"Makoto! MAKOTO! Where are you?!" Haruka yelled desperately, eyes roaming all around in search for his best friend. "Makoto, please come out. So please! Please…"
Please don't leave me alone, he cried in his head.
~ 1 year ago ~
"Did you see that?" A girl whispered to another. "I swear he met our eyes."
The other girl's head nodded, as her dishevelled hair moved and obscured her vision.
Haruka kept his head down on the walk home from school, staring at his scuffed shoes and badly done shoe lace knots.
Head down, keep walking. A mantra he repeated over and over in his head.
He could never recall what he had ever done to displease the gods in the sky to deserve such a curse.
The curse of being able to see spirits.
Spirits, a fragmented piece of a person's soul left behind on earth, appearing to humans as ghosts which haunt people, places and objects.
Spirits normally lingered in the spots where they had died, their minds containing a poor recollection of memories from when they were alive. They constantly questioned their own existence, muttering to themselves negative thoughts, shrouded in negative energy.
The worst spirits were the ones who talked to him. They would badger him to spend time with them and play with them, or ask him for favours such as finding people they want to send a message to.
He thought he was being a good citizen, helping others in need. Except he realised 'others' meant people who were still living and breathing.
Aside from being able to see ghosts, Haruka was an avid swimmer. But only in a swimming pool.
Swimming pools generally do not have anyone dying there, in comparison to the ocean, where there are countless of spirits floating on the water. When he peaked inside the water, the spirits were there, ready to grab him by the ankle.
That was why he hated going to the beach with fervour.
"Haruka, we are going to be late." His mum called from the front door.
"Stupid family trips, stupid spirits, stupid beach", he scowled, reluctantly making his way to the car.
But it was at this trip, Haruka met Makoto.
"Ta da!" Mum jubilantly exclaimed as she gestured to the holiday house they were going to stay in for the rest of the summer holidays.
The holiday house was a modestly sized double story house, with a backyard overlooking the ocean and a path down to the beach.
His favourite space in the whole house was the alfresco living space, which extended out from the living room and faced the seaside. He would often spend his time napping on the garden deck swing, breathing in the salty air, and relishing peace and quiet away from spirits.
Whilst living in the main urban areas had its perks, it also meant there was more spirits around due to a higher population density. In this beachside, there was not many recorded deaths in the ocean, but that still didn't mean there were not any spirits present.
"Just less", he said, trying to convince himself everything was going to be fine.
The beach house itself never had any spirits living inside in all his years visiting, so it acted as a shelter from the stresses of human and non-human interactions.
Yet how come there was a spirit sitting on the window sill in his bedroom.
The spirit was a young boy with olive brown hair, age not much younger than he was right now. He was dressed in a blue and white striped shirt and wearing brown shorts. He was shoeless, with faint marks on his feet.
Haruka's first response was to pretend he didn't notice the boy. Shuffling around the bedroom, he proceeded to open the curtains and windows. Leaning past and through the spirit, he showed no reaction and his facial expression remained neutral.
What he forgot was that people normally shivered when they passed through a spirit, however the frequent need to ignore spirits and walk through them had built an anti-shiver reaction.
The boy, sitting in a curled position, moved his eyes from his feet up to Haruka's face when he realised the other boy did not react like other people did.
Sensing the piercing gaze of the spirit, Haruka hastily shuffled away from the window, and began to unpack his clothes. All the while, he was berating himself in his head for being so obvious.
The boy spirit suddenly walked over and crouched down in front of him when he was occupied with unpacking, staring at the boy in front of him.
"Hi!" The spirit greeted, his eyes and mouth smiling, along with a raised hand in mid-wave.
Startled, Haruka's eyes shot up from his pile of clothes. Realising his mistake, Haruka yelled for his mom loudly as he ran out of the room, leaving the spirit behind.
Away from the boy, away from memories he did not want to reoccur.
The spirit's face dropped into a sullen look, thinking the boy did not hear him like all the other people in the neighbourhood.
Meanwhile, Haruka was panting after running down the flight of stairs from the second story.
"What's wrong sweetie?" His mom asked with concern.
"Oh, I just wanted to ask if you needed me to buy any groceries," Haruka huffed.
"That would be a great idea. Here's a list of things I need," she said as she handed him a piece of paper. "Be careful and watch out for cars!" She called after him as he sped out of the house.
At the shops, Haruka took his time going through his mother's grocery list. When he finally completed the list of groceries, his eyes wandered over to the freezer, where all the individually wrapped iced treats were stored.
After scanning all the different flavours, he decided upon the lemonade flavoured icy pole. As he lifted his hand out of the freezer, the boy spirit appeared next to him, mouth-watering at the sight of the icy pole. His sudden presence shocked Haruka and made him almost lose his grip on the iced treat.
On the way home, the boy spirit continued following him, all the while staring intently at the icy pole. When he was showering, the boy spirit was on the other side of the shower curtain, humming a song. And when he was eating dinner, the spirit sat at the couches nearby, listening intently on the conversations around the dinner table.
Even when Haruka retreated to his favourite spot on the swing chair, the boy would appear and sit next to him on the swing.
When it was time for Haruka to go to sleep, the boy would situate himself on the window sill, and sit there with a contemplative look upon his face.
Soon, it became a routine of sort. When he woke up, he would find the boy on his window sill, staring out of a closed curtain and the sea view beyond the window. The boy would follow him wherever he went; to the beach, the store and around the house.
The one thing that puzzled Haruka was that spirits normally remained in the spot that they had died, hence the boy's ability to follow him around made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever.
A week quickly passed before he managed to hear about the story of the boy. His parents had invited the neighbours over for dinner and drinks after. While the adults sat in the dining table with the doors open to the alfresco, Haruka remained in his spot at the swing.
"You know how you did not come to the beach house last year and rented out the place," the neighbour said, with Haruka's mom nodding in response. "A small family with a little boy, not much younger than Haruka, came to live here for the summer."
Haruka's ears perked at the news.
"Well their little boy got into an accident down at the ocean during their stay."
"Oh no," Haruka's mom gasped, "was he alright?"
"I'm not sure," the neighbour replied, "an ambulance came and took the boy away. We aren't sure what actually happened. The parents left your house less than a day later after the incident. The boy…."
The rest of the neighbour's sentence was drowned out, because the boy spirit who was sitting next to him started to hyperventilate. His green eyes were opened wide, and his hands clutched tightly on the front of his shirt.
When the tears became streaming down his face, Haruka could not sit still and watch any longer. His inner compassionate and empathetic heart willed him into comforting the spirit.
No, he wasn't always a spirit. He was a boy just like me first, He thought.
Placing his hands where the spirit's shoulders were, he quietly commanded the boy to take deep breaths in and out.
Slowly but surely, the boy spirit's breathing slowed and calmed down, though the tears continued to flow down his face.
Haruka brought the boy into an embrace, allowing the spirit to lean against his shirt, hoping the boy would stop crying.
To outsiders, it would seem as if Haruka was hugging a shape out of thin-air. But to Haruka, his insides felt warm when he heard the spirit mutter "Thanks for being here for me."
Flustered, Haruka immediately stiffened as he stood up.
Awkwardly scratching the back of his head, he extended his hand out to the spirit.
"My name is Haruka Nanase. Nice to meet you." He stuttered.
The spirit, seeing his extended hand, beamed up at him. Someone finally could see and hear him, and hopefully keep him company after all these years existing in solitude.
"I'm Makoto!", he chirped, placing his hand inside Haruka's, "Let's be good friends together, Haru-chan."
Haruka shortly realised Makoto was different from all the other spirits he had ever met. Not once did Makoto ask him to do things for him, nor did he beg Haruka to only stay with him.
Whenever Haruka called for Makoto, he would show up and play with him. They would go down to the beach side and build sand castles together, with Makoto giving Haruka suggestions for the designs.
At the grocery store, Haruka learnt which snacks were Makoto's favourite. He even forgot that others couldn't see Makoto when he screamed in excitement after finding out they shared the same favourite icy pole flavour.
During the evenings after dinner, he would sit on the swing with Makoto and look out into the ocean together, quietly chatting about their hobbies.
And no matter how many times Haruka told Makoto to stop with the endearment, Makoto would not relent against calling him 'Haru-chan'.
"Haru-chan is a girl's name!" Haruka would huff exasperatedly.
"But Haru is only Haru if you add the '–chan' at the end." Makoto reasoned, a light-hearted smile tugging at his lips.
Haruka made a voiceless scream and threw his hands into the air, though it was all an act to elicit Makoto to laugh.
And when he succeeded, he gave himself an invisible pat on the back.
On one of the nights when they shared some time down strolling at the beach, Makoto asked him a sudden question.
"What if I became one of those stars in the sky? Would you still remember me, Haru-chan?"
Haruka was instantly filled with confusion and concern, because he remembered how his mother once told him how people's souls became stars after they disappear.
"Are you going to leave me, Makoto?" Haruka whispered in disbelief, hoping it wasn't going to happen.
"I'm not sure Haruka, I'm not sure." Makoto replied, eyes still glued upon the stars.
Haruka stumbled when he heard Makoto call him by his full name, and the seriousness of the boy spirit's tone did not sit well with him.
Too busy staring at the ground and trying to figure out what was going to happen to his friend, Haruka failed to notice Makoto struggling to keep the pooled tears in his eyes from leaking.
The next day, Haruka's mom noticed a dejected look upon her son's face.
"Sweetie, are you alright?" Haruka's mom asked concerningly.
"Mum, can I make friends with a spirit?" Haruka whispered despondently.
"What do you mean, like an imaginary friend? I guess that isn't really beneficial to your social development sweetie." His mom replied.
"Yeah, I guess not." He sighed.
My mum would not understand anyways, Haruka pessimistically thought.
Which is why his friendship and his relationship with Makoto must stay a secret.
Makoto was the one friend in his life that would support him with everything he did, and gave him encouragement from the sides. Like the time he braved himself and went into the ocean to swim, or the other time he overcame his shyness and helped the old man at the grocery store.
Makoto genuinely believed in him, and was always by his side.
Until his father found out.
Haruka's father was a man filled with hate towards superstitious actions. Whether it was tearing out the astrology page in the newspaper to prevent Haruka from reading it, or forbidding him to watch any movie talking about aliens or non-existent creatures.
It also meant Haruka generally watched documentaries, especially the ocean related documentaries he had acquired over the years about whales and dolphins.
When his father caught him talking to supposedly thin air about UFOs and aliens, he cracked it. Haruka was immediately placed under his father's watchful gaze 24 hours a day, and wherever he went his father would be there with him.
It felt suffocating, not being able to talk to Makoto when he was standing right there next to him. Even the smallest hand gestures, his father would make him stop walking and question him about it.
Hence, when his father had invited friends over to have a drink that night, Haruka thought he finally had a chance to talk to Makoto.
As the night wore on, the adults got rowdier and rowdier with the alcohol. Haruka was told to go to sleep upstairs, and he quickly ascended the flight of stairs.
"Makoto, pst… Makoto," he called.
"Haru-chan…." Was the faint reply.
"Where are you Makoto?" He desperately called again.
"I'm so scared Haru-chan. It's so quiet. Why is there only silence and pressure on my ears?" Fear was laced in Makoto's tone.
"Come out Makoto, I'm here for you so don't be afraid." Haruka reassured.
"I can't move, I can't breathe…. Haru! Haru! Save me!" Makoto screamed.
"Makoto!" Haruka yelled in response.
Suddenly, the lights in his bedroom were turned on. Haruka's father stood at the door frame, face as white as sheet, hands gripping so tightly the wood almost splintered.
"Did you just say Makoto?" His father's rhetorical question bounced around the bedroom.
The storm had arrived for Haruka.
Haruka later learnt from his neighbour that the boy who drowned in the ocean was called Makoto. He had green eyes and his personality matched the one the spirit displayed. Haruka concluded that his friend was in fact the Makoto who drowned and would never come back ever again.
"But," the neighbour said, "none of us know if the boy survived the trip to the hospital. Maybe it's worth a shot to figure that out for us. What do you think laddie?"
However, when the summer ended, his father ensured Haruka had no time to search for Makoto.
The mornings were crammed with swimming practice and the evenings were filled with night classes to boost his academic skills. On the weekend, he would have his instrumental lesson and more swimming practice.
The combination of activities, along with sleep deprivation after Makoto's disappearance, caused Haruka to fatigue shortly after the first semester of school finished.
Whilst he did not have time to go visit hospitals, Haruka tried to search for traces of Makoto everywhere. Every social media platform, asking around the neighbourhood and even trying to search through his parent's files to find Makoto's last name.
Dead end after dead end soon snowballed into disappointment, fuelling the negativity Haruka carried around with him.
Maybe it was the fact he won a prize in a free scratchy ticket. Or maybe it was the fact he decided to study, instead of playing the guessing game, for his test last week and got a reasonable score. But whatever the reason, lady luck finally smiled down upon him.
That day started like it did normally, with swimming practice in the morning down at the pool.
Long strokes cutting the water in front of him, and the rhythmic movement of his kicks blended together. Freestyle has always been the one stroke which came naturally to him, allowing him to travel through the water with minimal effort and thought.
He slammed his hand flat against the pool wall, signalling the end of his laps for the morning. Standing upon the shallow end of the pool, he lifted his head out of the water and took off his cap and goggles.
Shaking the water out of his hair and eyes, he turned towards the pool edge in preparation to leave the water.
Only to come face to face with an outstretched hand.
"Haru-chan!"
That voice was so familiar, bringing with it memories of lemonade icy poles and naps on sweltering summer afternoons.
His eyes followed the hand up to the owner, a boy with green eyes and a mop of olive brown hair.
"Makoto…." He choked out, throat beginning to constrict as the onslaught of tears began. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, silly. Now come on and grab my hand."
~millieashford