This chapter has been revised! I've noticed this story is more of a Drama than Humorous... but hey, I didn't plan most of this.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of these characters (except for a few I made up)...but I own this plot!
I WILL BE UPDATING SOON! Sorry for the errors in this chapter, I have them all fixed now...I think... I'm stinky at editing my own stories, I need a beta. I daresay this story needs one. Anyone willing please email me!
I'm nearly done with the second chapter. Expect it on Labor Day (work day! yippee!)
Frequent Falling
Chapter 1 – Help Wanted, Help Found
It was one fine, breezy afternoon. All the little birdies were flying about while children ran through the sunny fields, open for any adventure. Anyone who was everyone would be outside on this pleasant August day to ride a broomstick, go have a swim in a nearby pond, or just run. It seemed like everyone in London was outdoors to enjoy the weather.
Everyone except George Weasley, that is.
I, George, was snoozing in my unkempt bed, not aware that the day had already passed its midpoint. My bedroom window beside me was open, and the breeze was gently floating in. Along with it, feathers all ruffled and looking quite tired, came an owl. As it landed on my bedside table, it walked over to where I lay deeply asleep, and pecked me a couple times on the ear. I shifted a bit, and then finally woke up.
"Wh-whozair?" I asked groggily.
The ruffled owl hooted as to gain my attention, which worked. I jerked my head to my right where I saw the very windblown owl puffing out his feathers, trying to look important.
"Huh?" I said, "Letter for me? Ah, I reckon it's probably from either mum or from Nora…" Nora was an outgoing person; she didn't have trouble saying anything. She also happened to be my girlfriend.
The owl hooted at me once more, and stuck out his right leg where the parchment was tied. I hastily untied it from the owl, unrolled it, and began to read.
Dearest George, (that's probably from Nora! I thought)
I know that we've been together for the longest time, Georgie. Two years, to be exact. Our anniversary is coming up in the next month. Unfortunately, we will not be able to celebrate it together.
George Weasley, I am breaking up with you.
Right now, your head might explode with thought. You're probably thinking why, maybe feeling relieved, hurt, angry… whatever. I don't really care. I will answer why I'm breaking up with you, of course. I wouldn't want to leave you hanging.
Well, it started after one year into our relationship. I know you told me that you didn't have any girlfriends at Hogwarts; I believe you on that point. I felt a wave of lovey-dovey emotion when we first dated, but it kinda left, and you know… I start looking for other guys to spark that flame up again. I don't want to be a social reject hanging around with you, either. You never take me anywhere (What? I took you loads of places!! I thought again). Spain, Germany, Ireland… foreign places, you know. My friends all talk about the foreign trips their boyfriends take them on, and I never have anything to say! I know that my job leaves me traveling a lot, but it'd be nice if you would take me. So, I'm leaving you to find a man who cares. No more dearests, no more Georgies, Norriekins (Ha! Forgot I used to call her that! I thought once more)… I'm moving away and you will probably never see me again.
Sincerely,
Nora Hannemaker
Figures… Nora was always one who would be likely to dump a boy when she got bored of him. I guess she was tired and longed to travel with a man and brag about it, so she dumped of the heavy luggage bringing her down (namely me).
I sighed. One less thing to worry about… I thought, savoring it. Business had be thriving lately, so I hardly was anywhere except the shop that I co-owned with my identical twin brother, Fred. One less thing to waste my spare time on would be a very good thing for me. I hadn't been able to enjoy a good day like this in weeks. Lately I had been working late into the night, and often slept in past noon. I'd only have a couple of hours before I would go back to work. I was too busy... It's a wonder why Fred and I never put up 'Help Wanted' signs.
Tossing Nora's letter aside, I got up out of bed to make a very late breakfast. I lifted up my wand sleepily, as if to cast a spell.
"Accio bowl!"
Immediately, one of the bowls from the dish cabinet came zooming towards the slumping figure that was me. I was too tired to notice at first that the bowl had already bumped into me and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "Not again…" I sighed, pointing my wand at the broken bowl and muttering, "Reparo," thereby fixing it.
I picked up the newly-fixed bowl, and conjured some porridge into my bowl. Tasting it with my index finger, I noticed that it was stone cold. "Aahh… bleargh." I quickly performed a Heating Charm, and began to eat with a spoon I had just summoned.
An hour later, I was back at the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes shop where I worked nearly night and day selling the best joke products in the world. The best part of it is that Fred and I invented them.
Fred was helping out a very young customer in explaining how a Toad Moder worked… but of course everyone knows that a Toad Moder is used to create lifelike toads that explode when you tap them with your wand… the funny part is that they're filled with Stinksap.
I was positioned behind the counter, frequently yawning. I nearly dozed off a couple of times only to be awoken by aggravated customers who were in a hurry.
"Oh- ah, right! That'll be five Galleons, ten Sickles, and three Knuts for the lot- eh, is that love potion? Is she hot?" I asked.
"Never mind that, I'm almost late for work!" breathed a hurried teenager as he dumped a bunch of coins on the desk and ran out.
"Geez… you could come after work if you were in such a hurry…" I muttered under my breath, calling forth the next customer ready to pay.
When Fred was done explaining the Toad Moder to this little kid preparing to go to Hogwarts, he bustled to the backroom to restock the Nosebleed Nougats. They seemed to be going fast. After grabbing an armful of the product, he looked around to see if everything was in order, not all higgledy-piggledy like it could get. Seeing that everything was just fine, he returned to his and his twin's very crowded shop.
It was no shock for him to see that I had fallen asleep at the counter again. After depositing the Nougats in their proper place, he conjured up a hot mug of coffee for his tired brother (me) while trying to poke me awake.
"George, mate, we've got customers… oi! Wake up!" begged Fred. At long last, he managed to get his wish.
"Uuooooo… Immawake! I'm awake! Stop poking me, Fred!" I grumbled. I gratefully accepted the mug of coffee from Fred, who swapped place with me to take over the counter.
"Y'know Fred… we should really hire s'more people… all we've got is Verity, and even with her, we're still all hustled and bustled. I only get a couple hours of sleep every night now."
Fred sighed, waving his wand so that my mug of coffee vanished. "Go ahead and do whatever, George. I gotta get these frustrated customers a bit more cheerful before they go storming out of the shop."
I sighed, and proceeded out of the shop, grabbing one of the Ministry's blown-up safety pamphlets. After putting a Sticking Charm to it to stay on the window, I wiped it blank and drew instead with my wand the words 'Help Desperately Wanted. Anyone who wishes to work at the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes joke shop, please contact either Fred or George Weasley by owl. Signed: George Weasley, co-owner of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes joke shop.'
I looked at my sign with pride, and then left it to return to the shop where I would remain for the next eleven hours.
A young woman around the age of 20 leaned against the railing on balcony outside her flat above Kielli's Care for Magical Creature Pets, a pharmacy for wizards that brought in their sick pets. Living in Diagon Alley was quite convenient. For one, she had all of the shops she could ever want to visit (Save Three Broomsticks that was in Hogsmeade, perhaps) practically next door; another, she got a good deal on a flat because it was so cramped in Diagon Alley, that the flat itself was cramped; lastly, and personally her favorite, she liked living in Diagon Alley because her job would soon be across the street at #93 Diagon Alley, a.k.a. Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.
She gave a sigh as she cast one last look at the Weasleys' shop, and retreated to bed.
I was, once more, at the shop. Fred was weakly helping out customers when he wasn't at the counter. He and Verity were working a bit harder than usual today, due to the absence of me. I had already arranged three job application meetings. I had tried to look them up, find out their history, but I was unlucky on two of them. Apparently their names did not exist. The other one, however, had graduated from Hogwarts the previous year with N.E.W.T.s in Charms and Herbology. Pfft. He wanted to be an Auror like Harry (Potter), but hadn't managed to get the right O.W.L.s. Nice, going from dreams of being an Auror to a joke shop employee…
I sat at the desk labeled 'Mr. George Weasley, co-master of pranks' in Fred's and my office, located at the very back of the shop. Beside my desk sat an identical one for Fred. My feet were up on my desk, and I lay back in my chair, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for one of my applicants to arrive.
Soon enough, there was a knock on my door. I called the applicant in, who turned out to be a man around his late twenties.
"You name is…" I asked.
"Gwevorian Purditury," he answered with a slight note of fear in his voice.
"That's not your real name, I know it, I looked it up. Now please tell me your real name before I decide that you have no chance whatsoever of working here!" I sneered.
"S-sorry… I j-jus' can't t-trust anyone nowadays. M-me real name's Hayden F-Forglitar," he stuttered.
I raised an eyebrow, looking at him suspiciously, and then continued with the interview.
"So, have you had any experience with joke items, including any ones that might be dangerous? Any at all?"
"At Hogwarts I kept meself secluded in me dormitory sometimes, inventing things to use on the people who made me mad," Hayden said, playing with the hemming of his shirt absentmindedly.
"What kinds of things?"
"Oh yeh know… things that yeh could charm invisible an' stick on someone without them noticin'… scaring the skin off o' them… sweets that could make 'em turn out in orange spots an' make 'em all itchy, y'know?"
"Yeah, I know… Fred and I invented things just like them… except much more highly complex… you'd be no good at creating jokes here… are you much of a people person?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm the life of me mam's parties back home in Scotlan'. Hoo, I could make 'em all laugh like idiots that don' know nuffin."
"Hmm… I wouldn't like Fred and my customers to be made to laugh like idiots… they can do that when they use their pranks… scares away people in the shop, you see? And, if we wanted to make them laugh, we would do so to not make them laugh like idiots… we like them to laugh like a tickled monkey… Honestly, you don't know anything about working in a highly-ranked joke shop, do you? Also, you'd be wasting valuable time trying to make customers laugh like idiots. There are customers always wanting to be helped around the shop."
"Ar, I can see yeh don' like me now… I'll jus' be on me way… maybe get a job at Zonko's or Madame Malkin's… yeah, I can sew clothes an' whatnot…" said Hayden, speaking his thoughts out loud.
With that word, he left Fred's and my office and out of the store. Maybe apply for a Divination job at Hogwarts… he could tell I wasn't going to hire him anyway… he'd be better at the job than the old fart Trelawney… I thought, savoring it. I kept myself busy for the next few minutes by charming a little fly that had so unfortunately flown into his office, unaware that this was George Weasley that he bumped into.
Finally, another knock came at the door. "Enter," I called, and the teenage boy came into the small room. "Please sit down. Name, please?"
"Brad Kelligry," he responded, standing right in front of my desk.
"Oh… please, sit down, manners aren't really of much value in here… we like trait more along the lines of a good sense of humor," I said (thinking of that weird guy Hayden), "the ability to help out, to be keen of mind, and to sometimes multi-task."
Brad wore a rather confused expression with a dash of being a bit startled. "Um… okay, then. I think I can do that."
"So… Brad… How long have you been out of Hogwarts?" I asked, changing the subject. I already knew the answer to this one, but this was a question that you would usually include in an interview.
"Last year. I wanted to be an Auror, but my grades weren't up to scratch. I figured that this would the next best job."
"Quite right… Auror's a really good job, and running a joke shop's a really good one too. I just prefer joke shop business… being a prankster myself."
"Yeah, I remember you! Your one of those legendary Weasley twins who let out a Portable Swamp in a corridor! That was soooooo cool!"
"You bet it was… ahh, and that broomstick ride home… I hadn't been on a broomstick for ages," I sighed. "Oh! Back on track! Why do you want to work here, other than the fact that it's a seriously cool job?"
"I want all the little kids that are going to go to Hogwarts have some serious pranking material on their hands, and I know that you guys that work here are working your tails off… I don't want this shop to close because you're shorthanded… so why not go for a job here?" said Brad with a note of pride in his voice.
"Wicked… I like you already. When can you start working? Tomorrow?" I said enthusiastically.
"Y-you're giving me—I got the job? Excellent, yes, I'll start tomorrow! Awesome, man!" exclaimed Brad who seemed ecstatic.
"Here's a schedule and salary rate for you… you'll work tomorrow at these times…" I said, pointing my wand at a piece of parchment that now had Brad's schedule and the amount he would be paid on it. "…then the day after that if my next applicant doesn't seem fit for the job, and then again on Friday. The shop's closed on Sundays since Fred and I go catch up with our family on those days. Here's your uniform." Then, I bent down below my desk to grab a set of magenta robes. "On your way out, go and introduce yourself to Fred. He'll want to meet you. I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever that he'll like you." I smiled that mischievous Weasley grin and added, "Together, as the staff of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, we will make the world a better place! With pranks, of course… now, off you go."
Without further ado, Brad left my shared office to go meet Fred. I soon heard a yell of excitement and glee. That could only mean that Fred met him and, obviously, liked him.
And so I sat back in my comfy chair and dozed off, waiting for the next applicant to arrive…
Who knows what time later, I was being poked awake. Who the devil is poking me awake? I thought, and then blearily opening one eye, I saw a mass of red and orange. Ah. Fred, of course.
"Whu—why'd you wake me up? I was having such a good n-n-n-aaap," I said, finishing with a yawn.
Fred had a look of sheer bewilderment on his face. "Uh, George… there's something about your last applicant, the one who's supposed to be interviewed next… she's kinda… well, sorta—"
"Just send her in; I'll deal with her and what ever problem she has… I think," I added. I sincerely hoped that I had no whores or penniless and dying pregnant women appearing on my doorstep. Goodness knows, I was not going to take in an orphan child or have my customers being drawn to the shop for …other… reasons.
"A-all right, I'm just going back to the s-store now… yeah, you go ahead and deal with her and her issues," he said, adding a snigger at the end. He quickly returned to the crowded and noisy shop, leaving me alone to invite the last so-called strange applicant in.
"Enter, oh ye applicant who might receive the greatest job in the world." I said in a deep, confident tone, although I was crossing my fingers behind my back.
"The greatest job in the world?" questioned the applicant, slowly opening the door. "I dunno about that, dear George, I'd have to try out the job first."
I gasped, backing up in my chair. The door was now open and the applicant had walked in. Luckily, it was no harlot or dying woman… although, in this sight of this woman I might as well be the one dying.
It was Alicia Spinnet.
"Help found, George," she said, holding up my 'Help Wanted' sign. "I want to work for you. Help found, Georgie dearest."
:-
:-
Yay for Alicia! Yay for George! Now... WhAt WiLl HaPpEn NeXt? woooo... mysterious...
I can promise you thirteen chapters for this fic. Like I said at the top, the next chap ('Recurrent Surprises') should be done on Labor Day.
Please review! Review and you'll be my best friend (and who wouldn't want that?)!!
Sir Fuzzalot