Gannondorf falling Down the Stairs

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By Sailor Zel

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Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, don't you dare sue!

R&R!

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"Damn this paperwork," Gannondorf grumbled, gathering up the desk work and shuffling it into a semi-neat pile, "NABROOU! Where is the bloody hell is Dark Link?!" The currently brainwashed gerudo emerged timidly out of the shadows of the dim office.

"Sir Dark Link is downstairs, training, m'lord," she said softly.

"In that case, go downstairs and get him, I have a few errands for him to run," Gannondorf said, getting up from his chair.

"Yes, m'lord," Nabroou swept a deep bow and silently made her exit. Several moments later, Nabroou re-entered the dusky study.

"He says he's busy, m'lord," Nabroou said.

"So? Tell him to get up here anyway!" Gannondorf snapped. Nabroou nodded and headed downstairs a second time and several minutes later appeared, alone, a second time.

"Sir Dark Link says he's busy at the moment, m'lord, and to get one of your shit-head advisors to do it," Nabroou said submissively.

"The impudence! Showing such disrespect to his lord and master!" Gannondorf shouted, crushing a glass paperweight in his massive palm, "tell him to get his sorry hide up here before I banish him to the Gap between Dimensions!" Nabroou sighed gently and headed downstairs again, while Gannondorf remained, listening to the echoes of her footfalls. There was a pause, then more footsteps rapidly climbing the spiral staircase.

"Sir Dark Link says he doesn't care m'lord," Nabroou said calmly, "and that your phantom is far better company then you, m'lord." Gannondorf scowled and growled angrily.

"The nerve of that doppelganger! I'll teach him! He'll learn to obey his creator!" Gannondorf snarled angrily. Nabroou cautiously stepped aside as the Gerudo King stomped pass her and into the hall.

"Oh! Oh, m'lord!" Nabroou cried out suddenly, "watch out for that-"

"Silence, Nabroou!" Gannondorf roared, "I can walk down the stairs myself, it's not that difficult-BWA! OH BLOODY-OW-HELL! Curse these-OW!- damn stairs! MOTHER FU-OW! PAIN! Why does this hallway have to be so goddamn narrow! OW! Railing! OW!"

Nabroou stood quietly in the threshold of the stairwell, listening to her master's cries and curses of agony as he tumbled headfirst down the stairs. Then there was utter silence.

"Master? Master, are you alright?" Nabroou called tentatively from the tower study.

"For now, my shoulder plate's caught on some loose carpeting!" Gannondorf shouted up to her.

"Should I go for help, m'lord?" Nabroou asked.

"Are you a brainless moron, girl! OF COURSE, GO FOR HELP!" Gannondorf bellowed.

"Y-yes, m'lord," Nabroou said, walking briskly into the other room, leaving Gannondorf to wait on the stairs with his shoulder-plate wedged firmly in the scarlet carpeting. Gannondorf dared no move and remained perfectly still somewhere around the midway of the flight of stairs. Suddenly his nose twitched and he had an awful, awful sudden urge…to sneeze. 'Damn dusty tower, damn dusty castle!' he thought.

"ACHOOO!"

Gannondorf sneezed with the force of a hurricane and dislodged himself from the safe hold of the carpet.

"Oh no…OW! DAMN! OUCH! SHIT! PAIN! GOD SAVE MY POOR BROKEN BODY! OW! HOLY CRAP! CURSE THE DAMN PALACE ARCHITECTS!" he shouted, "PAIN! OOF-OW-OUCH!-HURT! AIEEEE!-OOF!" Gannondorf was suddenly kissing the black marble floor of the foyer.

"M'lord! M'lord!" Nabroou cried, rushing down the steps. Gannondorf lay on the ground, quickly feeling the effects of whacking your head two thousand and three times on marble stairs.

"Oh master! Are you hurt terribly?" Nabroou asked. Gannondorf groaned and slowly turned over.

"That's it," he murmured.

"That's what, m'lord?" Nabroou asked.

"We're installing an elevator."

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And so ends a fairly stupid and fairly random zelda fic!

R&R!

~ Sailor Zel