Alfred sat complacently on the edge of his seat, bare feet dangling five feet above the ground. His whistle was clamped between his teeth, the knotted cord hanging limply around his neck. The sun beat down on his bare back with unremitting heat, causing a consistent gleam of perspiration to coat his already tanned skin.
Below him the pool writhed with activity; kids shrieked to each other, toys were thrown every which way, and parents gazed from the edges in bewilderment. Barbecues were firing off hotdogs at an alarming rate, while the music from over a dozen separate parties roared to dominate one another.
Overall, it was an average Fourth of July at the pool.
Alfred paused to wipe a bead of sweat from his forehead, adjusting his sunglasses to better accommodate the high angle of the sun. Glancing up at the glaring red clock on the wall, Alfred inwardly signed, glad to know that a 10-minute-break for the kids was quickly approaching.
Not a moment later, Francis, one of Alfred's colleagues, bellowed the cherished call to order all minors out of the pool. A few adults slipped in, glad to escape the heat for a few precious minutes.
Stretching his stiff muscles, Alfred slowly climbed down the ladder attached to his stand, letting his red guard buoy thunk onto the ground beside him.
Francis sidled up to him a moment later, passing Alfred an icy water bottle wordlessly.
Alfred took it with a grateful smile. "Man it is HOT," he stuck out his tongue, running the bottle along the back of his neck. "This heat better be record breaking…" he muttered, staring suspiciously up at the sun. "I might murder somebody if it gets any hotter than this."
Francis scoffed, characteristically dramatizing the action with an eye roll. "It's July. What do you expect?" He flipped his chin length hair dramatically over his shoulder, wafting his "manly" scent onto Alfred.
Alfred paused where he was, a deadpan look overcoming his features.
"Random question," he began. "When's the last time you had sex?" he asked, suspicions growing exponentially.
"This morning." Francis hummed, stretching one arm over his head. "Why do you ask?"
Alfred sniffed.
"Ohohoh, you want advice? I assure you, my sex life is extremely interesting," Francis wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, rubbing shoulders with Alfred. "I can teach you so much if only you'd ask!"
Alfred took a large step away from Francis. "That's alright," he assured Francis with the best smile he could manage, "it's just that you get this certain…smell…after..." Well that came out fantastically, Alfred thought, grimacing. I should just shut up shut up shut up…
Francis oddly did not hear him.
"So what part do you want to hear about?" Francis asked, looking genuinely concerned for some reason. He licked his lips, as if preparing for a speech.
Alfred gave him a horrified look, about to spout some ungodly thing about the sacredness of virgins just to throw Francis off, when suddenly, something behind Francis caught his eye, stealing Alfred's words.
"What the fuck is that?!" Alfred exclaimed in bewilderment, forcing Francis to swing around and look where Alfred was.
A man, probably in his early twenties, was making his way down the steps to the pool, casually sporting a red, white, and blue speedo. A very tight speedo. But that's not exactly what Alfred was looking at.
"Why is that guy wearing a Union Jack speedo on the Fourth of July?!" Alfred shrieked, horror overcoming his features. His eyes had grown wide, and his mouth was gaping open.
Francis raised a single eyebrow, taking a good look at the man.
"At least he has the body for it." He stated simply.
"FOURTH OF JULY!" Alfred waved his arms in Francis's face. "Do you know what that means!" His ears were reddening, and his voice was exponentially growing louder. "That's unpatriotic," he hissed, mannerism changing dramatically. He threw a dirty glare towards the speedo. "I should kick him out of here…"
Francis chuckled, steering Alfred's gaze from the speedo man.
"Here's a question," Francis began, seemingly oblivious to Alfred's rancor. "Is he gay, or European?" He looked pointedly at Alfred.
"Gay." Alfred said a second later, momentarily loosing his anger. "Are you always thinking about stuff like that?" he asked, eyebrows knitting in concern. "And what does that have to do with anything?"
Francis chuckled, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "This has everything to do with you. You need to learn these kinds of things."
Alfred gave his friend a questioning look, suspicion returning. "What things?"
"If he is gay, Francis declared, blue eyes glinting dangerously, "I will buy our drinks tonight."
Alfred raised his eyebrows. He does know I'm going all out tonight, right? It's the Fourth of July!
Francis interrupted his thoughts again, "But if he is European," Francis leaned in even closer to Alfred. "Then you buy drinks."
Alfred's eyes narrowed. "So this is a bet?" He clarified. Francis nodded. "A bit of a competition too," he smirked. "We have to prove that he is either gay or European. Hard evidence."
"Deal," Alfred smirked, shaking hands with Francis to seal the pact.
"Do whatever you can to find out," Francis said, giving Alfred a wink.
Alfred rolled his eyes at Francis, ignoring the erotic implications his words carried.
Francis threw him one last knowing look, then stalked over to the other end of the pool, smiling slyly when he passed the man in the speedo. He was stretching by the edge of the pool, lean arms stretched high above his head as he twisted and turned this and that way.
Alfred stuck his tongue out at Francis, climbing up onto his own stand.
Francis was totally buying drinks tonight.
Author's Note: I can't believe "hotdog" is not a word. That's despicable. I do not understand.
But besides that, please let me know what you think! If you have any suggestions, or comments, review and I will try and incorporate them as best I can. Suggestions are always welcome. Also, if you want to make someone have a good day, review, because I guarantee it will make me happy! Let me know this isn't being sent off into a void!
Also, updates will probably be slow (once every couple weeks?) because I am a busy person. Reviews remind me that this exists, so...yeah. (:
Have a lovely day!