And I Love You

If you're asking if I need you, the answer is forever. If you're asking if I'll leave you, the answer is never. If you're asking what I value, the answer is you. If you're asking if I love you, I do."

"And I love you."

Choices… a hundred million choices one can make. A hundred million mistakes.

It's quite… overwhelming, if you think about it. Life is a constant tug-of-war, choosing the right decision, and the wrong… every day. There is no in-between, and no take-backs.

So… how do you know if the big things, the big choices, are right?

Ellis didn't always know. But he did know… home was here. Home was where he felt a breath of peace, where he could relax and laugh and talk like he could talk about anything! The place where it felt like the chains of life were shattered and he could fly… fly like the angel he was. Dance, dance like the dreamer he couldn't ever not be.

And honestly?

He could hardly believe it.

Choices… a hundred million choices one can make. A hundred million mistakes.

Lain hated to know that way too many of those choices had been mistakes. Misdeeds he could never be forgiven of.

He was a monster. A carnivore. They were right; he was a lion laying down with a lamb.

The little hands and huge eyes of the little boy reaching for a hug, revealing a trust so firm he wouldn't understand if it had been betrayed… Lain knew the question.

When would the lion eat the lamb alive?

When would he eat him alive?

Choices… a hundred million choices one can make. A hundred million mistakes.

Maybe for once, the choice was right. Correct. What it was meant to be.

Because when the little boy had asked, Lain couldn't say no. Because despite the monster he was, the innocence, the hope, the love, despite how fragile he knew it was, it could not be refused.

And even so… more than anything he wanted to say yes. Wanted to say: "I love you."

So somehow it happened; a choice.

The lamb lay down with the lion- even though he very much knew he could be devoured alive.

And said: "I love you."

And I love you… the lion thought.

The lion thought, no, he knew… eventually, it would have to happen. Eventually the lamb would realize the monster he lay with and flee.

Lain knew it had to happen.

But little did he know the lamb knew. Ellie could see every dark corner of the man he had chosen as his. He knew that when the lion roared, he would cower. He knew that the lion would believe that made him a monster.

But he would plead to be realized, plead for his father, for the lion, for Lain to see he was still there.

"I love you." And he couldn't change that. "I love you… don't leave. Don't leave me. I love you." He'd cry, his lion would have to stay. Please… He needed his lion, his warrior, his protector.

And I love you…

It was scary, no, horrifying, at times when Lain realized he could snap the child in half with his pinky finger. To know Ellie, his lamb, his child, could be hurt, could be killed so easily… by his own hand.

He knew.

He could kill the boy before the child knew what was happening, but what was worse?

He imagined there would be a look of betrayal in those huge, glittering, honey brown eyes.

But he knew… those eyes wouldn't be betrayed. They'd be confused. They'd say: "I love you…?"

And I love you…

Ellis liked to think the world was much more simple than people made it out to be. There was right and wrong, there was good and bad, and people made mistakes for which they could be forgiven.

Simple as that.

There was heartbreak, pain, and depression… but it all could be fixed with true love, a huge, a smile and a: "I love you."

But it wasn't always that easy to fix.

Lain had stepped much to far into the darkness many too many times. He'd snapped necks of children, he'd made people bleed and hurt so much because he had been told to, forced to. But he knew. He could have made a choice, he could have given his life before taking theirs.

He couldn't be fixed. At least, not that fast, not that easy. Because for all the lives he'd broken and stolen, ruined and shattered he couldn't be forgiven, and even if he could, the pain he knew he brought… he couldn't ever forgive himself. No matter what anyone said.

No matter how many times "I love you!" was spoken by his lamb.

And I love you…

Ellis had a tendency to get hurt. The child seemed gentle and sedentary, but if you truly payed attention to him, you'd realize he was more rough-and-tumble than even the rowdiest of children. He was the child who would jump from ten feet up to see if he could land it like his awesome Aunt Jacey.

And… he couldn't always land it.

That was another thing to recall. The kid's pain tolerance and sheer ability to never break anything was shocking. Even now.

"N-no I'm fine." He whimpered, hiding his face from a concerned Lain, who rumbled. "I-I'm fine."

"Ellis, let me see."

The child hesitantly removed his hands, letting his father tip his chin to see the boy's face. Huge honey eyes cinched into a neat almond shape were lined with the thickest, longest curtain of inky black lashes imaginable. His nose was splashed with a perfect spacing of light freckles that looked more like glitter, his lip bit by pearly white teeth and his round face coming to a neatly pointed chin. He was a gorgeous child, only blemished by a massive scar inching from his hairline across hid eyebrow and nose, curling under his chin and mirrored on the other side. Although shocking, it was nothing unusual for him.

What was unusual was the blood falling like a curtain across his entire face. Lain growled, wiping the red out of his boy's eyes. "What happened?"

"Well, ah, mm, I- so, I-I wanted to be like… like… you guys and I found a knife… a dagger, really. I'm pretty sure it was a dagger. So I was practicing b-but I made a mistake and… b-but I was doing okay, I mean, not perfect, b-but Aunt Jacey won't teach me to use sharp things yet…" he mumbled in that soft British accent of his, to which Lain sighed.

"Ellis," he grunted. "You're alright. It was a mistake," he said, knowing his son would start rambling incessant apologies soon. "Let me see it."

Ellis hesitantly handed his father the knife, which was indeed a dagger, but not just any dagger. Lain growled. David… well, he was in a lot of trouble; you do not leave sharp things where children can reach them. Especially Lain's children.

Ellie hid his face again, his hands as red as his face, stained by the blood. Lain took the boy's hands, trying to ignore the blood transferring to his own. It was his biggest fears, or one of them. To have his baby's blood on his hands. He knew it was out of context, but he couldn't help but feel his heart constrict a bit.

"I-I'm sorry… I'm sorry. I'm sorry." The little brunette choked, trying not sob as his dad rose, hoisting his little boy on his hip and carrying him towards the small medical station to clean off his face. The cut itself was long but shallow, starting on his forehead above his right eyebrow and running down his cheek. Lain cleaned it out, bandaging up the child and washing his boy's hands before his own.

"Ellis, sh, you're alright." He rumbled gently.

Ellie wiped furiously at his eyes, "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Lain pursed his lips, drawing his son into a hug, knowing that was just who Ellie was. When he felt bad for something, the only thing the child could process to say was "I'm sorry."

"Ellis, you're alright."

Tears bubbled in his eyes as he hid his face in Lain's neck. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry… I love you."

"And I love you."

And I love you.

Author's Note:

...

...

SOOOO

I'm NOT abandoning my other stories. Loooong story short, I've gotten progressively sicker and writing is not nice on my brain. XD But writing this is the first solid thing I've written in a while! So that's a step back to my stories!

NOW. The actual story. It's based off two characters from a YJ roleplay. Ellis is mine (...he's my baby) and Lain is sweethoneyjazzeuphoria's. Buuuut we just call 'er Jazz. XD Lain is Ellis' foster dad, and he's going to be adopting Ell asap. ;) Lain belongs to a Gotham gang, the Gang of Cs, and Ell... well, looong story how he ended up fostered by a big, scary, gang-member and ex-Underground Fighter. XD (Who's a total teddy-bear at heart)

Now will I ever continue? I dunno... I might drop one-shots of the entire gang here or just continue And I Love You." I dunno. :D Just know I'm working on updating other stories too. ;)

~Universe