You've all heard this story before, but let me tell it anyway: this was meant to be a one-shot to go into the Subordinate Clauses series, but then it ended up getting too long (groan) and now it will be at least three parts. Don't worry, I haven't abandoned Third Person Singular! Hope you enjoy.
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It was a fine morning in October when Bilbo Baggins decided to put his latest scheme into action. He had found, since returning from his adventure, that he was all over schemes and plans where before he had been quite content to plan nothing more momentous than the menu for the day. It was odd, perhaps. And then again, these days he found himself at least partly responsible for the continued advance of another person's progress, and perhaps that made an eye to the future inevitable. In any case, it was surprising how much he enjoyed his little ideas, considering them one by one and how they might be made to be successful. And now, when Fili and Kili had been his guests for almost two months, and Fili had become cheerful and bright of eye and Kili at least a little less anxious and prone to dark moods, Bilbo decided it was time to take another step forward.
Fili had gone out running very early, and, given the poor weather, he had not insisted his brother go with him. But after an hour or so, the clouds broke up and lifted away, leaving the sky looking washed clean, and although Bilbo would normally have waited for Fili's return before putting his plan into action, Kili seemed so unusually free of tension that morning that Bilbo thought he should not delay, for with autumn closing in, another such happy coincidence of weather and mood might not strike for many days.
"Now," he said to Kili, who had been helping him clear up after second breakfast, "would you like to go for a walk?"
"Yes," Kili replied immediately, which was no surprise, of course, for although Bilbo and Fili had tried again and again to impress upon him that he should only agree to things he truly wanted to do, yet Bilbo could not remember a time he had ever said no to such a question.
"Splendid!" Bilbo said. "It is marvellous weather for a walk. Mind you take your coat, though, for I think it is rather chilly outside." And he gestured at the door with a smile.
Kili stared at him as if waiting for something. Bilbo, having anticipated this reaction, nodded at the door again.
"I do not feel like walking today," he said. "Hobbits are rather lazy creatures, you know."
This brought a look of great confusion over Kili's face, which was quickly replaced by a worried expression. "I not understand," he said at last.
"You should go for a walk, since you have said you want to," Bilbo said. "It is a shame to waste such weather. But I will stay here."
Well, now Kili's look of worry only increased, and he glanced from Bilbo to the door and back again.
"I not understand," he said again. "I should go walk? Alone?"
"Yes," Bilbo said. "But only if you want to. But you did say you wanted to, did you not?"
And this was quite unfair, for of course Bilbo knew full well that Kili did not want to go for a walk on his own. But it had begun to weigh heavily on Bilbo's mind in the last days that Kili still did nothing of his own invention. Indeed, he barely even moved about the hobbit hole without being told where to go and what to do. Bilbo's scheme was very clever, for he had made sure to have Kili agree to the walk before he knew what it entailed, and now if he did not go it would almost seem like going against Bilbo's wishes. But it would not be, and of that Bilbo had made quite sure: he was determined that Kili should go and do something by himself, and equally determined that he should not be forced or ordered to do so. Admittedly, his scheme still had some element of conniving in it, but Bilbo had been thinking about it for some days. and had come to the conclusion that it was the only way that would at least leave some semblance of free will to Kili.
"Off you go, then," he said, ruthlessly squashing down his feelings of guilt as Kili began to look mildly distressed. "Make sure you're back by lunch." And he went to the front door and opened it. "Come along."
Kili stared and stared, but at last he took a few steps forward and took his coat from the peg by the door. He clutched it in one hand and turned to Bilbo.
"You want I go alone?" he asked.
"You want to go for a walk," Bilbo insisted, ignoring a renewed pang of guilt at the rather lost look on the little dwarf's face. "And very sensible an idea of yours it was, too. Walking alone is very enjoyable, my lad, I assure you."
Kili, with great reluctance, took three steps out of the door, and then looked back at Bilbo. "Where I should go?" he asked.
"Oh, as to that," Bilbo said, "wherever you like!" And he smiled and pointed down the path, and at last, when Kili only stood and stared at him forlornly, he gritted his teeth and gave a cheery wave.
"Well, enjoy yourself!" he said, and closed the door.
He leaned against it, fighting the urge to open it again and tell Kili that of course he did not need to go for a walk if he did not want to. Indeed, he was not only contravening the rules of politeness - for it was certainly not the done thing to shoo a guest out of your house and close the door in his face - but also those of his soft heart, which desired nothing more than to have his friends comfortable and happy and never made to do anything unpleasant.
"Well, it will be for the best in the long run," he told himself as he leaned there against the door, wondering if Kili was still standing on the other side. "It has to happen eventually, and it might as well be today. And he is a very sensible dwarf and will certainly not get into any trouble in the Shire."
And he decided that he would spend the next hour cleaning some of the rooms deep in the hobbit hole, and stay well away from the door and the windows. But somehow, when he was on his way to collect a broom, he found himself hiding by the kitchen window, peering out through the lacy curtains. Kili, he saw, had moved several steps further away from the door, and had even passed through the little gate. But now he stood on the path and turned his head left and right, and seemed at a loss for what to do next.
"It is for him to decide," Bilbo said to himself. "He must learn to decide for himself, and that's all there is to it!"
And he hurried away and forced himself not to look back.
Fili returned perhaps half an hour later. Bilbo, who was up to his elbows in cobwebs in one of the root cellars, heard the door slam shut, and then Fili's voice calling his name, and he jumped to his feet and hurried up the passageway to the upper rooms, for he certainly did not wish Fili to discover his brother's absence and fly into a panic. But in fact, he need not have worried, for when he arrived at the front door he found Fili standing in the hall with a look of confusion and some degree of anger on his face, and Kili beside him, hair over his face and elbow held tightly in his brother's hand.
"I found him wandering around on his own outside," Fili said, without so much as a hello. "I cannot get a word of sense out of him. He said he had to stay outside until lunch, but he does not seem to be able to tell me why."
"Ah," Bilbo said, suddenly realising that there were aspects of his scheme that perhaps he had not fully thought through. "Yes, well, that is not quite right. He wanted to go for a walk, and I did not want to go, so I told him to go on his own."
Fili stared at him in incredulous silence, and Bilbo began to rather kick himself for not sharing his ideas with the young dwarf when he first began to invent them.
"You let him go on his own?" Fili said finally, sounding as if he could not decide whether to be furious or simply astounded.
"And why not?" Bilbo asked, deciding not to mention that it was less that he had let Kili go and more that he had made him go. "He is a grown dwarf, if he wishes to go for a walk on his own, why should he not?"
"Because he is Kili!" Fili cried. "He cannot walk around on his own! Anything might happen to him!"
Kili shifted ever so slightly beside his brother, and Bilbo decided that this conversation was most certainly doing more harm than good.
"Why don't we let your brother sit down," he said, trying to sound conciliatory, "and then you and I can have a talk." He stared at Fili meaningfully, and then indicated Kili with a quick jerk of his head and a raise of his eyebrows.
Fili scowled at him, but of course he had no desire to cause his brother any further distress, and so he towed him through to the living room and deposited him in his chair.
"Don't move," he said to him, and Bilbo's heart sank, for it was quite the opposite of his hopes to have Kili being ordered around by his brother. Fili turned and stalked past Bilbo out into the hall, and as Bilbo hurried along behind, he saw to his astonishment that Fili was locking the front door and slipping the key into his pocket.
"Well, I never," Bilbo muttered to himself, but he followed Fili into one of the rooms that was furthest away from the living room. By this time, it was clear that Fili was working himself into a towering rage, but Bilbo was feeling rather wrathful himself, and was not at all in the mood to be scolded, so that when Fili rounded on him he drew himself up and faced him squarely.
"How-" Fili started, but Bilbo was not about to let him get the first words in.
"Now, look here, master dwarf," he said, "your brother was perfectly all right outside on his own, and what you have just done has made it so that he will be even less inclined to be his own dwarf from now on, I shouldn't wonder. And locking the door! You should be ashamed of yourself!"
Fili stared at him in astonishment. "I should be ashamed?" he said. "Kili cannot go wandering by himself - he is not well and he cannot look after himself, as you know perfectly well! You were supposed to be looking after him, and instead you let him wander off? What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that he is not at all unwell, and that he is perfectly capable of looking after himself, if only we would let him," Bilbo said. "I was thinking that perhaps one day it would be nice to see him come and go as he pleases, just as you do. But I see you would rather keep him prisoner!"
A look of fury came over Fili's face at this. "Watch your tongue, master hobbit," he growled, but Bilbo did not fall back.
"Well, and what else would you call it, when you lock the door and take the key so that he cannot get out?" he cried. "Perhaps you would prefer to chain him up next time you go out, just in case?"
It was a terrible thing to say, and Bilbo knew it as soon as the words left his mouth. Yet he could not call them back, but could only stutter as Fili's eyes widened and flashed with rage. "Oh, I am sorry, I am sorry," he said. "I did not mean to - but you must understand, my dear Fili, he can never truly get better if he does not learn to do things for himself."
"Things, aye!" Fili cried. "He cooks, does he not? And he comes running with me, and plays with Esme."
"Yes, when we tell him to," Bilbo replied. "He comes running when you ask him to come, and he plays when Esme demands it, and he cooks when I suggest it. But he does not do anything himself, master dwarf, and he never has, as long as I have known him. Surely he had a mind of his own before the orcs? He did not simply do everything you told him to then, I am quite sure."
"He-" Fili started, and then stopped, suddenly looking stricken. He passed a hand over his face and closed his eyes a moment, and when he opened them, the anger had ebbed away, replaced by sorrow. "Yes," he said, in a much quieter voice. "He had a mind of his own. Too much so, most of the time."
Bilbo sighed and reached tentatively forward to pat his friend's arm. "And he will again," he said. "But not if we don't push him. We have tried and tried to convince him to make his own decisions, have we not? But he never does unless forced into it. I thought - I thought if he was on his own, if he couldn't look to us to choose for him, he would have to do it for himself, even if it is only choosing whether to turn left or right at the fork in the path."
Fili frowned. "Then - it was you who made him go out alone?" he said. "He did not simply take it into his head to wander off?"
Bilbo almost laughed at this, for the idea of Kili taking it into his head to do anything was quite ridiculous, and yet exactly what Bilbo wished him to do. "Yes, I told him to, in a way," he said. "Indeed, I almost had to push him out of the door with my own hands." He braced himself for more anger, but to his surprise, Fili only looked relieved.
"Then if we do not push him, he will not do it again?" he asked.
"I should think not," Bilbo replied, and Fili nodded.
"Good," he said, and now Bilbo understood the look of relief, and yet rather wished there had been more anger instead, for it seemed to him that Fili had not been listening at all to what he had been saying.
"It is not good at all," he said. "Unless you mean to tell me that you are content with your brother remaining forever dependent on us to tell him what to do at every moment, and never learning to follow his own heart and mind, or yet even to recognise that he has them?"
Fili stared at him, and for just a moment, Bilbo though that he would reply that he was indeed content with that. But at last, he shook his head.
"He is not ready," he said. "You saw how upset he was."
"He will be upset if he has to learn this today, or next week, or in ten years," Bilbo said. "It will always be painful and difficult. But surely it is better to do it sooner rather than later? And certainly better to do it here, in the Shire, where no harm can come to him."
Fili's jaw tightened. "He is not ready," he insisted, although he sounded less sure of himself than he had before. Bilbo sighed and patted his arm.
"Are you sure it is Kili who is not ready?" he asked.
Kili became sullen and withdrawn after his aborted walk, and although Bilbo did his best to improve matters with the liberal application of cake and cheerful chatter, still there came no break in the weather, until at last, on the following day Bilbo sat down by him and patted his knee.
"Are you angry with me, my lad?" he asked.
Kili frowned and shook his head. "Why angry?" he said.
"Because I made you go outside on your own," Bilbo replied. "I do think you will enjoy it, if you only practice until you get used to it."
"I not angry," Kili said, and then glanced at the door to the hallway. "Fili angry," he said, rather quietly. And it was certainly true, nor had Fili made the least attempt to hide it, but had spent the last little while scowling and closing doors more forcefully than was strictly necessary.
"But he is not angry with you," Bilbo said quickly, and he was about to embark on his (now rather well-practised) explanation of this when Kili shook his head again.
"No," he said. "He is angry with you." And he looked, for a moment, so utterly miserable that Bilbo sat back in his chair in astonishment.
"Well - yes, he is not entirely happy with me," he admitted. "But that should not make you so unhappy. Neither of us are angry with you, after all."
"You wanted I go walk," Kili said. "Fili not wanted this." He stared at Bilbo with a troubled frown, and Bilbo began to understand - at least a little - what it was that was causing him such distress.
"And you do not know which of us to agree with, is that right?" he asked. Kili did not answer, but he looked away, and Bilbo felt sure he had the right of it. "Ah, Kili," he said, "you do not have to agree with either of us, if you do not want. Have I not told you time and again that it is what you want that is important?"
Kili whispered something that Bilbo could not hear, and Bilbo leaned closer and tapped his knee.
"Speak up," he said. "What was that?"
"I not want go walk alone," Kili whispered, and Bilbo suddenly realised that he had talked himself into a trap.
"Hm, well," he said, "that is different, you see. There are some things you must do, whether you wish to or not, because it is good for you. Like washing vegetables before you eat them."
He was rather pleased with himself for this analogy, and decided to ignore the part of his mind that pointed out that he was doing just what he had determined he would not do when he had invented his scheme. But the scheme had long gone awry, and if he was to salvage it at all, well, perhaps he would have to alter it a little.
Kili frowned. "I not understand why wash vegetables," he said.
Bilbo sighed and settled himself more comfortably in his chair. At least, he reflected, Kili seemed to be a little less anxious about Fili's mood now. Perhaps distracting him was a better way forward than trying to explain, at least for the time being - for he had no illusions that Fili would allow him to send Kili out alone again in the next little while.
"Well," he said, "as I have told you before, it is because dirt tastes most unappealing, and can make you ill, besides-"
In the end, it took almost a week - and a great deal of sulking - before Fili came to Bilbo one quiet morning and said, "Perhaps you were right."
Bilbo, in the middle of pouring himself a cup of tea, looked up in surprise. "About what?" he asked. But a moment later he understood, and he straightened and set down the teapot. "Oh," he said, "then you agree that we must take steps to help your brother learn?"
Fili cast a troubled glance towards the living room. "I do not like the thought of him going out alone," he said. "I do not - I do not like the thought of him alone at all." But now he turned back to Bilbo, and although there was an unhappy cast to his face, still, there was determination there, too. "But if it is the only way - if it is the only way to free him from the chains those foul creatures put upon his mind - then better it should be here, where there can be little danger to him."
Bilbo breathed out a great breath, and felt rather light, although he had not been aware that anything was weighing upon him. "I am glad," he said. "And I hope you are not still angry with me."
"I hope you are not angry with me," Fili responded.
Bilbo chuckled at this. "Well, if I flew into a rage every time a dwarf played the fool, I should have little time to do anything else!" he said. "Come, then. When shall we start?"
And start they did, though not until the next day, for it seemed Fili still needed a little time to accustom himself to the idea. So it was that, the following morning, after breakfast, Bilbo nodded at Fili and then rose to his feet, going to Kili's chair and putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Now, my lad," he said, "do you remember what I told you about going for a walk by yourself? About how it is something difficult that nonetheless must be done?"
Kili looked up at him, and then shot Fili a worried glance. Fili, too, rose from his chair and stood, rather stiffly it was true, but managing to betray little of the anxiety he no doubt felt. "I agree with the hobbit, my brother," he murmured. "You should go for a walk for a little while." And if he placed too much emphasis on the word little, well, perhaps Kili did not notice.
Kili made no move to stand up, despite this reassurance from his brother. He seemed, if anything, even more unsure of himself than he had the first time Bilbo had told him he should go out, and Bilbo was considering various avenues of persuasion when Fili simply took two steps across the room and took his brother by the arm, gently pulling him out of the chair and pushing him towards the front door. Kili stumbled a little, then righted himself, and although Bilbo made silent inward protest at this action of Fili's, which of course made it all too obvious that Kili's own desires were irrelevant to the situation, yet Kili himself seemed a great deal more comfortable with being pushed than he had with being asked, and took his coat from the peg without further protest.
"Good," Fili said, opening the door. "But you will - you will be careful, won't you, my brother? You will not go near the river, or talk to anyone you do not know?"
Kili only stared at him, his eyes wide. Bilbo almost laughed at the idea of Kili voluntarily going anywhere near the river, but he did not, for both brothers seemed under a great deal of strain. At last, Kili spoke.
"Where I should go?" he whispered.
"It is just as I told you," Bilbo said firmly, stepping forward and laying a hand on Fili's arm. "Wherever you like." He pointed at Kili. "You should go where you want to go."
Kili's mouth turned down at the corners, and Bilbo felt Fili's arm tense under his hand. He knew that if there was any more delay, Fili would most likely give in and tell Kili to come back inside - he knew this because he was on the verge of doing so himself, looking at the poor little dwarf's miserable expression - and so he took another step forward and gave Kili a tiny push.
Tiny it might have been, but it was enough to send the little dwarf across the threshold, and Bilbo, without thinking further about it, took the door from Fili's hand and shut it firmly. "There," he said, and turned to look at his friend. Fili looked almost as unhappy as Kili, and Bilbo sighed and took him by the arm. "Now, I think it's time for some tea," he said.
Tea, while certainly an improvement over no tea, was not quite the panacea Bilbo had been hoping for. Fili sat with his hands wrapped around his cup, his shoulders hunched and tense, and paid little attention to Bilbo's attempts at conversation, seemingly focussing all of his mind on listening for Kili's returning footsteps.
"We should have told him when to come back," he said, apparently in answer to a remark Bilbo had made about the likelihood of frost in the coming days. "Who knows how long he will stay out?"
"I doubt very much he will be gone for long," Bilbo replied. "Was he on his way home when you found him last time?"
"No," Fili replied, "he was facing away from Bag End. But he can only have been gone a few moments last time, surely?"
"Oh, no," Bilbo said, "he was out for half an hour or more."
Fili frowned at this, and Bilbo sat up a little straighter. "What is that face for, master dwarf?" he asked.
"He was barely out of sight of the door," Fili said. "Only a few steps away. Surely it cannot have taken him half an hour to travel such a short distance?"
Bilbo sighed, thinking about how he had watched Kili standing beyond the gate, seemingly at a loss. "Well, perhaps he will manage a few more steps this time," he said.
At this moment, there came a loud knock at the door, and Bilbo - who was not expecting visitors - leapt to his feet and went to answer it. When he did so, he found on the other side the stout figure of Sigismond Took, brother to Adalgrim and uncle to little Esmeralda and all her brothers and sisters (and, of course, Bilbo's cousin, although they were not particularly close), and beside him - to Bilbo's surprise and annoyance - stood Kili, eyes fixed on the ground.
"Good morning, Cousin Bilbo," Sigismond said with a bow. "I've found a dwarf that I think belongs to you."
"So I see," Bilbo said, doing his best to sound polite. "But why have you brought him back here?"
"Oh, well, I found him wandering on the hillside," Sigismond said, "and I've heard as how he's-" Here he paused and glanced at Kili, then leaned forward and lowered his voice. "-a bit touched, so I guessed he must have wandered off when you weren't looking." He leaned back again, smiling jovially. "Maybe you should keep the gate locked." He frowned over at Kili, then at the gate. "Though he's tall enough he could probably just hop over it, if he'd a mind." Here he shook his head, as if at a loss to understand why any creature should need to grow so tall as a dwarf, and turned to Kili. "You shouldn't go stepping over gates, you know," he said, speaking at twice the volume and half the speed he had used to address Bilbo.
"Yes, well, much obliged, I'm sure," Bilbo said hastily, and he took hold of Kili's arm and steered him inside. "I would ask you in, of course, but-" he thought frantically, trying to invent an excuse, but Sigismond only waved a hand.
"Oh, I'm on my way over to see my brother, anyway," he said. "I only stopped by to make sure you got your dwarf back before anyone started to worry about him. I know how dear Begonia frets when Esme is late back from playing, after all."
"Hm," Bilbo said. "Yes, but Esme is six years old." This he said in a tone that was rather more short than was polite, but if Sigismond noticed this, he did not comment on it.
"Seven next week, if I'm not mistaken," he said cheerfully. "Good morning, then!" And he strode off down the path, whistling a jaunty tune.
Bilbo sighed and turned to Kili. "Did you have a nice walk?" he asked, feeling rather deflated.
Kili glanced quickly up at him, then back at the floor. "Hobbit talk very loud," he muttered.
"Some hobbits are rather stupid," Bilbo said, a little unfairly, it must be said. "Would you like to go out again?"
But Kili pulled such a terrible face at this, and the likelihood of the same thing happening again was so high, that Bilbo had not the heart to force him outside again. And so he took him through to the living room, and grumbled to himself all afternoon about well-meaning hobbits and their foolish interference, and ignored the fact that Fili seemed far less irritated than he was by Kili's swift return.
By the next day, however, Bilbo had devised a new plan. It was market day in Hobbiton, and Bilbo set off soon after elevenses with his basket on his arm. In fact, there was very little he needed to buy, and so he wandered aimlessly up and down the little rows of stalls until he spotted a hobbit who was ideal for his purposes.
"My dear Jessamine!" he cried, hurrying up to her. "And how are you this fine morning?"
Jessamine Bolger looked very pleased to see him - as well she might, for Bilbo was not unaware that, what with his sudden disappearance and equally sudden return, not to mention his strange visitors, he was very much still the richest source of gossip in Hobbiton, if not all the Shire. "Most well, thank you, Bilbo," she said. "And how are you? And your dwarves?"
"Very well, very well indeed," Bilbo said, and then raised his voice a little. "In fact, Kili likes it here very much."
"Does he, indeed?" Jessamine said. "I suppose it is a great improvement on wherever it is that he comes from."
"Hm," Bilbo said, doing his best to sound polite. "Well, in any case, he has decided he wants to explore."
"Oh yes, I heard that Sigismond Took found him wandering alone yesterday," Jessamine said, laying a hand on his arm with an expression of sympathy. "It must be very difficult for you, Cousin Bilbo, to have to look after someone with his affliction. Is it true that he spent many years living with beasts in the wilderness? I wonder that he survived with any of his wits at all!"
Bilbo gritted his teeth. "As it happens, he is rather clever," he said. "But in any case, my dear Jessamine, I do think it would be good for him to see Hobbiton a little more. So that we can show him what a proper, civilised place looks like, you see."
"Oh, yes, what a marvellous idea!" Jessamine cried. "And then when he goes back to his dwarvish friends, he can explain to them what it is to live somewhere safe and comfortable, and maybe they will be able to improve their lives a little."
"Indeed," Bilbo coughed. "What an excellent idea of yours, to have him wander round on his own a little. You are always so inventive, my dear cousin."
Jessamine looked rather surprised by this, and then gave a pleased smile. "I do have good ideas, I must admit," she said, in a tone that was probably supposed to be confidential, but which nonetheless must have been audible from ten paces away. "Herugar is always saying so."
"I'm sure he is," Bilbo replied. "Well, I will be sure to follow your instructions! Only we must see to it that all the hobbits know, so that no-one tries to take him home before he is ready."
"Oh, indeed!" Jessamine said, nodding solemnly. "That would not do at all! And you know, my dear cousin, I am likely to visit a great many hobbits before the day is out, and I can explain it all to them, if you like. I know you are not a great one for invitations, yourself. And it would certainly be easier for me to explain it, since it was my idea, you know."
"It certainly would," Bilbo said. "I am so pleased we have had this little chat, my dear Jessamine. I confess I was quite at a loss before we spoke."
"You know I am always glad to help, Cousin Bilbo," Jessamine replied with a magnanimous smile. "Now, I must be off - I think I see Lily Bracegirdle over yonder." And she kissed Bilbo soundly and hurried away.
Bilbo watched her go and then smiled to himself. "Well, that should do it," he murmured, and then bought a bunch of carrots for appearance's sake, and made his way home.
Having made these arrangements for the future success of his scheme, Bilbo made his third attempt the very next afternoon, since the weather, if no longer fine, was at least not actively unpleasant. He sent Kili off in much the same way he had on the previous two occasions - though this time the little dwarf did not ask where he should go, but only followed Bilbo with reluctant steps to the front door, and did not speak, though his expression was mournful indeed. When he had gone - or at least, when the door was closed - Bilbo sent Fili to chop wood in the cellar, and set himself to cleaning the kitchen, and resisted looking out of the window. And this time, half an hour passed, and then an hour, and no-one brought Kili back to the hobbit hole. Fili returned, bathed in sweat, having apparently split every log in the cellar, and sat silently at the kitchen table, and, once he could find nothing else to clean, Bilbo joined him, and tried to think of something to talk about, or some task that Fili could occupy himself with. Another hour passed, and when they were halfway through the third, Fili rose abruptly to his feet.
"It's time for afternoon tea," he said. "I'm going to find Kili."
And, without any further explanation, he stumped off.
Now, Bilbo found this all rather unexpected - not least because Fili had never been the least troubled by Kili missing afternoon tea before, and had often kept him out all the way to dinnertime - and he scrambled to catch up with Fili before he should disappear entirely. He found him standing outside the garden gate, frowning down the path.
"We should have watched him," he said. "Which way did he go?"
"Calm yourself, master dwarf," Bilbo said, patting his arm. "I'm sure he is on his way home." Indeed, he was rather surprised that Kili had stayed out so long, but he told himself he was very pleased, and refused to admit the nagging little fears that crept through his belly as he stood and looked down the hillside and saw no sign of his friend. "After all, no harm can have come to him in the Shire," he added. "Why don't you go left and I shall go right?"
And so that was what they did. Bilbo made his way down the hill, trying his best not to hurry - for of course, there was no reason to be concerned - and, in the distance, he heard Fili calling Kili's name. When he was halfway to the river, he heard his own name being called by another voice, and turned to see who it was.
It was Asphodel Burrows, who was looking rather pleased with herself. "Good afternoon," she said. "We have had your dwarf visiting today. What an odd creature he is!"
Bilbo found himself quite astonished by this, for to his knowledge Kili had never once exchanged words with Asphodel or any of her family before, nor even knew of her existence. Why, then, should he have gone visiting with them? It was most peculiar!
"How lovely," he said (although in fact, he was not at all sure that such an experience would have been lovely for Kili). "Can I come and collect him? His brother wants him home for afternoon tea."
"Oh! He is not there any more," Asphodel said. "Lily Bracegirdle happened to be visiting as well, and she thought it would be quite marvellous for your Mr. Kili to go visiting at her house, seeing as how he wants to learn all about the Shire and she and hers know more about the Northfarthing than anyone else in Hobbiton." Here Asphodel made an expression that, if she had not been such a well-brought-up hobbit, might have been said to be a roll of the eyes. "She took him off more than an hour ago. And we found him at Buttercup Gamgee's house, so he is certainly getting a taste of hobbit hospitality!"
"How lovely," said Bilbo again, although this time rather weakly. "Well, thank you for your kindness, and I'm sure Kili is very grateful. But I'm afraid I must be on my way - afternoon tea, you know." And he nodded his thanks and hurried off in the direction of the Bracegirdles' hobbit hole, hoping that Kili would not be too overwhelmed when he arrived there.
But when he did arrive, Lily Bracegirdle met him at the door and insisted he come in for tea before telling him that Kili was already gone. "Oh, yes," she said. "Jessamine was visiting, and she seemed quite put out that Mr. Kili had come visiting with us before he came to her. After all, she said, it was my idea in the first place! As if she invented tea and cake, don't you know. But your Mr. Kili is rather fond of cake, isn't he? So nice to see a hobbit enjoy his food so much!" She paused here and frowned. "Or a dwarf, rather. How odd, to have a dwarf in my hobbit hole! But I was very surprised, my dear Bilbo, he did not seem savage in the least, though his table manners leave something to be desired."
"I will tell him you said so," said Bilbo hastily, and managed to excuse himself before another round of tea appeared. It seemed he had been rather too clever in his scheme to convince the hobbits to play their parts in Kili's recovery - and now the poor little dwarf was with the Bolgers, of all people! Goodness only knew how he was surviving, after so many hours of visiting.
So concerned was Bilbo that he all but ran to the Bolgers' hobbit hole, and was quite out of breath when he knocked at the door. Jessamine beamed when she opened it and saw him on the other side.
"My dear Bilbo!" she cried. "Just the hobbit! I have been telling your Mr. Kili all about the Shire, just as we agreed yesterday. Come in, come in!" And she stepped aside, and let Bilbo through to the hall, and thence to the living room.
There, perched on the edge of a chair, clutching a tea-cup and looking exhausted and very uneasy, was Kili. He looked up when Bilbo entered, and the expression of relief that crossed his face when he saw him was quite remarkable.
"Hello, my lad," Bilbo said, crossing the room with three quick steps and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I hear you've been rather busy."
"You'll stay for tea, of course?" Jessamine asked, bustling back into the room with a tray of biscuits and little cakes.
"Thank you, indeed," Bilbo said, "but I'm afraid we must be getting back. Kili's brother is expecting us, you know. He will worry if we don't return."
"Worry about what?" Jessamine asked, sounding rather surprised. "There can be nothing to worry about here in the Shire! Surely he will now that you have simply gone visiting. Why, every time I leave the house, I find myself gone for hours! Though perhaps it is not the same for you, cousin Bilbo, since you are not so - fond of invitations."
Bilbo managed to prevent himself from rolling his eyes, and took firm hold of Kili's arm, bringing him to his feet. "Ah, well, you must remember, they have not been raised in the Shire, and so they are not used to how very safe it is," he said. "It would not do at all for us to let him worry, even though of course there is nothing at all to worry about. Thank you so much for the invitation - I do receive so few, not nearly so many as you, I am sure! - and a good day to you, cousin."
And with this, he hurried from the room before Jessamine could suggest sending someone to fetch Fili so that he could enjoy her hospitality as well. Indeed, so single-minded was he in his pursuit of escape that they were halfway back to Bag End before he thought to loosen his grip on Kili's elbow.
"Now then, are you all right?" he asked, looking Kili over. The little dwarf was downcast and seemed slightly unsteady, and Bilbo wondered if he had been being passed from hobbit hole to hobbit hole for the entire time he had been gone (and decided he most probably had). Even after he let Kili go, Kili stood very close to him, and the sound of a child shouting in the distance caused him to start in a way that Bilbo did not like at all.
"Too many hobbits," Bilbo decided. "And too much tea, no doubt. I am sure Jessamine did not think to ask if you liked it or not."
Kili did not reply to this, and Bilbo sighed. "That was not exactly the sort of walk I had in mind," he said.
Kili did make some kind of response to this, but Bilbo could not hear it. "Speak up, my lad," he said, inclining his ear to Kili's mouth.
"Why I must go walk?" Kili said, only slightly louder than before.
"I have already told you why," Bilbo said. "Because it is important for you to make your own choices."
"I not made own choices," Kili said. "Hobbits made choices. It is better not go walk, you can make choices. Your choices are better."
"I cannot make all your choices for you," Bilbo said. "And neither can your brother, before you suggest it. It is just as I have told you: we don't know what it is that you want. No-one knows, except you, which is why you are the only one who can choose."
"Hobbits did know," Kili said. "Why hobbits know, you not know?"
"What hobbits?" Bilbo asked. "The hobbits you met today?" Kili nodded, and Bilbo found himself frowning in confusion. "They did not know," he said. "How could they have known what you want? They do not even know you!"
Kili began to look worried. "They said did know," he said. "J- Jez- Jez-" He stuttered to a stop, and Bilbo hastened to help him.
"Jessamine," he said. "Jessamine said she knew what you wanted?"
Kili nodded quickly. "She did know," he said. "She said this."
"What exactly did she say?" Bilbo asked, trying to imagine what might have led Kili to the conclusion that Jessamine Bolger, of all people, knew what was best for him.
Kili paused a moment, as if working to construct some thought in his mind. "She said I am sure Mr. Kili-" he stopped and frowned in concentration. "I am sure Mr. Kili like come visit me," he finished. "And then she say I am sure you like some tea." He nodded at Bilbo. "She say sure. I am not sure, but she is sure. She know."
"I see," Bilbo said, suppressing a sigh at the appearance of yet another linguistic trap. "Then let me ask you this: did you actually want to visit her and drink tea?"
This question left Kili looking quite confounded. He opened his mouth and closed it again, then frowned and dropped his gaze, apparently happy to look at anything except Bilbo himself. Bilbo waited a moment or two, but when it became clear that an answer to his question was not forthcoming, he patted Kili's arm and started walking up the hill. Kili followed him, and they walked in silence until they reached the gate to Bag End. Here, as Bilbo paused to open it, Kili finally made his reply.
"She said sure," he said. "Sure mean she know. It mean this, yes?"
"I'm afraid it is a little more complicated than that," Bilbo said. "But even if it were not, you must realise that just because someone says they know something does not mean they are right. Especially when they say they know something about how you feel." He pointed at Kili. "So, then, did you want the tea, or not?"
Kili stared at the ground. "No," he said, after a long pause. "I not want tea. I not - not like tea."
"Precisely," Bilbo said. "You do not like tea, and you did not want tea, and you know that but Jessamine does not. If you had been more used to making your own choices, then you would not have had to drink any tea at all. So, do you see why it is so important that you should learn?"
Kili began to look rather sullen. "It is not bad, drink tea," he said. "Not very bad. I can drink." He gave Bilbo a quick, hopeful glance. "I drink tea, I not must go on walk?" he asked.
"Oh dear," said Bilbo. "That is not the point at all!"
Kili's hopeful expression faded, and Bilbo took pity on him, for he still looked quite worn out after all of his visiting. "Well, we will talk about it tomorrow," he said. "Come on, then, let us find your brother before he tears his beard out with worry."
And so that was what they did.