Sanzo follows Goku's darting figure as he springs out of the jeep to avoid getting shot while going to buy the requested snacks. Sanzo continues shooting as he sees Goku entering the first food stand and Goyjo screams calling him twisted bastard. Once Goku is out of sight he faces the front of the jeep and shoots two more rounds as he dares Goyjo or Hakkai to mess with him.

"Tsz!"

"Did you say something Sanzo?" a very amused Hakkai asks knowing well that Sanzo cannot get so easy out of the hole he has dig up for himself.

Goyjo just settles down comfortably to enjoy his cigarette while they wait for Goku to come back with the snacks that Sanzo has asked for, "On second thought, let me go and help the monkey buy the snacks because I am sure the fucking bastard is just going to bring Sanzo's favorites and what about you and me Hakkai. Hell if I am going to eat those damn kelp pickles or frozen stuff this fucking twisted monk likes so much." And without any ceremony Goyjo jumps out of the jeep to catch Goku at the food stand.

"I'll go with you Goyjo because I am sure between you and Goku will manage to buy everything in the store." Hakkai begins to get out of the jeep and turning to look at Sanzo adds, "Are you coming Sanzo?"

"Tsz" Sanzo hisses without bothering to look at Hakkai or Goyjo.

Walking away Hakkai adds, "I take that as a no."

Delicious silence follows the last eco of his bangs. Sighing Sanzo closes his eyes to figure out how to get out of the fucking mess he is in right now. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he takes a long breath grabbing his cigarettes box and flipping it open. He knew the rain was bad news. Hell rain never brought anything good to Sanzo's life, first the murder of his master and now this.

"Stupid, monkey!" he exhales as the words come out without effort force of habit he figures.

It had been raining for the past few days, raining is putting it mildly it had been down poring and then Goku had to go and … Sanzo shakes his head to disperse the images flooding his mind. He lights his cigarette and the flame flickers reminding him of Goku's concern golden-eyes searching his impassive face. Goku's bronzed-tan hand probes for a fever or any other signs of Sanzo's illness lingering in his forehead a second too long for Sanzo's comfort, and what did he do? He slaps Goku's hand away. Realizing the hurt he caused on Goku's eyes, Sanzo adds, "I am not sick."1

It should have stopped Goku from pushing further but like the persistent little monkey he is, he pushes his luck. All Sanzo wants is to be left alone with his own thoughts, so he adds," It got nothing to do with you."2

It seems that Goku knows him better than he thinks because the little bastard continues, "Yes, it does." 3

That is the last drop that spills the water; he hates the rain. Sanzo feels exposed too many feelings coming to him at once his master's murder plaguing his dreams, the hag's ominous destiny crap, and to top it all hormones going hare wire. He is twenty three for God's sake; before he could hit puberty, he had to deal with the whole revenge thing so no time to think of hormones, and now he has been cooked-up way too long with these idiots and Goku's constant touching. No one else is allowed to touch him so much as Goku does. Well to be truthful not even Goku is allowed to invade his personal space; however, the little bastard never asked his permission.

Sanzo hates feeling vulnerable, so he uses meanest as a mechanical defense; verbal abuse is his primary weapon followed by physical abuse of those who threatens him. No wonder he reacts by yelling at him, "Get out!"4 Followed by the kicking of the table instead of slapping Goku some more, Goku does not get the hint. Sanzo then delivers the last blow by asking, "Why are you here?"5

It seems that Goku takes it to heart; he runs out of the room in tears. Sanzo will be damned if he cares, he has more pressing things to worry about like his own thoughts and feelings and desires. Desires, Sanzo could not bring himself to admit that he relishes every second Goku touches him. Goku's careful ministers feel damn good. The roughed small hand against his silky alabaster skin, Goku's hand is no longer one of a child but of a young man. He barely reaches Sanzo's shoulders, but Sanzo knows that eighteen is the time when those late bloomers are known to sprout overnight and Goku seems destined to be the taller of the two.

Hell, Goku will become one of those muscular farmer types. He was after all born from a rock, so he would be all firm tanned muscles and taller, cooper-brown hair and sweet-golden eye while Sanzo will forever remain a little effeminate, slender with golden-blond hair, Amethyst-violet eyes and silky alabaster skin. He has never labor hard in his life not even at the temple, Sanzo was always assigned the less strenuous chores sweeping, washing, etc., so his hands were soft and delicate. Even now with all the killing and stuff, Sanzo uses a pistol and chants sutras to defeat his enemies barely any effort there. He is not weak by any means, but he is not strong, physically strong. Mentally, he could hold his own with any of the idiots around him; however, he is painfully aware of his physical shortcomings, a pretty boy. Goku on the other hand is physically strong, muscular and well toned, a promising masculine man on the making.

Then Hakkai and Goyjo interrupt his reverie telling him that Homura kidnapped Goku. Homura, the prince of war, if the old hag is right, he knows she is, but for spite, he would not acknowledge it, will be the best mentor for Goku. So instead of getting all pumped up on the let's go and rescue Goku like Goyjo is, he just tells Hakkai,"Let it be!"6

However, the idiots keep pushing, so he just adds, "I see no reason for getting him back."7

Hakkai says something speaking holy than shit stuff like is his custom, the fucking bastard always admonishing. Hakkai had no idea what he is going through. Hell no one knows anything about him and Goku. Sanzo is left alone again with his own thoughts and then he is out of cigarettes. Shit! If he allows Kanzeon Bosatsu to have the last word, "Merciful Goddess my ass," Goku is his and fuck the destiny crap.

So he goes to look for the idiots and finds them fighting Homura and his boys and from there everything goes downhill. He hears himself saying, "I couldn't sleep,"8 like if it is anyone business to know why he is here, and then the fucking Homura's sarcastic sing-song remark, "Lonely without your Goku, eh!"9

Then Sanzo sees Goku perched on the fucking tree like an idiot monkey, so he could not helped but to spat, "an idle spectator, what a nuisance."10 Goku then drops like a fucking peach ready to be eaten or left on the ground to rotten, so Sanzo rather walks away than eat the fucking delicious, mouth-watering peach. Then the kid grows some balls, what timing, and begins to scream,"Come back here! Sanzo! You're the mean one. You don't care about me at all. What is wrong if I worry about you every once in awhile. If I knew it was going to be like this when I got out, I would've asked you to leave me there?"11

A sharp pain cuts across Sanzo's chest like a knife reaching his tender heart, he has to stop. Goku's words ringing in his ears like the fucking rain, droplets hitting, drilling incessantly in his mind, "If I knew it was going to be like this when I got out, I would've asked you to leave me there?"12

Sanzo turns around and slowly walks towards Goku who flinches like expecting Sanzo's usual meanest. However, Sanzo only places his hand on Goku's head, and asks Homura, "What the heck have you done to Goku?"13 Homura says something about Sanzo being Goku's sun. Who the fuck wants to be someone's sun? Or God for that matter? Fuck the Merciful Goddess and her ominous destiny crap. He certainly was no one's God and Goku was no … fuck. Sanzo has to take charge and damn be the Heaven's so he just tells Goku,"I am in a bad mood because of the rain the rest you have to figure it out by yourself."14

Sanzo turns around and walks away hoping against hope that Goku will wise up and realized that Sanzo is just a horny bastard. Sanzo thinks that maybe Goku needs one more clue, so he adds,"I never wanted you to be a servant"15 There, he has done it. Goku has enough information to figure out that Sanzo just wants to jump his bones.

"Sanzo! Here, I just open up the can for you." Sanzo's nostril is assaulted by the sweet and buttery-bread scent of the kelp pickles.

Sanzo's eyelids fly open while the last remains of his cigarette scatters on his robes, "Stupid monkey!"

"I'm sorry Sanzo. I didn't mean to hit you on the face."

"Now, now Sanzo don't be mad. Goku is just eager to give you your pickles since you were so desperately to get them. Remember, you discharged your gun so Goku will move faster." Hakkai adds while he and Goyjo get inside the jeep dropping the groceries bag on the back seat.

Goku sits behind Sanzo eating a meat bun. Sanzo grabs the can as Hakkai begins to drive forward towards their destination and brushes away any remains of spilled ashes or pickle vinegar on his robes. The ride continues in silence for a few minutes since Goku is too busy eating his meat bun and Goyjo drinks some beer.

"Aren't you going to eat your pickles Sanzo?" Goku shouts too closed to Sanzo's nape.

Sanzo jumps out of his wits at the unexpected shout, but Sanzo is grateful that at the same time the road had turned bumpy so no one actually suspects that Goku had just brought him back from enjoying some private memories.

"Here! You eat them stupid monkey!" Sanzo shoves the can into Goku's stomach without even turning to face him.

Goku only smiles and grabs the offered food, "Thanks, Sanzo! I was about to say that I'm still hungry the meat bun was good, but it was only one."

"You ate five, glutton moron, before we even reach the jeep." Goyjo adds while opening his third beer. Hakkai only laughs a little.

"Shut-up! I had enough of." Sanzo hits both Goyjo and Goku with his paper fan and finishes, "not another word, I have a fucking headache. One more outburst, I kill both of you."

"Sanzo" Goku whispers on his ear.

"What?" Sanzo stiffens with Goku's proximity that is a first Goku whispering and it does not help with the increasing bulge under Sanzo's robes due to the private memories that Goku and Goyjo manage to destroy.

"Is there anything I can do to help you? Or maybe Hakkai can do something with his 'Chi' healing thing." Sanzo could not think straight with Goku's whispering and his hot breath caressing his ears. The sweet-buttery scent of the pickles that obviously Goku is shoving down his throat invading his senses while some juice tickles his neck as it falls down.

"Why are you whispering?" Sanzo snaps, of all the times for Goku to be whispering and eating kelp pickles that is torture.

"You moron, you just said you have a headache and that you kill us if we don't shut-up." Goyjo feels it is his duty to interpret the monkey's need to whisper.

"Yeah, what Goyjo said!"

"No! It's just a headache if you both managed to keep silent for at least half hour I'll be alright."

"Oh! Okay, I'll do that." Goku sighs as he slumps into his seat.

"Fine by me, I'm exhausted with the rescuing Goku from Homura's clutches and the fucking rain, and…" Goyjo stops his ranting as he eyes the passive Hakkai.

Goyjo had a rough night lying awake listening to Hakkai's erratic breathing and twitching. Hakkai's nightmares hunt him especially on rainy days so Goyjo trails off, "the night I had yesterday."

Hakkai eyes Goyjo through the rear mirror. He knows how anxious Goyjo gets every time he has his nightmares and how the red-head half-breed could not sleep just watching over him probably remembering the day he picked him up laying half dead on the side of the road while the rain fall over him and the mud covered him all over. A silence falls over the group as each one gets lost in their thoughts. The road extends before them with miles and miles of rough, bare-rocky terrain.

Sanzo continues with his reverie. After he tells Goku that he never intended for him to be his servant, he walks back to the inn. The rain had stopped and Goku trails behind him in silence uncommon for the damn bastard but whatever the silence suit Sanzo's needs. Once they arrive at the inn more bad news awaits him. Some of the rooms had been flooded or the ceiling had cave in due to the rains forcing the innkeeper to ask most guests to double. Hakkai begins the arrangements to double with Sanzo as it is their custom on rainy days and no single rooms available. Goku stands on the hallway while Hakkai goes to bring his stuff, all packed looking at Sanzo with pleading eyes to room with him. Goku even promises to be silent and not to move a muscle if Sanzo just allows him to sleep tonight with him in the same room. Sanzo has no reason to deny him his request after all Goku had proven that he could be quiet during their silent walk.

When Sanzo tells Hakkai that he should room with Goyjo instead, Hakkai only smiles and without another word turns towards Goyjo's room. Sanzo then enters his room and sees Goku finishing placing some blankets on the floor next to the bed and falling on his stomach clutching the pillow. He smirks and takes the Maten scriptures off his shoulders placing them on the night stand. Then removing the top part of his robes, he drops them to hang carelessly midriff on his waist. Standing in front of the large window, Sanzo just gives a quick glance towards where Goku lays and lights a cigarette. Goku does not stir or makes a sound. So he thinks the kid must be fast asleep; he finishes the cigarette while Goku's hurting words echoes in his mind, "If I knew it was going to be like this when I got out, I would've asked you to leave me there"16

Sanzo decides to call it a night and goes to sleep as soon as his head touches the pillow, the rain starts again. He sighs and shuts his eyes hoping to sleep through without the nightmares, or Goku's voice echoing. It is odd, the monkey is not snoring. Sanzo knows Goku snores loud one of the many reasons he prefers to room with Hakkai rather than his noisy companion. Today sure is turning to be a strange day. Rain is never good news for Sanzo. It had been just a couple of minutes or maybe longer drowsiness had taken hold of Sanzo when he feels Goku kneeling before him placing his arms over the bed as he rests his head on them. Sanzo is not able to see all of this because he is facing the wall but he can feel Goku's movements. Goku is just there staring at him probably in a contemplative mood; arms folded resting on the bed and his head just on top of them. Sanzo is too tired to say anything or do anything after all the monkey is not disturbing him. He had kept his part of the bargain to be silent; he had said too he would not move a muscle but that is just plain stupid. He needs to move he is alive for God's sake not death.

Sanzo's limbs are heavy like lead sleep just tantalizing him no nightmares yet, the moment Goku has move his echoing voice had stopped drilling in his head as well as the dripping rain. Sanzo knows it is still raining but the sound has disappeared from his head as well as Goku's voice and hurting words. It is silent at last sweet, beautiful silence. The awareness of Goku's staring latent on his nape. Finally Goku begins to move again his fingers advancing towards the back of Sanzo with unsure and fearful movements. Sanzo feels the new stirrings but he does not sense any danger emanating from Goku so he just lets it be. Goku's fingers finally reach Sanzo's strands of hair and let them rest there. After a few minutes he grows bold and begins to caress Sanzo's hair. Sanzo only stirs but he does nothing to stop Goku playfulness. He is too tired and the silence so inviting and sleep almost within his grasp no nightmares as of yet.

Goku's playfulness continue growing on confidence fingers twisting, combing, caressing with soft and firm movements then Sanzo feels Goku moving forward almost dipping the bed with his weight but it is only to bring his face closer to Sanzo's hair. Sanzo feels his body stiffing for a moment then relaxing again into his slumbering drowsiness. Goku smells no, he sniffs his hair just like the damn monkey he is.

Then Sanzo's eyes fly open, "You chew, I kill you"

Goku is thrown aback by Sanzo's sudden movement and snappy statement landing on his ass on top of the pillow laying on the floor, "Sanzo, you're awake!"

"Tsz!" Sanzo hisses adding, "What do you think, you are doing?"

"Touching your hair" Goku replies now kneeling again besides the bed.

Sanzo turns around shooting daggers at Goku with his Amethyst-violet eyes; he does not felt like getting up he is still tired all his muscles in the brink of snapping into thousands of shards for all the tension engulfing Sanzo's body.

"You want me to kick your ass all the way to Goyjo's room"

"I wasn't making any noise. I was silent until you spoke."

"Well stopped whatever you're doing is annoying" at this Sanzo turns back to face the wall.

"Sanzo!"

"Go to sleep!"

"You asked me, why I was here?"

Sanzo now is fully awake with every cell of his body on the brink of snapping, maybe exploding into tiny little pieces. It sure is a strange day; no it has to be the rain always the stupid rain. "I already told you I was angry. Now go to sleep. We're leaving early tomorrow."

However, Goku still kneeling besides the bed goes back to the business of playing with Sanzo's hair, "Homura got me thinking."

Sanzo grits his teeth as his jaw tightens even further if that is possible.

"He told me that I cling to you because you validate me. And that's not true, I know who I am and all the things I am capable of. Hell, I know I'm capable of making a living for myself if need be. But"

"But, what?" Sanzo snaps since when has Goku become so coherent and self assured. Well if true be told, he had notice Goku's self assurance growing with each battle they fought. How he becomes more and more arrogant as he demonstrates his strength and fighting skills except of late with Homura and his companions meddling on their lives. Every time, they confront the Gods, Goku is just a little unsure but still he does his best to hide it and appears bold.

Goku clears his throat just like if something is stuck on the middle and adds, "But you are my sun. You're the reason I exist because without you this world has no life, no color. I know that you let me out of my prison to show me a world brighter than the sun but without the sun all the brightness of the world will be gone."

"Nonsense!"

"I know if you were to run me out of your life, if you decided that I'm a nuisance you're no longer willing to put up with, I can survive on my own but the world will lose its flavor, its color all the brightness, I will be living without being alive because you are my reason to live. So, I'm here because without you my world will be dull, devoid of color or life just like when I was back on my rock prison."

Sanzo feels a pang something clawing his insides. Goku knows the difference between someone validating your life and someone giving you a reason to live for. He is well aware about that too. His master had been his reason to live to accept the ugliness of the world, the hypocrisy of the monks at the temple and when he was murder those Yukais murderer him too. He knows about living like an empty shell to. He set out to take revenge on those who murderer his master and to recover the Seiten Scriptures, but he is only going through the motions of living from some sense of duty to his beloved mentor. And now Goku confirms a similar relationship between the two of them; although, Sanzo is sure that his master did not harbor any sexual desires for him like he is experiencing for Goku. They did not have the Goddess of Mercy destiny crap bullshit attached to them.

"Sanzo!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry I almost chew on your hair but it smells so delicious just like roasted almonds, and it feels so silky and it's so shiny. I just wanted to see if it really tasted like almonds."

"Idiot! It smells like almonds because I used almond oil to keep it soft and shinny and I doubt it taste like them."

With a rapid movement, Goku sniffs Sanzo's entire body.

"What the heck? Now what are you doing stupid monkey?" Sanzo almost jumps out of bed with Goku's sudden and unexpected move.

"Why do you smell like sugar, almonds, and cigarettes?" Goku clasps Sanzo's right hand tight on his, holding it up to his nose.

Sanzo pulls his hand out Goku's clasp to retrieve his cigarettes from under his robe. He lights up his cigarette then moves to sit at the windowsill as he watches the rain pouring down. Goku stands still waiting for the ever present paper fan or at least the pistol to make its menacing appearance. Once he sees Sanzo settling on the windowsill, he relaxes and moves to stand behind Sanzo's placing his forehead on the back of Sanzo's head while his arms rest on Sanzo's shoulders.

Sanzo takes a long drag from his cigarette then adds, "I smell like cigarettes because my robes are already impregnated with the scent since I smoke like a chimney no matter how much amount of other nice scents Hakkai tries to smother my clothes with. The sugar and almond scent is because again I smother myself with a concoction of sweet almonds oil and sugar to keep my skin supple."

Goku moves away from Sanzo and begins to scratch his head as he says, "Su, what?"

Sanzo smirks and continues, "Supple, however that it is not the correct word. I used it because I like it. Do not give yourself an aneurism Goku? It helps keep my skin soft and moisture besides I like to smell good too."

Goku now smiles wide and goes to sit in front of Sanzo as he continues, "Sanzo, could you show me how to use it too, so I can smell nice like you."

Sanzo eyes widen as he looks at Goku, hell will freeze over before he allows Goku to change his natural scent. He loves the musky earthly scent that emanates from Goku like that of vetiver oil. No like he had been sniffing Goku the way the stupid monkey had done to him but whenever Goku brushes pass him or the air stirs the vetiver scent engulfs Sanzo's nostrils. At first, he thought it was because Goku had been imprison on that mountain for so long he smelled like that but then the damped earthly scent was replace by the musky or sweet-woody earthly scent of vetiver. Sanzo later finds out that according to Goku's moods it is the pungent musky earthly scent or the sweet-woody earthly scent.

"No"

"Why not? I want to smell good too, just like you or Hakkai or even Goyjo."

"Certainly not, especially not Goyjo's"

"But, Sanzo!"

"Enough with your nonsense, I am tired and I want to sleep." Sanzo stands up and goes to take his place on the bed.

Goku follows him and climbs onto the bed when Sanzo speaks, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Going to sleep, the bed is big enough for the two of us besides the floor is too hard, cold, and water is coming in from that leaking ceiling."

Goku does point out to Sanzo the leaking ceiling; however, Sanzo never turns around to confirm just moves forward towards the wall. He will be damned if the monkey would throw him out of the bed if someone shall fall it would be Goku not him. At this Goku worms himself into Sanzo's side and begins to play with his hair while falling asleep. Sanzo only closes his eyes realizing one thing the rain is no longer a pounding, drilling, dripping sound in his head but just a background noise. He enjoys the calming effect Goku's playfulness exudes and gives him; it is like a long forgotten lullaby not like anyone had ever sang a lullaby to him but he had seen it done to other children during stormy nights, or after waking up from a nightmare.

Sanzo sleeps soundless for the first time since he can remember especially during a rainy night. No nightmares appeared on his dreams, except Goku's well tone and tanned muscles. He is chopping wood outside the Temple's compound while Sanzo read his newspaper sitting down under the peaches tree. The air stirs bringing Goku's sweet-earthly scent to Sanzo's way while he pretends to be reading. He is just indulging on watching Goku's every move and then from time to time Goku would turned his way and smile wide looking at him adoringly with his Golden-Amber eyes.

Sanzo wakes up to an empty bed the blankets on the floor sat folded on the chair next to the coffee table. He then goes about his business to dress and to check out of the inn. When he goes outside and sees Goku's smiling face sitting already on the jeep, he sends the monkey to buy him kelp pickles and frozen mandarin-oranges.

"Hakkai! How long till we stop for lunch? I am hungry." Goku asks while leaning on the back seat of the jeep, he watches the world pass by with his head hanging upside down.

Sanzo snaps out of his memories once again but for a change Goku is bugging Hakkai.

"I say like an hour or two. It depends when we find a good shaded spot to rest."

Goku now straightens and leans forward to whisper on Sanzo's ear, "How is your headache Sanzo?"

"Yeah! Monk feeling better" Goyjo interjects finishing with, "quiet time is over."

"Shut the fuck up or I kill you"

"I take that as I yes" Hakkai adds smiling while shifting gears and continuing driving forward to the West.

Goku leans back smiling content he had decided to pay more attention and learn to pick his battles better. Yesterday Sanzo demonstrated that he wants him in his life after all Sanzo had come looking for him not once but twice now; first while he was imprison on that horrible mountain and yesterday when Homura kidnapped him for a couple of hours. Goku had been allowed to sleep next to the beautiful blond that smells like roasted almonds and looks like the sun. So, no matter how much Sanzo yells at him or springs that horrible paper fan or menacing vanishing gun, he knows Sanzo would not vanish him from his life and Goku would make sure he would not be that much of a nuisance to Sanzo. Later, he would convince Sanzo to show him how to smell nice like him maybe then he would be allowed to be his roommate always instead of Hakkai.

"Yeah!"

"What are you babbling about monkey?" Goyjo turns to ruffle Goku's hair.

"I am hungry!"

"You're always hungry; you sound like a broken record?" Goyjo makes a show of looking for something under Goku's underarms.

"Hey! Watch it, you pervert water sprite"

"Don't you have something else recorded on that brain of your besides I'm hungry, pervert water-sprite or cockroach."

"Yeah! Your breath smell like ass and your hair looks like shit, dull cockroach."

"You should talk stupid monkey. You smell like a sewer rat. And for your information the ladies like the way I smell. About my hair, you must know that it's the envy of many ladies. I have gorgeous hair unlike you stupid."

"Whatever, I don't think your lady friends are too thrilled with your cockroach's antennas"

"One more word out of either one and I kill you both"

"Wow! The monk has spoken"

"Hey! Leave Sanzo alone he has a headache"

"Now, now, I think we are approaching a good resting area."

TBC

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of Saiyuki which totally and unashamedly appear on this fan fiction. They are the product of Kazuya Minekura's wonderful imagination. However, the plot is totally my selfish desired to get some romantic thrills which are only alluded to or implied on her creative work.

Author's Notes: The following story is based on Saiyuki anime, English version of course, and has transcribed references. I insert endnotes to indicate the episode from which I borrowed the dialogued. I humbly hope Kazuya Minekura will forgive me for borrowing her inspiration while my intention is not to plagiarize her work I need some of the dialogue to construct a solid foundation for my love story starring of course our beautiful boys from Saiyuki. While this inner journey takes place during episode 39 Misty Rain, it started from the moment Sanzo extended his hand to help Goku escape his rock prison and will go beyond episode 50 Alone and will not touch whatsoever on Saiyuki Reload or Saiyuki Reload Gunlock. After episode 50, I will have a totally different story. I hope you like it.

Endnotes 1 through 16 Saiyuki, Ep. 39 Misty Rain