Title: Rebuilding
Author: Kora
E-mail: KrazyKoraaol.com or WinterViolet24aol.com
Rating: R
Summary: Set after RAW 6/28/04, Kane and Lita have a little chat…
Disclaimer: The following characters belong to WWE and all the people and companies who deal with all that legal stuff. I am simply using the characters for my own twisted enjoyment.
Author's Notes: This is a sequel to 'Deconstruction' - which, thanks to the lovely people at FF.net glowers, is no longer here - however, you can find it here:
Intensity, my WWE Fan Fic Page: links should take you directly to the story, just cut and paste into your browser - it is adult rated though, so keep that in mind. This tale can be read without out reading 'Deconstruction' but I think it makes more sense and is more - for lack of a better word - full, if you read it first.
Also, might I add, I was evilly gleeful that Kane did not chokeslam Lita on 6/28/04 edition of RAW. Most people theorized that he would chokeslam her and thus cause her to lose the baby but I hoped he had more sensibility than that and - brava, what do you know - he did.
That doesn't mean that down the road he won't be the cause of her losing the child but for now I am happy that he restrained himself - because, as I have said before, I can't help but like the evil lug - he's a good villain and I find him fascinating. Hence these fics - oh, and once more, Matt/Lita fans may want to stay away - while I don't bash the M/L ship, nor make Matt out in a bad light per say, I still don't think a Matt/Lita fan would like it - consider yourself warned.
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"Matt?! Come on, Matt - I know you were just here…please pick up your phone…please?" Lita waited with bated breath, running a hand through her hair. She couldn't seem to stop trembling. Only minutes ago she'd faced Kane in the ring - almost been choke slammed, and now here she was panting into her cell phone hoping to finally get a hold of her long standing boyfriend, Matt Hardy.
He'd come out earlier too, attacked Kane - she had taken this as a good sign. She had hoped tonight, by fooling Kane after his match with Benoit, she could some how show Matt her loyalty, show him how much she still loved him…
Yet again Matt Hardy's cell phone message played, his tone cheery, "Hello, this is Matt Hardy, I can't answer at the moment but please leave a message - on my Version. 1 cell phone - and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."
Lita groaned in defeat and hung up. She'd heard that message at least one hundred times a day, even more so this evening, after seeing him come out. She had seen his face when he'd tackled Kane to the ground - furious. He had to forgive her…
She looked into the oval face mirror before her. It was surrounded by lights that danced off her skin, made her look tanner. It was currently the only source of light in her whole dressing room - almost everything shrouded in darkness. She didn't want to look at the lockers, at the piles of messy clothes she'd left everywhere - crumpled up McDonald's bags and empty water bottles …
She fought the urge to cry again, tears threatening to spill over. She had sworn to herself not waste her tears on Kane and what he did to her - what he made her to. But for Matt she'd cry a thousand oceans. Her face was almost always glistening these days, awash with a new sheen of tears. Stacy tried her best to console Lita, but she simply wasn't good enough.
It was times like this that she missed Trish, wished the blonde hadn't turned into such a backstabbing slut. What was happening to her these days? First her neck injury, then Jeff leaving, then her and Matt breaking up, losing her best friend in Trish and then the joy of getting Matt back again only to lose him because of her own stupidity. Because of Kane.
She heard her dressing room door creak open quietly and she buried herself into her hands, muttering from behind them, "Stace - now is really not a good time."
"Did you think that was funny?"
The gruff voice caught her off guard and she gasped, her head lifting from her hands and turning sharply to see Kane standing there. He shut the door behind him just as quietly, his towering frame visible but his face hidden in the murkiness of her room and for a split second she was transported back in time, to that hotel room…
She shuddered and pushed herself back to the present. Kane's different colored eyes seemed to glow from out of the dimness - especially the white blue one - both of them narrowed as he stood staunchly, hands fisted, "That little stunt you pulled, did you think it was funny. You know how I feel about people laughing at me…"
"Fuck you," she breathed between clenched teeth as she turned back to face her mirror, resting one elbow on the desk it rested on, her head resting into her propped up hand. A sniffle came form her nose, "Fuck you and your feelings. I don't give a shit."
"Now, now - is that anyway to talk to the father of your child?"
"It might not be yours. It might be Matt's. Remember?" She tossed in, hazel eyes narrowed in the mirror. She could bearly make him out in the background, his legs and fists discernible but not much else.
The air felt stoic still and she knew he was mad. But yet again, as he'd done in the ring, he managed it herd it in albeit more gracefully this time. His tone was surprisingly cool, "Trying to get me angry again?"
"What if I am?" she returned wearily, her hand falling away from her head to rest on the desk before her, the other hand rising up to join its twin so she could look down at her nails, "What does it matter, huh?"
Kane didn't breathe a word and Lita's eyes closed, pain rolling through her until her face contorted with the hurt of it, her voice a tight whine as she hissed, "I hate you. Do you understand?! I fucking hate you! You've ruined my life!"
"Listen to you," Kane scowled, "You make me sick! You sit there and whine about your precious boyfriend Matt Hardy and your precious 'ruined' life - what about the life inside you, huh? What about my baby? My son or daughter - did you even think about that when you went into the ring and pissed me off! Thank god one of us has a brain - if I had choke slammed you, what then?! You would have lost the baby! Are you so selfish that you'd have me kill your unborn child just so you can avoid the hassle?"
Lita's eyes squeezed shut tighter. She fought the urge to turn and rage at him, to pound on him with her fists. She knew couldn't. Because she knew those fists were better directed at herself. Because he was right. Dammit - he was right.
She had hardly thought of the baby at all. She'd kept looking at it as a nuisance - as a mistake. Maybe it was a mistake, but it was still a child. She should love it. She should be an unconditionally loving mother like her own was instead of…
She'd risked losing it tonight. And for what? To get Matt back? If only Kane had left them alone, if only he'd let Matt propose to her and marry her, if only she had been able to carry off the child as his…
It could still be. Oh god, what if it was Matt's and she'd been out there trying to pick a fight with Kane and had lost it! Matt would have really taken her back then,. Really loved her…
She felt a sob break through as she opened her eyes, blurry gaze on her nails again, "Don't you get it? I love Matt! I need him - there's no life without him. He is my life, without him I'm just…I just…I can't do this."
"Yes, you can," Kane growled, still livid, "Don't you remember what I told you? Don't you remember why I chose you? You're strong, Lita. You're durable. Not just because you wouldn't break beneath me in my bed, but because of your demeanor - because of who you are. You're strong enough to carry this baby and make it through life without Matt Hardy - and if you don't see that, then maybe I was wrong about you. But then your little act tonight was a pretty good way to show me how wrong I was…or maybe that was just some leftover hysteria, pregnancy hormones and all of that shit. Hmm?"
Lita didn't answer, just shook her head as another sniffle broke out of her. He continued, "You have a pretty poor memory, Lita. About that night and what happened…"
"I remember it! I have nightmares about it!" she barked.
"Oh do you? Funny, I seem to recall you having a good time. When I had my interview, with good ol' 'barbecue -me-twice' JR, I told him and your ever-loving audience that I took every precaution to make sure you got pregnant. I did that for you, you know. After all, I bet your adoring fan base wouldn't be so much so if they knew what really happened. If they knew how much you loved it."
Lita shivered, and wrapped her arms around herself as memories from that night flashed back to her unbidden. He had told her he didn't need a condom, that she was on the pill and safe and that he wanted her to feel him. And she'd been so clouded with lust that she'd…let him. If only she'd been thinking…
But she hadn't been, she hadn't been because of the way he was when he made lov…when they had had sex…
It was all lust, she had rationalized later. Lust leftovers from her time absent from Matt. But she knew that wasn't the truth, and just thinking it made her want to vomit. Not that she needed much provocation these days thanks to the baby inside her…
She ran a hand over her stomach, and bit her bottom lip. Her mind speaking to the child inside. I'm sorry sweetie, so sorry about what I did tonight, About what could have happened. I promise I'll never do it again. Whoever you belong to - whoever is your daddy, know that I'll love you regardless. I love you.
And for a second she was shaken by the realization of how much she truly did love the baby growing inside of her. Even if Kane had sired it, she could never look at it as a monster. As an abomination. Whoever was the father - Matt or Kane, it was still half hers. And she would carry it, and love it…
She found herself turning in her seat, her eyes rising up to Kane's and there it was - the briefest glimmer of what she had seen in the hotel room for a split second. The thing she had tried to rub out form her memory the most. That soft look. The one he'd given her after she'd kissed him, before he'd…
And just like that night, it was thankful gone in just an instant, eyes hard and voice tight-edged once more, "I also told ol' JR about what I wanted…an offspring. Something normal, something to mold in my image. But that's not all I want…at least, not any more…" His eyes were even more piercing now and she felt her eyes widened, shock tingling throughout every vein in her body.
No.
No, he couldn't possible mean…couldn't think…
"Like I said, I think I remember that night in the hotel better than you do, the way we were together…the kiss that you gave me…"
""It was nothing!" she cried, fury rallying inside her, "Don't lie to me! Don't pretend that you want me! That's bullshit! All I was to you was a breeding whore! Matt loves me-"
"Don't you mean 'loved'?"
"NO! He loves me! He does, after everything we've been through, after everything I sacrificed…he'll be back. He will."
"Whatever you say."
"Fuck you!"
He sighed, as if tired…or bored, "Look, You don't have to do this alone, Lita. I almost hurt you in the ring tonight because you made me angry - but that won't ever happen again. I can promise you that. I'll protect you, and our baby…if you let me."
He remembered how it had felt when she'd run down to the ring smiling, when she'd lifted his hand and his insides darkened. He'd been a fool to hope…to actually believe that she might…
He was a monster.
But still he waxed over and over that night in the hotel room. Everything had gone according to plan - his deconstruction of her flawless. And yet…she had said his name with such passion. And he'd turned away. And she'd turned him back, kissed him…
No, no - it was impossible. It would never happen and he hardend his heart to it for the millionth time. It had been a dream - and imaging. He was a freak, a beast, one of the most hated wrestlers in the WWE. He would never be loved and normal and happy, he would just be the monster…
Lita shook her head again and ran her hands through her red hair, then stuck a few strands behind her ears as she breathed in the cool air, "What? Huh? You want me, you, and the baby to be a merry little family? Well let me just tell you, it's not going to happen. I listened to that interview with JR, you went out to ruin my life and you did, all so you could get an offspring. Well let me tell you now, this baby - may be yours and it may be Matt's, I don't know but one thing I know for sure is that it is mine. And yes…I made a huge mistake tonight and almost cost my baby its life but I can promise you that that will never happen again."
She felt her backbone returning, the back of her hand scrubbing away at dry and fresh tears, leaving her face raw as she spoke proudly, "I don't need your protection - I…I don't even need Matt's protection. I will take care of this baby, I will raise it and I will love it no matter what…and you, you go on about how selfish I am - you just want to take this baby and make it into a miniature version of you that's…what? Normal! Nothing you do is normal - you're not normal so you're child, if molded under your tutelage, won't be normal. Maybe not as ugly as you, sure, but certainly not normal - looks have nothing to do with whether or not you're normal - look at Triple H! Handsome guy but an egomaniac - totally not normal!"
She shook her head, hands dropping away as she narrowed her eyes at him challengingly, "No, you used me and you got what you wanted - I'm knocked up, but there's only a fifty-fifty chance my child is yours and even then…"
She looked back in the mirror and drew in another breath, a small smile forming on her face that brightened the room better than any lights, "This baby is mine."
Kane didn't say a word, but he didn't have to. Much to her disgust she could feel his…pleasure. She remembered more from the hotel room that he thought, more than she would like to admit. She remembered how he'd spoke of admiring her strength and how, whenever she showed it, he knew he'd made the right choice. How he liked it. The fiery redhead.
And she was certainly that now as she rose to her feet and gathered her things, ignoring him as she spoke off handedly, "I need to go get some rest. Too much excitement for the baby this evening. I should have thought of that but…well, I guess you have shown me the error of my ways. I'll try and be more motherly in the future. Besides, Matt might be there waiting for me. Or he might call. For the sake of my child, I won't make myself sick worrying over it - I won't have to. Matt came out tonight, he attacked you. He loves me. He will be back and everything will work out fine."
She faced him, her eyes boring into his, "I'm not afraid of you anymore Kane, I never will be again. You won't lay a finger on me while I carry this child that may be yours and you won't lay a finger on me after. Everything is going to work out my way. You got me?"
"Sure, sure," he whispered, his whole demeanor lethal in its silence, "But let me just ask you, what do you think your fans would think if they knew the truth…if they knew how much you loved that night, loved what I did to you…"
Lita's tongue moved around in her mouth as she thought, sticking to one side of her cheek as she answered blithely, "All right, I'll play fair - I did love that night. I did love what you did to me. But you know what? I don't love you. I don't even like you. And I never will. Now if you'll excuse me…"
Lita pushed past him and went out into the hall. Leaving him alone in her room. He looked into her mirror, and then turned into the shadows of her room, looking off in the direction she'd just left in, "We'll see about that."