I'm hurting her. She isn't making a single sound but I know I'm hurting her. The agony on her face says it all. I'm waiting for her to say something, anything, that might show me that she's my pink haired teammate. But nothing happens.

I don't get her, not at all. She doesn't scream, shout, cry, smile, laugh… she doesn't do ANYTHING. Her features show no sign of any emotion. And it confuses me and angers me to no extent. She acts so aloof and cold that it's sometimes hard to believe that she's Haruno Sakura. Though the woman lying so still under my moving form looks like the Sakura I thought I knew, she isn't. Haruno Sakura was a loud, annoying, nosy fangirl who never ceased to be smiling or flirting. She was an open book. Sakura couldn't do anything without showing emotion. Anything at all. And this woman barely looks alive. Furthermore Sakura was a little girl, a weak, pathetic excuse of a kunochi. Half the times Naruto and I had to protect her from getting herself killed. This person is ruthless with her enemies and excellent in a fight, all attentive and skilled.

I suppose it's partially my fault she's this way. Hell, it's all my fault. When I left her, I admit that I left her broken and crying. Of course I should've expected some change after all those years. But I really thought she would get over it, I thought she would move on. But after our first encounter, I was left dumbfounded, even if I didn't show it.

She had grown so, so, so much that I had to think twice before I recognized her. The pink hair gave her away. And never in a million years would I have thought that Sakura could manage a blow on me, or anyone besides Naruto for that matter. I was too quick for her but I realized something right away. She had gotten stronger. A lot.

I still refused to go with them. I hurt them again, her the most. Countless attempts, all failed. Naruto and Sakura didn't give up on me, not for anything. No matter what any one said, even when I was ranked as a missing-nin, they never stopped believing that I would return to them.

After those three years, any desire I had to go back to Konoha had completely faltered. I often wondered why they tried so hard, but I never could come up with a proper answer. Love and friendship were far beyond me.

Then finally, she did it. She brought me back. HER, a fairly strong, yet still reckless, chuunin level kunoichi did what the Jinchuuriki of the Nine Tailed Fox couldn't do, what the son of The White Fang of Knoha couldn't do, what the most powerful shinobi couldn't do... she did it. She brought me home. With a simple hug, a few words and her ever flowing tears, she changed my perspective in a minute. Unbelieveable.

That left me angered and agitated. To know that I had fallen in her arms once again, it was depicable. Despite that, I returned to my village.

And as soon as my two feet stepped on the Knoha soil, my whole life turned upside down. Everything I had known felt like a lie. Naruto worked as hard as ever and was apparently getting over his stupid infuation with Sakura. The oddest thing was that he was falling for the Hyuuga heiress. The girl who couldn't even say two words to him without blushing and/or fainting.

Neji Hyuuga had taken my place as the most desired male in Konoha, but after I returned, our popularity was tied. He also had a girlfriend, his tomboyish teammate. The lazy Nara was working day and night and was secretly crushing on the girl from Suna who had fought against the Chuunin exams. Might I mention that she was three years older than him, the Suna ambassador, the Kazekage's sister and she did not seem to be affected by my hotness. Even my long time fangirl and my female teammate's rival Ino had gotten over me. Though the Akimichi was being extra friendly to her. Even Kakashi had adopted a new thing; instead of reading perverted books, he now WROTE them. Guess he wanted to be Jaraiya's successor or something.

But the person who changed the most was Sakura. As I said, I barely recognized her. The stillness, seriousness and ignorance was not her. But I was forced to belive it was. She treated me like she treated every guy; Naruto, Neji, Shikamaru etc. I was no longer her darling 'Sasuke-kun'. No, I was just plain old 'Sasuke'. And whenever she said my name I wished that I could go back to the time when her world centered around me. I have no idea why I'm such a turncoat now. Everything seems to leave me dazed.

She offered herself completely to me.

"I'll help you accomplish your next goal" were her loveless, lifeless words to me. Just like that, she was mine. She knew what I was after, she knew I wouldn't say 'no'. She was right.

I took the chance, I took advantage of the situation. At first it was only because I thought maybe I would see the the girl she used to be once again. Then when she showed no signs of being Haruno Sakura, my anger took over. I hurt her, pained her, killed her every single time. She never moved, never resisted, never screamed. I was her owner, I could do anything to her. I CAN do anything to her.

I know what hurts her. As the loveless orgasm leaves me breathless, I feel her hidden pain. But not only she is in turmoil, I have my own remorse to deal with. She doesn't know, she doesn't know how much I want to love and beg for her to forgive me and to turn back into the girl who tried to stop me from leaving her three years ago. I want to make love to her, not use her as a tool for accomplishing my supposed goal. But i can't. There is a monster inside me that won't stop murdering her soul.

"Dammit! Sakura, are you okay?! Are you hurt?!"

"What do you want me to do?"

With every thrust the monster takes over. "Stop. Tormenting. ME!"

The night I left her, when I laid her on the bench and saw her sparkling tears dissolve I almost changed my mind. But my power for revenge was too strong. I made a promise though. I promised myself that after that night I would never hurt her again. That promise has been broken several times. But she doesn't know how much I'm trying, how much I hope she forgives me. How much I regret making and breaking all those same promises.

There is not much left between the two of us now. Just our physical connection, her silence and my chain of broken promises.