'Dear Matthew,

This was never meant to happen, and I am sorry.

I'm leaving Ballarat, it's for the best. You are the best, most wonderful man I have ever met but I have to go.

Please don't try to find me, or follow me.

Love,

Alice.'

He read it two, three, four times and still he did not see it.

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'Tell me I've read it wrong,' he thrust the paper at Dr Blake, 'tell me it's not her writing!'

Lucien looked at his friend, there was pain on his face, desperation in his voice, but he couldn't honestly say that it wasn't Alice's writing, because it was.

He sat Matthew down on the couch and went to ask Jean if she could make some tea.

'Alice has gone,' he whispered, 'just left a note, said she was sorry, he is the best, and gone.'

'What?' Jean put the kettle on, 'No!' she hissed, 'why would she do that?'

'God knows, you've seen her lately, any ideas?'

She set a tray and put three cups on it, it would seem her insight was needed.

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'Right, Matthew,' Lucien sat in his chair, 'how has it been, lately, you and Alice?'

'Fine... well I thought it was fine,' he stared into space over his teacup, 'I suppose she's been distracted of late, and I've been busy, you know, with the case.'

'Jean? Have you noticed anything, she pops by occasionally,' Lucien turned to his wife.

'I agree with Matthew, she's been distracted,' Jean paused and thought, 'as if she wanted to tell me something but then thought better of it.'

'She says not to try to find her, but...' Matthew sniffed and wiped tears with the back of his hand, 'bloody hell, Blake, I need her to tell me, face to face. This isn't Alice, she wouldn't do it this way, she'd tell me.'

'Hm...' Lucien thought, it didn't sound like the Alice he knew. 'Work wise, everything ok? I haven't noticed anything in the morgue, maybe a little... a little... her attention has wandered on occasion.'

Jean sat and listened to them discussing Dr Harvey's behaviour over the past few weeks, only half listening, trying to think. She wasn't close to Alice, really, she liked the woman, admired her, even. She had dropped by on occasion, during a case, not usually for a chat and a cuppa, but lately, maybe two or three times. Alice wasn't good with small talk, better at discussing a case than the weather. The last visit, she had mentioned family.

'Family,' Jean sat forward in her chair, 'she mentioned family the last time she visited.'

'But she only has a sister, and she doesn't know where she is.' Matthew grunted.

'Do you think something has happened to her sister, something that means she has to go and see her?' Lucien wondered.

Jean stood up, 'this, gentlemen is not a case for you. Leave it to me, don't ask, and don't push me.'

Lucien and Matthew looked at her then at each other.

'Patience, Matthew, patience,' she smiled and went to kiss his cheek. 'You've been there for us, now it's my turn.'

He looked up at her, what did she know?

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Matthew was terse with his men, short with Lucien; who took no notice; and snapped at anyone who tried to be pleasant to him.

Every time Lucien asked her, Jean would not be drawn. He noticed she scoured the papers, wrote lots of letters and made phone calls she wouldn't tell him about.

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Alice had been gone well over a month, nearer two, when Jean told Lucien she was going away for a couple of days. This rocked him they went away together, they were husband and wife,

'Not this time, darling,' she kissed his cheek, 'but don't worry, I will be back soon. You have to trust me.'

'Alice?'

She just smiled, enigmatically, and kissed him again, before getting into the taxi.

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There was a knock on the door,

'Come,' she snapped, looking up from the papers she was studying. 'Jean!' she gasped, 'how?'

'Dogged determination, something I learnt from my husband,' Jean smiled and went to her. 'Hello, Alice, how are you?' She bent and kissed her cheek.

'I'm, er...' she blushed.

'So I see.' Jean glanced down at her belly, 'that's why you ran.'

'I didn't run,' she huffed, 'I needed to get away.'

'No, you ran.' Jean looked down and frowned as if she were talking to a child. She pulled another chair over and sat down, 'you panicked.'

'I didn't,' Alice realised she sounded like a petulant child, 'I...it would ruin him.'

'Why?'

'This wasn't meant to happen, it shouldn't happen, I'm not supposed...I'm too old..I'm...'

'...scared.' Jean finished for her. 'Matthew's hurt, he thinks he's done something wrong, we are worried about you.' She took her hand. 'You're our friend, Alice, and friends look out for each other.'

Alice sniffed and wiped the tears away with Jean's handkerchief.

'I'm supposed to be hard, know what I'm doing, in charge...'

'...and now you're not.' Jean paused, this was not the Alice she was used to, but it was Alice, scared, out of her depth, 'what were you planning on doing?'

'Adoption, I couldn't contemplate anything else.' She drew herself up, more confident now, 'Matthew need never know.'

'But I know, Alice, and I wouldn't lie to him, nor would Lucien.' Jean looked her square in the eye, 'if it's caring for the baby, then I will help you, Matthew won't be angry, in fact I think he'd be rather pleased.'

'But we're not married.'

'Alice Harvey, since when have you bowed to convention?' Jean tutted, 'really...'

'I...'

'Now, where are you living?'

'In a boarding house, for now, I've been looking for a flat.'

'And this job?'

'Not much, editing papers, mainly.'

Jean shook her head then sat up, 'come home, Alice. If you don't want to move back in with Matthew, yet, we have plenty of room.'

'My work...'

'Resign, Lucien has arranged that your post at the hospital is still open, said you had some family issues to deal with and had to leave in a hurry.'

The truth was Alice wanted someone to come after her and she was rather glad it was Jean. Jean had seen right through her but she hadn't wanted Matthew to see this side of her, the weak side, the side she couldn't control. She had never wanted children, didn't know the first thing about them so when, years ago, after an illness, she had been told she couldn't have children, she supposed she was relieved.

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Over lunch in a small cafe she told Jean how she had tried several times to tell Matthew but found herself stuck for words. The longer it went on the harder it got until the only thing she could think of was to leave.

'All you had to do was sit him down with a large whisky and say the three words; Matthew, I'm pregnant.' Jean patted her hand.

'It sounds so easy when you say it like that,' she sighed.

'At least you're not nineteen and having to confess to your parents,' Jean commented ruefully, 'you and Matthew can make the decisions to suit you, not everybody else, though I warn you, he will probably want to make an honest woman of you,' she smiled.

'I don't want that.' Alice almost snapped, 'sorry, I mean, I don't want him to feel obliged to marry me out of some sense of duty.'

'I don't think it will be out of duty.' Jean hummed, 'he's desperately worried about you, foul tempered with everybody else...'

'Does he know you're looking for me?'

'I told the both of them to leave it to me, I thought it would be easier for you if I came to you. I had a feeling,' Jean told her it was her comment about family that had got her thinking, that and she was distracted.

'So, I gave myself away?'

'In part, yes.'

Jean paid the bill, insisting on it, and they headed to book a room for Jean at a hotel. She sent Alice back to work, to hand in her resignation, using the family excuse, which was now true. They would meet for dinner and pay the final bill on her room at the boarding house.

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'Blake,' Lucien picked up the phone on the first ring, 'Jean,' he smiled.

'Lucien, I've found Alice. She's ok.' Jean sat on the bed in her room, 'I'm bringing her home tomorrow, we should be there mid afternoon. Can you make sure Matthew is there but don't tell him why.'

'What's happened, Jean? Why did she leave?'

'I suppose I'd better tell you, otherwise..' she imagined Lucien's face when he saw his friend and colleague, obviously pregnant. 'Alice is pregnant. She didn't know how to tell Matthew and time went on so she panicked and ran. She's about five months, so, showing.'

'Bloody hell!' he whistled, 'well that's a turn up. You don't want me to tell Matthew?'

'No. We need to leave them alone for a while, in one of the rooms, so they can talk. She may want to stay with us for a while, I don't know, and neither does she, but I am bringing her home.'

'Thank god you found her.' Lucien signed off, promising not to say anything to Matthew, just that she was on the trail and he was not to worry, if he asked.

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Jean looked around the room, it had twin beds, she reasoned that Alice should stay with her that night. Not that she feared she would disappear again, but so they could talk more.

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She waited for Alice outside her office at the university, sitting on a chair feeling like she had been summoned to the head teacher for some misdemeanour.

Shrugging on her coat, Alice turned and satisfied herself that her desk was tidy and no work was left to complete. The university had been sympathetic but sorry to lose her. During the afternoon she had thought about how Jean had come after her, as her friend, what she had been told about Matthew. She'd never had friends like the Blake's before, people who would look for her if she went missing, who would offer their home and their support when she was in need of it, or someone who loved her the way Matthew did. It was all a bit surprising, a nice surprise, even if it was difficult to understand.

'Ready?' Jean stood up and when Alice nodded they headed out and towards the boarding house. On the way Jean told her she may as well use the second bed in her room.

'Afraid I may run away?' Alice asked, but with no bitterness in her voice.

'No, because you know if you do I'll find you again. I just thought we could talk more freely, after dinner,' Jean smiled, 'I want to help you, Alice, if you'll let me,' she added softly.

'I've always had to stand on my own two feet,' they turned into the doorway of her current home, 'certainly since I was twelve, nobody has ever seemed to want to help me.'

'Have you ever let them?' Jean watched her turn the key in her door.

'Probably not, because if they did they may want something in return, something I'm not prepared to give.'

The room was a modest size, with a bed, desk cum dressing table, chair, and wardrobe. She opened the wardrobe and pulled two suitcases out from the bottom. One had skirts and blouses in, Jean supposed they no longer fitted.

'Would you like me to help you pack?' she offered, quietly.

'Thank you, Jean, that would be... kind of you,' even that kind of help was not easy to accept. It saddened Jean to think that she struggled with even the simplest of offers. As they packed Jean noticed how exact Alice was about how she folded her clothes, how she lay them in the case, it was almost a work of art.

'How are you managing for clothes?' Jean asked, 'do you need any help finding suitable things?' She did worry she was possibly pushing a bit too far, but the dress Alice was wearing was becoming tight, once a double breasted button through dress, she appeared to have removed one line of buttons and made it into a shirt style.

'Perhaps,' she admitted shyly.

'We could have a look tomorrow, before we go home.'

'Um...' Alice coloured.

'You won't have to face the gossips in Ballarat.' Jean whispered, 'nobody knows you that well here.'

'I suppose you're right,' Alice sighed, Jean probably was the best person to help her with this particular issue. She did find it a touch embarrassing going into shops looking at maternity wear, at her age.

Alice and Jean took the suitcases down to the office after checking they hadn't missed anything, paid the bill and headed over to the hotel.

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After explaining that Dr Harvey would be staying with her, Jean asked if a porter could carry the cases up stairs, and could they have some tea in the lounge?

Over tea Jean told her what she had said to Lucien over the phone.

'Oh,' she looked shocked, 'I wish you hadn't.'

'It was either that or suffer the expression on his face when you turn up. It's not something you can hide, and especially not from him,' Jean pointed out. 'He's under strict orders not to tell Matthew.'

'Did you say where I am?'

'No, he'd be here now if I did,' Jean grinned, 'but don't be surprised if he whisks you off to the surgery for a full examination; after you and Matthew have spoken.'

'I can't let him do that,' her eyebrows shot up to her hairline, at the thought of her friend and colleague examining her, intimately!

'He's a doctor, Alice, he's able to separate one relationship from the other,' she reminded her, 'and he'd do it even if you weren't pregnant.'

'Can't I go to Dr King?'

'Are you on his list?'

'Er, no, I...'

'Oh Alice,' Jean sighed, 'you can go on Lucien's list, he'll be gentle and non-judgemental, and he can tease Matthew. You won't have to sit in the waiting room with everybody else, I'll schedule your appointments to suit you.'

'Why would you do that?'

'Because you are our friend, and I can see you'd rather not anybody know, which is going to be difficult.' Jean reached over and touched her hand, 'it will be much more discreet and convenient for you.'

'I suppose so.'

'Good, now, I think you should have a nap before dinner,' Jean stood up, 'come on, remember, I've done this before.' She smiled and held out her hand.

Alice felt she was being organised, but part of her was rather glad, she was tired, she was always tired. Perhaps it was time to let someone help her.

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Lucien wasn't sure how he could get Matthew up to the house for the afternoon without telling him Alice was coming home. In the end he just said that Jean would be back and she had some news.

'What news?' Matthew hissed over his desk.

'She wouldn't say, just wants you at the house for when she gets back,' Lucien thought his friend looked more tired as the weeks went on, he was certainly more bad tempered, anyone arrested was safer in Hobart's hands than his. He took his pain out on everybody although when he had had a go at Jean Lucien had dragged him into the study and, in no uncertain words, told him if he spoke to Jean that way again, he would never get the chance to utter another word. He'd apologised, saying he was too worried about Alice to know what he was saying. It was in no way her fault and he promised it would never happen again.

'It's not for the best, Jean,' he'd wept, 'whatever she's done, whatever has happened, her leaving is not for the best.'

'I know, Matthew,' she'd soothed, 'please, I'm working on it, just be patient.'

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Jean and Alice took their luggage to the station and left it in a locker while they went to find the pathologist some suitable clothes that would, not hide her pregnancy, but make it less obvious. Jean wasn't sure what Alice's financial state was, and didn't want to pry, but she had her cheque book with her, and was more than prepared to fund the shopping expedition. Alice could pay her back later, if that's what happened.

The first shop was very much for the younger mother and the dresses full and flouncy, beribboned and frilly, very, 'un-Alice', Jean thought. They thanked the woman in the shop and left,

'I can't wear those,' Alice was horrified.

'I agree,' Jean nodded, 'but that shop looks better.'

Jean explained that as a doctor and a working one, Dr Harvey needed to look professional during her pregnancy. They were shown smart skirts that would grow as she did with swing cut blouses and jackets.

'What about nightwear?' Jean asked when they had selected two skirts, with matching jackets, and several blouses that would go with either. She had noticed that Alice slept in, what appeared to be, one of Matthew's pyjama tops. She obviously had been unable to completely let go.

'I hadn't thought, I usually...'

'I noticed, now, what about..?' she took her over to the nightwear section and pulled out a couple of pretty nightdresses that fastened at the front, short sleeved and not too long. 'These will also be good when you go in to have the baby,' she added in a whisper.

Alice hadn't thought that far ahead, she went a little pale. 'Jean,' she gulped, 'I...'

'I know,' Jean touched her arm, 'don't worry, everything will be fine.'

'I'm a doctor I should know these things,' she was close to tears, tears of frustration and embarrassment. Damn her hormones, at least she knew that was the cause of her emotional state at the moment.

'You're going to be a mother, that doesn't come in a text book, Alice,' Jean selected a light robe to go with the nightdresses, 'now, happy with these, or would you like to look at some others?'

'These will be fine, thank you, for your help and for coming after me.'

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They collected their luggage and purchased a ticket for Alice, and a friendly porter helped them get everything into a compartment. As the train got underway Alice sat staring out of the window, wondering what Matthew would say when he say her, what she should say to him. She was lost in her thoughts when Jean leant forward and tapped her knee.

'Alice, why don't we go next door, to the buffet car, I could do with a cuppa and a sandwich at least, and you must be hungry.' She had noticed she ate well at dinner and again at breakfast, she knew she would eat well that night, but it was lunchtime.

'I could do with the lavatory, too,' she agreed, 'it would seem my baby needs some extra room.'

'You wait,' Jean teased, 'when you're much further on the first thing you look for when you go anywhere is the bathroom,' she stood up, 'come on.'

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Railway fare was... railway fare, but at lease it fill the empty stomachs and the tea wasn't too bad, as Alice said, 'warm and wet.' She noticed people looking at her belly and one or two older women raised any eyebrow when they saw the lack of a ring. Jean noticed it too,

'Take no notice,' she hissed, 'probably spinsters. Let's go back to the compartment and, if I pull down the blinds you could change into one of your new outfits. That dress is...'

'It is, isn't it?' Alice nodded, 'that might be a good idea, and more comfortable.'

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Alice chose a smart navy skirt and jacket, with a spotted blouse underneath. She looked every inch the professional doctor and the pregnancy was hardly noticeable.

'...unless I turn sideways,' she quipped. 'Thank you again, Jean, I really didn't know where to start. All the pregnant women I see are usually wearing the frilly type of dresses, the ones we saw in the first shop.'

'I know, they are a bit much aren't they, unless you're seventeen,' Jean laughed, 'I had to let my dresses out or wear one of Christopher's shirts over a skirt. I couldn't afford new just for pregnancies.'

'I wish I was that good with a needle.'

'I could teach you, if you want.'

Alice pursed her lips, 'maybe a little bit of mending, though I can replace buttons.'

They dozed for a while, until the guard called that the next stop was Ballarat. They gathered their cases and Alice's shopping and stepped out onto the platform.

'We'll get a taxi home, I think,' Jean suggested, 'we can't carry all this.'

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The closer the taxi got to the house the more nervous Alice became. She constantly wrung a handkerchief in her hands and bit her lip. Jean put her hand over hers,

'Everything will be fine, you'll see,' she paid the driver and smiled as Lucien appeared at the door. Alice stood back as he greeted his wife with a kiss and then he looked over at his colleague. He held out his hand and stepped forward,

'Welcome home, Alice,' he said softly, and kissed her cheek. 'You look well. Matthew's in the living room.'

Alice swallowed.

'Go and talk to him, he'll understand.'

'You haven't told him?' her voice trembled.

'No, I wouldn't break that confidence,' he smiled and urged her forward, gently.

'Tea, Lucien,' Jean muttered, 'then I'll see to dinner.'

'Fish and chips will do tonight, love,' he kissed her again, 'you've had a long day.'

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Matthew had his back to her staring out of the window, a tray of tea for the two of them was on the coffee table.

'Hello, Matthew,' she whispered.

He turned slowly and stood looking at her. She looked different, frightened... of him, of what he might say. He held out his hands, 'Alice...' before he had finished uttering her name she was in his arms sobbing,

'Sorry, I'm sorry, please, I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't know what to say...'

'Alice, please,' he guided her to the couch, 'what did you need to say?'

She took his hand and placed it on her belly, 'I tried to tell you, but it got later on, and there never seemed to be the right time.'

'You mean..?' his eyes widened as he stared into hers, 'bloody hell!' he breathed.

'I thought you'd be angry, it wasn't supposed to happen,' she searched his face for how he felt, and saw only wonder and love. 'I'm sorry.'

He held her close,

'It's alright, I'm not angry, not in the slightest. I love you, you silly girl, and this, this is a bonus neither of us saw coming,' he leant back to look at her, wiping away her tears with his thumbs, 'we'll be fine, the three of us, together.'

'Are you sure?' she sniffed.

'Of course,' he laughed, 'one day at a time. And with friends like Jean and Lucien, what can go wrong?'

She cuddled close, 'Is that tea still hot?'

'Doubt it,' he kissed the top of her head, 'I'll get some fresh.'

She followed him into the kitchen and watched him boil the kettle and empty the lukewarm tea out of the pot. He turned and smiled,

'I couldn't work out what was different, when you stood there,' he pointed to the living room, 'now I can see it, you look lovely.'

'Flattery, superintendant,' she teased, 'my eyes will be red, as will my nose.'

'You still look lovely,' he smiled.

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Lucien did, indeed, insist on doing a full check up on Alice and declared her fit and well, if possibly a little anaemic, for which he prescribed iron tablets. After fish and chips and more tea Alice agreed to go home with Matthew,

'It where I should be, I think,' she told Jean as Lucien loaded her suitcases and shopping into the car, 'at least I need to try. Matthew deserves that, and, whatever I may have done or thought, I do love him very much.'

'Come over for a chat and a cuppa whenever you want, Alice,' Jean kissed her cheek, 'you are always welcome. If you want any help, you only have to ask.'

'Thank you, Jean.'

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'Do you think they'll be alright?' Jean asked as they lay curled together in bed, after he had made long slow love to her.

'They'll be fine, they have their fairy godmother, Jean, looking after them.'