Waiting for You
(A/N: I'm on a quest to revive underused characters! ::grin::. Yet another pointless play of emotions by yours truly...PLEASE r/r, my self-esteem needs it.)
She slipped away from the rest of the cats that night, moving from the center courtyard area to the outskirts of the Junkyard. Mounting a pile, she lifted her head to gaze at the stars, closing her eyes in appreciation of the warm summer breeze. It was late August, and the air was still sticky with humidity and fireflies borne upon the scant winds. The promise of autumn leaked through the air, bringing with it thoughts of leaf piles and apples. After Autumn came Winter, desolate months that would be even more lonely this time around. Spring again, everything delicate and green, followed by the heady heat of summer.
She could appreciate the cycle, the continuity, of the changing seasons. It was one thing that was the same year in and year out. People change, Jellicles change, friendships and loves and hopes and dreams get built up only to be dashed upon the rocks by a cruel, stormy sea, only to begin the cycle again. That was continuous also, but in a horrible, heart-wrenching way.... The seasons, however, held promise. That cycle would never cease, not until Time ended, if that was even possible.
She wondered a lot about Time ending. What if it were to end right now, this very moment-BOOM, gone, nothing to mark that she had ever existed, that the Tribe had ever existed, that ANYONE had ever existed. She often thought about things ending....Life, for example. Specifically, her own.
Ever since he had died and left her-stupid, stupid, stupid thing to do, leaving her alone to deal with the stares and whispers, to live without him for the rest of her natural life. Alone. Without her other half by her side, reassuring, always there.
They had been best friends, sister and brother, Mates, each other, themselves. If she had him and he had her, nothing else mattered. They would disappear for hours or days or weeks at a time, but it hardly felt like seconds to her, because he was there. They could communicate by glance and gesture, they knew each other inside and out.
She often considered killing herself, just to be with him again. It was so painful, to be alone, when you had always been a part of a pair. She had thought about it quite a bit, really, every waking moment. Even when she smiled weakly at Rum Tum Tugger's cocky antics or at Rumpleteazer's amusing giggles, it was there, in the back of her mind. She had given up laughter. Nothing was worth it, not without him.
She had no other real friends. When she was younger, they had both been part of their respective "groups"-he with the Toms, she with the Queens. They hadn't understood her then, either, nor him, although they had always been included in gatherings. She had preferred only his company and he only hers, and it surprised no one when they became Mates.
"I loved you," she whispered to the stars, tears sliding down her angled face. "I loved you...and you left me."
It had happened quickly, sadly...quietly. They had been scampering across the street to the Junkyard, she in front, as he always insisted. Ladies first. He was always the gentleman. A little quiet sometimes, and the other cats considered the two "eerie," but they were perfectly suited to one another.
When he didn't appear, she became worried. "Beloved?" she called, running back to the curb to glance at the street. She screamed when she saw the blood, so much blood...it all came from him. He was slumped over on the ground in the middle of the street, tire tracks behind him. Whoever caused his death had burned a good inch of rubber off of their tires trying to stop in time....but they had been too close.
Munkustrap, the Tribe's Sentinel, had rushed outside at her scream. When he saw her Mate's fallen form, he let out a choked cry and held the sobbing Queen gently to him, as a father might do to a child who got their finger caught in a drawer. Others of the Tribe had come out to look, she wasn't sure who. It was all a haze, a dream. It had to be a dream, a nightmare. He couldn't be dead...he couldn't be. He had so much to live for!
Back in the here and now, Tantomile looked down at the jagged glass in her paw. She wasn't sure how it had gotten there, it seemed to be a lure. She wasn't sure if there was a Jellicle Hell, as there was a Human one, and wondered if you went there for killing yourself. Tears fell upon the glass, warm, crystalline tears....warm rose blood...
She shook her head. No blood. He had died for her, unknowingly, insisting, always, that "Ladies go first." She hadn't been much of a lady in the beginning, but she had tried, for him. He had given his life for her, as he had promised that he would long ago, if the time came. And it had. She couldn't end the life that he had died to save, even if she had to live it alone.
She would make sure that nobody forgot him, he who had died too young. She threw the glass away, into a nearby dilapidated television set that had its screen broken. She turned to walk back down the junk pile, toward the others, and, on impulse, turned back to the stars.
"I love you, Coricopat. And I'll make sure nobody forgets you. For as long as I live. We'll be together again, someday... and I know that you'll be waiting for me."
Far away, millions of light-years or perhaps only a few scant seconds, a star twinkled and streaked across the sky. A true smile split Tantomile's face, for she knew that somewhere, somehow...he had heard her.
And he would wait for her.