You can all thank YouBlitheringIdiot on AO3 for this final instalment. Also youreyesinstarsabove on tumblr because she peer pressured me into publishing early ("""Peer pressured""")

I want to be sorry about how this opens but…. I'm not

I'm never sorry

Obituaries — 12 July 2015

Mr Fleamont Potter, 70, passed away suddenly in his home in Kensington on the 7th of July 2015. He was much loved by his wife, Euphemia, his son, James, and all those who have known him. Fleamont worked in the Kensington Library for nearly fifty years, most recently serving as Library Director.

Private family service. Donations, if wished, should be made to the Kensington Library.

Obituaries — 27 July 2015

Mrs Euphemia Potter, 69, passed away peacefully on the the 22nd of July 2015. She is survived by one son, James, and three children that might as well be her own, Lily, Sirius, and Remus. Euphemia taught science at Kensington Community Primary School for forty-five years and was loved by all who knew her.

Private family service. If wished, donations should be made to Liverpool Charity and Voluntary Services.

WhatsApp Chat — Sirius Black, Lily Evans, and Remus Lupin

3 August 2015 18:02

Lily Evans: Can you come over? One of you at least?

Lily Evans: I know he says that he's fine, but he's a fucking wreck

Lily Evans: I just got home from work and he hasn't moved all day and I don't think that he's eaten

Lily Evans: I knew I shouldn't have gone to work today why the fuck did I listen to him

Remus Lupin: We're getting on the bus now — there in fifteen

Remus Lupin: Breathe, Lil

WhatsApp Chat — The Marauders

4 August 2015 09:13

James Potter: you guys really didnt have to come over last night

Sirius Black: yes we did

James Potter: let me finish omg

James Potter: you didnt have to come over last night but thank you

Remus Lupin: You know that we'll be there anytime you need us, James

James Potter: I just dont want to be a burden

*incoming FaceTime - Sirius Black*

WhatsApp Chat

22 August 2015 13:09

James Potter: hey

Sirius Black: hey

13:21

Sirius Black: you alright today

James Potter: no

Sirius Black: yeah me neither

James Potter: want to talk anout it

14:02

James Potter: Sirius?

14:31

Sirius Black: they wer just the beat fucking peioke

Sirius Black: they did ao much for me and I dont know if they eveb know thar

Sirius Black: I really fucking wish id told them

James Potter: I'm coming over now

James Potter: you can tell me

James Potter: and Sirius they knew. They knew. Mum and dad fucking adored you

14:52

Sirius Black: wheb are you goung to be here

James Potter: just got off the bus

WhatsApp Chat

14 September 2015 10:43

Lily Evans: Did you finish the porridge? Xx

14 September 2015 11:12

James Potter: most of it

Lily Evans: Okay

Lily Evans: How are you feeling?

James Potter: shite

Lily Evans: Do you want me to come home?

14 September 2015 11:41

James Potter: no thats alright. You have work to do

Lily Evans: James, you're more important than anything happening in the bloody Commons today/ever

Lily Evans: If you want me to come home, you say the word

14 September 2015 11:58

James Potter: I love you

Lily Evans: I love you too x

14 September 2015 14:05

James Potter: Evans?

Lily Evans: Yeah?

James Potter: can you come home?

Lily Evans: I'm on my way

To: Kay O'Hare (okay .uk)

CC: Remus Lupin (rjlupin ); Sirius Black (siriusb )

From: James Potter (jfpotter )

Date: 31 October 2015 01:34

Subject: Idea

Hi Kay,

If youre reading this email right now, don't you dare respond until morning.

Had an idea I wanted to run by you, but as it's the middle of the night, I didn't want to call, so I figured I'd just drop this in your inbox before I forget to do it and then it's too late.

What would you say if I told you that I wanted to record an acoustic version of the whole second album in my parent's lounge? I know there will be logistics to hammer out, but the space is big enough to fit in all the equipment that we'd need (or at least most of it) and the sound is pretty decent. Maybe we could get some cameras in there? Do a YouTuve thing?

Let me know what objections you have (we both know tyou'll have them) and we'll talk it through — maybe tomorrow? Or, I guess it's today. I'll be home all day, so call whenever you get a mo.

Best,

James

Sent from my iPhone

It's cathartic, working on this project of his.

It's damn near impossible to work some days, when his mind is more interested in running through memories of the first time they wrote this album, of dad popping into the lounge with another bloody tea tray, of mum listening to him complain about the terrible third draft of a song that just isn't fucking working, of his parents sitting on the sofa, tapping their feet to the beat once they finally start to get it right. Even when it's hard to work on — because the songs aren't working, because his brain won't give him a minute of fucking peace — it does help.

He disappears into the studio for hours at a time over the next few weeks. Usually Sirius and Remus are there, but sometimes they aren't. Sometimes they just need the time away.

Sometimes Lily is there. She sits outside the booth and bats ideas around, listens to him play the same song over and over and over again.

Most of the time, someone is there with him, but sometimes he's there alone.

He can feel himself getting lost in this, can feel himself clinging onto the music like it's all that he's got left, and he knows that sitting in the studio and refusing to surface is basically hiding, but sometimes he really, really just needs to hide because once the door closes behind him, nothing else exists. It sometimes makes returning to reality all that much more difficult, but he wouldn't give up those studio hours for anything. They give him something else to focus on, something that he feels comfortable obsessing over.

It might not be healthy, but he needs to redirect his energy or he's going to implode.

And anyway, he isn't usually alone. Lily and Sirius and Remus make sure of that.

It takes them a few weeks to re-work everything to their liking, but in the end, the re-writes are beautiful. Remus has to drag out his cello and they have to see if they can get his parent's old piano tuned and they have to hire at least a half dozen choral singers, but he's really, really impressed with the work they've been able to do.

He knows that his parents would love these songs if they were around to hear them.

It's the beginning of December when they're finally making their way back up to Liverpool — he'd used to love coming back here, used to look anxiously at the calendar every time he had something planned and count the days obsessively, and even though, this time, he's heading up for a project he asked for, he has that lead feeling in his stomach that makes him feel like he's going to throw up.

Still, he'd asked for this and he's going to deal with it.

Or, perhaps more accurately, he's going to ignore it and hope it goes away.

That lead feeling, though, becomes a lot harder to ignore once he's standing outside his parent's old house with a van full of equipment and videographers and a producer and a director and instruments and everything else he could possibly need.

Well, almost everything.

Lily is still back in London.

He'd told her that there was no need to rush, that he would be fine, but now that he's standing here, he really wishes that he hadn't been such an idiot.

He is not fine. He is not even in the same bloody postcode as fine.

He texts Lily to let her know that he's arrived, sends her a Snap of him smiling beside the van to prove that he hasn't broken down sobbing in his parents' front garden, and stuffs the mobile back into his pocket as he walks over and sits on the garden wall. There are people moving all around him, techs bringing in lights, some people Kay hired carrying in their equipment, and James honestly doesn't know what to do with himself.

'Hey.'

James turns around and sees Remus jogging down the garden path. He walks through the gate and comes to a stop in front of James, looks at him shrewdly. 'You alright?'

He nods, half shrugs. 'As good as could be expected.'

Remus nods, reaches up and settles a firm hand on James' shoulder. 'Let us know if that changes.'

James can't think of anything to say to that, so he just nods and changes the subject. 'How's Sirius?'

Remus sighs, moves to sit down on the wall beside James. 'As good as could be expected.'

They sit in silence for a long minute, and James knows that they're both thinking about Sirius. About how hastily he'd patched himself back together in the weeks after James' parents had died. How sometimes they're able to see the cracks, clear as day, in his façade.

'I think this is going to help, though,' Remus says, turning to look at James. 'Writing it seemed to help both of you.'

James nods. 'Yeah, it did. Didn't fucking fix anything, though.'

'Well, nothing is going to do that.'

'I know.'

Remus wraps his arm around James' shoulders again, squeezes him into his side before he drops his arm back into his lap.

'Thanks.'

Remus nods and, for a moment, they're quiet again.

'Is Lily coming up?'

James shrugs. 'She has that immigration bill she's been working on and they're supposed to have the third reading later this month.'

'I'm sure she'd still want to be here though.'

'She does. I — we had a bit of a row about it actually.'

'What? How?'

James scrubs his hand over his face. 'I shouted at her like an arsehole.'

Remus gives him a look and James groans. 'I know, I know. She already gave me quite the dressing down, so I don't need your help.'

'I didn't say anything.'

'You didn't have to.'

Remus sighs. 'At least I know my chastising looks work on someone.'

'They work on Sirius, too, he just pretends they don't.'

Remus hums his disbelief. 'Anyway, don't distract me. What did you shout at Lily for?'

James rakes a hand through his hair and knocks his glasses slightly off centre.

'I just — I mean, there's no excuse, right? I was just being an arsehole.'

'Talking about what happened isn't the same thing as making an excuse.'

James sighs and is quiet for a long minute. He thinks Remus might get up and leave, but Remus seems content to sit quietly and wait for James to have the right words.

'She was offering to take this whole month off,' James says finally. 'She volunteered to be up here to support us through this entire thing. And we were talking about it on a day that was already kind of shite — the day we'd been in logistics meetings with Kay all day, remember?'

Remus nods and James continues. 'So I was already stressed and tired and sort of out of it because it — I mean, we'd spent the whole day talking about dragging shit into my parents house and doing all these temporary renovations and I was burnt out — and so when I got home and she was talking about abandoning all these things she'd been working on and coming with us because I needed support —

James groans, drops his head into his hands. 'God, I'm a dick.'

'Yeah.'

James' head snaps up and he must look so miserable because Remus claps a hand on his shoulder.

'Look. You're still grieving. She knows that. It doesn't mean you were right to act like a arsehole when she was offering to help you, but I'm sure she gets it.'

'We talked about it later that night, so it's not like it even lasted that long. I just — I hope she doesn't — I don't know. I hope she's not treading lightly or something, that's — I mean, that's not what I want, either. She shouldn't have to do that.'

'Assuming we're talking about the same Lily, I'd say I think you don't anything to worry about where that's concerned.'

'We did have a nice little row the other day about how I left my mug on the draining board for a week again.'

Remus laughs. 'There you go. Sounds like you're back to normal.'

James grins. 'Anyway, enough about our domestic drama. What about yours?'

Remus frowns. 'What are you talking about?'

'Have you talked to Sirius yet?'

Remus frowns like he's confused, but James knows that he knows exactly what he's talking about.

'What do you mean?'

'We really aren't going to play this game again, are we? Not after me and Lily.'

Remus sighs, brushes his hair out of his eyes, looks out into the drive and watches people carrying things into the house.

'This is different,' Remus says at last.

James raises an eyebrow. 'How is this different?'

'We're in a band together. If this doesn't work out —'

'Lily and I had been friends for like, twenty years. You don't think those are similar stakes?'

Remus half shrugs.

James leans back onto his arm so he can better see Remus' expression. 'I've had to deal with you two for the last, what, twelve years? I think I know what I'm talking about when I say that he's absolutely in love with you.'

Remus flushes a brilliant red and drops his face into his hands. When he speaks, his voice is slightly muffled. 'Don't say that.'

'Why not?'

'Because you're just going to get my hopes up and then everything is going to come crashing down around my head and then I'm going to be miserable.'

'You already look miserable, mate. No offense,' he adds, when Remus picks his head up and glares at him.

Remus grumbles something under his breath that James doesn't quite catch, but he isn't stupid enough to ask Remus to repeat it.

'Look,' James says, 'I'm just saying, you have two options. You can be better than Lily and I were and say something now or,' he raises his voice because Remus opens his mouth like he's going to object, 'or you can sit around and be an idiot for years and then feel like you wasted a ton of time that you could have been with him and been happy.'

He doesn't say all the words that are on his mind, the ones about how time is the one thing that you can't ever get back. About how time is what you're always going to wish you had more of.

He doesn't say it, but Remus seems to hear it anyway.

He breathes a sigh and nods. 'Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right.'

'Can I get that on engraved on a plaque?' James asks, turning and grinning at him. 'Or maybe stitched onto a pillow. I'm not picky.'

Remus shoves him lightly on the shoulder. 'Shut the fuck up.'

James grins at him for a moment before his expression softens.

'It's up to you, mate, and obviously I'll support you either way, but just — just think about it, yeah?'

Remus nods and they sit quietly on the wall for a minute before Remus hops up and turns to James.

'Let's go in before Sirius convinces one of the techs to do something horrible.'

James chuckles softly under his breath as he gets to his feet and follows Remus into the house.

The next few weeks feel almost like a cleansing.

Playing the songs they'd spent weeks rewriting and perfecting is like setting them on the ground one at a time and then pitching a match into the centre.

Maybe it sounds destructive, but it's like he's burning all of this out of him. The negativity, the dread, the heavy loss. He's sad sometimes, he'll always be sad sometimes, but he's alright. Or he's getting there at least.

He hasn't been able to say that for months.

Lily comes up halfway through the month, when her bill successfully passes through its third reading and there's little left to do than finalise some of the text and hammer out the details on a few last minute amendments.

She leans up against the far wall of his parents' lounge most of the time, her face just visible behind the cameras and the lights and the techs moving around. He knows she must be wondering what's happening back down in Westminster, must be worried about what they're doing to her baby while she isn't around, but James doesn't see her touch her mobile once in the whole two weeks she's up there.

There aren't enough words to thank her for being here. Still, he tries.

He says what he should have said when she'd offered to take the month.

When they finish at the end of December, it's like the weight finally lifts. Nothing is fixed and nothing has changed, but he can breathe again. The laughs come easier.

He still thinks of them from time to time, but it's funny things now. Things he couldn't let himself remember when everything was raw. Things like Dad bringing home another box of musty old book from the library and Mum shouting at him because "For god's sake, Fleamont, we don't have anymore shelf space and I'm not building another bloody bookshelf!" or the time in uni when he'd been out late with Lily and come home to find his Mum and Sirius waiting for him in the dark because they wanted to "interrogate him and finally get some honest answers about this Lily business."

He finds himself looking at Lily differently, too, now that he's surfaced again. He's not sure how to account for it, the new depth of his feelings for her. He wasn't even aware that he could feel more for her, he'd already felt so much, but he feels it now whenever he thinks of her, this heavier, more serious feeling that's settled in his chest.

Maybe it had always been there and he's just realising it.

Either way, he finds himself thinking about her all the time. About their future.

It's in the back of his mind when she kisses him hello after a long day of work, when he notices the lines on her forehead and he puts the kettle on. When he finds himself on jewellers websites when he's supposed to be reviewing new website designs or figuring out how to "use Snapchat properly" so Kay will stop nagging him. When he rents out his parents place instead of selling it outright.

Sirius laughs and shakes his head at him when James tells him, about a week before Lily's birthday, that he's going to propose soon.

'What?! You can't honestly tell me you don't approve — you love Lily.'

Sirius is laughing so hard that he can barely breathe, and James narrows his eyes at him.

'It's not that,' Sirius says when he can finally be bothered to stop laughing. He wipes his eyes as the last bits of laughter bubble out of him.

'What is it then?' James snaps.

Sirius just shakes his head and starts laughing again.

Even Remus is useless. He just hums and barely bites back a smile when James tells him.

'What is wrong with you two?! You and Sirius are both acting like I'm fucking mad!'

Remus snorts. 'No, mate, we're not. We're happy for you. I swear.'

'Then why the fuck did you both giggle like children when I brought it up?'

'Excuse me, I did not giggle,' Remus says.

James waves him off. 'Are you going to answer the question or not?'

'Not.'

James throws up his hands.

Despite the fact that his best friends are complete arseholes, James let's himself think more and more about this idea of his. He starts to mildly obsess over it in February when he picks the ring up from the jewellers.

Still, though, he just carries it around in his pocket. It never seems like the right time. And maybe he should have learned his lesson by now, but his mushy, romantic side just can't help it. He's got these grand visions in his head, a warm spring day, her hair glowing brilliant auburn in the sun — maybe they're lying in the grass and maybe they've gone to the Prewetts' place again and they're bathed in nostalgia. Or maybe he'll find some place she's never been, a place that's on her list, and he'll watch her just take it all in with that beautiful, excited look on her face, the one she always wears when she's trying to commit everything to memory and she's worried she won't have enough space.

Or maybe they'll just be lying in bed, his hands on her skin and his body against hers, and he'll just blurt it out right there. It's the least romantic of his options, but he can't rule it out — he's nearly done it a few times in the last couple of weeks.

Still, somehow, he manages to keep a lid on it and then it's the end of March.

When he wakes on the morning of the 27th, he's alone in bed. He can hear Lily bustling away in the kitchen and though his impulse is to turn over and go back to sleep, he knows that he should probably get up.

Sunday or not, he's too old to be lying in bed all day.

'Welcome to thirty something,' Lily says when she notices James walking into the kitchen a moment later. She kisses him good morning as he settles heavily into a chair at the dining table. She hands him a cup of tea and James smiles gratefully at her as she sits down in the chair to his left.

He takes a long, slow sip before he speaks.

'Thanks,' he says. He picks her foot up off the floor, sets it in his lap, starts running his fingers lightly over her calf as he sips at his tea.

'What do you want to do today?'

James looks at her, raises an eyebrow as he starts running his hand a bit higher up the inside of her leg. 'This?'

She laughs. 'We do this every day. It's your birthday, we should do something special.'

'This is pretty special to me, Evans.'

She rolls her eyes at him. 'You're such a nerd.'

'You love it. It's one of the many, many things you love about me.'

She shakes her head, slides her foot off his lap, and stands. 'Another year and not any humbler, I see.'

He takes her hand as she moves past him towards the counter.

'Hey,' he presses a kiss to the inside of her wrist. 'I'm plenty humble. I'm the most humble person you know.'

She laughs, shakes her head at him. He turns her hand over and kisses her knuckles. She steps closer, stands between his knees, and James leans up, presses a kiss to her collarbone.

'In fact, that's what I want for my birthday.' He settles his hands on her waist, spreads his fingers over her ribs as he stands.

'What's that?' She has to tilt her head up to look at him when they're standing this close and he takes advantage. He leans down and presses a kiss to her throat, smirking against her skin when she groans softly.

'I want you to tell me that I'm the most humble person you know.'

She starts to laugh, but then he kisses underneath her ear, the hinge of her jaw, and the laughter dies on her lips.

She lets him kiss her for a minute, humming contentedly as he brushes his lips across her neck, groaning a bit louder when he nips at her pulse point.

'Come on, Evans,' he says, turning and walking them backwards until Lily is just perched on the end of the table. 'It's my birthday.'

He sounds a little whiny and so he isn't surprised when she laughs against his chest.

'You're ridiculous.'

He's about to reply, but she's over him and his nonsense — she takes his face in her hands and pulls his mouth to hers.

He hums against her lips, and she smiles, runs her fingers along his jaw before threading them in the hair at the base of his neck. She catches his bottom lip lightly between her teeth, runs her tongue over the spot. She smiles against his lips again when he groans, and he lifts his hand to her jaw, tilts her head, and deepens the kiss.

He pushes her back into the table, feels her legs pick up off the floor as she slides across the table top. The table creaks and, for a minute, they both ignore it — but then James presses into her again, Lily shifts her weight, and it creaks a bit louder.

Lily breaks the kiss and James moves his mouth back to her neck.

'James.' He hums against her neck and she groans low in her throat.

'The table — the table can't take it.'

He grazes his teeth along her neck and her hand slips inside his dressing gown, runs down the length of his chest.

'It managed perfectly well last time,' he says, kissing her ear. Her breath is hot against his neck and he presses closer to her, dutifully ignoring the way the table creaks when he bumps it.

'James,' she says again, and though she's not making any moves to climb off the table, he still hears the warning in her voice.

He steps back, runs his hand down her arm, and takes her hand in his. He tugs gently on her hand and she slides off the end of the table, bumping into him when her feet hit the ground.

They bump into a few walls along the way, but she laughs every time, and then they're in their room and she's dragging him back onto the bed and neither of them is laughing anymore.

He thinks about asking her right there, her hair splayed out on the pillow as she lies underneath him, a bright, brilliant look in her eyes, and a smile on her face that's stopping his heart. He thinks about asking her, about leaning over and grabbing that small velvet box out of his bedside cabinet — he thinks about asking her, but then she hooks her leg around the back of his thighs and pulls him down on top of her and he doesn't.

They spend most of the morning in bed.

He's planning to spend the afternoon there, too, but Lily pushes him out of bed around eleven and tells him he needs to shower.

'Do I smell?'

She shakes her head at him as she settles back onto the pillows.

'No. You should just shower.'

He leans back over the bed and kisses her, a light, barely there kiss that has her pressing up out of the bed so that she can have more of him.

'You gonna join me?'

She laughs and James kisses her jaw as she shakes her head. 'No. It always takes an age when we do that.'

'I'm in no hurry to go anywhere.'

He kisses her neck and she groans softly. She shifts underneath him and he thinks she's going to climb out of bed and follow him into the bathroom, but she puts her hand on his chest and pushes him up instead.

'Go!'

He grins as he drops one more kiss onto her lips. 'Alright, alright, alright. I'm going.'

He straightens up and raises an eyebrow at her as she snuggles back under the blankets. 'And what are you going to do?'

'I'm going to watch you walk away and then I'm going to take a nap.'

James laughs and shakes his head at her, but he also puts a little more effort into his walk as he walks away (and grins to himself when Lily snorts with laughter from bed).

When he gets out of the shower fifteen minutes later, it becomes clear why Lily was pushing him out of bed.

'Hey, James, nice of you to get dressed for us!'

James shrieks, and Sirius and Remus immediately start laughing. They're lounging up against the wall just down the corridor from the bathroom, chatting with Lily who, James notices, has put on a dressing gown instead of actually bothering to get dressed.

'I told you you'd want to shower,' she says. She smiles at him as she watches him tighten the towel around his waist after his violent jump had nearly knocked it off his hips.

'You couldn't've told me these gits were coming?'

'It was a surprise,' Sirius says. 'We threatened to disappear her if she ruined it.'

Remus rolls his eyes. 'Anyway, get dressed, we're going to be late.'

'Late for what?'

'None of your damn business,' Remus says. 'Just get dressed.'

James frowns at him. 'You two,' he points between Remus and Sirius, 'have been spending too much time together.'

When he's finally dressed, they drag him out of the flat (Lily laughing very unhelpfully when he tries, again, to get some kind of information out of her) and out onto the street.

They spend most of the afternoon wandering around Wandsworth, the middle point he and Lily had agreed on when they'd decided to move in together a while back. It isn't even remotely in the middle of the places they'd used to live, but it's close to Westminster and the studio, south of the river (per Sirius' request), and it's… it's quiet for Central London. It's cosy.

They hadn't talked about it when they'd chosen it, but it's the perfect place to start a family.

Sirius slags him off for constantly, for being old and domestic, but James doesn't mind. Lily makes him want to be old and domestic.

They grab lunch right after they leave the house, spend the afternoon dipping in and out of shops. They don't seem to have a plan, Remus and Sirius, but it's nice just wandering aimlessly with them and chatting. They don't do it nearly often enough and James is glad that they're finally able to get together and talk about something other than lyrics and albums and interviews for once.

As the late afternoon rolls around, though, it starts to seem like they're up against some kind of deadline because Remus is suddenly dragging them towards the tube station and won't hear anything James has to say about popping into the shops they're walking past.

They walk more swiftly than James thinks is strictly necessary, passing under the arches into the tube station and moving through the turnstiles are an altogether ridiculous speed. They're heading into town from what James can tell, but they refuse to give him any more information than that.

'You can stop trying to get us to tell you,' Remus says, sitting down in open seat near the window at the front of the carriage. 'We aren't going to tell you.'

Sirius sits down next to Remus, and James leans up against the plexiglass panel opposite and smirks at them.

Sirius raises an eyebrow. 'What?'

'Nothing.'

They both give him the finger.

They get off the tube in Westminster and immediately start down the street away from the river, and James is trying to stop asking them where they're going (kind of), but it just isn't making sense because why would they come all the way to West-bloody-minster when they could just go home and lay on his sofa and eat dinner with Lily?

Then, though, they turn down a small side street James has been down many, many times before, and he starts shaking his head because he finally realises where they're going.

'If Lily finds out that you took me to the Prewetts' without her, she's going to kill you both.'

Sirius laughs. 'Relax, mate. I think Lil and I are solid.'

'Okay,' James says, the disbelief obvious in his voice. 'But it's your funeral.'

'Trust me,' Remus gives him a look as they come to a stop outside the bakery door. 'We're fine.'

He doesn't give James anymore time to think about it, because then he opens the bakery door and it's immediately clear why Lily isn't going to mind.

'Surprise!'

Lily is standing there, that heart-stopping smile on her face, and she's surrounded by all these people James didn't realise she knew, people from Kay's office, the studio, all their tour people. They all look so damn pleased with themselves because James is notoriously difficult to pull things on, but it's Lily that he can't take his eyes off of.

When she's smiling at him like that — it's everything. It's absolutely everything.

He looks around at everyone after a moment, laughs, and runs a hand through his hair. 'Thanks, everyone, holy shit. I definitely wasn't expecting this.'

Sirius claps an arm on his shoulder. 'We know you weren't, mate. Happy birthday.'

James pulls him into a hug, catches Remus before he disappears into the crowd. A few other people reach him as he moves forward into the bakery, and though he smiles and thanks everyone as he walks by, he's only interested in getting to one person at the moment.

'So,' he comes to a stop in front of Lily, grins at her as he stuffs his hands in his trouser pockets. 'You finally managed to surprise me.'

She grins. 'You have no idea how hard it was to keep this from you. You almost caught us a few times.'

He raises an eyebrow at her. 'Oh yeah? Like when?'

'Remember when we met up at Remus and Sirius' place for dinner a few weeks ago?' James nods.

'Well, we were trying to finalise the catering list, but you got there early. I'd told you that I had to work late and we were hoping that you would wait to show up until like, seven, but you still showed up at six.'

James gaps at her. 'But you — but you showed up after me?'

Lily laughs. 'I skipped out the door into the back garden and came round front. We knew if I was there when you got there that you'd start getting suspicious and then it would be — '

'Year Eleven all over again.'

Lily nods. 'Exactly.'

James shakes his head at her in astonishment. 'How did you get everyone here? Did you invite everyone?'

'Nope. Sirius and Remus reached out to everyone you guys work with regularly. I just spoke to the people I knew. We thought it might be suspicious if someone suddenly told you that they'd spoken to me when, as far as you know, we've never even met.'

'You really went for it this time, Evans.'

Lily laughs. 'Had to, didn't I? You're impossible to keep things from.'

'I can think of a few things that you kept from me, Evans.'

She freezes — it's an instant, but he definitely catches it before she relaxes. 'Like what?'

He studies her, but she must have known that he caught the flash of surprise on her face and she keeps her expression perfectly even.

'The whole "us being in love and not knowing it" thing was a pretty big secret.'

Lily laughs and James sees her relax still further. 'We were both being idiots, then, though. That doesn't count.'

'Is there anything that you can think of that would count?'

She knows that he suspects something now because she shakes her head at him. 'Go eat. Go talk to your friends.'

He laughs, loud and long, and pulls her into a hug, presses a kiss into her hair.

'Thanks, Evans.' He pulls back and holds her at arm's length. 'I'm glad you were finally able to surprise me.'

She pops up onto her toes and presses a quick kiss to his lips. 'Me too.'

He manages to let himself forget about his newly (and vaguely) formed suspicions and enjoy the party for the next few hours. The Prewetts' bakery is a fairly large space for Central London, but it's still pretty small, and so the room is loud and warm for most of the evening. Fabian cracks the front windows around seven and the cool evening air rushes in, cools the place down.

He can't remember the last time that he's had a proper party — it's been — he'd thought maybe uni, but now that he's thinking about it, he mostly just went home to have dinner with his parents before going out to the pub with Remus, Sirius, and their other friends from LIPA. The last few years he's been busy — touring or writing or something — and so it really must be that the last proper party he had is the one that Lily tried and failed to surprise him with in Year Eleven.

Poor Evans. Though, it wasn't her fault really. Emma had asked James for his home address and everything had kind of spiralled out from there.

He finds himself watching her as the evening goes by, watching the way she floats between different groups of people, laughing and making conversation. It's easy for her, moving through crowds, talking to people she's never met, finding common ground and building a conversation. He's always admired that about her, how she can talk to anyone about most anything.

She must feel him staring, because she looks over at him as she's moving towards the back of the bakery. Her cheeks are flushed with the warmth of the room, her hair is tosselled and a bit of a mess, and she is just — she is the most beautiful person he's ever seen.

He wishes he'd remembered to grab the ring before he left the house that morning.

He moves through the crowd to go talk to her — to tell her he loves her, she's brilliant and beautiful and, alright, he doesn't have the ring, but it's at home in the drawer and please — when he sees her, Remus, and Sirius move back behind the counter, grab three stools, and carry them out.

If she knows he's watching, she doesn't look up.

And then he's even more confused because Sirius steps back behind the counter and hands her a guitar — the old guitar he'd had when he was first starting out, the one he hasn't seen in the last year and a half.

Lily sits down on the stool in the centre, sets the guitar gently over her thigh. He's never seen her hold a guitar in her life and he can't, for the life of him, figure out what she's doing or how she's sitting there holding that damn pick like she knows what she's doing.

What in the hell is she doing?

Lily clears her throat, straightens her shoulders a bit, just smiles at him when he raises a confused eyebrow. There's a touch of colour on her cheeks, but whether that's more nerves, alcohol, or the heat of the room he can't tell just yet.

She clears her throat again, shifts a bit in her seat, and then James knows its nerves.

'Hi everyone,' she laughs awkwardly, and James sees a few people turn towards her out of the corner of his eye.

'So, some of you know me, but for those that don't, I'm Lily. James' girlfriend.'

A few people around them make sounds of recognition and James bites back a smile. Lily looks at him then, a slightly crooked smile on. He half shrugs and she shakes her head at him.

'Nice to see so many of you finally putting a face to the name,' she says with a laugh, turning to glance at everyone again before she looks back at James.

'Anyway, if you'll all humour me for a few minutes, I wanted to give James one more birthday surprise.'

She bites the corner of her lip as she traces his features, and he doesn't know how she's getting anything of value of it because his emotions are pinging all over the place and he's not even sure what he feels. There are too many things rolling through him to pick a dominant emotion.

Maybe confusion. Maybe anticipation.

She smiles then, this one smaller but infinitely brighter than the last, and James swears his heart climbs into his throat.

And then Lily looks at Sirius and starts tapping out the time with her foot, and James knows it has.

He can tell that she's nervous and so he isn't surprised when her voice shakes a little as she begins, but more than that, more than anything else, he's focusing on the fact that she's singing their song, the song he wrote for her. She's playing it. She's a bit pitchy and James knows that she's going to laugh, because she always laughs, about how she's kind of a shit singer, and she misses a few chords as she goes along and sometimes she stumbles over her fingers, but James can't even begin to care because she — she learnt how to play this, to play lead, and it must have taken her ages and none of the little mistakes matter because everything about it is perfect. She's perfect.

God is he in love with her.

She only allows herself to look up at the pause, that bit at the end where, still, every time, he presses his hand to his chest, and when she looks up then and her eyes find his — the smile that blooms on her face — it's everything. He's going to remember that smile for the rest of his life.

He presses his hand to his heart as she resumes her strumming and though she's watching her fingers again, he knows that she's positively beaming.

He's on his feet as soon as she's finished, crossing the lounge in three long strides. He takes her face in his hands when he reaches her, leans over the guitar, and kisses her, and he doesn't care that there's an entire room of people watching them, doesn't care that most of these people are his colleagues. All he cares about in the entire world is Lily and how fucking brilliant she is and how lucky he is and how —

'James,' she laughs against his lips and he pulls back a bit, rests his forehead against hers.

'Thank you,' he whispers, and he presses a quick kiss to her lips again. 'You're — Lily. Thank you.'

'There's one more thing,' she says, and she shifts the guitar between them and, for a moment, James thinks she's going to play something else.

But then she pulls back and looks at him and cocks her eyebrow and damn it if his heart doesn't melt all over again.

'Marry me?'

He kisses her. He kisses her because there aren't enough words for him to say just what he means, no words that will tell her everything that he's feeling, everything that he wants her to know. He kisses her and he knows that it isn't enough but he hopes that it will do.

She laughs again, 'Is that a yes?' and the sound goes through him and god he wishes they were alone because all he can think about is showing her, slowly, just how he's responding to this question of hers.

He nods, breaking the kiss, but his lips immediately find hers again.

'Yes,' he says, and he feels her lips curl into a smile between kisses. 'Yes, absolutely yes.'

The Marauders Announce Fourth Album

By Benjy Fenwick

2 August 2017

A few years ago, you might have been forgiven for saying that you didn't know The Marauders — up until 2008, the band was relatively unknown outside their small, but incredibly dedicated, following. After the release of their internationally acclaimed second album in 2008 and their astounding third in 2012, though, you would have found it nearly impossible to miss them.

Now, The Marauders have announced that, after a long (and painful) wait, they will be releasing their fourth studio album in February 2018.

'It was a long time coming,' said James Potter, the band's frontman. Though the band recorded an acoustic take on the second album in 2015, they've been out of the studio for the past few years.

'We had a lot going on in our personal lives,' Potter said, and he's not wrong. Potter married his childhood friend and long-time girlfriend, Lily Evans, in October of last year, and the band's other two members, drummer, Remus Lupin, and bassist, Sirius Black, got engaged earlier this year.

Settling into adulthood, though, seems to have been just the kicker the band needed to get back to writing again.

'I'd just gotten back from my honeymoon,' Potter said, 'and I couldn't get a few of these lines out of my head. Once I started writing them down, it was like the floodgates opened.'

Though we haven't yet heard any of the music off this new album (something that Potter assured me will be remedied 'very shortly'), Potter said that the fourth album is unlike anything they've ever written. Where previous albums rang with synthy-pop beats and catchy riffs, Potter said that this fourth album was much more organic in its creation and that that shows in the sound of the album as a whole.

'We're in a different place in our lives now,' Potter said, 'and we wanted to try and write something that is a better reflection of where we are at this point, to really capture what our lives are like now. It's definitely a change for us, but I think we're better for it. This fourth album — it's the best we've ever written.'

This confidence translated to all parts of the new album, Potter said.

'This album's definitely got a bit more swagger. We really felt it when we were writing it and so we just leaned into it.'

February cannot come soon enough.