So, this is the sequel to my story The Christmas Heist, which actually a Christmas present for a bunch of friends I wrote last year. I'm going to get out the other stories, and write a new chapter, don't worry! But, Xigbar and Luxord needed to get out of jail first. I seperated this one from the original because, though I kept to a PG sense, it has a bit of language and some drinking references. Other than that, it's clean, unless you'll be emotionally scarred by the ruining- oh, can't spoil the story! =D Oh, some jokes you may not get unleess you read Poker in the Underworld and The Christmas Heist.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, sadly.
"Xigbar!" Luxord sighed, watching his friend as the heavily scarred man tried to file his way through the bars of the prison. Yes, he was trying to do like they did in the movies, use a small file, to break out of three-inch bars of pure, and magical, iron. That'll take awhile.
"Shut it, Lux, we have to get out here before tomorrow." Said man yelled, his eye-patch soaked with sweat. So far, about half of the bar had been sawed off, but he still about half more of that bar, then there were about nine other bars he had to do too.
"You're being a imbecile." The Gambler of Fate huffed, turning back to his cards, each decorated with the Nobody symbol. "You know how much we'll be missed, they'll find us." By 'they' he meant Axel, Roxas, and Hades. Luxord had his doubts that Xemnas would care if the two drunkest members (Besides Xaldin, but apparently Xaldin is useful) were never found. He would just assume they were stone cold, and lost in A Hundred Acre Woods again. (That story is for another day…)
"As if!" Xigbar chuckled, continuing his filing. All his British friend, and roommate at the moment, could do was play a game of solitary by himself.
MEANWHILE…
It's been a day. A day. And not single fight had broken out in the Castle That Never Was. Why? Maybe because the culprits of the fights are missing. That's right, missing. And when Number VIII, Axel, brought this up with the Superior, all the leader could do was sit at his throne and ponder.
"If the two, idiots, are stupid enough to get drunk, then lost in another world again, good riddance." The Superior concluded, his thumb and pointer fingers rubbing his temples, a sure sign of annoyance. "Number VIII, you do realize on how many fights they had started? Remember Marluxia and The Land of Dragons? Or maybe, the incident with Xaldin and Atlantica might escape your mind? Please, I beg you, remember the time with Demyx and his new pet Heartless, who, might I question, told him they were house-trained?"
"Pfft, they're house-trained, just not castle-tra-" Axel's smart remark was cut short, by Xemnas's cold glare, through Number I's amber eyes. "Right, sorry Superior." He made his exit quick, disappearing in a corridor of darkness. Xemnas sighed, and followed Axel's actions. Though, instead, he went to his own office to think. Think on what to do when Axel, and Roxas get in jail too.
Axel, of course, was thinking exactly what Xemnas was thinking, though in a different perspective. He and Roxas, they were going to find Luxord and Xigbar, though he had no idea where the two were. It was almost Christmas, what places offer holiday specials? Besides the obvious Christmas Town.
"Roxas!" Axel pulled the blond from behind, entering the Grey Area. "We need to find Xigbar and Luxord." The blond looked momentarily confused.
"Why, where are they?" The Key of Destiny asked, being pulled by the hood of his cloak.
"That's why we're trying to find them, Roxas." Axel rolled his eyes, not understanding why the youngest member could be so oblivious. "We need to find their location, know how we're going to do that?"
"Umm, asking Zexion?"
"No, we're going to the second best choice - Hades."
"What does some dead God-man have to do with finding Luxord and Xigbar? What is he going to do, sick Cerberus on them?" Roxas scoffed, rolling his eyes.
Sadly, that is exactly what happened. Axel had dragged the young, blond teenager down into the Underworld. Firstly, we should note this was Roxas's first trip to the Underworld, and he was with Axel, of all people. The experience, that is for another day, especially the part with Pain and Panic, okay, now that is a funny tale.
"So, whoa, whoa, wait. You're saying Luxord and Xigbar are missing?" Hades clarified, pacing in front of the two Organization members.
"No, they went on vacation." Axel scoffed, crossing his arms.
"Hey, now, Axel - my man - don't get all sarcastic with me. Hades, God of the Dead, tick me off and I can kill you?" Hades retaliated, doing his odd hand gestures that no one seems to understand.
"In case, you haven't notice, I'm not a human." Axel taunted, loving how he frustrate and outwit the God of the Dead.
"Riiight, okay, fine, whatever. Now what does pipsqueak here have anything to do with it?" Roxas straightened up at the mention of him, indirectly.
"Oh, he's just here, to watch."
"All right, destruction!"
And so, on this very Christmas night, the trio set out to find the two members of old. Cerberus on a leash, held by Hades, as he led the three to a strange world, known as Christmas Town.
"So wait, they've been here this whole time?" Roxas asked, if he had known that, he would've came here on his own. What could little elves do to him anyways, the Key of Destiny, duh, he was the Gary-stu that always won.
"Yeah kid, but with my 'lil puppy Cerberus here," Hades made kissy-faces at his three-headed dog that guarded the Underworld. "We'll be able to get in, get out, with a whole lot of shebang." He lit his finger on fire, a manical grin on his face.
Without hearing another word from Roxas, the leash that Cerberus was hooked to loosened then dropped onto the ground. The dog, sensing his freedom, ran right down to the happy and merry town. Elves were running in terror and fright, screaming their heads off, as the dog smooshed the buildings as he galloped towards the jail.
"Huh, what is all the disturbance?" Luxord looked out the window, to see the town up in flames. "Xigbar!" He called, looking back at his sleeping companion - who had fallen asleep at the bars. "Look!"
"Huh?" Xigbar rubbed his eye, blinded by the glow of the flames and smoke temporarily. "Well, as if! Looks like Axel found us!"
"Not Axel, it's the companion of Lord Hades." Luxord pointed out, as a small elf house was crushed by the large paw.
"Ahahaha!" The Freeshooter laughed, clapping his hands. "We're free!"
"Got that right." Hades snorted from the other side of the bars. "Looks like you got in a jam, what happened? The elves come and tried to take Xigbar away?" He gestured to saids' ears, which were pointed, like a elf.
"As if!" Xigbar laughed, while Luxord merely rolled his eyes. "Come on, let us out, buddy."
"I dunno…" The God looked at his pointed fingers, a small grin on his face. "Maybe, if next time, we can raise the stakes to - say - double or nothing?" He meant the poker games, the games that he and the few Organization members had.
"Deal." Luxord chirped, being the Gambler of Fate, he could always win when the stakes are high.
"Ah, fine." Hades tossed the keys through the bars. "Hey-a, I gotta go. People to kill, and Jerk-cules to destroy." A small grin was on his face as he backed out. "Oh, and the two hopefuls outside are yours." And with a small whistle, Cerberus came back from eating a bit of the CEO… Chief Elf Officer. Once together, the team of four left but not without one last shout.
"Hope you have hell Christmas Town!" Hades called, laughing all the way.
Xigbar and Luxord chuckled, as they exited the jail and headed towards where Axel and Roxas were playing with fire. "Hey, let's go." Xigbar urged, having to drag Roxas away.
So, everyone was home for Christmas in the World That Never Was. Sadly though, since it 'Never Was' Christmas, 'Never Is'. So, when Marluxia came down from his room, in his pink pajamas, only to learn that there was nothing under the Christmas tree, he was sad… Very sad.
"Oooh, I'll get that Santa Claus… And make him regret not knowing who we are." Marluxia vowed, leaving us a cliff-hanger for next year!