Will stopped he was three steps away; all he had to do was take three steps, lift his hand and knock on the door. So why couldn't he do it, he shouldn't do it but why couldn't he.

A soft hum drifted towards him, he always hated Jem's music. He could feel it, his pain and loneliness. And that's why he couldn't do it because this music, this was good and full of life, something Jem not only deserved but needed.

With a sigh he just dropped to the floor ignoring the stinging pain he felt it really didn't matter anymore. Her room was across the hall and he was staring at it now, willing her to come out and just fix everything to come up with a solution… any solution…

It wasn't her door that opened but when he open his eyes it was her soft gray ones were staring at him, they were full of concern. Great she pitied him. She swallowed hard and he was mesmerised. He was drunk on her; it was as simple as that. Without a word between them she kissed him quickly on the cheek, the kind of kiss that is proper to give ones fiancé's best friend, then she got up and returned to her room.

Absently he touched his cheek he could live of that, her little gift, if that's all he'd ever get. But no, he was too selfish for that. He shuffled to the door, stalling for as long as he could then he flung his hand up and hit as hard he could. This was it he was going to ruin Jems happiness, take his reason for living.

Jem opened the door and a mesmerising smile lit up his face, he was going to take that. "Well are you coming in or not Will. Good lord you never knock and now you're waiting for an invitation…" He trailed off seeing Will for the first time, with a thin layer of sweat covering his body and purple bruises under his eyes; he really did look awful…

"Why thank you James, but manners aren't totally lost on me." He pushed past him and sat on the trunk at the edge of his bed, his legs were too long for it but he'd manage. Jem sat across from him in his violin chair -which he never used for playing- meaning Will would have to look him in the face as he shattered his world.

"Well you never use them" Ok if he was going to do it, it was going to be now.

"Jem…we need to talk" Good lord this was just going to be dreadful

"About what Will, if you've come to talk about Cecily I just don't want to hear it." It was true he had been trying to talk Jem out of training her but that was not what this was about.

"It's not about Cecily-" there must have been something in his voice because Jems face softened as he gazed at Will but upon mention of Tessa he hardened again.

"What about my fiancé?" And it was clear in his voice that he knew.

"Let's not talk of her for a minuet instead do you love me Jem?"

"You know I do, you're my brother beyond blood, Will may I ask you something" This was it he was going to accuse him of loving Tessa and he wasn't going to lie.

"I'd rather you didn't but I suppose I can't stop you, now can I?" Jem didn't smile

"You…love her don't you?"

He swallowed "Cecily, well yes she's my sister" He wasn't sure why he was stalling, this is what he wanted.

"You know who I'm talking about Will" He wasn't angry just clam the same gentle calmness he always had and that was far far worse.

"Jem, you know I do, I might be able to hide from everybody else but I could never hide anything from you. You don't need me to tell you how much I love her, so don't ask Jem it would only hurt…"

"Then I'll ask why you came to see me Will" He was guarded now.

"You know why Jem… But I suppose you'll make me say it then. I love her Jem more than anything, much much more than my own life. I need her to live to breath… Please let me have her." He expected Jem to be outraged to yell or throw things but instead he just gave up.

When he finally did speak it was through a shaky voice "I'll talk to her then, she deserves someone who'll live until the wedding." He closed his eyes "please leave Will".

Will obeyed not feeling any better about himself but again feeling hope.