A/N: Hey all. I decided to upload a Christmas poem all about Bleach this year. I hope you find it as entertaining as I do~!
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Bleach universe
Not a creature was stirring, not even Keigo's hearse
The stockings were hung by the zanpakuto with care
In hopes that old man Yama
Soon would be there
The Shinigami were nestled
All snug in their beds
While visions of Hollow danced in their heads
And Aizen in his kerchief, and Gin in his hat
Had just settled down for a
Winter War nap
When out in Hueco Mundo
There arose such a clatter
Gin reluctantly got up
To see what was the matter
Away to the window he prowled like a cat
Tore open the curtains and muttered choice words
The moon on the crest of boring old sand
Gave the lustre of snow to the objects below
When what to his sleepy eyes should appear
But all of the Arrancar
Dressed up as reindeer
With an ugly old man, so scarred and so tall
Gin knew in a moment, Aizen's rule would surely fall
More rabid than squirrels, the Espada they came
And he coughed and he growled, and called them by name
"Now Yammy! Now Starrk! Now Barragan, Now Harribel!
Now Ulquiorra, Now Nnoitra, Now Grimmjow, Now Zommari!
Now Szayel and Aaroniero and Neliel Tu!
To torch Hueco Mundo, Aizen and all!
Now fight away fight away fight away all!"
And like Toshiro when Matsumoto is drunk,
They roared and they shouted, they crashed a beer truck
And then they launched their most deadly attack
With hellfire and ribbons, they slaughtered and slew
And then in fear, Gin heard on the roof,
Each footstep and cackle, each piece of proof
That the end was near, they were about to go poof!
Down through the ceiling old man Yama appeared
Dressed in hideous red, with fur head to foot
His clothes were all torn, smelled of ashes and soot
A bundle of Hollows, he'd slung on his back
And how he looked like a pedo when he opened the sack
Oh you sickos you idiots I mean not a word
You're so perverted these days
And I want candy nerds..
Old man Yama cackled with glee
And he bellowed quite loud
And yet Gin managed to stay quite still and quite proud
And the smoke it began to leak into the room
But Aizen didn't stir
Such a cowardly cur!
Old man Yama began to dance like an elf
How, no one knew
But Ulquiorra hid on a shelf
Grimmjow clawed his way under the floor
They all knew that death would be nigh
And yet, Harribel sighed.
"This is quite boring, I thought it would be fun
To deliver presents to Toshiro
And find Sung Sun.
I say we quit, we go cause mayhem,
I hear Yachiru
Will wake soon and cause mischief
And Byakuya will shout and foam at his mouth
The old Head Kuchiki would roll in his grave,
And poor old Grimmjow
Has no more a knave."
Do not ask the author what she means here,
For authors are quite nasty little things
They bite and they shout
They giggle and laugh
But this little author, delivers Christmas Crack.
And so my dear readers, I leave you to Isshin
Who I have entrusted a valuable mission.
Isshin arrived at the scene of despair
And could not help but laugh
At Aizen tied to a chair
And Yachiru innocently munching on a candy cane bunch
It wouldn't last much longer
Than a Christmas day lunch.
As the bright moon shone down
On the destruction of Hueco Mundo
The Espada dressed as reindeer, and rabid as squirrels,
And old man Yama hideously dressed in red and fur from head to foot
He couldn't help but say to himself
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a hilarious night."