Always Beside You
Tarika wiped the tear drop from the corner of her eyes and made herself strong. So, he's leaving. She never thought he would leave like this. And the worst part was, she couldn't ask him to stay. How could she? Had she the rights? Their unnamed relationship never allowed her to demand things which a normal girl would like to do.
Unnamed relationship.
"Kab a rahe hai ACP sir?" She asked as normal as she could manage.
Abhijeet could feel her broken emotions in her tone. He closed his eyes. Oh, this part was tougher than the first one. He knew he's behaving selfish. He only thought about himself. But, only he knew how tough it was to take the decision of leaving her. He wished he could stay. But he couldn't bear Daya's hatred anymore. It was killing him every moment.
He turned to face her. She turned her face to a side before he could see her teary eyes. Abhijeet took two steps ahead and Tarika step back immediately- a clear declaration not to come closer. Abhijeet felt dejected, humiliated. But deep down he knew he deserved that.
Tarika wasn't still looking at him.
"I am sorry." He apologized yet again.
Tarika nodded vigorously trying to send back her tears.
"Tarika, mere taraf dekho."
Tarika shook her head.
Abhijeet again stepped forward and Tarika again stepped back, hurriedly this time, almost losing her balance. But the wall behind her supported her in no time.
"Tarika... " He raised his hand to touch her.
She tried to emerge into the wall. She didn't want to be touched by him right now.
Abhijeet placed his hand on her shoulder, his fingers barely touching her.
"Tarika mein samajh Sakta Hu ki tumhe bahot dhakka laga hoga... Par mein... Mein majboor Hu."
Tarika just looked at him, her vision blurred by tears.
It was hard from him, no doubt... But what about them?
What about all the silent promises? What about the trust that kept them together through years without words?
"Tarika... "
She looked into his eyes.
She was hurt... Shattered.
"ACP Sahab 3-4 din mein aa jayenge."
Tarika nodded.
She couldn't do anything else... He had left her no choice. He never asked for her opinion. All along, he just made statements... Assertions that she would have to deal with irrespective of whether she agreed or not.
And that's what hurt her the most... He didn't bother asking her what she thought. It was almost as if she didn't matter, as if he was pushing her out of his life. Worse yet, it was as if she wasn't enough... She was there, with him - every minute of their journey. But perhaps for him, that wasn't enough...
She had failed.
Failed to see him through his pain...
Failures were devastating - especially when you had put your heart, your soul, your everything into something.
"Kuch bologi Nahi ? "
His voice brought her back to the present.
"Bolne ke liye kuch hai?" She spoke in a low tone, "Tum toh apna decision le Chuke na..."
Abhijeet felt his heart ache.
He was hurting the very person who had always stood with him... Trying to heal him. He was hurting the one he loved the most... He was bringing tears to the most beautiful pair of eyes... To the same eyes that had only love for him and nothing else.
He was leaving the person who trusted him the most... Who trusted him without reason, who went against the whole world just to stand by him.
"Ta-"
"Haan tum majboor ho!" She burst out, hot tears rolling down her cheeks one after the other, "dukhi ho tum... "
She held his shoulders and shook him.
"Par unka kya Jo tumse umeed rakhte Hain?"
"Mera kya?" she added, in an audible tone.
She left him and looked away, angrily, "Mujhe toh ye puchne ka haq bhi nahi hai."
"Tumhe sab haq hai Tarika. Sab. Sirf or sirf tunhe."
He moved close to her, their body almost touching. Abhijeet touched her one cheek and Tarika removed his hand immediately, roughly.
"Mujhe jane do." Tarika said. He was too close to her. Her small movement would make her body touch his'. Abhijeet didn't move to give her space.
"Naraj ho?" He asked.
"Haq nahi hai."
"Hai."
"Jata nahi patey ho."
"Janta hu."
"Kash ye bhi jante ketna muskil hai mere liye." Tarika look into his eyes.
"Janta hu Tarika."
"Jante ho?" Tarika asked sarcastically.
Abhijeet nodded.
"Daya ka nafrat mujjhse bardast nahi kia jata," Abhijeet cried, "Maine bohot koshish ki.. wo samajhtahi nahi. I know I am selfish, but mai kya karu.. tum hi batao. Maine apne tarike se sari koshish ki."
Tarika smirked, "Huh, aise dur chale jane se tum khush rahoge?"
"Khush! Tumhare bina? Daya ke bina? Tarika Duniya mei tin cheeze mujhe jaan se jayada payari hai... meri duty, Daya oor..."
"Or kuch nahii."
"Or tum Tarika."
Tarika smiled with tears in her eyes.
"Mai... hahaha.."
"Tarika.. mai, mai bas dekhna chahta hu ki Daya ko mere jane se fark parta hai ya nahi."
"Or mujhe fark parta hai ya nahi uska kya?" Tarika shouted, "Main kabhi tumhare or Daya ke bich nahi ana chahti thi. Kabhi nahi. Tumhari duty pe bhi kabhi kabhi mujhe guussa ajata hai.. par Daya pe nahi... I know what he is for you."
She pushed him aside and walk passed him.
"Tum, tum Daya ke liye jo kuch kar rahe ho wahi thik nahi Abhijeet. Ek dost tumse naraj hai or tum use chorke ja rahe ho? Jante ho wo ketna tut jaiga is vat se ki tumne transfer uske waja se liya."
Abhijeet understood what Tarika was trying to say. Whenever Abhijeet got injured to save Daya, Daya used to say one thing always-
'Mere toh age piche koi nahii hai Abhijeet.. par tumhare liye koi intezar karti hai... tumhare har sanso ke liye dua karti hai... usse najre nahi mila pata mai Abhijeet. Ek ye gila hota hai ki mere wajaja se tum u jakhmi huye ho... or upar se ek or taklif hoti hai jab use dekhta hu toh.'
But somewhere between bullets wounds and skinning hearts, their friendship had taken an unimaginable turn.
"Chhodkar Kar jaa Raha Hu usse! " He smiled ruefully, "Paas rehkar Bhi toh dur hi Hu na mein Tarika."
He walked towards her and made her face him.
"Jaanta Hu mein... Mein tumhara gunegaar Hu. Bahot taklif hui hai tumhe meri wajah se."
"Jaan Kar Bhi anjaan bann rahe ho"
Her eyes teary, she sounded hurt.
"Tumhe kya Lagta hai Tarika - ye sab Kar ke mujhe Acha lag Raha hai? Mere liye ye sab Asaan hai?"
"Mere sochne ya na sochne se kuch Nahi badalne waala."
"Tum chahti ho ki mein apna decision badal du?"
"Tumhe Nahi pata?"
Abhijeet looked at her for a moment before speaking.
"Shayad jaanta Hu... Magar tumse kuch sun'na Chahta hu - agar tum meri jagah Hoti toh kya Karti Tarika?"
Tarika shrugged.
"Abhijeet agar tum ye sun'na Chahte ho ki mein tumhari decision se sehmat Hu - toh aisa Nahi hone waala."
"Tarika... mere situation to samjho..."
"Tum meri situation samjho na?"
"Just forget me yaar..." Abhijeet said abruptly. he didn't actually wanted to say this. It just came out. And he regretted his words the moment it came out.
"Bhul jau?" She whispered.
"Mera wo.. wo matlab nahi tha.."
"Toh kya matlab tha?"
"Tarika... mai toh bas.. "
"Tum tooh bas kya! All these years i thought we share a relationship. Unnamed? Yes. But I never offended that. I trusted you with all that I have. I gave you my everything, everything Abhi. and now, after so many years... you are saying forget me.. "
"Tarika.. please, bas nikal gaya.."
"Kya matlab nikalu mai iska Abhijeet?? That I am just your slu.."
"Tarika..." Abhijeet warned her, angry. He held her shoulders roughly and shook her.
"Ainda aisi bat apne juban pe laya toh mujhse bura koi nahi hoga. samjhi tum?"
His eyes were blood shot. She looked down.
"Aise chorke jarahe ho... tab kuch nahi hota... ab mai bol rahi hu toh... tumhi ne toh kaha haq hai mujhe..."
"Apne apko etna 3rd class language meii adress karne ka haq nahi hai tumhe, samjhi?"
"Haq ke dayre bandh rahe ho?" she looked into his eyes.
"Jo samajh na hai samjho."
"Tum apna decision nahi badloge na?"
"Ab toh bilkul nahi badlubga."
He left her and turned around.
"Toh phir mai chalti hu."
Abhijeet faced her.
"Haan jao."
He couldn't face her. How could she think herself that low? How? He made her feel like this? He felt like killing himself.
Abhijeet moved ahead and crushed into the sofa. He held his head in between his hands. Tarika stood beside him.
"Gai nahi abtak? Jao."
"I am sorry."
"Ku?"
"Tumhe mujhse sahara chahiye tha.. mai de nahi pai."
"Tumhe bhi toh mujhse bohot kuch chahiye tha.. jo mai nahi de paya." Abhijeet smirked, "kya fark parta hai."
"Mai bas chahti hu tum thande dimag se socho... jo bhi faisala loge.. mai tumhare sathh hu." Tarika said, forcefully.
"Haan.. wahi toh karogi... tum toh bas meri... chey... tumne aisa soch bhi keisey liya Tarika... chi.. mujhe khud se hi ghin a rahi hai..." Abhijeet looked away.
"Aisa mat Kaho Abhijeet - meine na jaane aisa kaise bol Diya... Please... I'm sorry."
"Aaj mein apni hi nazro mein gir Gaya Tarika."
"Nahi," Tarika said strongly, "Mera Abhijeet Kisi ki nazar mein Nahi gir sakte... Khud ki nazar mein Bhi Nahi - samjhe tum?"
Abhijeet sighed. He still couldn't get over it.
Tarika kept her hand on his cheek and made him look towards her.
"Jaa rahi thi na tum?"
She took her hand away from his cheek.
"Tum sach mein Chahte ho ki mein chali jau?"
"Agar meine Haan kaha toh tum chali jaogi?"
"Tum mujhse jhooth kabse bolne lagey Abhijeet?"
"Ye mere sawal Ka jawab Nahi."
"mujhe Jo kehna tha mein keh chuki."
"Mein samjha Nahi."
"Toh mat samjho."
"Haan... Jaane doh."
Tarika took a deep breath and took his hand in hers.
"Mein bus ek baat jaanti Hu Abhijeet... Tum akele Nahi ho."
"Aur agar Mera koi kadam tumhe hurt Karey... Phir Bhi?"
"Kaato se Darne waalo ko gulaab naseeb Nahi hota."
"Tunhare raste mei toh sirf katehi bhare pare hai." Abhijeet looked away, taking his hand out of her grip.
Tarika sighed sitting beside him.
"Janti ho," Abhiheet continued, "Ketna muskil tha mere liye khud ko manana... Kitni koshish ke bad himmat zuta paya hu tumse ye kehne ka."
Tarika just listened. Had she just doubted his love for her? Heck, yes she did. How could she? He never had broken those unsaid promises. Never. He's there whenever she needed him and what' she doing now? She can't even say, 'Abhijeet, I am with you. I respect your decision.'
"Abhijeet," she said, "mai bas etna kehna chahti hu ki.. tum jo bhi decision lo soch samajh ke lo... n mai har decision mei tumhare sath hu. Bas."
Tarika proceeded to stand up when Abhijeet held her hand pulled her down again. He looked into her eyes but she averted his gaze. Abhijeet sighed.
"Tarika ek bat batao... kya pehle wale mai or aj ke mai mei fark hai? Kya mere bartawe mei koi badlao hai? Kya tumhare sath physical relationship hone ka bad mere tumhare liye jo caring, jo apnapan tha wosab badal gai?"
"Abhijeet... mai toh bas... please, aisa mat bolo." Tarika cried.
"Tarika... i can live my whole life without touching you."
Tarika couldn't take it anymore and hugged him.
"I know Abhijeet. I know. I am sorry. Bas gusse mei bol diya. Sach. Please aisa kuch mat bolo jo hamare rishte ko chota kar de. Please. I can't take it."
Abhijeet hugged her back.
"Bola toh tumne hi na."
"I am sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry."
Abhijeet chuckled.
"Me too. Maine bhi toh bola bhul jao mujhe" he ruffled her hair.
Abhijeet tried to separate her but she didn't move.
"Tarika.." he called her softly.
"Rehne do na aise kuch der. In palo ko thora keid karne do yado mei. Kya pata bas inke sahare hi jina par jai."
"Aisa nahi hoga Tarika. Mere yaha se jane se tunhare sath mera rishta kabhi nahii tutega. Mai tutne dungahi nahi."
Tarika broke the hug and looked at him. There's a mysterious spark in his eyes. she didn't know what was that. She didnt know whether it meant he would take her with him or he would stay in touch. and frankly saying, she didn't damn care. For her, only his promises matter, his unsaid promises. Tarika grinned from ear to ear and Abhijeet felt relaxed seeing her.
She hugged him again. The hug was soothing this time. Abhijeet kissed her hair as he wrapped her within his shell, protectively.
AN:
Whether Abhijeet would have taken her with him or would have kept in contact with her we never got to know as he never actually left. ;)
.Another one from our side. Keep reviewing if you want is to post our next one. Less reviews, delayed updates. Abx also keep sharing your ideas with us.Abhirika forever.