*This came from a very interesting conversation my friend and I had. The green letters are the books words...
Too much free time, Green Chicken Wings, and the Depth of Dr. Seuss*
*
Harry and Hermione were seated at the middle table in the Gryffandor common room. There was nothing to do. They had already played ten games of Exploding Snap, twelve games of Wizard Chess, and had eaten the remaining candy leftover from their last trip to Hogsmeade. Hermione groaned, "What are we going to do now?"
Harry shrugged as he rummaged through her bag.
"Hey! Gimme that."
"No way. There might be something interesting in here." came a muffled voice. "Oooo, a diary!"
"Hand it over Potter unless you want to be cat feed."
"Fine," Harry grumbled after emerging from the scarlet bag. "But it would have been interesting to read what it said inside."
"For you maybe, but definitely not for me."
"Are you hiding stuff from me?" demanded Harry. "I'm your friend," he wheedled, "you can trust me."
" Yeah, sure Harry. When pigs fly- with no outside help." blushed Hermione.
"Your no fun." Harry went back to searching her bag.
"Hey! Here's something I haven't read for a while." Harry pulled out a worn copy of Green Eggs and Ham.
"Well, I have been babysitting a lot and it comes in handy." murmured a red Hermione.
"This is so cool. Green Eggs and Ham used to be my favorite Dudley Damaged Dirt Trash that I got." Harry didn't hear her comment. "Can I read it?"
"I guess."
"Awesome!"
Harry and Hermione sat in quiet for about ten minutes as Harry read the book.
*ten minutes later*
"Wow. I wish I could meet Dr. Seuss. He is my idol. He is sooo deep."
"Harry, you twit. Dr. Seuss is dead and his real name is Theodore Geisil."
"It's G-e-i-s-E-l. Besides, can't a guy call his idol by his pen name if he wants to? I never heard of a law against it."
"What in the world do you mean by deep?"
"He is deep. That yellow guy is prejudiced 'cause he won't eat ham and eggs that are green. Although I do agree with him where he says 'I would not eat them in a house I would not eat them with a mouse'. That's big insight. The mouse could turn out to be a rat like Pettigrew."
"Harry for goodness sake! It's a children's book. You should be reading those texts we were assigned by McGonagall and Snape."
"Oh, so now you want to limit my reading to school books? Well that's never going to happen. You could learn a lot from Dr. Seuss, Hermione. A BIG lot."
"Theodore Geisel, Harry. Theodore Geisel."
"So now we're back to the pen name. If he wanted people to be calling him that Dr. Seuss would have written under Theodore Geisel. But did he? I don't believe he did, Hermione, because I am calling him Dr. Seuss."
"He also wrote under the name Theo. LeSieg and your not calling him that."
"That was only thirteen books."
"Only," Hermione answered sarcastically.
"I'm not the one who is carrying his books around in my bag. Huh? Huh, Huh, Huh?"
"Shut-up Harry. You don't even have a bag."
"See?"
"Go stick your head up your arse. It's already pretty far up."
"Excuse me? How dare you say such things in the presence of a classic." Harry hugged the book close to him and covered it up, as if to cover its ears.
"But will you admit that Dr. Seuss was a man of depth?"
"Harry, you are acting like a child."
"Teenagers are allowed to experience unreasonable thoughts. Let me experience mine!" Harry sniffed
"You're a dork."
"A smart one."
"Shove it."
A silence followed as Harry crooned softly to the book Green Eggs and Ham. Ron entered the common room with a bucket of chicken wings.
"Hey, guys!" he called and he hurried over to them.
"Why do you have green chicken wings, Ron?" asked Hermione. "They could be diseased. They look disgusting."
"Oh, well the kitchen elves said it was some muggle author's birthday. They're celebrating. Personally, I don't see the connection between green food and books." said Ron as he gnawed on a chicken wing. Harry and Hermione glared at each other.
"Hand it over to him, Harry." started Hermione.
"I don't want to. You hurt its feelings."
"It's a book Harry. You can't hurt its feelings because it doesn't have feelings."
"Ohhh. So just because it is a book it can't have feelings can it?"
"Harry. Please. It was my book to begin with."
"You can hold a book hostage but you can never chain its spirit."
"This is utterly ridiculous!"
Harry and Hermione went back to glaring at each other again.
"Um, guys?" started Ron. "Whatever it is I don't think I need to see it."
"Quiet Weasley!" they shouted simultaneously.
"If that's the way your going to be about it..." Ron said huffily. He went back to eating green chicken wings.
"Fine. Here Ron read this." Harry handed Green Eggs and Ham to Ron. He took about fifteen minutes to read the book.
*fifteen minutes later*
"Hmmmm, this explains the green chicken wings." Ron said when he was done.
"Soooo? What did you think?" asked Hermione.
"I think you guys have way to much free time and are stupid to be fighting about a book."
"It is not."
"You just don't understand such depth."
"Harry, Hermione, you two are my best friends. I want you to remember this. But get a LIFE."
"I don't have to take this." exclaimed Harry. He started to get up.
Hey, Hey! Could you let me out? I can't breath.
"Huh?" grumped Harry, Hermione, and Ron.
I
Harry put the book down on the table.
Thanks. You people really are the biggest idjits I have ever known. You don't even ask my opinion. And what would Dr. Seuss think? He doesn't want people fighting over stupid things. I gotta go now. You sure gave
The Green Eggs and Ham book hopped off the table and disappeared.
"See? I told you it had feelings," Harry accused Hermione.
"Just because something can talk doesn't mean it has feelings." she retorted.
"I'm leaving. I've got a life. I've got quidditch. Good bye." Harry stomped out the door.
"I for one, agree with the book." said Ron.
"Arrrggghhh," screeched Hermione. She flung the bucket of green chicken wings in Ron's face and ran up the stairs to the girl's dormitory.
"Hey, you're dishonoring Dr. Seuss's memory." Ron called after her amusedly. "Now where did that chicken wing go! That was my last one and they were delicious. I wonder what an idjit is...."
*In the Slytherin common room*
"What happened to my Cat in the Hat book?" Snape asked angrily of his students, "I thought I told you goons never to touch it!!!"