Well I decided to delete my previous stories and make a new one, mainly because my old ones sucked so I hope this one doesn't suck and above all I hope you guys like it (:

On a stormy night in a dark and mysterious forest a brave viking-like dude with a battle axe was fighting a giant fire-breathing dragon which was holding a hot half naked blond princess in its tail.

The mighty dragon formed a fireball and hurled it towards the brown-haired man, but that certain viking was called a dumbass for a reason and he proved it by jumping towards the fireball axe first. Luckily for him but not for the dragon the axe was a magic axe and cut right through the fireball and later through the dragon's neck, but instead of blood out came condoms and candy.

The viking of course caught the fair maiden and landed safely.

"Oh handsome warrior" she said "thank you for saving me is there anyway I could do to repay you"

"Well I can think of some positions...things i meant things" the viking dude said while smiling perversely.

"But we cannot the only condoms here are giant-dragon sized" the blonde chick warned.

"Well they are going to be rather tight but I'm sure i can squeeze in" he said while unzipping his pants.

"Oh come on you're cool and all but I'm sure it can't be that..."at that moment the viking's pants dropped and angels started singing. "BIG" the princess exclaimed.

Then she jumped him and they started making out. The brave viking was about to pork her when...

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Ross Morgan woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. He then groggily took the gun from under his pillow and shot the alarm clock, landing it right in the 'stopped me from banging a viking chick' pile which was next to the 'DAMMIT I was just about to pork an alien chick in gold bikini' pile.

He slowly stood up and went to the bathroom to prepare for the day, but not before he checked the inside of his pants hoping that at least some part of the dream was real. Unfortunately what he saw was far from dragon-sized.
"Dammit" he muttered as he entered the bathroom.

Once he was in he went in front of the mirror, put some shaving cream on, took his battle axe and started shaving. He then sat on the toilet seat and opened the newspaper.

"Let's see. OOOOH interesting 'White Chapel High students mysteriously disappearing' he read"

"HEY ETHAN" he yelled loud enough for Ethan to hear him.

"YEAH?" was Ethan's reply.

"REMEMBER HOW I SAID YOU'RE GOING TO WHITE CHAPEL AWESOME HIGH"

"YUP"

"WELL I CHANGED MY MIND YOU'RE GOING TO WHITE CHAPEL HIGH"

"BUT..."

"NO BUTS YOUNG MAN MY DECISION'S FINAL"

"WELL AT LEAST BENNY'S GOING THERE TOO" and then Ethan stopped yelling.

"Score!" Ross exclaimed "OK two down one to go"

"HEY JANE" he yelled.

"WHAT?" she yelled back

"HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED JOINING HIGH SCHOOL EARLY"

"FUCK YOU DAD"

"Well i tried" Ross muttered and proceeded reading his newspaper. But after a while he got bored so he took his favorite magazine 'Viking chicks weekly' and started looking at the pictures while giggling perversely and occasionally mumbling "DAT AXE"

Back in the Morgan bedroom Samantha Morgan was still sleeping and talking in her sleep.

"Oh yes Mr. Viking fuck me hard in the ass" she mumbled in her sleep, but that wouldn't last long sine Jane just entered the room. "Mommy" she said sweetly while shaking her mom gently.

"Oh yeah I'm gonna cum" she mumbled again. "Oh no you don't" Jane said and proceeded to shake more violently while yelling "MOM"

"Almost there" her mom yelled "That's it! Mom Ethan and Benny making out at 12 o'clock" . Samantha immediately shot up and threw an axe at twelve o'clock. She then saw there was nothing there and hugged Jane tightly. "You scared me there for a sek there dear. You know I can't stand Benethan after that wretched day surfing through fanfics" she started sobbing in her daughter's chest "the mental images will forever be burned in my head"

"There there mom the bad fics are gone. Do you feel better now?" Jane calmed her.

"Yes" Samantha said while wiping her tears away.

"Now will you make me breakfast?"

"Only if you help"

"Fair enough" and they went down and made pancakes. Axe shaped ones of course

At breakfast an interesting conversation was being held.

"So mom you're a dentist right?" Ethan asked.

"Yes dear why?" Samantha asked calmly while taking a bite from her pancake.

"Well I was just curious about WHY THE HELL YOU ALWAYS GO TO WORK DRESSED ONLY IN YOUR UNDERWEAR, AN OVERSIZED COAT AND A PAIR OF FUCKING GUNS" Ethan said while pointing accusingly at his mother who was indeed only wearing her underwear and a coat.

Samantha meanwhile stood there calmly and ate her breakfast "First of all they're not guns they're um... boxes in which I, uh ,carry my...dentist...stuff? And oh look it's 7:57" she said.

"7:57!SHIT I'M GONNA MISS MY MORNING FAPPING SESSION" After that Ethan quickly finished his breakfast and raced up the stairs towards his room.

"Whew that was close" Samantha thought "...he mustn't know".

Flashback

Ross Morgan had recently started in the Insurance business but he needed something to give him an edge above the others...which is why he was currently looking through a female assassins for hire magazine to hire someone to cut down the competition...AND HE WAS ENJOYING EVERY FREAKING SECOND OF IT.

"Wait this one can use an axe, dresses only in her underwear and a coat AND can cook axe-shaped pancakes" he then quickly dialed the number and yelled "YOU'RE HIRED"

"Got it hot stuff I'll come by tomorrow" that was Samantha's reply.

And the rest is history.

Flashback End

Samantha sighed at her nice memories. She was about to get up and put her dish in the sink when she heard a knock on the door. She went towards the door with Ross and Jane in tow and opened it to see horror itself...

Otherwise known as Jessie dressed as a girl-scout.

"I hate my life" Jessie muttered as he stared at their shocked (and disturbed) faces.

Cliffhanger. Why is Jessie dressed like a girl scout? Will Ethan's Morning Fapping Session be successful or was he too late? Toon in next time to find out.