A/N: This idea came to me in a Saint Seiya chat room. Everyone was role
playing, myself included, and someone who wasn't playing a Gold Saint said
we needed therapy, with a few exceptions (I'm not gonna tell you who I
play, just that I am one of said exceptions. :P). Well, as I pondered a way
to make my fic come together, using events from the game, I just happened
to be swept to the bowling ally where all my ideas fell into place. Thanks
to all my friends-RPers and real life-for the inspiration to write this.
^_^ Rated PG-13 for mild nudity, just to be safe. Some out-of-
characterness-what do you expect, they're in therapy? Enjoy.
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"WHAT!? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Saori Kido, also known as the Goddess, Athena, stood infront of a group of flabberghasted young men. "Athena-Sama, please", Saga pleaded, trying to make the 13-year-old Goddess see sense. "Please. We don't need therapy!". "The hell you lot don't!", Dohko, the old man standing beside Athena said "I can't sleep at night! You're all crazy, with the possible exceptions of Aldebarran, Mu, and Aiolia. Oh, and Shaka, he sleeps through the night.". "Huh? What's *yawn* going on?", Shaka asked. He'd been sleeping on the floor. "Oh. Dohko-Sempai asked Athena-Sama to send us to group therapy", Aphrodite said calmly, checking his appearance in his compact mirror.
"Sempai-", Aiolia started. "No, let them all kill eachother", Dohko replied. Deathmask, Saga, Camus, Milo, and Shura were fighting over something. "Down", Mu said softly, setting a crystal wall around them to avoid being hit with an attack. Unfortunately, there was one person Mu's wall did not sheild-Aphrodite, who was sitting innocently in the cornor, putting on mascara."WHY YOU!!", Aphrodite yelled, leaping to his feet, mascara smeared down his left cheek. "ORDER!!!!", Athena screamed, stepping into the middle of the fray. Aphrodite stopped running. The five brawling saints stopped and looked at the girl. "Dohko is right! You all need help!", Athena cried. Mu, Shaka, Aldebarran, and Aiolia cautiously peeked out from behind the crystal wall. "You're all going in for therapy, starting this evening. I want all ten of you to go here!". Athena handed Aiolia a card with an address on it. "All ten of us?", Shaka asked. "Yes. You four are going, too!", Athena cried. She and Dohko left the room, leaving the ten saints standing there, very confused. _______________________________________________________________________
"Well...here's the place...", Shaka said, blinking in confusion. "Great, you got us lost!", Saga accused. "No, this is the correct place, allright", Mu said, gazing at the address on the card. "It's a...bowling ally", Deathmask stammered, too confused to think of anything snide to say. "I believe it is safe to say the princess has lost her mind", Milo said, opening the door and letting the others go in ahead of him. "HI!!", a loud, cheerful voice sang. Camus screamed and jumped, bumping into Milo and falling with a thud to the ground. A strange-looking man stood infront of the bewildered group. "I'm Dr. Roobabega. I hear you all need therapy". "In a bowling ally?", Mu asked, raising a slender pink eyebrow at the crazy man. "All in due time, child!", Roobabega exclaimed brightly, clapping Mu on the shoulder so hard he fell over. Mu and Camus got back to their feet, grumbling. "Follow me, if you please", Roobabega said, guiding them to a table. The saints followed, casting nervous glances at eachother.
"Sit", Roobabega said, gesturing for them to take seats around a large table. "Now, I want you all to stand up in turn and say your name, your age, and your problem". Aiolia's eyebrows rose. "Let's start with you, then, since you volunteered". Aiolia rolled his eyes and stood up. "My name is Aiolia, I'm 20 years old, and my only problem is being stuck here today!". The other nine saints clapped as Aiolia reclaimed his seat. Aldebaran stood up next (the four sane people sat themselves together). "Aldebaran, twenty, no problems". Applause. He took his seat quickly. "I'm Mu, I'm 19 years old. Uh...I have pink hair?". Applause. He shrugged and sat down, thinking himself perfectly sane. Zzzzzzz. "Shaka!", Mu cried, elbowing his friend. Shaka opened his eyes blearilly. "Shaka. 20 years old. I like to sleep". HERE HERE!!. "I'm Milo. I'm 19, and I like to poke things". Applause. "Camus. 20 years old, I like to freeze people". Applause. "I'm Deathmask. I'm 23, and I like to kill people". He smiled at Roobabega as he sat back down. No applause followed, for his peers were too busy stareing at him. "Next, please", Roobabega said after ten minutes, motioning to Shura. "I'm Shura, I'm 23, and I'm unique". "You're INSANE!", Camus roared. "UNIQUE!! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!". Applause. Shura sat down and Aphrodite stood up. "My name is Aphrodite, I'm twenty two, and I guess I may care about how I look too much-Stop staring, pervert!". Aphrodite crossed his arms over his chest and took his seat again. Everyone clapped. Roobabega snapped out of his trance and smiled at Saga. "Last but not least". Saga got shyly to his feet. "Hi. I'm Saga. I'm twenty eight years old. Sometimes I feel like my dark side is gonna kill everyone important to me." No applause. Silence. Then Roobabega smiled. "Now that's that done, let's get bowling!". The group stared at him and sweatdropped.
"The rules are simple", Roobabega said, grinning. "You're all going to get up when it's your turn and bowl. But, before you do, you have to tell us more about about your problem. Aiolia, if you'd be so kind". The curly- haired man got to his feet and picked up a bowling ball. "I allready told you, I don't have a problem". He bowled the ball, managing to land the ball into the gutter. "Other than I really suck at bowling". As though to prove his point, Aiolia's second ball veered straight across the lane, into the opposite gutter. Aiolia cheered as though he'd managed to get a strike and crossed back over to the group. Aldebaran stood up. He didn't say a word as he picked his ball up and sent it down the lane. Strike. He smiled as he took his seat again. Mu brushed back his hair and picked up a ball. "I'm with Aiolia. No problems here.". He managed to hit all the pins except three, which he missed again on his second attempt. Shaka got up, rubbed his eyes, and picked up a bright neon orange ball. Everyone laughed at it. "My problem is the color of my ball", Shaka said, smiling as he proceeded to throw the ball like you would chuck a boulder. There was a thunk as Shaka's ball collided with the ground. It spluttered down the lane at odd angles, somehow managing to straighten itself near the pins. Strike. The group sweatdropped.
Milo got up and grabbed a blue ball. "It's fun to poke people". He outstretched his index finger and chased Aphrodite around, trying to poke him. "NO!!! STOP!! GET AWAY!", Aphrodite yelled. They ran all the way around the bowling ally before Milo caught up with Aphrodite and poked him. Milo returned, grinning broadly, and bowled. He got a spare and groaned. "How the heck am I supposed to hit those!?", he asked. "It's hard, but you can do it", Shura replied. Or not. Milo's ball went into the gutter and it was Camus's turn. "Diamond Dust!", he cheered, as the lane turned to ice. The ball slid easilly down the lane-right into the gutter. Camus tried again, managing a strike the second time. Roobabega moved them to another lane to finish the game.
Unfortunately, there were some people near by in the next lane they went to. Also, unfortunately, Deathmask wanted to kill these people for their stupid bowling movements. Somehow Saga had made him promise not to kill anyone, bowl, get a strike, and sit back down. Shura proved his "uniqueness" by throwing the ball into the air and trying to palm it vollyball style. Well, it worked, other than Shura's hand was probably broken after that. The ball smashed into the large sign over their lane that proclaimed "lane twenty",rolled down the wall, flopped back-and somehow landed perfectly even with the pins. A strike. Aphrodite got up, shook back his perfect hair, and gingerly wrapped his feminine hands around the ball."I don't want to break a nail.", he whispered. He put the ball down and kicked it. The ball rolled down the lane so slow it looked like it was going to stop before it reached the pins. At the last minute, the ball gained speed. Strike. Saga's turn now. He declared that his dark side wanted to destroy everyone if he didn't make a strike. He bowled in the normal fashion. Everyone held their breath. Strike! They were safe for now!
The game proceeded as such, Roobabega growing more and more concerned for his life. "How foolish I've been", Aiolia declaired on his last turn, watching the bowlers in the next lane over. "You have to do stupid movements before you bowl!" He grabbed his ball, went back, ran at the lane, jumped, landed on one foot, and fell flat on his face. The ball rolled out of his hands. "Owie", Aiolia moaned, sitting up just in time to see his first strike (and first hit of any pins the whole game). He jumped up, cheering and dancing like crazy. "You have to bowl again", Shura said. "Huh?", Aiolia stared at Shura. "If you hit all the pins the last game, you have to bowl again.". The curly-haired man sighed and repeated his earlier stratagy. Again he fell on his face, and again he got a strike, leaving his grand total at an astounding twenty points. Roobabega peeked out from under the table. "Very nice". And so it continued, rather uneventfully, until it was Shura's turn to finish the game. He'd been bowling the whole game volly- ball style, landing strikes every time, and planned to finish it that way. Unfortunately, the wall had had enough, and when Shura's ball colided with it, it flew through, leaving a nice view of the darkened sky outside. Shura shruged and bowled in normal fashion. One pin. He bowled again. One pin. He cursed. Roobabega looked ready to cry. Somehow, he managed to keep control- he drew a deep breath and smiled at Aphrodite. "Go ahead".
Aphrodite picked up the ball and set it down to kick it again. "NO!!", Roobabega shouted. "No", he repeated gentler when Aphrodite stared at him with frightened eyes. He had no idea what this crazy man was gonna do to him. "Bowl the normal way, please". Aphrodite's wide eyes grew wider. "No! I'll break a nail!", he gasped, stareing at his perfectly manicured hands. "I promise you won't. Just please bowl normally", Roobabega pleaded. Aphrodite relented and stuck his fingers into the holes. A scream echoed through the bowling ally as Aphrodite withdrew his hand. His pinkie nail had broken off. "My nail! MY NAIL!", he shrieked. He was too upset to finish, so Deathmask grabbed Aphrodite's ball and chucked it down the lane. Gutter ball. Deathmask didn't even bother to do anything the next time. He simply placed the ball in the gutter and rolled it down. Saga sweatdropped and went to finish his game. It was the first time he didn't get a strike the whole game-infact, he didn't manage to hit the single pin still standing the second time. The game was over. Saga's eyes went strangely blank, then switched from their normal green to a pale, translusent red. "I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!", he screamed, jumping on a table and laughing like a maniac. "EVERYONE NOT IN MY THERAPY GROUP CLEAR OUT NOW!!", Roobabega shouted.
Ten minutes later, all the saints were seated at the tale again. Saga was tied to his chair, still jittering and laughing. "Hey, Saga. Want a cookie?", Milo asked, waving a box infront of him. Saga nodded. "You have to calm down and let the good side take over again". "NEVER!!", Saga shouted. "Then no cookies". "I'm bringing out pizza and drinks. Saga, if you don't calm down, I'm afraid I can't untie you to let you eat", Roobabega said. "He's certainly brave now with Saga tied down.", Shaka whispered. "Of course", Camus said. "He's not the one who nearly died getting Saga back into his chair". This was quite true. While the other saints were chasing after crazed Saga, Roobabega had been hiding under a table, screaming that he was gonna die and that he wanted his mother. "I think he's calming down", Shura observed. "Because we didn't let you use your idea", Aiolia commented, suppressing a smile. Shura's idea for trapping Saga and calming him down had included, but was not limited to, scaleing the ceiling, dropping a net on Saga mid-run, wrapping him up in it, and hog-tying him. When Mu had asked how they were gonna get on the ceiling, Shura had suggested piling up tables. 'Well, if it makes you feel any better, Saga, you still won the game", Aiolia told him, approaching him cautiously. "I did?" "Yeah, you won". Saga's eyes went blank again and returned to their original green color. "Can I untie you, or are you gonna kill me?", Aiolia asked. "Why would I want to kill you, Aiolia?", Saga replied in a serene, non-crazed voice. "If you try anything, I'm gonna kill you.", Deathmask threatened. "Untie him".
Roobabega returned with the pizza not too long after Saga proved to be back to normal. "Now, I want us all to talk. Get your problems off your chest. It's OK", he said, setting the pizza down on the table. They ate in silence for a while, no one seeming to have anything to say-then-"Aiolia's afraid of clowns", Deathmask said, smirking as he ripped into his third slice of pizza. "Clowns?". Aldebarran lifted his eyebrow at the choking man. "You just had to tell them, didn't you, Death?", Aiolia gasped. Roobabega's ears perked up. "Clowns. Let's hear this story". He put his pen to his writing pad. Aiolia glared at Deathmask. "I don't want to", he said firmly. "Ah, well you're in therapy. You have no choice. Your fear of clowns might be the cause of your mental problems", Roobabega said. Aiolia's face flushed bright red. "I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS!!". Roobabega smiled sweetly at him. "Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery". Aiolia looked about ready to explode. "Ok, fine. When I was five, my older brother, Aiolos, took me to a circus, and the clown killed this elephant...I cried over the elephant for two weeks. You happy now!?". The rest of the group stared at him. Then Deathmask started laughing hysterically. "What about you, Mr. Underwear Fettish!?", Aiolia snapped at him. Deathmask stopped laughing. "Why you!!". He was about to leap at the younger man, but was held back by Roobabega's restraining hand. "Spill.". Deathmask flushed and he looked at his feet. "Iamanudist" he said in one breath. "What?", the crazy therapist asked. "I-AM-A-NUDIST!! I LIKE TO RUN AROUND NAKED!!", Deathmask shouted. As though to prove his point, he stripped off his clothes except for his underwear and ran around the bowling ally. People screamed and threw things at him. A few seconds later, Deathmask returned to the group, covered in soda, ice cream, soggy pizza, and other bits of food and pulled his clothes back on. Roobabega sweatdropped.
"He wanders around our temples like that late at night", Saga complained. Roobabega's gaze turned to the oldest member of the group. "What do you stand for?", he asked. Saga smiled. "I love justice and peace *DEATH, DESTRUCTION, MASS CHAOS!!*". Roobabega stared at him. "Oh, look, a butterfly", Saga said, pointing. "It makes me feel warm inside. I want to *SMASH IT SMASH IT SMASH IT!!*". The therapist shook his head and wrote "Skitzophrenic" next to Saga's name. Then he turned to Aphrodite, who was stareing at his hands, still whimpering about his broken nail. "It's just a nail, dear". Aphrodite growled at him. "IT IS NOT JUST A NAIL!!! BEAUTY MEANS PERFECT HAIR!! FLAWLESS SKIN!! AND EVEN NAILS!!!". Aphrodite continued to rant and rave about how beautiful he was and how his nails reflected his beauty. Roobabega groaned and wrote "Narcisist" besides Aphrodite's name. He was about to move on to Milo, when he realized everyone was fighting and yelling at eachother. "STOP IT! STOP!", Mu was screaming, trying to get the fighting Saints to quit their brawl. Too late. "EVERYONE!! GET DOWN!!!", Aiolia screamed. Various attacks hit the bowling ally walls and ceilings. A rumbling was heard. "THE CEILING!!", Shaka yelled, gazing up. They all dashed out of bowling ally. They got out just in time to see the bowling ally collapse to the ground. "I guess we still need mental help?", Shura asked hesitantly. Roobabega cried. _______________________________________________________________________
"So, how did therapy go?", Saori asked as the ten disgruntled young men walked back to Sanctuary. "Don't ask", Aiolia moaned. "Here's the bill for today's session", Saga added, handing the girl the bill. Saori looked at it and screamed. "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN, YOU DESTROYED THE BOWLING ALLY!?". "Just that. We destroyed the bowling ally", Shura replied. Saori fainted. "Come on, let's get out of here before she wakes up!", Shura pushed the others ahead of him. "I wonder what was on the note he gave me", Aphrodite said, opening up a piece of paper. On it was written "Call Me" with a messy phone number scribbled under it. Aphrodite growled and crumpled up the paper, tossing it ontop of Saori's unconscious figure. "Stop it! Stop laughing!", he cried.
THE END-or is it? Dum dum dum
"WHAT!? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Saori Kido, also known as the Goddess, Athena, stood infront of a group of flabberghasted young men. "Athena-Sama, please", Saga pleaded, trying to make the 13-year-old Goddess see sense. "Please. We don't need therapy!". "The hell you lot don't!", Dohko, the old man standing beside Athena said "I can't sleep at night! You're all crazy, with the possible exceptions of Aldebarran, Mu, and Aiolia. Oh, and Shaka, he sleeps through the night.". "Huh? What's *yawn* going on?", Shaka asked. He'd been sleeping on the floor. "Oh. Dohko-Sempai asked Athena-Sama to send us to group therapy", Aphrodite said calmly, checking his appearance in his compact mirror.
"Sempai-", Aiolia started. "No, let them all kill eachother", Dohko replied. Deathmask, Saga, Camus, Milo, and Shura were fighting over something. "Down", Mu said softly, setting a crystal wall around them to avoid being hit with an attack. Unfortunately, there was one person Mu's wall did not sheild-Aphrodite, who was sitting innocently in the cornor, putting on mascara."WHY YOU!!", Aphrodite yelled, leaping to his feet, mascara smeared down his left cheek. "ORDER!!!!", Athena screamed, stepping into the middle of the fray. Aphrodite stopped running. The five brawling saints stopped and looked at the girl. "Dohko is right! You all need help!", Athena cried. Mu, Shaka, Aldebarran, and Aiolia cautiously peeked out from behind the crystal wall. "You're all going in for therapy, starting this evening. I want all ten of you to go here!". Athena handed Aiolia a card with an address on it. "All ten of us?", Shaka asked. "Yes. You four are going, too!", Athena cried. She and Dohko left the room, leaving the ten saints standing there, very confused. _______________________________________________________________________
"Well...here's the place...", Shaka said, blinking in confusion. "Great, you got us lost!", Saga accused. "No, this is the correct place, allright", Mu said, gazing at the address on the card. "It's a...bowling ally", Deathmask stammered, too confused to think of anything snide to say. "I believe it is safe to say the princess has lost her mind", Milo said, opening the door and letting the others go in ahead of him. "HI!!", a loud, cheerful voice sang. Camus screamed and jumped, bumping into Milo and falling with a thud to the ground. A strange-looking man stood infront of the bewildered group. "I'm Dr. Roobabega. I hear you all need therapy". "In a bowling ally?", Mu asked, raising a slender pink eyebrow at the crazy man. "All in due time, child!", Roobabega exclaimed brightly, clapping Mu on the shoulder so hard he fell over. Mu and Camus got back to their feet, grumbling. "Follow me, if you please", Roobabega said, guiding them to a table. The saints followed, casting nervous glances at eachother.
"Sit", Roobabega said, gesturing for them to take seats around a large table. "Now, I want you all to stand up in turn and say your name, your age, and your problem". Aiolia's eyebrows rose. "Let's start with you, then, since you volunteered". Aiolia rolled his eyes and stood up. "My name is Aiolia, I'm 20 years old, and my only problem is being stuck here today!". The other nine saints clapped as Aiolia reclaimed his seat. Aldebaran stood up next (the four sane people sat themselves together). "Aldebaran, twenty, no problems". Applause. He took his seat quickly. "I'm Mu, I'm 19 years old. Uh...I have pink hair?". Applause. He shrugged and sat down, thinking himself perfectly sane. Zzzzzzz. "Shaka!", Mu cried, elbowing his friend. Shaka opened his eyes blearilly. "Shaka. 20 years old. I like to sleep". HERE HERE!!. "I'm Milo. I'm 19, and I like to poke things". Applause. "Camus. 20 years old, I like to freeze people". Applause. "I'm Deathmask. I'm 23, and I like to kill people". He smiled at Roobabega as he sat back down. No applause followed, for his peers were too busy stareing at him. "Next, please", Roobabega said after ten minutes, motioning to Shura. "I'm Shura, I'm 23, and I'm unique". "You're INSANE!", Camus roared. "UNIQUE!! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!". Applause. Shura sat down and Aphrodite stood up. "My name is Aphrodite, I'm twenty two, and I guess I may care about how I look too much-Stop staring, pervert!". Aphrodite crossed his arms over his chest and took his seat again. Everyone clapped. Roobabega snapped out of his trance and smiled at Saga. "Last but not least". Saga got shyly to his feet. "Hi. I'm Saga. I'm twenty eight years old. Sometimes I feel like my dark side is gonna kill everyone important to me." No applause. Silence. Then Roobabega smiled. "Now that's that done, let's get bowling!". The group stared at him and sweatdropped.
"The rules are simple", Roobabega said, grinning. "You're all going to get up when it's your turn and bowl. But, before you do, you have to tell us more about about your problem. Aiolia, if you'd be so kind". The curly- haired man got to his feet and picked up a bowling ball. "I allready told you, I don't have a problem". He bowled the ball, managing to land the ball into the gutter. "Other than I really suck at bowling". As though to prove his point, Aiolia's second ball veered straight across the lane, into the opposite gutter. Aiolia cheered as though he'd managed to get a strike and crossed back over to the group. Aldebaran stood up. He didn't say a word as he picked his ball up and sent it down the lane. Strike. He smiled as he took his seat again. Mu brushed back his hair and picked up a ball. "I'm with Aiolia. No problems here.". He managed to hit all the pins except three, which he missed again on his second attempt. Shaka got up, rubbed his eyes, and picked up a bright neon orange ball. Everyone laughed at it. "My problem is the color of my ball", Shaka said, smiling as he proceeded to throw the ball like you would chuck a boulder. There was a thunk as Shaka's ball collided with the ground. It spluttered down the lane at odd angles, somehow managing to straighten itself near the pins. Strike. The group sweatdropped.
Milo got up and grabbed a blue ball. "It's fun to poke people". He outstretched his index finger and chased Aphrodite around, trying to poke him. "NO!!! STOP!! GET AWAY!", Aphrodite yelled. They ran all the way around the bowling ally before Milo caught up with Aphrodite and poked him. Milo returned, grinning broadly, and bowled. He got a spare and groaned. "How the heck am I supposed to hit those!?", he asked. "It's hard, but you can do it", Shura replied. Or not. Milo's ball went into the gutter and it was Camus's turn. "Diamond Dust!", he cheered, as the lane turned to ice. The ball slid easilly down the lane-right into the gutter. Camus tried again, managing a strike the second time. Roobabega moved them to another lane to finish the game.
Unfortunately, there were some people near by in the next lane they went to. Also, unfortunately, Deathmask wanted to kill these people for their stupid bowling movements. Somehow Saga had made him promise not to kill anyone, bowl, get a strike, and sit back down. Shura proved his "uniqueness" by throwing the ball into the air and trying to palm it vollyball style. Well, it worked, other than Shura's hand was probably broken after that. The ball smashed into the large sign over their lane that proclaimed "lane twenty",rolled down the wall, flopped back-and somehow landed perfectly even with the pins. A strike. Aphrodite got up, shook back his perfect hair, and gingerly wrapped his feminine hands around the ball."I don't want to break a nail.", he whispered. He put the ball down and kicked it. The ball rolled down the lane so slow it looked like it was going to stop before it reached the pins. At the last minute, the ball gained speed. Strike. Saga's turn now. He declared that his dark side wanted to destroy everyone if he didn't make a strike. He bowled in the normal fashion. Everyone held their breath. Strike! They were safe for now!
The game proceeded as such, Roobabega growing more and more concerned for his life. "How foolish I've been", Aiolia declaired on his last turn, watching the bowlers in the next lane over. "You have to do stupid movements before you bowl!" He grabbed his ball, went back, ran at the lane, jumped, landed on one foot, and fell flat on his face. The ball rolled out of his hands. "Owie", Aiolia moaned, sitting up just in time to see his first strike (and first hit of any pins the whole game). He jumped up, cheering and dancing like crazy. "You have to bowl again", Shura said. "Huh?", Aiolia stared at Shura. "If you hit all the pins the last game, you have to bowl again.". The curly-haired man sighed and repeated his earlier stratagy. Again he fell on his face, and again he got a strike, leaving his grand total at an astounding twenty points. Roobabega peeked out from under the table. "Very nice". And so it continued, rather uneventfully, until it was Shura's turn to finish the game. He'd been bowling the whole game volly- ball style, landing strikes every time, and planned to finish it that way. Unfortunately, the wall had had enough, and when Shura's ball colided with it, it flew through, leaving a nice view of the darkened sky outside. Shura shruged and bowled in normal fashion. One pin. He bowled again. One pin. He cursed. Roobabega looked ready to cry. Somehow, he managed to keep control- he drew a deep breath and smiled at Aphrodite. "Go ahead".
Aphrodite picked up the ball and set it down to kick it again. "NO!!", Roobabega shouted. "No", he repeated gentler when Aphrodite stared at him with frightened eyes. He had no idea what this crazy man was gonna do to him. "Bowl the normal way, please". Aphrodite's wide eyes grew wider. "No! I'll break a nail!", he gasped, stareing at his perfectly manicured hands. "I promise you won't. Just please bowl normally", Roobabega pleaded. Aphrodite relented and stuck his fingers into the holes. A scream echoed through the bowling ally as Aphrodite withdrew his hand. His pinkie nail had broken off. "My nail! MY NAIL!", he shrieked. He was too upset to finish, so Deathmask grabbed Aphrodite's ball and chucked it down the lane. Gutter ball. Deathmask didn't even bother to do anything the next time. He simply placed the ball in the gutter and rolled it down. Saga sweatdropped and went to finish his game. It was the first time he didn't get a strike the whole game-infact, he didn't manage to hit the single pin still standing the second time. The game was over. Saga's eyes went strangely blank, then switched from their normal green to a pale, translusent red. "I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!", he screamed, jumping on a table and laughing like a maniac. "EVERYONE NOT IN MY THERAPY GROUP CLEAR OUT NOW!!", Roobabega shouted.
Ten minutes later, all the saints were seated at the tale again. Saga was tied to his chair, still jittering and laughing. "Hey, Saga. Want a cookie?", Milo asked, waving a box infront of him. Saga nodded. "You have to calm down and let the good side take over again". "NEVER!!", Saga shouted. "Then no cookies". "I'm bringing out pizza and drinks. Saga, if you don't calm down, I'm afraid I can't untie you to let you eat", Roobabega said. "He's certainly brave now with Saga tied down.", Shaka whispered. "Of course", Camus said. "He's not the one who nearly died getting Saga back into his chair". This was quite true. While the other saints were chasing after crazed Saga, Roobabega had been hiding under a table, screaming that he was gonna die and that he wanted his mother. "I think he's calming down", Shura observed. "Because we didn't let you use your idea", Aiolia commented, suppressing a smile. Shura's idea for trapping Saga and calming him down had included, but was not limited to, scaleing the ceiling, dropping a net on Saga mid-run, wrapping him up in it, and hog-tying him. When Mu had asked how they were gonna get on the ceiling, Shura had suggested piling up tables. 'Well, if it makes you feel any better, Saga, you still won the game", Aiolia told him, approaching him cautiously. "I did?" "Yeah, you won". Saga's eyes went blank again and returned to their original green color. "Can I untie you, or are you gonna kill me?", Aiolia asked. "Why would I want to kill you, Aiolia?", Saga replied in a serene, non-crazed voice. "If you try anything, I'm gonna kill you.", Deathmask threatened. "Untie him".
Roobabega returned with the pizza not too long after Saga proved to be back to normal. "Now, I want us all to talk. Get your problems off your chest. It's OK", he said, setting the pizza down on the table. They ate in silence for a while, no one seeming to have anything to say-then-"Aiolia's afraid of clowns", Deathmask said, smirking as he ripped into his third slice of pizza. "Clowns?". Aldebarran lifted his eyebrow at the choking man. "You just had to tell them, didn't you, Death?", Aiolia gasped. Roobabega's ears perked up. "Clowns. Let's hear this story". He put his pen to his writing pad. Aiolia glared at Deathmask. "I don't want to", he said firmly. "Ah, well you're in therapy. You have no choice. Your fear of clowns might be the cause of your mental problems", Roobabega said. Aiolia's face flushed bright red. "I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS!!". Roobabega smiled sweetly at him. "Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery". Aiolia looked about ready to explode. "Ok, fine. When I was five, my older brother, Aiolos, took me to a circus, and the clown killed this elephant...I cried over the elephant for two weeks. You happy now!?". The rest of the group stared at him. Then Deathmask started laughing hysterically. "What about you, Mr. Underwear Fettish!?", Aiolia snapped at him. Deathmask stopped laughing. "Why you!!". He was about to leap at the younger man, but was held back by Roobabega's restraining hand. "Spill.". Deathmask flushed and he looked at his feet. "Iamanudist" he said in one breath. "What?", the crazy therapist asked. "I-AM-A-NUDIST!! I LIKE TO RUN AROUND NAKED!!", Deathmask shouted. As though to prove his point, he stripped off his clothes except for his underwear and ran around the bowling ally. People screamed and threw things at him. A few seconds later, Deathmask returned to the group, covered in soda, ice cream, soggy pizza, and other bits of food and pulled his clothes back on. Roobabega sweatdropped.
"He wanders around our temples like that late at night", Saga complained. Roobabega's gaze turned to the oldest member of the group. "What do you stand for?", he asked. Saga smiled. "I love justice and peace *DEATH, DESTRUCTION, MASS CHAOS!!*". Roobabega stared at him. "Oh, look, a butterfly", Saga said, pointing. "It makes me feel warm inside. I want to *SMASH IT SMASH IT SMASH IT!!*". The therapist shook his head and wrote "Skitzophrenic" next to Saga's name. Then he turned to Aphrodite, who was stareing at his hands, still whimpering about his broken nail. "It's just a nail, dear". Aphrodite growled at him. "IT IS NOT JUST A NAIL!!! BEAUTY MEANS PERFECT HAIR!! FLAWLESS SKIN!! AND EVEN NAILS!!!". Aphrodite continued to rant and rave about how beautiful he was and how his nails reflected his beauty. Roobabega groaned and wrote "Narcisist" besides Aphrodite's name. He was about to move on to Milo, when he realized everyone was fighting and yelling at eachother. "STOP IT! STOP!", Mu was screaming, trying to get the fighting Saints to quit their brawl. Too late. "EVERYONE!! GET DOWN!!!", Aiolia screamed. Various attacks hit the bowling ally walls and ceilings. A rumbling was heard. "THE CEILING!!", Shaka yelled, gazing up. They all dashed out of bowling ally. They got out just in time to see the bowling ally collapse to the ground. "I guess we still need mental help?", Shura asked hesitantly. Roobabega cried. _______________________________________________________________________
"So, how did therapy go?", Saori asked as the ten disgruntled young men walked back to Sanctuary. "Don't ask", Aiolia moaned. "Here's the bill for today's session", Saga added, handing the girl the bill. Saori looked at it and screamed. "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN, YOU DESTROYED THE BOWLING ALLY!?". "Just that. We destroyed the bowling ally", Shura replied. Saori fainted. "Come on, let's get out of here before she wakes up!", Shura pushed the others ahead of him. "I wonder what was on the note he gave me", Aphrodite said, opening up a piece of paper. On it was written "Call Me" with a messy phone number scribbled under it. Aphrodite growled and crumpled up the paper, tossing it ontop of Saori's unconscious figure. "Stop it! Stop laughing!", he cried.
THE END-or is it? Dum dum dum