"Come on, be a mate," James clucked. "You've done it loads of times. The least you could do is give me advice."
Sirius, as resolute as ever, shook his head.
"I need it," James whinged.
Sirius shook his head in silence, deep in thought.
"I hate you, you know that?" James threw a pillow across their dorm room, hitting Sirius in the face.
At that, Sirius looked up. He was not laughing, and there was no humour in his demeanor as he stated, "I haven't."
"You have! Remember that muggle girl last summer-"
"Bethany and I were just friends."
"That's rubbish!" James shouted. "You went to the cinema all the time!"
"To the cinema!" Sirius repeated.
"To make out-"
"To watch movies, Prongs."
"Never," James pouted. "Besides, I've been in your trunk, I know what you keep in there."
Sirius groaned.
"So don't tell me you haven't done it-"
"I have," Sirius answered flatly. "Loads of times."
"See-"
"I haven't done it with a girl, Prongs."
For once in his life, James Potter was left speechless. Finally, eyes locked on Sirius, James groped for something, anything... "But... Bethany-"
"Movies," Sirius repeated.
"She must have thought yuo had somethign wrong with you," James hissed.
"Thanks a load, mate," Sirius sighed. "What she thought was that I was spending the summer away from my boyfriend. She knew."
"Bethany my muggle neighbor knew- Merlin's armpits what did you just say? Boyfriend?"
Sirius ducked his head, hoping he wasn't blushing.
"But you're never around anyone but us. And I know it's not me... Peter!" gasped James. For his ridiculous conclusion, Sirius sent his pillow soaring back into his face.
James cleared his throat, all jocular demeanor finally gone from his own countenance. "Really, though, Sirius. Is it Remus?"
Sirius ducked his head and nodded minutely.
"How long?"
"Two years," Sirius answered.
James whistled low.
"Sorry I never told you. Are we alright?" Sirius asked meekly.
"Yeah, 'course," James smiled reassuringly. "But you could do me a big favour."
"Anything," Sirius, relieved beyond compare, felt he would have walked to the ends of the Earth for James Potter.
"Be a mate and give me some sex advice."
Sirius' only regret at that point was that he had already thrown back the pillow and had nothing to hit James with.