A/N: Merry late Christmas, . This story was actually an accident, and one I actually owe to a reader. While working on The Twin Blade my largest FE fic, I ended up developing a bunch of one-shots too. In the first one I ever wrote, a certain reviewer, one Kitten Kisses, made a comment that really stuck in my head. It seems that one line in it sounded like the premise of a fan fic all its own. So, I decided, I would make the attempt to do it, and so I have my second Kent/Lyn story. It took me a while to think of it, a few days to write it, and then two days to rewrite it. I hope it's good. And thank you, Kitten Kisses for giving me the idea. :)

In addition, this is also my first foray into the humor genre. If any of you have read any of my other stories, you will know that humor is not really my thing. I sometimes manage to put humor in my stories, but I have never once thought that I would write a humorous story. I figured my work was too grim or just too serious for that sort of thing, and some of you will probably know what I'm talking about if any one of my old readers reads this. But I thought I'd give it a try just for the attempt. I do have to ask for honesty. If this doesn't work, I want to know about it just so I can figure a way to make it work.

P.S. Fixed and reworded a few things.

I hated how the breaks just disappeared.

Simple Retaliation

Kent stood before the door of his lady's chamber. At times, he raised his fist to ask for entry, but he reconsidered the wisdom of doing so, to say nothing of the heated feelings of shock still coursing through his blood. The thought of what had occurred mere hours ago still warmed and reddened his cheeks. He also wondered if Lady Lyndis would even want to speak to him now. The rider wished he understood her gender better than he did at present. If he had, he reasoned, he could answer the questions currently rolling about in his thoughts. Did she want to see him? Was she at all as red as he? He doubted it, yet he knew that time often brought the folly of matters into the light. He supposed that the blame for this rested on him. Kent sighed as he thought of that afternoon three days previous.

It was a heated summer's day throughout the region of Caelin, and Kent supposed that the same was true across the territories of the league. While the knight had felt a burning sun many times before, this sun felt worse than others. It was as if whatever woodman stoked the heated furnace that beat upon the countryside had done his duty far too well. In the training hall of the castle, the heat seemed all the greater to the rider, especially in the iron cauldron he had encased himself in. He had thought to train, though he knew not why, and he thought he might boil in his own armor and sweat.

Despite his exercises or more likely because of them, Kent felt all the worse. Thinking that he had stayed in his cooking pot long enough, he gladly let his breastplate fall to the ground, along with his gauntlets and shoulder guards. He eagerly walked to the bucket of drinking water and splashed himself, though the tepid streams did little.

He wondered how Lady Lyndis fared this blistering day. He had not seen her since the previous day, and she had worn a look of misery. Kent did feel quite sorry for her. Only three months had passed since she had slain her treacherous grand-uncle, and while the reunion with her grandfather had sweetened her life, she had inherited his station for the time being. Lord Hausen was still abed on many a day, and though his health improved, Lyndis handled the day-to-day doings of the house. One such task, he knew, she found particularly frustrating was the dealings with the lord's council of ministers. Kent hoped that the management of her grandfather's affairs did not discourage her too greatly, especially when the heat made many matters all the more difficult to bear.

Kent had thought to remove his shirt as well, had it not gone against the protocols of the house. He counted himself fortunate that he did not, because at that moment, the doors of the training hall opened, and the sounds of heavy, forceful footsteps met his ears. Turning quickly around, he saw none other than his lady liege stepping inside. By the sight of her face, Kent was sure the heat was taking its toll on her as well, not that this surprised him. On the road to Lycia, they had spoken often, with Lyndis telling him of the many streams that she had soaked in on the warmer days. In addition, in a house of such propriety, he knew it well that to maintain the standards of dress with any sense of comfort.

More than this, in the eyes of his lady, Kent could see a look of anger and annoyance. He wondered if she sought him out or sought out one of the wooden men of the hall to face her wrath. The knight thought it was surely the latter, for he had known that a session with Lord Hausen's ministers had occurred only hours ago.

When he thought of them, the council did not sound at all intimidating. They were merely the local landowners and aristocrats whom the Marquess had elected to serve as his advisors. Yet Kent also knew that these men were among the most disagreeable fellows in the region of Caelin, and one of which bore this title more than most. One man, Avalis by name, was considered by many as an old woman among his peers in that he often amused himself by meddling in the affairs of those he met. He also knew that Lyndis disliked him, and he seemed to enjoy pestering and criticizing her. Kent thought little of the man himself, for he thought it strange that he should enjoy the actions of village women. At length, she passed by. Kent could tell that her usual smile had indeed twisted itself into a angered scowl, although the rider had to admit that she still looked lovely even now.

Watching her ferociously attack one of the false men with her blade, however, made Kent uneasy. He had thought to speak to her as she walked by him, but he had not known what to say. He had wondered if she had even seen him. During a brief respite, the knight of the realm decided he would at least make the attempt to calm her.

"Hello, Lady Lyndis," he began, certain that it was a rather safe greeting. "Are you well?" At once, he found the question foolish and stammered indiscernible sounds in wonderment at what his liege would say to such an idiotic inquiry. She looked at him with eyes that, though softer towards a friend, still carried the same earlier frustration.

"No, I'm not well," she said rather loudly. "I feel like I'm going to boil in the castle, but everyone seems to need me here. If it's not the servants, it's grandfather's councilors." Lyndis began pacing irately back and forth, waving her hands about in vexed motions.

Kent could easily share her sentiments. He thought back to his younger days as a squire and how poorly many of the supposed proper men treated him. His mind laughed when he recalled the ways he had thought to exact some simple manner of retribution upon them. However, he did not let such an amused face show itself to her, and instead, he offered his lady a friendly hand.

"Perhaps we can talk elsewhere, my lady," the knight suggested. Lyndis stopped mid-stride and looked at him with a face he could not discern. "Would you care for a walk around the gardens?" he asked, sounding rather awkward. "I doubt anyone would bother you there?"

"It's like a fireplace in here, and I'm sure it will be worse outside but very well."

Moments later, the lady of Caelin and her faithful knight walked side-by-side over the withering garden. All about them, the plants showed signs of defeat against the relentless sun. The grass underfoot felt hardened and barbed, even through the soles of their boots. Lyndis had remained silent for much of the time, and Kent did the same, unsure of what he could say. He wished desperately that he could know what went on in the thoughts of a woman. If he could, he reasoned, he could say the right words to his liege that would comfort her rather than anger her. He had thought, on many occasions, to ask Sain, but he knew that his fellow often incurred the ire of women rather than their esteem. Still, even with the lack of understanding, he found the silence unsettling.

"So, my lady," he began with a slow, cautious voice. "How did your session fare with Lord Hausen's councilors?" They continued walking, but Kent noticed the steps of the woman quickening. He thought he had just now spoken wrongly.

"I wish you hadn't brought that up," Lyndis replied irately, only confirming his suspicions. "I wish I could tell them all what I thought of them, especially that donkey, Avalis. That man is the most spoiled, arrogant, pig-headed, rude, inconsiderate fool I have ever met. The rest of them aren't any better, but he is surely the worst. Every word I say or everything I do, he criticizes, and worst of all, he does it with that false sincerity. Just today, he told me that he thought I should learn to dress like a proper lady of Lycia. He said that I might cause an uproar among the other lords if they thought the savages were invading."

"He said that?" It surprised even Kent to hear such words spoken from a man that he had known for many years.

"Yes, he did," said Lyndis. "It's not the only thing either, but he always seems to find fault in the trivial things. It's not just me he likes to attack. He even insults my maids to the point of tears if he thinks they're not doing things the way he would rather have them done. I wonder if he wished he was one of the village women who have nothing better to do than stick their noses in everything."

Kent had to chuckle at those words, though he did so quietly. Lyndis continued to tell him of the many things that the minister had said of late. In addition to her dress, he also enjoyed to berate her for not wearing a shawl over her hair, simply because he thought it proper and that her hair was hardly Lycian. He had also heard that she had, in passing, spoken of going shoeless at the very least, and the minister had again reprimanded her on her 'wild tendencies' as he put it. When the rider thought the time had come for him to speak, he again found himself at a loss for words.

"Well, my lady," he began, "Avalis is a man who prides himself on tradition, etiquette, and formality. If it is of any comfort, Lady Lyndis, your grandfather also had his fair share of troubles with him. He's been this way for as far back as anyone can remember."

"I know he is, but I just wish someone would teach him a lesson."

For a time, silence lingered between them. Kent began to reconsider sharing his childish notions of ill amusement at their expense, for he thought it might cheer her up. He also reasoned that would not consider acting upon his words. "I remember when I first met him, he did the same things to me," he began.

"You mean he wanted you to wear a shawl and a dress too?" Lyndis asked, knowing full well what he meant. For Kent to say that the question did not surprise him would be untrue, for it indeed did. Yet, he knew that lady could not help but say such a thing. In the most trying of times, poor humor often had its way with the tried.

"No," said the knight. "But he was quite the nuisance just the same. In any case, my lady, I had thought to get even with him."

"I didn't see revenge as part of your character," Lyndis stated with a degree of intrigue in her voice. "What did you try to do?"

Kent rather disliked the tone in which she spoke. He quickly pondered the idea that he had spoken much too hastily and entirely out of place. Still, he thought that it was in mere humorous interest that his liege inquired of what he had done. The rider saw little harm in that, though he did regret the deeds he had entertained in those days. "It was nothing, my lady," he said, sounding very much like his normal, virtuous character. "I was a young squire, and I had thought that a few small antics would put him in his place."

"What sort of antics?"

"Lady Lyndis, surely you're not thinking of doing the same. You are of a noble line after all."

"Yes, yes, I know, but please, Kent, I could use something to laugh at. Please, tell me." Already, the knight felt an invisible noose beginning to tighten around his neck, but he doubted he could dismiss his lady with cautions and admonitions. He had said far too much; this he knew. With that knowledge, he realized that he could only give in. And when she asked again, he relented.

"I knew how highly Avalis thought of tradition, so I had once thought to attend my knighting in nothing more than my underclothes. He found me a useful knight, and I suppose he thought he could gain some prestige if he could take credit for part of my training, which he did. I had thought to embarrass him for it. If the Marquess had not attended and my parents also, I'm sure I would have."

"Was that all?"

"Hardly, my lady, but I should not tell you. I've already told you the worst."

"But I found it rather funny. I could just see the look on his bloated face. What else did you do?"

"Besides running around nearly naked, I had toyed with more childish notions, such as putting insects in his bed or putting the kitchen oil on his floor. A number of the squires had wanted to help me, but I talked them out of it. I would not have been right, my lady, and I hope you know that." He hated lecturing her, but he thought that, as a dear friend, he should protect her honor. Still, he supposed as friends, he could still share his inner thoughts, "But between us, Lady Lyndis, I would have enjoyed seeing him learn a lesson in humility." They both shared a laugh over those foolish memories, though Kent again cautioned her against trying any such things herself. Yet, when he caught a certain impish gleam in her eyes, the honorable man wondered if she had taken that warning to heart.

Just then, a voice came calling for his lady. It was one of her grandfather's attendants, no doubt bringing a message from he to her. And so, they parted, but not before Lyndis thanked Kent for the walk and cheering her mood. Yet, he felt a strange, numbing sensation coursing up and down his back. The glow in her eyes seemed far too bright to dismiss, and Lyndis seemed far too cheerful when they parted company. As he returned to his daily routine, the knight wondered if she plotted some childish devilry and what such schemes might involve. He hoped to cast such thoughts aside, for he doubted Lyndis would do some deed that would surely bring her shame. As he laid himself in bed that night, however, a sudden bolt of lightning struck his thoughts, as Kent remembered an upcoming event.

"The ministers' feast," he said. He now wished he had not suggested that afternoon stroll. It was a small feast set to occur three days from now to honor the councilors who served the lord of the region. No one except the lord, the advisors themselves, and a small company of bodyguards were permitted to attend. As Lord Hausen would likely not attend, the duty would fall on Lyndis to host them. While no one else would attend and see, the men of stature would surely cause more ill to his lady should she make any attempt at humbling the chief of them.

As he laid back down, Kent wondered if Lyndis would truly do anything or if she merely entertained the notion of action. He prayed desperately that she only did the latter. Once again, he found himself wishing he had not spoken to her or even invited her along, if only to spare her from what might occur that coming evening.

When the day of the feast came at last, Kent waiting with great anxiousness in the long corridor leading to the private banquet hall. The lord of the house was still far too weak to join them, and as such, his granddaughter would host her advisers. The knight thought that perhaps his mind was merely riding wildly about. Still, he wondered what the she would or could do. Surely she would not think to taint the food or drink, if only to cause slight illness. It did not seem befitting for Lyndis to do such a thing, and he knew of her distaste for the use of poisons of any sort. Yet, what other thing could she do? He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear her approach, for he would escort her inside the chamber and remain with her as her guard.

She called his name, but he did not answer. When she called again, he jumped slightly in surprise. She apologized for the fright, and teased her friend slightly in good nature about how he should not doze off. Kent looked his lady up and down, wondering if anything seemed out of place. He did find her attire rather strange for her. In place of her simple garments of the plains, she wore a floor-length gown that was certainly Lycian.

Silver and gold thread work snaked up and down a skirt and bodice of nightly blue. It was a modest dress, yet it showed a slight hint of her womanly figure. Though it was a strange choice of clothing, Kent still found her a lovely thing, though he quickly cast aside any such notion for the time being. Atop her head, he found another curious item. It was a shawl woven with the same color and style as her gown.

"Do you like it?" asked Lyndis. Kent stood entirely dumbfounded at the question.

He half-wondered if she meant to disrobe as she entered the hall, for surely that would cause a great shock to the gathered. When he considered the persistent heat, even in the night air and how any attempt to cool herself met with distaste, it seemed a likely retribution for her to take. Still, he could not imagine his lady would truly act so boldly in a room full of men.

"What made you decide to do this?" asked he, finding his voice at length.

"Well, let me ask you again. Do you like it?" she replied.

"I think you look more like a lady than before," said Kent, though his hands flew to his mouth the moment he said it. "I did not mean that, Lady Lyndis," he nervously added. She could only laugh at his unsettled words.

"I know what you were trying to say, Kent," she began. "I decided that since this is my first such feast as the mistress of the house, I should make a good impression on Grandfather's councilors. Now, let us go in."

He followed Lyndis, glad of her understanding. The hall was a small place, for it was not a room for grander affairs, such as when the other lords of the league should visit. Already the local landowners and the aristocrats were assembled and seated, eagerly waiting for their lady to enter. At once, a man with a rather rounded face stood and greeted the entering pair. He looked a great deal like a bloated toad sitting on his lily pad. This was Avalis himself. The puffy man gave his liege a smile and extended his hand.

"I see you have decided to take my advice, my lady. I think you did well. Now, perhaps the people will not think you so unruly as the people of the plains so often are."

The Lady of Caelin politely allowed him to take her hand and kiss it, but Kent could see in her face, even from where he stood at her side, that she was deeply offended by his words. She smiled, a false smile, and thanked him. "What a lovely complement, sir," she said. She allowed the minister to seat her, and he rejoined his fellow men. As the servants began to fill the plates, Lyndis began the conversation. "I do hope the heat does not affect the farmers too greatly," she said.

"Indeed," many of the assembled replied.

"Imagine what it must be to work out in it," she continued. "I remember the times like this in my old home. It was amazing that the people could survive." Again, many words of assent rose up in a single chorus from the table. "Of course, it is likely worse inside than it is outdoors," Lyndis went on.

"Yes, indeed, my lady," one man said. "But what can one do about it?" Kent did not see the face of his liege, for he stood near the door at her back. He pondered what target she aimed for and if she would strike the mark. From where he stood, however, he saw her arms lifting and knew that her hands were working at the small knot of her shawl. When the cloth fell away, the rider's eyes grew larger than their owner could recall. Kent could hardly believe the sight before him, and by the looks of the men sitting around Lyndis, they seemed to share his great astonishment.

Her long hair was gone. Her flowing locks, typically held in a simple ponytail were no more. Her hair fell to her shoulders, but it went no further at the intervention of some instrument. Kent felt his mouth fall open. The gathered could hardly bring themselves to eat, and one man had spit his mouthful out. Each man seemed to mirror the face of the knight standing dutifully at his place. Never before had Kent laid eyes upon a short-haired woman, save for those humiliated. He knew not whether to look away or keep his gaze upon her. The hostess, however, paid little mind to the shocked faces staring at her and continued eating. When at last she looked up, Kent heard her speak as calmly as if nothing was at all out of the ordinary.

"Is the food to everyone's liking? It's fine venison if I believe."

From where he stood, the knight could spot the face of Avalis turning as red as a ripened berry. His cheeks puffed as he held an angry breath. He resembled nothing more than an agitated toad, although Kent did had not seen such an animal. Still, he imagined that if toads could be angered, it would look exactly like that face. The minister struck the table and rose sharply. "What have you done to yourself, my lady?"

"Is there a problem?" Lyndis replied.

"By Elimine, do you not realize what you look like?"

"Do I look hardly Lycian enough for you, Minister Avalis?"

"Do not play the fool with us, my lady. You should count yourself shamed by what you have done. Why would you do this? Why would you cut your hair so short?"

"It was a nuisance in this heat," Lyndis said with a shrug. "Surely you would want your lady to feel comfortable in her own house."

"Comfort, my lady, is of no consequence in the face of protocol. You look as one of the wild women who have only now been reigned in."

"Oh, I don't know about that, my lord. After all, a man who has been married five times to women much younger than he has very little to say about a wild nature," she said, sounding very much like a noblewoman herself. The other men seemed to forget the sight of her shortened hair in order to laugh and point or wave their mocking fingers at their fellow. The face of the aristocrat grew redder at their derision. He glared at Lyndis, and waved his arms wildly above his head, looking very much like the common men.

"Why...why you impertinent little..." he trailed off, for he knew not what to say. "I demand you leave our presence. If you will trample over the traditions of our region and the entire league, then you should simply go back to that family of wolves who raised you."

"Are you the lord of Caelin or is my grandfather? Seeing as he is still unwell, I sit in place, and I say that you cannot make such a demand. You, however, are more than free to leave." Again, a few sounds of mockery rose up from the table at the irate man. The minister's face curled into a defiant sneer, but he could say no more, for he knew that to do so would risk the wrath of the lady and her grandfather. And so he left, roughly pushing past Kent as he did. When the door had slammed behind the assembled, Lyndis went on. "Now, then good sirs, let us eat."

It was a feast that none would ever forget, Kent least of all. He could hardly have believed it even though he had seen it. He could scarcely believe that Lyndis had not only cut her own hair but paid no mind to the outrage of her guests. And now, he stood outside her door, uncertain of what he should do or say. Should he speak to her about it? Should he tell her that he thought, in some small way, that the ministers had spoken rightly? He even wondered why he stood outside her chambers in the first place. Surely he would need to speak to her, if not as a friend but as her faithful knight. It would not be too far outside the boundaries of his station to advise her on the mistake it was to act in such a way. Yes, he reasoned, it would be wrong for him not to do so.

He raised his hand to strike the door and ask for entrance, but the fist willed itself to halt in mid-air as a new thought came to mind. She would, doubtlessly, hear from her grandfather about the incident. He had known Lord Hausen for years, and he knew that he would chastise her as the Marquess of the realm and head of the house. Yet, Kent also was certain that, as her grandfather, he would find little fault in her actions. In fact, he would no doubt find the description rather comical. As Kent continued playing the statue, the image of the bloated-faced minister with red in his cheeks again appeared in the eye of his mind.

It was an amusing sight to be sure: a man at least fifty years of age practically carrying on as a child would, and all the while a woman who was not even half his age sitting in perfect grace as if nothing was at all wrong, save for her shortened tresses. Yes, it was indeed an amusing sight, and as Kent thought more and more on it, he too could hardly repel the laugh that relentlessly advanced through his throat. This was a feast no one would ever forget, and he was sure the villagers would ensure it.

At length, he turned to return to his own quarters, laughing silently to himself as he went. "I will still speak to Lady Lyndis about this," he said to the empty corridor, "tomorrow. I should at least let her have her victory tonight." And so he laid himself down, unable to sleep for he could not forbid that scene of the proudest of men humbled by a woman repeat in his thoughts. More than that, he could not forbid himself from laughing at it.

A/N: I almost hated to do more to this since the word count came to 5,000 even. Never had that happen before. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. I also hope it didn't seem to OOC for Lyndis to do something like this. I figured if she did, she would want to do it an event that had as little attention as possible. As for Kent, I think he would have some kind of side to him. No one is really that noble all the time. I figure he would even find this funny when he got over his shock.

In case you're curious about how I named my one OC, I got the name Avalis by starting with the name Alvis, which is a name from Norse myth. It means "all wise" and I thought it would be clever to give a name like that to a man who acts foolishly. Plus, as you can probably guess, his name bears a resemblance to the word 'avarice.' Since he's pretty much 'greedy' for his traditions, I thought it would fit his character as well. So, I put the two together and there you go.

Anyway, please read and review.