Just an idea that was in my head and wouldn't go away. It's all dialogue
with a few key words here and there. I hope you enjoy. It should only end
up being two chapters. It would have been just one, but it was getting very
lengthy...and I'm a tad bit tired at the moment, so I cut it off. The rest
should be up in the next couple of days.
Bloody fantastic reading all!
Standard disclaimer applies.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
1 A.M.
"Ow!"
"Oomph!"
Crash.
"Oh, Bloody Hell!"
"Ow...oh, low ceiling...oh man...that's going to leave a bump..."
"Oh, Bloody Hell!"
"Ok, all body parts accounted for and seem to be in one piece. What about you?"
"Oh, Bloody Hell!"
"Good, eyes are adjusting, looks like we're stuck in a...closet? Except...lying down..."
"Oh Bloody –"
Clamp.
"Would you please stop saying that? Or I swear I'll strangle you!"
"Sorry, pet. I'm British, that's what we say when we get upset. Or landed on....Ow..."
"Oh, so now you think about the pain. Makes a ton of sense."
"Yeah, well, sorry that I'm not so quick on my feet as you, or my back as you...whatever...other things were on my mind, like what the bleedin' fuck are we stuck in anyways?"
"I don't know. It's your damn floor!"
"Well I didn't know this was here, that's for damn sure!"
"Ahh...whatever. Looks to be some sort of...horizontal closet. Do they even make those?"
Growl.
"It's called an under floor storage compartment, love."
"Ok, so how do we get out of here?"
"Don't know."
"Oh, just great. Perfect ending to an already stellar day. Fail a test then get trapped in an 'under floor compartment' with Spike."
"Glad to know I'm thought so highly of."
"Oh, shut up!"
"Nope, I think I'll keep talking, annoy you some more. Quite fun actually, you should try it some time."
Thud.
"Ow! What was that for slayer? Not like I'm trying to bite you or anything."
"Yeah, well you're getting on my nerves."
"Pish Posh, you're just looking for an excuse to touch me."
Thud.
"Ow! Stop it would you?"
"Then shut up!"
".........."
".........."
".........."
".........."
"Umm...love?"
"I thought we'd decided on no talking?"
"Yes I realize that but is there any way you can get off my lap? My legs are falling asleep."
"Sorry, there's just no room. You'll have to live with it."
"Arrgh...why do women always have to be so bloody vindictive?"
"Not vindictive, just mean."
"Either way, I get stuck with the short end of the stick here don't I? I'm the one on bottom, and you're not as light as you used to be slayer."
Thud.
"Oh, all right. That is going to have to end soon, because I'm not staying stuck in here for heaven knows how long if you're just going to smack me every few seconds!"
"Sorry, you don't have much of a choice. I'm on top, remember? I control things. So get used to it!"
Thud.
"Ow! Bloody Hell!"
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() 1:30 A.M.
"Spike?"
"Yes, love?"
"Do you think, if we screamed, someone would hear us and come get us out?"
"Not likely pet."
"What if we screamed, really, really loud?"
"Sorry, pet. But I'd like to keep my eardrums in place and Willow's not supposed to be back until tomorrow morning."
"How do you know that?"
"She's bringing me some spices."
"Spices?"
"Yeah, spices. Put them in the blood, makes it taste all tangy."
"Blech...but why is Willow getting them for you? Can't you do it yourself?"
"I don't know what they're called. And besides. She gets a discount at that magic shop so I pay half as much as I would on my own."
"Vampires...always cutting corners."
"Posh, don't tell me you've never taken advantage of a friend's discount at a clothing store?"
"Well, yes, but that's different!"
"How, love? Care to elaborate?"
"That's bargaining, not taking advantage of a poor little helpless human girl."
"Poor, little, helpless? We talking about the same witch here?"
Growl.
"Ok, Ok, backing up with hands raised. Metaphorically speaking of course."
Glare.
"How to survive being trapped in a small enclosed space with the slayer. Number one: Never call Buffy on her shopping habits."
"Spike?"
"What?"
"You just called me by my name."
"Yeah? So what?"
"I didn't know you even knew my first name..."
"Yeah, well...I notice a lot more than you think."
"I don't know if that's scary or reassuring."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, blood-thirsty monster, with lots of inside information on my friends and me? Pretty scary."
"Yeah, damn well neutered, blood-thirsty monster. I can't hurt you, remember?"
"That doesn't mean you can't be creative with the hurting in other ways."
"Who do you think I am slayer?"
"Oh, the word Vampire does come to mind."
"Bah...why do I even bother?"
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() 4 A.M.
"Spike?"
"Yes, love?"
"Umm...how long do you think we've been in here?"
"Oh, I'd say about two or three hours? Sound about right?"
Groan.
"What? Am I that bad of company?"
Louder groan.
"Well, fine. I was trying to be nice but if you're just going to spite my consideration then I'll just start trying to annoy you again."
"Oh, please..."
"It's a world of laughter, a world of tears, it's a world of hope, and a world of fears—"
Clamp.
"Gods, no. Anything but that."
"Ok, On the day the world ends, will anyone be left to help the fallen? Will there be anything, left to want to hold on to?"
"Has anyone ever told you that you have a 'to-die-for' voice?"
Smirk.
"Really now?"
"Yeah, I mean it's a little rough, but it's so sultry, I could almost melt in it."
"Well, thank you pet...I think..."
"............"
"............"
"............"
"Were you really just being nice to me?"
"Uh, yeah, I think I was....Oh God...We definitely need to get out of here....and soon!"
Chuckle.
"Come now, I'm not such bad company am I?"
"Stop asking me that. And no, actually you're growing on me rather quickly, and that's what's scaring me so much."
"Ah...pet, I'd forgotten how pig headed you are."
"I am NOT pig headed...I'm very human headed...and I'm getting very uncomfortable being this close to you..."
"Ok, so can I fanangle a position switch? My legs really are starting to kill me."
"Yeah, fine. I'm not guaranteeing anything, but maybe if I shift a bit this way, and try to slip around you like this..."
Groan.
"Spike? Spike! Earth to Spike! It's going to take a little help from you to get us out of this position. I can't move us both on my own. I'm trying to shift around like this, but my leg keeps getting caught on yours..."
Growl.
"Umm...Spike? Are you ok? You sorta look like you're in pain..."
Growl. Scatter. Whomp. Crash. Thud. Gasp.
"Ow...umm...Spike? What are you doing? And if it was going to be that easy for you to switch our positions why didn't you just do it yourself in the first place."
Stare.
"Ok...Spike? Stop staring at me please...it's giving me the heebie jeebies..."
"Slayer?"
"Yeah? And why is your voice so low?"
"Shut up."
"But why would I—"
Kiss.
Kiss.
Kiss.
Breath.
Kiss.
Kiss.
Tongue.
Kiss.
More Tongue.
Kiss.
Kiss.
Even More Tongue.
Roving hands and mouth.
Gasp.
"Ahh...ummm...Spike?"
Throaty. "Yeah..."
Sucks on neck.
"Ahh...what...what are you....doing?"
"What...what do you mean...?"
"You're...ummm....Ahhhh....ummmm....kissing me...the slayer...."
Growl.
"Buffy."
Lick.
"My Buffy."
Wide Eyes.
"Oh, bloody fuck!"
"Wha...?"
"Ow! Low ceiling...that'll leave a bump."
"Umm...Spike...what was that all about?"
"ha..ha...ha...what was....what...all about?"
"That....you just flipped me onto my back, then kissed me, then kissed my neck, then sucked on my neck...then you called me 'your buffy'...."
"Ummm...Yeah..."
"Ok... who the hell are you and what have you done with Spike?"
Awestruck.
"What?"
"You heard me. Where's the real Spike? What did you do with him? Oh Gods, do not tell me this is a body swap and you're really Xander or something because that would be so incredibly creepy...."
"What in the bleedin' hell are you talking about Slayer?"
"I'm talking about what just happened between us because normal Spike wouldn't have kissed me."
Stare.
"Well he wouldn't have."
"Well...uh..."
"Would he?"
Gulp. Nod.
"Oh God!"
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
So what did you think? Please review, I thrive off those! Brea
Standard disclaimer applies.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
1 A.M.
"Ow!"
"Oomph!"
Crash.
"Oh, Bloody Hell!"
"Ow...oh, low ceiling...oh man...that's going to leave a bump..."
"Oh, Bloody Hell!"
"Ok, all body parts accounted for and seem to be in one piece. What about you?"
"Oh, Bloody Hell!"
"Good, eyes are adjusting, looks like we're stuck in a...closet? Except...lying down..."
"Oh Bloody –"
Clamp.
"Would you please stop saying that? Or I swear I'll strangle you!"
"Sorry, pet. I'm British, that's what we say when we get upset. Or landed on....Ow..."
"Oh, so now you think about the pain. Makes a ton of sense."
"Yeah, well, sorry that I'm not so quick on my feet as you, or my back as you...whatever...other things were on my mind, like what the bleedin' fuck are we stuck in anyways?"
"I don't know. It's your damn floor!"
"Well I didn't know this was here, that's for damn sure!"
"Ahh...whatever. Looks to be some sort of...horizontal closet. Do they even make those?"
Growl.
"It's called an under floor storage compartment, love."
"Ok, so how do we get out of here?"
"Don't know."
"Oh, just great. Perfect ending to an already stellar day. Fail a test then get trapped in an 'under floor compartment' with Spike."
"Glad to know I'm thought so highly of."
"Oh, shut up!"
"Nope, I think I'll keep talking, annoy you some more. Quite fun actually, you should try it some time."
Thud.
"Ow! What was that for slayer? Not like I'm trying to bite you or anything."
"Yeah, well you're getting on my nerves."
"Pish Posh, you're just looking for an excuse to touch me."
Thud.
"Ow! Stop it would you?"
"Then shut up!"
".........."
".........."
".........."
".........."
"Umm...love?"
"I thought we'd decided on no talking?"
"Yes I realize that but is there any way you can get off my lap? My legs are falling asleep."
"Sorry, there's just no room. You'll have to live with it."
"Arrgh...why do women always have to be so bloody vindictive?"
"Not vindictive, just mean."
"Either way, I get stuck with the short end of the stick here don't I? I'm the one on bottom, and you're not as light as you used to be slayer."
Thud.
"Oh, all right. That is going to have to end soon, because I'm not staying stuck in here for heaven knows how long if you're just going to smack me every few seconds!"
"Sorry, you don't have much of a choice. I'm on top, remember? I control things. So get used to it!"
Thud.
"Ow! Bloody Hell!"
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() 1:30 A.M.
"Spike?"
"Yes, love?"
"Do you think, if we screamed, someone would hear us and come get us out?"
"Not likely pet."
"What if we screamed, really, really loud?"
"Sorry, pet. But I'd like to keep my eardrums in place and Willow's not supposed to be back until tomorrow morning."
"How do you know that?"
"She's bringing me some spices."
"Spices?"
"Yeah, spices. Put them in the blood, makes it taste all tangy."
"Blech...but why is Willow getting them for you? Can't you do it yourself?"
"I don't know what they're called. And besides. She gets a discount at that magic shop so I pay half as much as I would on my own."
"Vampires...always cutting corners."
"Posh, don't tell me you've never taken advantage of a friend's discount at a clothing store?"
"Well, yes, but that's different!"
"How, love? Care to elaborate?"
"That's bargaining, not taking advantage of a poor little helpless human girl."
"Poor, little, helpless? We talking about the same witch here?"
Growl.
"Ok, Ok, backing up with hands raised. Metaphorically speaking of course."
Glare.
"How to survive being trapped in a small enclosed space with the slayer. Number one: Never call Buffy on her shopping habits."
"Spike?"
"What?"
"You just called me by my name."
"Yeah? So what?"
"I didn't know you even knew my first name..."
"Yeah, well...I notice a lot more than you think."
"I don't know if that's scary or reassuring."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, blood-thirsty monster, with lots of inside information on my friends and me? Pretty scary."
"Yeah, damn well neutered, blood-thirsty monster. I can't hurt you, remember?"
"That doesn't mean you can't be creative with the hurting in other ways."
"Who do you think I am slayer?"
"Oh, the word Vampire does come to mind."
"Bah...why do I even bother?"
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() 4 A.M.
"Spike?"
"Yes, love?"
"Umm...how long do you think we've been in here?"
"Oh, I'd say about two or three hours? Sound about right?"
Groan.
"What? Am I that bad of company?"
Louder groan.
"Well, fine. I was trying to be nice but if you're just going to spite my consideration then I'll just start trying to annoy you again."
"Oh, please..."
"It's a world of laughter, a world of tears, it's a world of hope, and a world of fears—"
Clamp.
"Gods, no. Anything but that."
"Ok, On the day the world ends, will anyone be left to help the fallen? Will there be anything, left to want to hold on to?"
"Has anyone ever told you that you have a 'to-die-for' voice?"
Smirk.
"Really now?"
"Yeah, I mean it's a little rough, but it's so sultry, I could almost melt in it."
"Well, thank you pet...I think..."
"............"
"............"
"............"
"Were you really just being nice to me?"
"Uh, yeah, I think I was....Oh God...We definitely need to get out of here....and soon!"
Chuckle.
"Come now, I'm not such bad company am I?"
"Stop asking me that. And no, actually you're growing on me rather quickly, and that's what's scaring me so much."
"Ah...pet, I'd forgotten how pig headed you are."
"I am NOT pig headed...I'm very human headed...and I'm getting very uncomfortable being this close to you..."
"Ok, so can I fanangle a position switch? My legs really are starting to kill me."
"Yeah, fine. I'm not guaranteeing anything, but maybe if I shift a bit this way, and try to slip around you like this..."
Groan.
"Spike? Spike! Earth to Spike! It's going to take a little help from you to get us out of this position. I can't move us both on my own. I'm trying to shift around like this, but my leg keeps getting caught on yours..."
Growl.
"Umm...Spike? Are you ok? You sorta look like you're in pain..."
Growl. Scatter. Whomp. Crash. Thud. Gasp.
"Ow...umm...Spike? What are you doing? And if it was going to be that easy for you to switch our positions why didn't you just do it yourself in the first place."
Stare.
"Ok...Spike? Stop staring at me please...it's giving me the heebie jeebies..."
"Slayer?"
"Yeah? And why is your voice so low?"
"Shut up."
"But why would I—"
Kiss.
Kiss.
Kiss.
Breath.
Kiss.
Kiss.
Tongue.
Kiss.
More Tongue.
Kiss.
Kiss.
Even More Tongue.
Roving hands and mouth.
Gasp.
"Ahh...ummm...Spike?"
Throaty. "Yeah..."
Sucks on neck.
"Ahh...what...what are you....doing?"
"What...what do you mean...?"
"You're...ummm....Ahhhh....ummmm....kissing me...the slayer...."
Growl.
"Buffy."
Lick.
"My Buffy."
Wide Eyes.
"Oh, bloody fuck!"
"Wha...?"
"Ow! Low ceiling...that'll leave a bump."
"Umm...Spike...what was that all about?"
"ha..ha...ha...what was....what...all about?"
"That....you just flipped me onto my back, then kissed me, then kissed my neck, then sucked on my neck...then you called me 'your buffy'...."
"Ummm...Yeah..."
"Ok... who the hell are you and what have you done with Spike?"
Awestruck.
"What?"
"You heard me. Where's the real Spike? What did you do with him? Oh Gods, do not tell me this is a body swap and you're really Xander or something because that would be so incredibly creepy...."
"What in the bleedin' hell are you talking about Slayer?"
"I'm talking about what just happened between us because normal Spike wouldn't have kissed me."
Stare.
"Well he wouldn't have."
"Well...uh..."
"Would he?"
Gulp. Nod.
"Oh God!"
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
So what did you think? Please review, I thrive off those! Brea