He liked clouds. He had always liked clouds. The way they were slowly moving across the blue sky, the way they were dependable and always there, waiting for him. He had always enjoyed lying in the grass, looking up at the clouds, smiling as they took different shapes and in his head he started to imagine the craziest things. He liked the way they just adjusted to what his mind wanted and how they always seemed to understand him, something no one else seemed to do.

Sometimes someone would lie beside him; usually it was Grandromeda or Harry, but they didn't know that he liked it best when he was alone. Then he didn't need to answer the annoying question "What do you see?", because his clouds were never shaped in a sane and normal way, so when he pointed up at the sky, desperately trying to explain how he saw the half duck, half dragon in the biggest cloud, he felt like he wanted to disappear into the ground underneath him. Sometimes he'd just be quiet and close his eyes; maybe he could fool them into believing he was sleeping.

He liked the blue color the sky had. He could make his hair that exact color, and somehow it was the look he liked the best. It would drive Grandromeda crazy when he wouldn't change it to something more normal; he wouldn't even to events like weddings and big Birthday parties. He liked the sky itself too, the color was comforting to him, and the feeling of it being never ending made him feel small; something he actually liked. He could watch the sky and the clouds for hours, making both Grandromeda and Harry frustrated and worrisome. But Teddy wasn't something to worry about.

He was just looking up at his parents.

He liked the clouds, because he had always hoped they would shape into his mummy and daddy's faces, and maybe, maybe if he used enough imagination, they would speak to him; tell him they were proud of him, that they missed him and that they were soon coming home. That was why Teddy always would look up at the sky, and watch the shapes change and change back. He was waiting. He was a boy of great patience when it came to clouds, and he would never give up on the small hope that the biggest, brightest, cleanest cloud would change into the shape of his parents.

It never did. But he didn't let go of his hopes.

And somehow it seemed like he didn't really think his parents were gone. It seemed like he wouldn't believe that the two people who were always supposed to love him, to be there for him, actually weren't alive. And even though Harry and Ginny never failed to tell him they loved him greatly, it wasn't enough for little Teddy.

Years passed, and soon he found himself being too busy to look at clouds. But he would always sneak out a look through the window at Hogwarts when he sat with his head in his hand in "History of Magic", waiting and waiting for something he knew deep down wouldn't come. He never lost faith, because Ginny had told him once that 'if you ever give up on your biggest dream, you might just give up on your life'. From the time he was six years old, until the time he was sixteen, he would think about that and hope that she was right. She had always had wise things to say to him when he needed it.

But, when he had just turned seventeen and was lying in the grass underneath a big tree by the lake at Hogwarts, looking up at the familiar essence of white and blue; he said, "Mum, Dad. I know you're gone. I've accepted it now. I'm not waiting for you anymore." His heart broke. Because he hadn't just told someone this. He hadn't just spoken to someone, he had spoken to the wind or the trees or even the goddamned sky, but he hadn't just spoken to a human being. He knew his parents were dead. And he had known, for quite a while. So this was the end of his childhood, he felt. He was starting his last year of his education; he was growing up. There was no reason for him to believe something so silly anymore; clouds were for babies. He decided to never look at a single shape shifting cloud again.

He laid in the grass for quite some time. It was a warm day in the beginning of September - he didn't really have homework yet, so nothing was pressuring him – the wind stayed warm, and the sun wouldn't hide behind the trees for several hours; he could lie there for as long as he wanted. He started clearing his head so that he could fall asleep, when he heard something beside him.

He swiftly turned his head to the right and spotted a pair of black shoes he knew almost too well. "Victorie." He breathed. His head went back into the position of looking at the heavens, but he closed his eyes since there were still clouds there. "What're you doing here?"

She laughed a sarcastic laugh and said "I know it seems a bit strange for you, but I'm usually genuinely concerned when someone's just lying on the ground for several hours, not moving."

"Oh."

"Yeah oh." She muttered. She lowered herself to the ground and sat down at his head. Though her face expression was still angry and sarcastic, her eyes were worried and wanted the truth. She was worried about her best friend. "Tell me the truth, Teddy. For once, please." She was nearly begging, her mood changing so fast that Teddy snorted.

"I've just given up on a lifelong dream; I'd like to be alone with my misery, thanks." His voice was drained from any emotion when he dismissed her. And you'd think he would know this girl whom he'd grown up with.

"Ted Remus Lupin!" She said furiously, slapping his arm several times to get him to sit up and look her in the eyes. He let out a weak 'ow', before doing what she was forcing him to do; he knew she meant business when she used his full name – she and Ginny were really the only ones who ever used his full name in any kind of situation -, and he would never dare to stand up to her then.

"Vic, this really isn't anything you should be worried about."

Her face was made into something that looked like she thought he'd gone mental, and she said with her most 'this is really quite obvious'- voice "Yeah. I should be worried." She made her facial expression soften a little bit when she continued, "I know why you look at clouds, Teddy."

Somehow, he wasn't surprised. First, because Victorie had this amazing ability to know everything about him, and second, because he hadn't ever actually tried to hide his small obsession. But still, he had never told anyone how he felt about his parent's death. He raised his eyebrow at her, forcing her to explain.

"You talk in your sleep, you git." She replied; never easing with the love-filled insults. "You always talk about your Mum and Dad when you sleep lightly, and you mention the words sky, white and blue quite often. I can put together two and two."

He could feel his ears being filled with blood; he was surprised because he was never the one to get flustered. "So that's the case."

She nodded. "Yeah."

They sat in silence for a moment. Victorie looked like she was bottling up her feelings and her words, because she started acting restless; like she was holding in on something that she knew she shouldn't say but really wanted to. She grabbed his hand – something she wasn't afraid doing, he'd noticed – and asked slowly, like he was a young child "Can I say something?"

"I can't see why. You always say what you want anyway." He chuckled, but gripped onto her hand like it was a lifeline. He had an idea of what might come from her lips in just a moment.

"You… I know, Teddy. I know it's hard for you to be without them, I would be searching the skies too if I were you, and I wouldn't stop doing it because I've gotten some sense knocked into my head. This is your thing, and if you stop doing it, then you give up on yourself and them." She made a slight nod to the heavens, making Teddy look up, straight at a cloud. He looked away. "Please, don't stop. Just because you have realized they're not coming back you don't have to stop doing what you've always-"

"Honestly, I don't see the point!" He interrupted her, letting go of her hand. "It was a silly thing to begin with and now I'm just going to stop doing it."

"Don't, Teddy. This little act, this thing with you and the clouds; it's who, you, are." She emphasized the last words almost too much; it was like she tried to make them sink into him. "You need the clouds. You always have."

She lifted her hand and let her fingers slid down his cheek, before she pulled herself up and walked away. She knew exactly what she was doing; she had learned over the years that leaving him alone with his thought was a good thing.

He looked at her backside as it became smaller and smaller for every step further away from him she took, and he sighed a deep sigh, filling his lungs until it was almost painful. He knew she was right.

He laid down in the grass again, but kept his eyes closed. 'This is stupid. And silly. This is stupid and silly and I have no idea why I'm doing it.', his mind was flashing with words and sentences, all telling him pretty much the same thing; you're a prat.

He opened one eye, squinting at the world above him. White and blue. As usual. Nothing had changed. He opened the other eye, and it was almost physically painful to break his promise to himself. He felt his head protesting, telling him to close his eyes again. Look away. Anything.

But he didn't. Instead, he linked his fingers together under his head and started to watch the biggest, brightest, cleanest cloud shape into something that looked an awful lot like two faces…

Yes. It's after midnight. Do you mind?

So, I got this idea after watching my little cousin look at the sky. I asked him why he was doing it and he just told me "I'm looking for Grandpa."

I hope you enjoyed this little story.

/Kajsa