A/N Update: So I went back to the beginning and I was able to notice how much I have evolved as a writer and how much the story has grown. I had the urge to rewrite this first chapter because I am no longer happy with it and it's the first impression people get of this story. However, I decided not to because it's a reminder of the beginning to now. So I want to say thanks to all who have stuck by this story and to the new readers I encourage you to read on it gets better… I promise :)

A/N: Okay, so this is my first fanfic. I got the idea for the plot from a dream. The first chapter is a little short but I hope you enjoy it. Chapter 2 will be up shortly.

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly

I can't pretend
I need to defend
some part of me from you
I know I've spent some time a-lying

Chapter 1: Thoughts of You

She had been having these thoughts for a while now. Thoughts about him. Unnatural, uncharacteristic thoughts, like how good he looked working a camera, how well he now filled out his damn polo shirts and even how hot he looked when she would piss him off. That last one was her favorite. She grinned at the various memories.

Wait what? I hate the nub, right? She questioned herself.

I just like to torture him mercilessly for fun. Yeah that was it. It was just fun, she reassured herself.

No it's not you REALLY enjoy it. "Okay shut up brain!"

I cannot have feelings for him. I just can't! It's impossible! She desperately tried to convince herself.

"Denial" is not just a river in Utah, ya know! She was doomed!

She lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling in a dreamlike state. A million thoughts raced through her head. She felt like a hundred pound cylinder block replaced her stomach and her heart did a few flips. It dawned on her and acceptance seeped into every pore of her body. Everything she knew began to take on new shapes with this newfound information. It was like looking through new eyes, like when you walk down the same path and suddenly notice a tree that has always been there yet you never noticed. Realizing its existence makes you see the path in a new light. There was no denying it anymore. What use did it do to lie to herself about it? None whatsoever! Nope, sometime over the years she managed to develop feelings for her nerdy, dare she say, best friend.

"Uuuuugghh," she groaned.

How the hell did this happen? Someone up there must be having a hell of a laugh at my expense, she thought. She tried to wrap her head around the insane concept that she, Samantha Puckett, was in love with none other than Fredward Benson. She couldn't pinpoint when these feelings began to change from platonic to romantic, all she knew was that as of late they had reached an irrepressible level. Constantly threatening to betray her. It was like all her repressed feelings had decided to rebel and declare mutiny on her. Stupid feelings!

The idea wasn't completely in the realm of impossibility; after all they had been spending a lot more time together, more so when Carly began dating Steven. With Carly busy with Steven they had naturally gravitated towards each other. They hung out a lot, no longer needing Carly to be the person whom connected them. They were now best friends. Hmm when did that happen? Over the last couple months they had also grown closer. They didn't talk much about personal family issues but they did manage to have real conversations and that was a major deal in itself. Unfortunately, Steven turned out to be a lying, cheating bastard and she figured they'd soon be back to being a trio. Not that she was complaining, she loved Carly and wouldn't mind having her around all the time but part of her wondered if her relationship with Freddie would continue on this new path or go back as well. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at that thought.

Recognizing her feelings for Freddie didn't mean things were going to change because let's face it Sam was still Sam and there was no way in hell she was going to put herself out there without some idea about how he felt or if he even felt anything at all. I need to know, she thought. The looming thought that Freddie was still pining away for Carly was not something she would or could ignore. She had noticed that he no longer threw himself at her at any given chance but it wasn't enough. She needed to be sure.

Sam decided to go about things in a clever way. Her mind began scheming ways to bait answers out of him without making herself vulnerable. Trying to come up with a plan was harder than Sam expected. It was too confusing. She felt transparent and every idea she came up with wasn't good enough. Carly will see right through it or worse Freddie! Subtlety was key to making this work. She had to be subtle but Sam was anything but subtle. Crap. Her moves were gonna have to be carefully devised. Most of her early afternoon was spent laying, staring in deep thought, however it was not a waste she decided that there was no need for anything drastic. All she had to do was tone down the verbal and physical abuse and up the conversation levels. It's perfect, she mused and couldn't help but smile at her genius. She got up and left her bedroom, it was time to set her plan in motion.