MA: hey peeps. Once again, I'm venturing into unknown territory with this one. I actually had a dream about this particular one shot and the rest just came naturally. I hope you all enjoy this little short story I had. Like always, I don't own Hellsing or Hellboy. Oh and a special note. This fic is dedicated to my closer than a friend buddy, Gabbie. She helped me write this a bit and deserves some credit. I'm not one for long intros so without further Adieu...ON WITH THE FIC!

THE MAIDEN AND THE DEMON

"CRAWL UP YOUR OWN ASS AND DIE!"

To say that Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing was in a foul mood was like saying that an English breakfast wasn't the best way to wake up in the morning: a vast and terrible understatement.

She slammed the cell closed with such force, one would almost think it would shatter like glass in her hands. It might have done so if she had the appropriate strength to accomplished such a task. She began to stomp back to her office, her footsteps like those of a ancient prehistoric beast that shook the very earth with each stride. The various staff members of the Hellsing Organization were wise not to even look at their leader when she was furious, hence why the hallway was suddenly clear of any other humans.

She hated, ABSOLUTELY HATED, dealing with the aristocracy. Save for the queen mother herself, Integra had very respect for anyone with a noble title. Arrogant and backwards lot, they were. Just now, she was having a chat with a duke of...some place. She didn't care to know or want to know. He was insufferable man. Ignorant to the threats that plagued humanity. Every other word out of his mouth was either backhanded insult about her sex or a poorly placed come-on that had no effect on her. Hell, at one point, he had the gall to ask her out to dinner. HER! She was very tempted to ask Walter to prepare her private jet, fly to whatever crap-hole he called home and slit his throat from ear to ear with her rapier. She wouldn't be in the wrong. The British empire would be all the better without him. But no. That would be a waste of her time and a stain upon her blade.

Now, her mood firmly and utterly soured, all she wanted to do was head back to her office, enjoy a nice glass of cognac, smoke one of her premium cigars that were given to her by Sir Penwood, and listen to some Stevie Wonder. Little Stevie always calmed her down when she was irate.

And as always, just a few steps behind her was Walter, her ever present shadow. He could read her mood as easily as one could read a children's picture book. Knowing what she wanted, he asked, "The '78 or the '65?"

"The '78," She replied without even looking back, "And leave the bottle."

"Yes, ma'am." The former assassin vanished just as his master reached her office. She elegantly removed her keys from her pocket and unlocked the door. Her office was her sanctuary, bathed in the afternoon light and always welcoming to her. She hung her overcoat on the hook near the door and walked across the old, wooden floors to take her seat at her beloved desk. She was half-way across the room when she first noticed it.

Someone was in her room.

She could see out of the corner of her bespectacled eye the form of someone sitting on the couch just to her right. For a second, she considering reaching for her gun but it was then that she noticed the smell. She knew that smell all too well. Her muscles relaxed. Her nerves settled. She let out a small exhale. This man was no burglar or thief or a assassin. He was someone who meant her no harm.

"Hey, babe. Tough day at the office?" His voice was low and gruff, like pit-bull that had been given the power of speech. There was also a underlining affection there somewhere. A affection she didn't mind. She finally turned her head to see the visitor in all his glory.

He was red. A proper hellish red that covered him from head to toe. His eyes were a golden yellow, a bit scary at first but once you get use to it, it was actually very beautiful. A pair of numbs stuck out of his forehead, like horns but shaved down. A brown duster covered his muscular upper torso, a strange insignia emblazoned on the sleeve. A pair of pants and dark boots finished off his wardrobe, with a noticeably large silver revolver on the holster. Probably the most noticeable thing about him, other than his very demonic appearance, was his right hand. Well, it's hard to call it a right hand. It was more like a cudgel in the shape of a hand. It was large and rocky, the same hue as his skin, in the shape of a hand. It seemed like the hand belonged to a most monstrous of beings that went beyond the Pale of human understanding.

This was Hellboy. And he was her boyfriend.

"And how the bloody hell did you get into my office?!" She yelled, although not as loud as you think.

"Came in through the window."

That was such a lie. He always lied about how he got into her office. She could never understand how he could sneak into the Hellsing Organization without a single person knowing. Hellboy doesn't look like the stealthy sort. But considering his age, Integra didn't try to question it.

Looking over at her desk, she caught sight of the slightly shifted lid of her box of cigars. It was only then that also noticed her guest was taking a long drag of a lit stogie. "Did you go into my stash?"

He didn't even try hide it. "Shouldn't have left it out in the open like that."

"I never have to hide them because no one was crazy enough to break into my office."

She sounded mad at him but he knew she wasn't. She was happy to see him. He could tell by how she walked to her desk and how she absentmindedly pushed a few strands of her long blonde hair behind her ear. Her shoulder relaxed ever so slightly when he was around. Not that just anyone could notice. Few could. He was one of those few who could.

She spoke again, somewhat softer in tone, "I take it you had a mission?"

"Yep," he answered, "had to clear out some gremlins in a church in near Normandy. Ugly cusses too. Had some free time so I stopped by."

"Uncle will be upset about it."

Uncle. It was the affectionate nickname she had given the founder of the BPRD, Prof. Trevor Bruttenholm. She hadn't worked with him for very long, only about 10 years or so, but all the times they did were marvelous to her. The professor was a close colleague of her late father's. In fact, in her father's notes, he commented that the BPRD and the Hellsing Organization have had a great working relationship since the 1940s, when world war II heated up and the US joined the war effort. She had first met "uncle Trevor" back during her father's funeral. He made it a point to see her, since she was the new head of Hellsing. Over the years, he became less of a associate in the field of paranormal and supernatural combat and more of a member of the family, hence her moniker for him. They wouldn't official work together until she was around 15, during a joint mission to root out a surviving branch of the Thule society. Out of all the various institutions she has worked with, Integra liked work with the BPRD the most. They were profession, open-minded, eager to share info and resources, and the agents were far better company than the religious zealots who made up the Iscariots. Dealing with Enrico Max made her long for the company of professor Trevor.

It wasn't until she was around 21 when she had the chance to work with the BPRD's most famous and well known agent. Past meetings and encounters with them didn't mesh with Hellboy's schedule since he was always off on some crazy mission that, even to this day, Integra has a hard time believing, even in her line of work. Her initial impressions of "Big Red", as he was called by some of the staff, were honestly surprising: he was grounded, simple in his thinking and methods, and very blue collar. Honestly, if he was human, she could see him fitting in at some bar, pounding back some pints before walking home to his family. As a field agent, she could see why he was so well regarded. Sure, having a big red demon of his obvious strength and size would be helpful when dealing with supernatural foes likes vampires, spirits, zombies and the like was a great boon for any agency, but he was also surprisingly intelligent and knowledgeable. He knew more about spells and demonic lore than most of the elder staff of Hellsing. Hell, even Alucard liked working with him. They weren't friends in the traditional sense but there was a lot of respect between them, and that was big since the No-life King didn't respect a lot of people.

She, on the other hand, had different thoughts about him. Now, keep in mind, Sir Integra was no stranger to the attentions and affections of men: she had been chased by soldiers, politicians, nobles, mercs, actors, and the like. Most of the time they wanted her for either her looks or her position and as such, she didn't really give them the time of day, giving them the coldest of shoulders. Maybe the reason for her epithet of "England's Iron Maiden", but she thinks she has another title that the men wouldn't dare utter to her face, least they wish to get a visit from her pet vampire. Hellboy was different. He respect her as the leader of a sister organization, a agent, and as a woman. He had a gruff manner about him but he always was respectful to her. She found that attractive.

Yes. Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing found a man attractive. And it was a demon no less.

After that first mission, they conversed socially: on the phone, in person, and in letters. The letters, she liked. Over time, Hellboy would try his hand at being poetic. Or at least as poetic as someone like he could be. His letters weren't terrible. He was really trying to woo her. But it was the effort that really charmed her. How he would press little flowers into the envelops. The small little poems he added on the back of the paper. The small sense of Cuban cigars he would subtly rub unto the seal. It was sweet. You'd never hear her say it out-loud but she really did think they were nice. And somewhere along the way, they became something of a couple. It was very secret, with only a few people on either side of the pond knowing about it. It wouldn't look good if the head of the Hellsing Organization and BPRD's top operative were found to be in a relationship. Never mind the fact that both of them were very private people who like to keep this sort of thing to themselves.

The door opened and Walter walked in, a tray containing a large bottle of cognac and two glasses balanced perfectly with his gloved hand. "Here you are, ma'am. And-", he stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Hellboy on the couch. "Hey, Walt," he called out to the butler. Walter wasn't really surprised. He figured out that they had their usual uninvited guest while doing his fetch quest for the madam. How he knew, that was his butler's secret. With a small smirk, he walked over to the desk and placed the tray on the desk before saying "I shall cancel your meeting today, ma'am."

"Thank you, Walter." he read the mood perfectly. She was stressed and Hellboy was present. This was her personal time and he would make sure she gets it. He gave a quick nod to both Integra and then to Hellboy before heading out of the room. Hellboy liked Walter If he ever had a butler, not the he would want one, he would want one like Walter

"That the '78?" he asked.

"Of course," she answered. She popped the top off and poured two generous servings of the brown liquid. Her mood seemed to lighten the moment that Walter left. Not because he was bad company. No, it was because she was now certain that she would be alone with her boyfriend and could finally relax. She reached over to the small radio next to her portrait of her father and switched it on. The dulcet tones of Stevie Wonder emerged from the speakers, filling the room with music. She took the two glasses and sauntered over to him.

Yellow eyes watched her approach. It was in these moments that Hellboy through appreciated how beautiful Integra was.

When he asked about her to his adoptive father, the professor always prefaced his descriptions with the same statement:

"Sir Integra What a lovely girl."

Now when he said "lovely", he didn't mean in the aesthetic sense. He meant more in the terms of personality. She was a lovely woman to be around, which is why he enjoyed working with the Hellsing Organization so much. Hellboy had the pleasure of working with her father many a time over the years. Awesome man, he was. He was genuinely sadden when he learned he had passed. He would've gone to the funeral but he thought he would stick out too much.

When he finally did meet Sir Integra, his father's descriptions of her didn't really do her justice, both in terms of personality and looks. She was a bad-ass. Enough said. He could see why Alucard could be commanded by a human, much less a woman. She was a hard-ass who took her job seriously and would make anyone who even entertained thought of pissing her off pay for it spades. He liked her the moment she lit up her cigar and introduced herself to him. He had dated human women before, thus he was no stranger to the wooing of females. But Integra was a different sort of animal. If he came at her wrong, she would shut him down and he wouldn't have another chance at her in her life time. But thankfully, with some well earned advice from Abe and Liz, he was about to endear himself to her. She loved his clumsy poetry and old fashioned sensibility.

As she walked towards him, he couldn't help but marvel at her features: her creamy tanned skin, long wavy blonde hair, her deep azure eyes. Some would say that she was too slim, almost lanky in a way but he would disagree. She had curves. She just hid them well when behind her usual, male attire. That was on purpose. She wanted to nothing to distract people when she talked. No noticing of her toned, supple legs or her amble cleavage. They would see her face and hear her voice for who she was. But Hellboy was special to her. Everyone else got Sir Hellsing, the frightening woman who would put a bullet between your eyes for looking at her wrong. He, on the other hand, got Integra, the woman. When she was around him, her hair seemed to shine more, her slender face would soften, and her walk would take on a more seductive sway that could raise the temperature of the deepest pits of hell. Here, he could appreciate her for all she was. To him, she was a living contradiction. She was the least feminine woman he had ever known but at the same time, the most feminine.

She settled down next to him, handing him his drink as she did. He took a small sip. Hellboy didn't drink a lot of hard liquor. He preferred beer mostly but his tastes have expanded since he hooked up with Integra Hellsing had a wide selection of wines, champagnes, and hard drinks on hand. He found himself liking cognac the most. So much so that she keeps a few bottles of the good stuff on hand if and when he visits. This particular brand was one such bottle. He rolled the liquid around his mouth for a bit before swallowing.

"Good year."

She sipped from her own glass and nodded. "Damn well better. As much as I paid for it, I'd break someone's back if it tastes like shit."

Hellboy smiled. For all of her titles and refinement, Integra could use language that could make a sailor blush. "So where's big bad?"

That's what he called Alucard. Hellboy had fought his fair share of blood-suckers but Alucard was something else. He was a like a tiger in a room full of kittens: same family. Different levels. "He's out, doing his job along with the police girl." He heard of the fledgling vampire that he had taken under his wing. He couldn't remember her name for the life of him but he was surprised at the news that Alucard had a sired a vampire. From what he understood, the No-life King had no sires. Hellboy wanted to see the woman he had turned. She had to be something else to get such a treatment.

"So what's wrong?" he finally asked. He wanted to approach the subject lightly, not wanting to worsen her already terrible disposition. Based on the way she walked into the room and the drinks that Walter had already brought with him told him enough. His tail snaked itself out from his coat and coiled around her waist.

"Damned nobility," she cursed, allowing herself to be pulled closer to the red giant next to her. "Asshole duke still thinks that just because I'm a woman, he can speak to me in any sort of way he wants."

"You catch a name?"

She smiled at his question. If he had his way, he would pay this duke a nighttime visit and scare the respect into him. He knew Integra could more than stand up for herself. Still, he couldn't help wanting to defend the honor of his girlfriend.

"No need to worry, sweets," she said, "He's not worth it. Besides, I don't want him taking time from you."

"If you say so, Hun." Hellboy emptied the last remains of the dark liquid into his mouth before setting down the glass. In the back of his mind, he made plans on getting the name of the duke from Walter and then arranging for some explosives to be placed under the asshole's car. Nothing lethal, mind you. Just enough to get the point across. He pulled her close with his smaller arm. She offered no resistance. He glanced down at the beauty under his arm. Her scowl had vanished. The tension in her shoulders was gone. A rare, perfect smile graced her lips.

Sir Integra was completely and totally defenseless before him. Relaxed in a way that rarely anyone sees anymore. She had shed her armor and now she was exposed to him. She was woman before him and he was happy to see her.

"Mmmmmm," she moaned, her nose placed firmly in his duster. She loved how he smelled. A first for Hellboy He was always aware of his unique odor. Nothing foul or off-putting like a skunk. It was just different. Unique. And for Integra, utterly intoxicating. It was something he never really understood about her but he wasn't complaining. As long as she was happy, she could sniff him as long as she wanted. "How long can you stay?"

He knew that meant. She wanted him to stay the night. With her. In her bed.

Now, keep in mind that Integra was a virgin. Untouched by any man in that regard. It was a sign of her purity of spirit and utter dedication to her job as Leader of Hellsing and defender of the British Empire from the dark forces that threatened her. She didn't have time to worry about such things and it was something that set her apart from her contemporaries. No, she merely shared the bed with Hellboy Sex was something the both agreed that wasn't needed. Hellboy never pushed the subject, mostly out of respect for her but deep down, he felt like he was unworthy of such a honor. While Hellboy had the facade of being a wisecracking adventurer, there were still things that bothered him about his special status. He always tried to hide his worries from her but Integra knew it bothered him. She knew about his insecurities their relationship, about how he didn't feel like he didn't deserve her. She thought it was rubbish. Of course he was worthy of her. He was worthy of every inch of her. And secretly, unknown to everyone but herself, she truly wouldn't have minded if Hellboy took her virginity. They had only begun sharing a bed together recently and there were many a night she considered rolling over and whispering for the agent to take her. But she knew he wouldn't. His respect, his admiration, and his devotion to her was that strong. It almost rivaled Alucard's in that respect.

He was silent for a minute, weighting his options. Finally he said, "I could spare a few hours."

she wrapped her arms around his massive frame. That was his way of saying "Yes".

Hellboy was such a fool for her. He could face down demons, witches, sea-monsters, and old world gods without a second thought but this woman could effectively wrap him around her finger. Even if he didn't have the time, he would make the time. All for the chance to share a bed with this woman. She always wore that sliver lace night gown she only wore with him. It was a gift from one of her many admirers. She considered throwing it out, since she had no need to wear such a thing but part of her told her she should keep it. And she was glad for it. Seeing Hellboy's face when she first showed up to bed with it was worth it. Needless to say, he liked it. No, he loved it. It showed off her figure that those damn clothes hid so well. It took all his self-control and legendary will power to not run out of the room and dive headfirst into the nearest river to cool off. Integra would flaunt it if she wanted to and she certainly did around Hellboy

A pair of lips touched his neck.

Unbelievably, Integra was a rather touchy woman when it came to intimacy. Her hands would roam. Her legs would trace across his. Her lips would kiss whatever she could. Her teeth would bite at his skin. When the mood was right, the woman could not keep her hands off of him. Not that he minded in the first place. He appreciated her attentions and affections. It was more than he was use to anyway.

"You hungry?" he joked.

A small but aroused moan escaped her lips. "Starving." With gentle cat-like swiftness, she glided from her seat and into his lap. "You are just what the doctor order."

Hellboy gave a amused snort. "I better be." She wrapped her arms around his muscular neck before leaning in for a much needed kiss.

He tasted smokey. Not in the same as the cigar he had finished. It was more like biting into a nice, well cooked piece of barbecue. Almost sweet and robust in flavor. There was also a hint of peanuts and chocolate. More than likely from the Babyruth's he munched on by the dozens.

She tasted strong but elegant, like sipping a cup of good English tea ironically. She still had the subtle hint of the cognac on her breath, which added to her flavor.

Their first kiss came seven months. It was another joint venture between Hellsing and the BPRD. They had to take out a satanist cult in Edinburgh who managed to half-way summon a arch-fiend known as The Slasher of Veils. It was one of the few times Hellboy and Alucard fought side by side but it was, in Integra's own words, "bloody epic". After the eventual clean up, Integra and Alucard saw him off at the airport. Just before he climbed aboard the BPRD cargo plane, she asked to speak with him. Alucard seemed to have vanished after she made the offer. Hellboy was nervous. He had only just started writing her those poems in his letters. He was scared that she was going to slap him or shoot him.

Instead, she got her tiptoes and kissed him. He was the second man she had ever kissed. The first was Alucard. Partly because she was grateful to him for his service to the organization and his protection of her. And partly because she was curious what kissing was like. One of the few times her own desires came to the surface. Alucard didn't question it or reject it. It was simply a request from his master, which he obliged.

Hellboy was left in a daze. It was quick but passionate. If he wasn't red already, he certainly would be a extremely crimson right now.

She cracked a smile, patted his cheek and told him she found his poetry to be "acceptable" before strolling away, a barely notable wiggle to her step. He tried to hide his happiness as he board the plane but anyone who saw him knew that he was as giddy as teenager.

That was many months and heated kisses ago.

The feeling out process was over. This was the stage of private passions.

Integra grabbed feverishly at his brown dust, pulling him closer to her as their mouth intermingled and danced with each other. Hellboy's tail tightened its hold on her as he wrapped his arms around her form, taking care not to crush her with his right hand of doom. He had enough practice in his time with her not to do such a thing, even by accident. Sir Integra's legendary self-control was thrown to the wayside. She let go of the persona she had made for herself. The image of the fearless, unflappable commander of the Hellsing Organization. It wasn't needed right now. Her arms were left outside. Her armor was discarded. She could figuratively let her hair down and be herself. Her wants and desires all laid bare. She could have this. She could have him.

Hellboy knew this side of her. The side that longed for the simple pleasures of being herself. She never said it out-loud. Integra was never one to voice her own wants. But he knew he well enough. The way she touched him when no one was looking. The way her tone would soften ever so slight when she said his name. The way she kissed him with urgency when they were alone. Integra longed for affections. Not the kind that those blasted nobles pretend to give her or those that Walter and Alucard give her. She wanted the personal intimacy that only a boyfriend can give. She longed for it. Yearned for it. Almost demanded it. And Hellboy knew it. That's why he lets her take charge in these situations. He wanted her to have this and he wanted to give it to her. As much as she wanted. And he was happy to do it. She deserved it as much as he did.

Finally, they broke away from each other, panting like they ran a marathon. Integra rested her head on his broad chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. The song on the radio changed, setting the mood perfectly for relaxation. "There's a few hours until night," she spoke. "I can have Walter make you something for dinner."

Hellboy pondered the offer for a moment. "Hmmmm. Walt does make a mean steak."

Integra snickered. "You and your steaks. Your usual then?"

He nodded. "And those potatoes. You know the ones."

"Of course I do, dear." she cuddled closer to his body. "But that can wait for a while. At least until this song ends."

The agent sighed heavily, his chest puffing up as pillow for his woman. "And that's why you ruin the show, Hun."

The song played on, Stevie's smooth tones filling the air around them. Neither wanted to move from their spot. At least until hunger forced them to. She would call for Walter when the time was right. He would fix dinner for Hellboy and receive one of his oh so quirky complements. They would enjoy the evening out in the veranda, smoking her special cigars she only broke out when he was around. They would retire to her bed room and allow sleep to conquer their minds and bodies, tangled up in each other's limbs. Then the morning would come. Hellboy would have to say his good-byes to Integra and hitch a ride back to the states and to the BPRD, where his father would more than likely chew him out for not reporting back after his mission was over. Integra would once again pick up her weapons, slap on her armor and return to her regular life as Sir Hellsing, master of Alucard and lord of the Hellsing Organization.

But all of that would come tomorrow. Today, they were just a man and woman. Committed to each other. No labels. No titles. Just the two of them. Man and woman.

MA: how's that, fans? Took me a while to get off my ass and finish this. Not sure if I'll make a sequel but it will depend on fan interest and reviews. But that's it for our little one-shot. Hope you enjoyed it.

LATER FICCERS!