Dawsey gap-filler for episode 4x04 (aftermath)

Leaning against the doorframe of their bedroom, a cup of coffee in his hands, Matt watched the rise and fall of his fiancee's chest, the subject currently deep in her sleep. He hate to wake her up from her slumber but he knew he would have to deal with a grumpy Gabby later if he didn't. Women huh. Never could anyone fully understand them.

"Hey babe. I'm leaving for work now," he said slightly shaking her shoulders.

"Hmmm ok babe. Be safe," she replied groggily.

Matt shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. Placing a goodbye kiss on her forehead, he grabbed his bag and made his way out of the apartment.

"Hey, welcome back Lieutenant. How's our girl doing?" Hermann turned to greet his Lieutenant as they made their way through the driveway to the firehouse.

"She's getting better. Doc gave her 2 weeks of medical leave. She'll be back for duty once she clears her physical after," Matt replied to Gabby's surrogate father.

"Aah, she's strong. She'll rally. Just be there for her."

Matt gave Hermann an appreciative smile as they made their way through the double doors and into the locker room where he found the rest of his crew members getting ready for shift. All of them had visited Gabby in the hospital and after she was released, dropped by their apartment on a number of occasion to give their support. They will hang around for an hour or two and Matt could see that each time after any of them came by, Gabby will be in a much more cheerful mood. They kept her from thinking too much about happened and he feels very appreciative towards them.

There was a series of welcome back greetings the moment his crew saw him as he stepped into the locker room. "Thanks guys. It feels good to be back. Gabby told me to say hi to all of you and that she will be back in no time to keep Otis in line."

There was a chorus of relief laughter as everyone silently breathes a silent thank you to the Lord above for not taking their sister away from them too soon. "Ah, she's ready to come back today but decided to play hookey for a few more shifts instead," Otis replied with a smile on his face. Gabby is like a sister to him. He miss ribbing with her and generally hanging out with one of the coolest girl he had gotten the chance to know. He decided he shall start the day by forwarding to her a meme he just received from one of his CFD buddies that is sure to make her belly laugh.

"Lieutenant Casey, Chief wants to see you," Connie informed him as he sat in his office looking through the reports of the last few shifts he missed as he had taken some furlow to take care of Gabby. To be honest, he was not really concentrating on the reports. His thoughts were on Gabby, worried about how she is holding up especially since this is the first time she is on her own since the surgery. He had notice the distant look she had on her face when she thought no one was around and everytime he sees it, all he wants to do is gather her into his arms and tell her everything is going to be fine. That what happened was not her fault. But he knows Gabby. She just needs time on her own to deal with what happened and move on.

Turning his head, he looked up at Connie standing at the doorway of his office, "Thanks Connie. I'll be right out."

"Hey Chief, you wanted to see me?"

Boden eyed his lieutenant as he walked walked into his office and stood before his desk. He looked better than he did when he was at the hospital but Boden wanted to make sure that his head is at the right place.

"I just wanted to check up on you. How're you doing?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Really. Time heals all wounds right? I'm just glad Gabby made it through."

Just like Casey to deal with things by not dealing with them, Boden thought. He knows Casey to bury his thoughts and feelings deep within him but he wants to make sure that Casey knows he has the support of his firehouse family as two of their members get through this tragedy. "Anytime, anytime you feel like talking, my door is always open."

"Thanks Chief," Casey replied with a small smile, appreciating his Chief's concerns. It's just like him to take care of his people and be there for them no matter what happens. Casey turned to leave intending this time with more determination to finish reading the reports on his desk before breakfast.

Boden stared at his lieutenant's retreating back and no matter how much Casey tries to convince him that he is doing well on all fronts, he noticed the slumped of his shoulders. He knew that posture. It's a sign that Casey is carrying too much weight on his shoulders. He knows that all Casey wants to do is to protect the woman he loves at all cost but Boden is going to make sure that Casey knows he can rely on others in the house too to share the weight. He sighed as Connie popped her head into his office informing him that Chief Riddle was on his way to House 51.

"Chows up!" exclaimed Borelli.

Matt was leaning against the kitchen counter, his second cup of coffee in his hand, his eyes roaming around the common room. The rowdy sound of his men fooling around and the sounds from the tv were sounds that he is familiar with but it was missing something; the sweet and addictive laughter of his girl. His heart tugged a little as he thought of her. Only a few hours had passed since he left her in her slumber and he missed her already. Taking his phone out from his jacket pocket, he started to make his way back to his office.

"You eating with us, Lieutenant?" he heard Otis called out to him.

"I'll be back," he replied, waving his phone in his hand not turning around.

He heard the laughter and snickering from his men as he turned the corner. They can tease him all they want. He got his girl back, that is all that matters.

He felt his phone vibrating in his hand the moment he stepped into his office. Looking at the caller ID, a huge smile formed across his face.

"Hey babe."

"Hey. I miss you. Sorry I couldn't wake up this morning to see you off. The painkillers knocked me right out."

"Don't worry about it. I miss you too by the way. Was just about to give you a call and see how you're doing."

"I'm fine Matt. I'm not about to break apart, ok."

"I know. I know. It's just hard to be apart from you that's all."

"It's only been a few hours, baby. I'll see you soon."

"You have a doctor's appointment later right? I can take a few hours off to go with you and Hermann can cover for me."

"I'll be alright on my own. Don't worry about me ok."

"It's my job to worry about you."

Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambo 61, Battalion 25. Structure fire.

"Hey babe, I got to go. I'll call you later alright. Love you."

"Love you too. Stay safe."

"Hey guys, not a word to Dawson about the call just now alright" Matt turned around from his seat to look at his men seated in the back as they made their way back to quarters from their last call.

"I don't think you can hide that one from her, Casey," Hermann replied pointing a finger to the gash on Casey's forehead that had been plastered up pretty nicely by Brett when they were on scene.

"She doesn't need to know the details."

Hermann shook his head. He understood Matt's situation. He had been there himself. Trying to compensate for the life of one of your own that you can't save by saving others that you can. But that guy is going to extremes to save all lives and at the same time putting himself in great danger. His heart went out to his lieutenant. He better be keeping an eye on him, he thought.

"Hey Casey, it's about 18 hours more till shift ends. You sure you can go that long without Dawson?" Otis teased as he caught his lieutenant looking at his phone for the thousandth time that day since shift started and a smile would always be playing on his lips as he read through his messages.

"Shut it, Otis. I don't see any girl's name popping on your phone," Cruz jumped into Casey's defence before Casey can lodged one on his own.

"Don't worry guys. In fact, she might be coming by later today," Casey intervened before a war breaks out between the two knuckleheads. Cruz might have joined the Squad team, but more often than not, he can still be found hanging around the Truck guys during down time. It doesn't matter though. Truck or Squad, they are family.

"That's great! Maybe Borelli here can fix us a nice lunch since a special guest is coming," Mouch cannot help but use the opportunity to have freshly cooked food for lunch rather than finishing the french toast that had since turned cold before the call earlier.

Matt shook his head at his men as they began to talk back and forth about lunch and french toast. He is glad Gabby had taken up his invitation to come over to the house after her doctor's appointment. He can breathe much easier knowing he can keep an eye on her while she's here.

"Catching up on paperwork?" Matt's head immediately popped up from the reports on his desk the moment he heard the familiar sweet voice rang through his office.

"Hey, you made it." Matt can't stop the huge smile spreading over his face as he turned to see his girl standing at his office's doorway. Her beautiful face and sweet voice lifting his spirits.

"Yeah, I caught up with the guys, thanking them for all their support. They were all so sweet." Gabby said as she leaned against Matt's desk.

Casey smiled at the thought of his men being sweet to his lady, their sister if they could call her that.

"Matt, what happened?"

Casey saw the the worry etched in her face as her eyes landed on the band aid on his eyebrow and her hand already went up to inspect the injury.

Raising his hand unconsciously to the band aid, Matt replied with a shrug, "It's nothing. Just a small cut from the last call."

"How are you feeling?" he quickly continued trying to change the subject.

"I'm fine. The stitich wound is healing pretty nicely," Gabby replied offhandedly, narrowing her gaze at the abrupt change of subject. She didn't buy what Matt had just told her but thought that it was best to let it slip it for now. She will ask Otis about it later.

"Yeah, so you don't need me to play nurse anymore then?" Casey said as he stood up and pulled the door close behind her. Trapped between himself and the door, Gabby felt his breath on her face as he bent down to slowly capture her lips with his own. Their kiss quickly began to get hot and steamy but before it could go on any further, he stopped with ragged breath and rested his forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry. Got a little out of hand."

Gabby smiled up at him, cupping his face with both hands. Stroking his clean shaven jaw lovingly, she said, "You'll be the first to know when i get the all clear."

"I better be, darling," he replied teasingly as he gave a final peck to her forehead before taking her hand and leading her to his cot.

"You can rest here, keep me company."

"Don't let me get used to all this pampering."

"Oh, rest assured this is never going to end. I'm never letting anything happened to you."

Gabby smiled faintly. She knows that she's a strong and independent woman and Matt said so that was what he admired most about her. Perhaps this is only a temporary side effect of what happened and she understood Matt's instinctive nature to be more protective. But she definitely needs to have a talk with him if he gets too overbearing but right now she loves the attention he's been giving her and she intends to embrace it. Reaching for a book that was sitting by the bedside table, she settled herself on the cot.

"First Time Parenting." That was the title of the book that was by his bedside table. A sudden wave of realisation hit her. Matt had been excited to bring up a child together with her and she felt really guilty for destroying his dream. Her heart clenched as she stared at the back of his head seated at his desk finishing up his paperwork. She loves him so much and all she wanted is to make him happy but she has destroyed whatever happiness she could have provided for him. She felt fresh tears threatening to fall as she quickly laid the book back down where she found it. She had not cried since that day she woke up from her second surgery and was informed of her miscarriage. Matt had not left her side since then and she had taken strength from just being near him, blocking her emotions from re-surfacing. She was determined to move on and accept what fate had brought upon them. But she realised now that she had been selfish. She should have known that she was pregnant sooner. The symptoms were all there. She could have prevented losing her baby - Matt's baby - by not entering into that burning building at the last call they had before she found out she was pregnant. She turned to her side, facing the wall, as tears that she fought hard to control slowly fell, dampening the pillows beneath her head.

Hearing the sniffles from the cot behind him, Matt turned around to find Gabby lying on her side, eyes tightly, trying her best to control her cries but he could see the hurt she was feeling from the contort of her face and the deep frown in her eyebrows. Worried, he rushed to her side. "Baby, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" Laying a hand on a small part of her back, he rubbed her back in circular motion thinking that maybe she was having some cramps and what he was doing will soothe her. His vision then spotted the book on the bedside table and instantly he knew what happened. He felt a tight squeeze in his chest as all the painful thoughts of what happened recently came barrelling into him. He must be strong, he thought. He needs to be there for Gabby. Their baby might have brought them back together sooner, but there was no doubt in his mind and in his heart that it was only a matter of time before they would have found their way back to each other's arms. Shaking off his boots, he laid down beside her on his side, placing his hand on her waist and pulled her close against him. "It's ok. It's going to be alright. You and I. We are all that matters. Shhh..."

It was then he realised that they both had not completely recover from their loss but he promise himself that they'll get there in due time and they will do so, together.