Yeah, another based off of Dane Cook.

Sorry I haven't posted anything for awhile, I've been sucked into the world of Harry Potter lately, so yeah...make sure you watch Dane Cook's Brain Ninjas video before reading this!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or Dane Cook's Brain Ninjas joke!

Cuba, Poland, Ivan and Holland didn't know why Matthew stayed with Gilbert. Their relationship was obviously morphing into a relationSHIT. Felicks decided to get to the bottom of this, for his friend's sake.

"Matt, why do you, like, stay with him?" asked the Polish man, "Me and all the guys are all concerned! Why don't you just, like, dump him and move on? He's a total dick wad!"

"You don't understand Felicks, it's not that simple!" replied Matthew, "He has my maple syrup in his fridge!"

"But-!"

"Shut up, I'm goin'." Matthew left his friend as he walked back to his house.

That night Gilbert and Matthew were arguing, but Gilbert had one goal during this fight: To make Matt cry. Not the sobbing though, because that's just annoying. The albino just wanted to see one little sparkling tear.

"Oh yeah, so I'm a jerk?!" asked Gilbert.

"Yes, you're a jerk!" screamed Matthew.

"Well, you don't know anything because you're just a stupid Canadian!" Something seemed to spark in Matthew's eyes after his lover said those words.

"You know what Gilbert? You are so right and awesome! I didn't even know! You are the awesome czar of right! Were all floating in the unawesome sea of wrong as you sail by in your awesome ship of right. I didn't even know! Please, throw me a lifeline so I'll know." The Canadian suddenly straightened both his legs and locked them. Gilbert smirked, thinking Matthew was beginning to surrender.

"I thought so! You know what, you should've thought of this at the first place!" the German exclaimed.

As Gilbert continued to ramble, Matt began to make gestures with his hand and tucked his fist underneath his chin as he started to giggle every now and then. "Yes, Gil, go on! I wanna hear more."

"See? You should submit this easily more often! Then, you wouldn't have to be so unawesome arguing with my awesomeness and I won't have to call you a fuckin' pansy!" finished Gilbert.

Matthew smiled a bit too sweetly before pivoting his body and taking three steps towards their bedroom. The blonde man stopped and looked back at Gilbert over his shoulder. The German had to lean forward to be able to hear what the Canadian was about to say.

"Well, you're stupid like you're grandfather." he whispered. Gilbert just laughed as Matthew walked off.

"That's all? I'm stupid like my grandfather...pfft! Great comeback, Matt!" he called tauntingly. The albino crossed his arms in triumph and walked off to the living room to go play on his Xbox360

A week later Gilbert was pacing in the basement, obviously thinking about Matthew's comment.

"Stupid like my grandfather, pfft!" muttered Gilbert with a smirk. Suddenly, the smirk turned into a frown and Gilbert's breathing became faster and more angry.

"MY GRANDFATHER'S A BRILLIANT MAN!!!!!" Gilbert screamed to the ceiling above.

Gilbert began to stalk around the house, searching for his blonde boyfriend. He found him, after some difficulty of remembering the layout of his own home, sitting at the kitchen table eating pancakes with a victorious smile.

"Oh, so you're just gonna eat your fuckin' pancakes on your ass, huh?! Yeah, you fuckin' like those damn things, huh!" Matthew seemed to be amused by Gilbert's one-sided argument, "Who fucking bought the ingredients for those damn ingredients?! Just tell me and I'll leave you alone!"

"You, Gil." Matthew answered. He took another bite out of his pancake.

"Yeah, I did! I bought those fuckin' ingredients!" Gilbert turned to leave, but came back, "And you know what? I fuckin' loved pancakes my whole LIFE!"

Gilbert turned to leave again, but came back once more. "And you know why I love pancakes? Because when I was little my grandfather made me pancakes whenever I wanted! If I said 'Grandpa, I want pancakes' he made me those pancakes! You know why? Because he's a fuckin' awesome, intelligent guy! You don't even know!"

Matthew smirked when Gilbert continued to yell as he exited the room

"You don't even know! You. Don't. Even. KNOW!" Gilbert made some exaggerated gesture with his arms as his voice became high at the last word. Matthew punched the air in victory when the German was gone.

" Matthew: thirty, Gilbert: negative twenty-five!"

Yeah this came out horrible, but I really wanted to put this up! :D Sorry it sucks!