minute drama around you for long enough, I think."

"What... am I supposed to do, then?" Izuku asks, once Shouta has finished speaking.

"You take steps back. Remove yourself and settle down to think about your wants versus your needs. You need to work on not injuring yourself to the point where you're useless in a fight. You need to work on not letting the opinions of others affect you to such a degree that it's all you focus on. You need to earn my trust back. Tell me, Midoriya, what else do you need?"

"Isn't that kind of counter-intuitive?" Izuku asks. "Um, the whole 'not letting the opinions of others affect you' and 'earning your trust'? I mean, if you think about it, I'm letting my desire to earn your trust affect my judgment. So wouldn't you logically fall under the same category as the others?"

Shouta smiles. "Good. You are paying attention. Normally I'd say yes. But from what I've seen, nobody is willing to be your anchor in this madness. And until I'm certain you can stand on your own and not end up dead in a ditch by day's end, I'll put up every wall necessary to keep you caged. That is why you need to earn my trust. Prove to me that you have what it takes to be that hero you want so very badly to be, and I'll open the gates and let you go. But until then, my opinion of you very much matters."

Izuku whines softly, reaching up to scrub at his face in frustration. "It feels like my head's all cluttered up. I wish I had a valve to just... shut it all off." His hands drop. "I don't know what I need. I've just... kind of been going by what others tell me I need."

"And that is exactly what we're working on." He stands, his knees popping as he does. Damn, he's getting too old for this. "I'll be back tomorrow morning. Think over what I said in the meantime. Your homework is to think of at least three more things you need. And before you say 'I don't need that many' or 'I don't have that many' - I know of at least ten. And yet I am not you. I'm a peripheral adult in your life. But if I can think of that many, then you can think of them too. Work on it."

He leaves feeling a queer sense of deja-vu. He'd had a similar talk to another young sprout a long, long time ago, when his life had revolved around a place called Dunwall, and he and his team had been the nightmare so many had sought to avoid. Even now, he can feel echoes of that place around him, hear the creaking floorboards of his old haunt, smell the rot and decay and death as he wanders.

He tells himself he won't let Izuku become what Billie was - they're in a different league. He won't make the mistakes of the past again.

But at the same time, he recalls the burning defiance in those eyes, when the boy had wholeheartedly believed he was doing the right thing. It was the kind of defiance that simple words wouldn't be enough to cut down, that only action and proof could snuff out. How many more times would Shouta have to provide both of those things in Izuku's life before the boy's defiance became something softer, something more cautious?

It doesn't bode well for his sanity, that much is certain. But at least he won't have to listen to the Black-Eyed Bastard prattle his ear off the entire time he's doing it.