Chapter 1: Distracted

Notes: This stupid and crack story idea has been sitting on my computer gathering dust and taking up hard drive space so I figured I'd just finally publish it. I've got another chapter written already but I'd like to polish some of it up before posting. This is pure crack and silliness from constantly Swan Queen daydreaming. May be smut later in story, depends on reader interest and whatnot. I guess review if you'd like more and we'll see what happens. Enjoy!

The cool and musty air of the secret room in Regina's vault had long since begun to feel stale and Emma's eyes were getting tired. She felt like she'd just run a marathon. Or took a very long and boring standardized test. Not that she knew what either of those things actually felt like, she just figured they were on the same level of tedious that this magic lesson with Regina was on. It shouldn't be this hard to change the color of your shirt, but for some reason she couldn't get the hang of it. And now Regina was berating her again.

"If you'd just pay attention-"

"Oh for fuck's sake Regina, you don't think I'm trying here?"

"Emma, honestly-"

"This is enough for one day. Can't we just call it for now and go pick up some food? The kid'll be home from school soon anyway."

Regina sighed as her girlfriend ran her agitated hands through her long and unruly tresses of blonde hair. It was probably a stupid idea to offer to help Emma get a handle on her magic while they were also feeling out a relationship, but she honestly didn't trust anyone else to give her proper instruction. And she was the best candidate to help her newly statused girlfriend (that still felt weird to think about) with her powers. Regina knew what it was like to have all this untapped power and being afraid of wielding it. Emma usually appreciated her understanding, but when you pressed the wrong buttons, the young savior struggled and lashed out. Like right now.

"Emma darling, let's give it one last try and I'll buy you something deep fried from Granny's. I only push you hard because I know what you're capable of," Regina sighed as she squeezed Emma's arm.

Emma instantly felt bad. She knew Regina worked really hard to teach her what she knew, and she knew it was important to get better at using her magic, but sometimes it was just so damn frustrating. And what was the point of changing your shirts anyway? Yeah, it looked sexy as hell when Regina did it but Emma couldn't see the use. Of course Regina said it was a building block to something else but she sort of tuned out.

Lessons with Regina were usually fun but sometimes it was just too much. Emma had always struggled to tap into her emotional side, and Regina did it with such ease and grace that her magic looked flawless. Sometimes she just needed a break before she totally lost it.

"I'm sorry. Seriously, I'm just...wound up ok? Mary Margaret is driving me up a wall this week with Neal's first birthday party and I don't know, I'm not in a good place to be trying to tap into this."

"I know there's a lot going on, and we can talk about that later, but one more go won't hurt. You know I know that you're capable of this. Now prove me right," Regina smiled.

"You just love being right," Emma chuckled.

"You have a point dear, now stop stalling and concentrate."

Emma rolled her shoulders, blew out a breath, and closed her eyes. Concentrate. She could do that. All she had to do was change her shirt from white to black. Easy enough, right? She could handle this. And then she'd get a grilled cheese for her efforts. And maybe Regina would make out with her a little bit before they left the vault. But only if she got this right.

"Think about your intention. Focus your will on what you want to happen," Regina coached at a whisper. A shiver ran up Emma's spine. Her fingers began to tingle, and she knew she'd tapped into something at least. She opened her eyes to focus on Regina. "Think about what you want to change and make it happen Emma."

Emma thought about what she wanted. White to black. Changing the appearance of her soft v-neck. Her fingers continued to tingle and the longer she looked at Regina the more her mind wandered. God her hair was gorgeous, she just wanted to touch it. Especially with her fingers tingling like this. In fact, she felt warm from her head to her toes. Magic really did feel good when you got the hang of it. Focus Emma, come on. But Regina was staring at her intently and she felt so warm and tingly and Regina was wearing those really cute jeans that hugged her every curve and now Emma didn't want that grilled cheese, she just wanted her girlfriend. That silky burgundy blouse showed of just enough of Regina's ample cleavage and Emma was too tired at this point to care that she was staring blatantly. As her mind wandered, Regina's brow furrowed, and the tingling intensified.

"Emma..." Regina began, noticing the blonde's wandering mind and eyes, but it was too late.

Emma felt warmer and warmer and then suddenly the warmth and tingling stopped. She let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding and focused back on Regina, who looked positively flustered.

"What?" Emma asked as Regina just stared at her, her mouth hanging open in what looked like shock. "Did I do it?!"

Emma looked down and noticed her shirt was still white. Damn it. Wait, something was off. Her boobs looked bigger. But that couldn't be right. And did Regina get taller? Ok something was definitely wrong here...

"Emma...what did you do? What was your intention?" Regina asked quietly. She sounded nervous.

"I was um, thinking of what I wanted and uh..." Crap, she totally botched it, didn't she? Ugh, having a hot teacher made lessons awfully hard sometimes. She was too scared to ask Regina how she had fucked up this time. "Sorry Regina I got distracted," Emma apologized. Did her voice sound weird? Like she had a cold. It sounded lower to her ears. Ok she was losing it.

"Emma dear, do you know what you've done?" Regina sighed as she rubbed at her temples.

"Um, no?"

Regina waved her hand a long floor mirror appeared beside her. "Take a look."

Emma stepped in front of the mirror and a completely different woman looked back at her. Oh shit.

"Is that me?!" she squeaked. The girl in the mirror asked the same question, and Emma knew without a doubt. Oh she definitely fucked this one up. "Oh my god what did I do Regina?"

"That, dear, is a type of glamour. You've shifted your appearance. It's a very handy tool I've used dozens of times, and naturally it is very advanced and complicated magic that you've stupidly and accidentally called upon. You continue to astound me," Regina said with a roll of her eyes. She was definitely impressed, but annoyed that Emma had totally missed the mark.

Emma looked over herself in the mirror. She was definitely shorter, maybe shorter than Regina. Her long blonde hair had turned to a very dark brunette, and was closer to shoulder length now. Her boobs had gotten bigger, so that's what it was like to have full cups? Wow. Her hips were actually hips, not the long, narrow ones she normally had. How had she managed to fill herself out like this? She still seemed unnaturally pale, so at least her foundation would still match. She finally started to realize how tight everything fit. She'd need new clothes to wear. Wait, she could reverse this, right?

"How do I fix it?" Emma asked. "Gold did this to me once, and he fixed it. Oh shit how do I fix it?"

"You're the one who cast it, you need to be the one to undo it. If I try to fix what you did without knowing how you did it, I might make matters worse. I don't know if you're using a glamour, or your shape-shifted, or something even more complicated. It could be a number of things and I might just exacerbate the problem."

"How much worse could you make it Regina?" Emma snorted her disbelief.

"Would you like to look like Hook?" Regina drawled, her eyebrow shooting up in that mocking sort of way Emma weirdly found sexy.

"Oh hell no!"

"Thought so."

"Well then what do I do?" Emma whined. She definitely sounded different. Instead of the girlish tone she was used to hearing, it sounded much lower. Sexier somehow. Or like all those cigarettes she smoked in her teen years finally caught up to her. She found she kinda liked it.

"You deal with it until we have more time to investigate, but right now we do actually need to leave if we're going to be home in time before Henry gets home," Regina sighed, knowing this was far from over.

"You mean I have to stay like this?!" Emma cried, suddenly scared. The situation was just now starting to hit her.

"It's temporary darling, we'll figure it out. Eventually."

"Regina, I can't just go around looking like a different person!"

"That's exactly what you're going to have to do. Besides this is a good lesson for you to learn. Not focusing when using magic has consequences," Regina smirked.

"This isn't funny Regina," Emma growled.

"You'll live," Regina said with a wink. "Besides, this could be fun. And you're still just as cute," Regina admitted as she walked away to the door to the rest of the vault, and was that a little sashay in her hips that Emma saw? Ok, maybe this wasn't all bad. She could handle this. It was like being undercover. Really undercover.

"You're a terrible girlfriend," Emma muttered as she followed Regina up the steps and out of the vault.

"So you've said before dear," Regina called over her shoulder. "There's still time if you'd rather look like that mangy pirate."

"Just kidding, you're the best. Let's just go home," Emma tried to smiled as she walked on unsteady and significantly shorter legs behind Regina.

"That's what I thought."