Thank you for reading this self-indulgent little fic written for my best friend while she was whiling away in her last week of uni before the holiday.
If you wanna come cry over the babies with me, I'm on tumblr, just check out my profile.
There was a Christmas market every year, though Steve had yet to go to one. They weren't really a thing before the ice, and after? Well he'd tell you there wasn't any time but that would be a lie. He just didn't have the inclination is all. What's the point of going to a place crowded with couples when you're alone? Nope, in the, admittedly short, time that Steven Rogers had been awake, he had avidly avoided any and all things that would remind him about his situation. About his losses. This year was different.
They'd found Bucky a while back, he hadn't even been trying to hide anymore, not really. If he had then Steve knew without a doubt that he'd still be in the wind. But it seems with nowhere left to run, and with slowly deteriorating health, the Winter Soldier had finally come in from the cold. He'd allowed himself to be caught. And bloody hell if that wasn't the best day Steve had had in a while. Bucky was back, he might not be better per se, but he was home, albeit only in the physical sense. They found out not long into his incarceration, thinly veiled as 'care', that he may be here with them, but Bucky Barnes hadn't come home. He probably couldn't. He'd been through so much over the years, it was impossible to think that the programming would wear off that quick, and yet he'd hoped…
But that was of no matter, Bucky was back and that was the main thing. And ok yes, maybe he wasn't one hundred percent back, maybe pieces were missing and new parts jammed in their place, maybe he'd never be that kid from Brooklyn again but that was ok. It would all be ok because Steve would help however he could. He'd be there in whatever way Bucky needed him to be.
Which is how Steve ended up swaddling Bucky up in a heavy winter coat, looping a thick scarf around and around his neck whilst he looked on with his recent brand of soft in amusement.
"You know we don't need coats?" he asked, bemused though still cautious, as Steve tucked the strands of scarf into the jacket.
"It's the principal of the thing. Besides, it's the middle of winter, we'd look odd wandering around in just t-shirts" Steve grinned, pulling a beanie hat over his still overlong hair. He seemed reluctant to cut it, like he hadn't quite decided what he wanted to be to the world.
"If you say so" he muttered, a grin in his voice, muffled slightly as he tucked his chin into the thick folds of material.
"We don't have to do this Buck, not if you don't want to. Not if you're not ready" Steve hesitated, tentatively holding up a pair of dark, woollen gloves. He didn't want Bucky to feel as if he had to hide, but wearing one or no gloves would look suspicious and he just wanted a quiet night out with his best friend, not to be followed all night by cameras.
Bucky gave a tentative smile, pulling the scarf down from his face as it started to encroach over his mouth, reminiscent of the mask the Winter Soldier wore, and taking the gloves. "We'll be late" he teased in reply.
Steve grinned, like sunlight in the dark. "Alright, alright I hear you" he chuckled, throwing on his own coat and wrapping an overlong scarf around his neck, swaddled so that, between that and the hat he jammed low on his head, you could scarcely see his face from afar. Sometimes being a public figure had its downfalls. And then they were out of the door and into the night, an icy chill already encroaching on the cool air, and on their way to the fabled market.
The Christmas market was much more beautiful than he could have imagined. They passed under strings of artfully strung, beautiful blue and white lights, twinkling above them, passing back and forth between lampposts. One patch of blue threads congregated at the same lamppost, the result looking almost like a web, which he had to take a picture of for Natasha. They were more subdued than the green and red ensemble they'd seen on their way there, but no less stunning, probably more so for it. Steve itched to record the moment, draw the lights, the people, Bucky, everything.
Dozens of stalls filled the space, packed with all sort of goodies, from snow globes and ornaments to clothes to food and more. Bucky seemed bemused by the makeshift ski-lodge style stall selling drinks; beers, mulled wine and the like. People were crammed in the seats, chattering aimlessly and surrounded by bags, but that wasn't what drew Bucky's attention. Directly over the bar was a moose-head decoration, looking as if someone had mounted it over their fireplace. Except it was singing. The eyes blinked, the mouth moved and the head turned from side to side as a litany of Christmas songs fell from the speakers. It was a truly bizarre sight, one which had Bucky go from wary to snorting into his scarf in under five seconds.
"Is that what I think it is? What the hell? A singing moose? Who the hell thought that was a good idea?" he gasped out between giggles.
"Not a fan then, Buck?" Steve grinned, bumping shoulders and quietly marvelling at how relaxed Bucky was.
"You kidding me its brilliant!" he grinned, giving Steve the brightest smile he'd seen since 1944.
"If you say so" he smiled back, strangely content "Do you want to get anything now or just look around?"
"Can we look around first? I want to see everything" was his tentative answer, as he fiddled nervously with the cuff on his left sleeve.
"Sure thing Buck, I'm real interested in some of these stalls" Steve smiled, gesturing for Bucky to follow him out of the mass crowd and to the first of many stalls.
They spent an age, going from stall to stall and marvelling at the goods. There were just so many things to see, brightly coloured and beautiful and they could not get enough. And the food, that was another matter entirely. Sugared doughnuts turned out to be much messier than expected, sugar clinging to their clothes and the tendrils of Bucky's hair sticking out from under the hat. Warm waffles, covered in melted chocolate, some of which somehow ended up high up on Bucky's cheekbone, and which Steve wiped off with the pad of his thumb with barely a thought. He got a warm smile in return, melting his deer-in-the-headlights silence. He still wasn't confident in himself, not in the slightest, and he still wasn't the Bucky Barnes from their past, but Steve could see how he was starting to relax, to become comfortable in a skin which hadn't been his for around seventy years.
He was still hesitant in asking for what he wanted though. It took quite a lot of clever questioning to get that out of him, and even then sometimes he was reluctant to propose anything that wasn't Steve's idea. Which is why, when he saw him start to eye up people carrying mugs of what smelled like hot chocolate, he didn't hesitate in asking if Bucky wanted to join him in getting one. The drinks, when they arrived, were better than he could have ever imagined, thick, warm chocolate topped with marshmallows and whipped cream, given to them in large earthenware mugs, decorated with snowy landscapes. It felt cosy, like coming in from the cold and curling up on the sofa with a blanket, and boy was that analogy a touch too on the nose. Bucky's face when he first tasted the chocolate was worth any morbid thoughts flitting about in his head, pure delight written all over him, from the little quirk on his lips, to the way his shoulders relaxed. It was beautiful, Steve couldn't tear his eyes away. He all but shone with happiness, cradling his mug as they took up their lazy walk back around. It caused him to crash into people and only just avoid a number of collisions with lampposts, but he just couldn't keep his eyes away. The snorting giggle Bucky gave every time made everything just that little more worth it. Although it was his turn to laugh when they finished the drinks, and Bucky insisted on fishing out the melted marshmallow from the bottom of the mug to eat. He ended up the marshmallow, long ago melted cream and some of the drink in the loose hairs peeking out from his hat. The scowl he gave as he tried to clean himself up was priceless, he looked to Steve like a pissed off little cat, which had him laughing even harder. Eventually he did pull out a tissue and help clean where Bucky had missed, a long gentle swipe down his cheek, quietly wiping at the strands of hair as Bucky looked on, eyes almost crossed to follow the movement. Steve could have kissed him then and there. Bucky smirked, and his heart stuttered in his chest. Was he going to-?
A wet swipe down his cheek, and Bucky cackled madly, dodging out of his reach and taking off. Steve took off after him, wiping the smeared hot chocolate residue from his face as he went, chuckling along. It wasn't hard to catch up, and soon they were laughing like children, leaning against one another for support as they tried to catch their breath. Bucky looked radiant like that, carefree and happy like he hadn't been in years, like the sun breaking free from the clouds. He itched to draw him again. Instead, he slipped the stolen mugs into one of the bags they had accumulated, the spoils of their visit, trinkets mostly, and some presents for Steve's friends.
When they'd gotten their breath back, they started again in what must have been their hundredth circling of the square, still finding little things to take in on each trip. It was a wonder of being anywhere with Steven Grant Rogers, he made you look at the world, really look and take in everything there was.
They were silent for a while, settling in to their resumed pace before Steve began talking subdued, like he was embarrassed at some secret he was telling.
"I never came here before, when I woke up"
Bucky turned to him then, a little stunned, and a little distracted by the Christmas lights glinting off of his hair, still golden in the darkness, like a captured sun "How come?"
"I guess I just never really wanted to. I mean I was alone in a new time, my friends were gone, you, Peggy- well I had no one. And it, well you can see there's so many couples and I just didn't want to feel- I guess I just wanted someone to see this for the first time with me, you know. "
"I know" he smiled, slipping a hand into Steve's and gripping it tight until Steve squeezed back "But you've got me now haven't you?"
Steve turned to him, astonishment turning to an easy, happy smile "Yeah Buck, I do"
"It sure is beautiful Stevie" Bucky sighed, eyes skimming over the market before landing back on him.
"Yeah" he breathed, not looking away.
"You really are an idiot you know that?"
"Huh"
Bucky tugged his arm, bringing their interlaced hands up "All this time and you're still not going to make your move?"
"Buck I-"
"You said it yourself Steve, people don't care these days, you said it was safe to love who you wanted"
"And it is but Buck, what if-" his reply was cut off as Bucky tugged him in by the ends of his scarf, until their faces were mere inches apart. The kiss felt like coming home, all warmth and happiness, the taste of hot chocolate and the joy of Christmas. It was seventy years of separation and the joy of reunion. Two people who were both a bit broken, but maybe together they could finally start to rebuild the shattered pieces.
"Steve?" Bucky breathed as they parted, keeping close enough still to breathe each other in. Heads bend together in a warm little world of their own.
"Yeah?" Steve rumbled.
"The moose is watching us" he grinned, and kissed him again.
They barely let each other go for the rest of the night.