The woman was nutty. I'll give her that. With wide, dreamy, blue eyes she looked up at me from her spot on the ground, at my feet. The sky above was a dark greenish color and the wind whipped violently through my blonde hair, making it hard to see her down there. She was shocked, though it was masked by her eccentric expression. Her small pink lips were pursed in a questioning stance and her eyes were ablaze with a dare, a dare that the devil in my ear was egging me on to finish, to do.
What are you going to do about it?
At my feet she made a move to stand, but her fragile pale legs didn't respond. And I, I just stood there. I didn't help her, I didn't move. The fractured thought of helping her crossed my mind, but that would open the door for conversation and then I'd have to respond. If I responded then we would talk and what would I say to her? If I were mean what would she do, would she expose my secret, would she expose me or would she cry? Merlin I hate it when women cry. I can't stand it. But if I were nice that would ask of more questions. Before I could even decide, I was halfway bent down to help her. Pausing for a brief second, my decision was made and I gathered her in my arms and hoisted her up.
"I can do it," she muttered mostly to herself. I didn't speak to her, but lifted her with ease from the Cliffside and carried into the small cabin in the woods. Severus had given me the place to hide in and I've been here for months on end. As far as I remembered Lovegood had been locked away in the family dungeons for quite some time. How did she manage to get out? How did she get here? And why Merlin, oh why the bloody hell me!
Setting her down on the small couch near the fireplace I glanced at her. Her silken blonde hair was matted with dirt and her pale face was smeared with sweat and other unmentionable things. I inwardly sighed, knowing now my shirt was most likely ruined. With a heavy groan I headed for the kitchen to get a cloth for the girl. I had so many questions but I refrained from asking them, silence seemed better at this moment than anything else.
I like order in my life. With order I can see exactly what is coming, what is next. With order I can lay down my day, my routine with ease. Lovegood dropping from the sky and almost falling off the cliff was anything but orderly. Now, instead of hiding away and trying to preserve what little self-preservation I have left, I'm stuck with Lovegood bleeding out all over my furniture. Yes, this is anything but orderly.
My first thought is to ask her what happened. But I choked back the impulse as I washed away the blood from her skin. Her eyes were full of fire, full of questions that she bit back as she watched me. My second thought came as I was nearly done. Why was I doing this? The question was pounding in my ears as I wiped away the last of the staining red and stood up. Her eyes showed such thanks that I turned away from her. We had not spoken since she had arrived and the un-bearing weight of silence was beginning to grow heavier and heavier until she spoke.
"Thank you," was the quiet whisper her voice replayed into the air. I nodded in response, heading away from her into the kitchen. Brushing the rag off in the kitchen I sighed and looked at the window that had created a glare, mirroring my image in the glass. Of all people it was Lovegood to arrive here, Loony Lovegood that is. That woman, however crazy she was, was the only woman that had ever caught my attention long enough to hold it.
It had been a sunny day in the spring sometime before all of this had begun. I myself had already pulled myself into a mess and thus I began to calculate every action I had done. My weak attempts at killing Dumbledore had brought my heart heavy and as I sat in the shade of a tree by the lake, I stared so blatantly at Longbottom as he collect so sample of something in the waters' edge. I hadn't even noticed Lovegood sitting above me in the tree when I had sat down, but when she suddenly came sprawling out into my lap when she had gracefully dove from the highest branch. However as graceful the dive, the landing was anything but.
I was angry at first. Angry that some loony woman came sprawling out into my lap from diving from the tree but that anger soon went away when she stood up and tucked blonde hair behind her ear.
"I'm so sorry Draco," she muttered. I glowered at her.
"What in Merlin's name did you think you were doing?"
"Oh I was-nothing," she corrected herself. I glared at her again and leaned back against the tree.
"Go on then," I muttered to her after she stared at me. But she didn't move, she stood at my feet and stared.
"What?" I snapped.
"Something's troubling you," she said. That caught me off guard. No one knew, no one!
"What," I spluttered ungracefully.
"You're eyes," she said, coming closer, "There are heavy circles underneath them and your skin is pale."
"I'm a pale person," I said coolly.
"Sickly pale Draco?" she questioned, "Draco there is something wrong."
"Go away."
There. There was a memory I couldn't get rid of. Even through all the darkness I had been in, I could not shake the memory of her falling from the tree onto my lap. The woman was nutty, as I've said. But what was worse was the way she just kept weaseling her way into my life all seemingly by accident. When I was suffering, there she was, when I was alone and feeling miserable-well misery sure as hell loves company doesn't? I couldn't find relief from her three months later, not even in my sleep for she invaded my precious dreams. My precious dreams revolved around the woman that wandered the halls with no shoes. Then, it happened-I was caught completely off guard by her.
"Draco, don't you think we'll get in trouble?" she whispered as she followed me. I smirked.
"Where's the fun without the risk?" I answered slipping behind a statue and into a secret passage way.
"Draco, Harry will find us," she whispered, feeling the walls for direction. Her hand brushed mine and clasped around it. I was shocked.
"Let's not talk about Harry," I ground out, "Now shh, we're almost there."
I led the way as we descended a flight of stairs and felt the crisp cool air.
"Draco, this is a bad idea," she said uneasily. I rolled my eyes.
"This is my idea of fun," I answered, tugging her along the castle walls in the dark, "Besides I think you'll like this."
Just as I said that, the night sky lit up with tiny glowing lights. Luna dropped my hand at the sight and gasped. I leaned against the wall as she walked between the tiny bugs that lit the night sky. A dreamy smile spread across her face.
"So?"
"It's wonderful Draco! How did you know about this?"
"Being cunning has its' advantages you know," I smirked. Suddenly there was a change in her and I was uneasy. I'd seen that look in Pansy's eyes more than once. This was it and she was falling for me. I backed away, but the wall caught me.
"Luna," I whispered as she closed the space between us. My heart was beating so loud I'm sure she heard it.
"Draco," she said, "Don't tell me you haven't felt it too."
"Luna, please," I begged, "I have, but Luna you don't want to fall for me-"
"Why not?"
"I have to be honest Luna. I'm not the worst or the best but you need to know. I'm going to break your heart-"
"You wouldn't-"
"Yes Luna I would. Luna I might tear you apart, I'm not easy to please. I don't want to hurt you and I know I'm only going to break your heart-"
"Draco you never would-"
"Yes I would! Don't try to evade it! I've got a problem with misbehaving-"
"Then I'll take that chance."
"No Luna-" but I was cut off with her soft li-
I groaned aloud and threw a glass against the wall, listening to it break. This was Karma no doubt. This, her falling here is Karma for me breaking her heart. I told her, I warned her! And yet she looked so shocked the night I fled from the castle. Her wide blue eyes had filled with tears then and she looked at me with the utmost pain I've ever seen. I told her though, I didn't deceive her like I had everyone else. She knew that I would hurt her. And now, months after I had failed to kill Dumbledore, here was that woman in my little house. Karma had a funny way of getting me.
She had been so fragile then, and now she was worse. How she had gotten here I would have never known. What happened to her was a question I refused to ask. I paced the kitchen, thinking about what I was going to do next. I had kept the secret from her in Hogwarts, and she thinks I'm the monster now. I want to convince her otherwise, but that would be foolish as well. I fiddled with the ring on my finger, the one that held my pensive. In there were all my Hogwarts memories that didn't belong to her. I hadn't let her memories go, but I could never figure out why.
I clung to her memories like a lifeline for months now. I clung to them and the hope that I'll be safe for a year as the war blew over. Maybe that's why she had landed here. Her memories where still in her mind and mine in my head so when she wanted somewhere safe she thought of me. How foolish.
Sighing, I headed back out into the living area, only to find the couch empty. Blinking, I rubbed my eyes and stared at the couch. She was there! She was there! I saw her! I fixed her! I stared at the blood on my shirt, trying to figure out if it was just an illusion or if she really had been there. The blood on my shirt was real, it was a real stain on the cloth. The stains on the couch were damp and I touched them, hoping that somehow she would reappear. Where did she go! How did she flee so quickly? I sat down where she had lay, not caring for the blood to stain my pants and hung my head in my hands. She had disappeared into thin air. Staring at the ground, there was a tiny slip of paper and (if I hadn't been so meticulous in cleaning) it would have looked like it had fallen out of my pocket. But it was there and it did not belong to me, so I picked it up and turned it over. A tiny crescent moon was stamped on the bloodstained outside. Luna.
Draco, It read, I know this letter will come as a shock, but I probably won't send it. Here I am, sitting in your family's dungeon thinking about how at one time I thought I'd be the Lady of this place. How ironic it is that I once wanted to be mistress to such a dark place! Oh, but please don't take offense, from what little outside I've seen I'm sure your home is quite beautiful. I'm trying to take up time sitting here. There's no real importance to this letter I suppose, just to tell you I think about you a lot. And I think about how you were right. I was foolish and in love Draco. You're a cruel man and I know that now. If I ever get out of here I'd probably slap you. But lets face it, how are my chances looking now?
I don't mean to speak of the negative-I think the dark is getting to me. What I'm trying to tell you is that, even though you broke my heart, I can't let go of your memories. I've tried many times to forget you, but being trapped in the dark here, you're memories are the only light I can see right now. Funny coming from me of all people, right? Truth is, you did break my heart like you said, but I just can't let go. You need my help Draco, and you keep me grounded so I don't just float away (or climb to high in a tree). You keep me grounded just as much as I lift you. I don't think I'll ever be able to let go.
With that said, I find it easier to see if you can let go. That's why Draco, I wrote you this letter. You see, this letter isn't just a letter Draco; it's a magic spell. It's a memory spell, tailored specifically to me in someone's memory. Don't drop it just yet Draco for if you pick it up again, the letter will be blank. Just read to the end. As I was saying, you've touched it and once you let go, your memory of me will be completely gone. My memories of you though will remain intact. I think it's easier this way. You're going down a road that I don't want to be on and even in memory I can't be there. You'll make it through; I know you will. I just want you to let go of me Draco, let go. I know you've probably kept my memories in your head. I know I'm not in your ring pensive. If I am, then this will just be blank, but I have a feeling I'm not.
So this is goodbye Draco. Take care and be careful from now on. And remember Draco, just because you've let go (by force) doesn't mean I will too. You'll be in my memory for forever. Goodbye.
With a sorrowful Love,
Luna