Random crack.
Pairing: Kid Flash/Robin
"Hey KF, want to go make out?"
"Dude, aren't you like 13?"
"Do you even care?"
"Nope!"
And then Kid Flash rushed Robin away with a woosh that sounded suspiciously like the word 'Statutory.'
They landed on Robin's bed at Mt. Justice in a pile of flailing limbs. Their kisses were a bit overly enthusiastic, but seeing as one of them was 13 and the other was a hyperactive 15-year-old that was expected. What was not expected was what Wally discovered as Robin rolled them over so he could be on top.
Wally nearly had a heart attack at the sight of Batman clutching the ceiling and glaring down at him in a way that said, "I may not kill, but for you I'd make an exeption."
"Jesus fucking Christ, dude!" Wally screamed as he pushed Robin off of him and attempted to look as if he hadn't just had his tongue down the throat of the Bat's ward.
Batman dropped down and towered over Wally like a terrifying gargoyle of intimidation. "What were you doing with Robin?" he growled at the speedster, but Wally found himself unable to answer because at that moment he was attempting to erase himself from existence with pure willpower.
Robin, in true bro fashion, tried to defend his best friend from pain at the hands of his adopted father. "Don't hurt Wally, Batman! This was my idea."
This seemed to provide a necessary distraction, as Batman turned his attention from Wally to Robin. Pulling the boy into the protective covering of his cape, Batman shushed Robin. "I knew this day would come, but I just wasn't ready!" And then he proceeded to scar him for life. "So when two people really care about one another, they sometimes feel these urges. These perfectly normal urges…"
Robin screamed as he realized this was Bruce's attempt at The Talk. "KF, help! This is seriously turbing!"
But Kid Flash, who was feeling pretty disturbed himself (with heavy emphasis on the dis), had already fled the room. He'd make it up to Robin later, hopefully in a public place where Batman couldn't get away with killing him.