Shifting means

She didn't know for how long she'd been feeling it, this attraction towards the woman she supposedly despised. She had always felt the sexual tension that was present every time they were both in a room together. Fake smiles, cold stares, and those sick conversations she'd always enjoyed more than she'd admit. She appreciated the older woman for the challenging and clever opponent that she was, and perhaps, for something else. They shared many qualities after all. Both had instincts, and the ability to lie as well as to recognize fraud when they saw it. Although Emily was good at hiding her motives, she knew Victoria never trusted her. She was to remain a mystery, for the sake of her mission and the memory of her father. David Clarke. There were days when she would ask herself what it was that made David fall for Victoria, so hard that he ended up losing everything for her, because of her. And now that she was so close to avenging him, she was beginning to see that perhaps, the reason why he'd fallen for Victoria, was the same reason why she was falling for her too. Victoria was a special woman. Of course she had flaws. She was sick and had done terrible things for which she deserved to pay. Emily was to make sure that she did. There would be no redemption, only her personal sense of accomplishment and satisfaction flooding when she would see them all fall into misery. She would take the Graysons down and make Victoria suffer as much as she had suffered, without ever her knowing that she was actually David Clarke's daughter.

As much as that thought was appealing to Emily, somehow, deep down, she'd wished Victoria could see right through her, read her mind. But that wasn't possible nor ideal, regarding the circumstances. She felt guilty for having fantasies of Victoria, for almost wishing her discovering her identity. She knew Emily didn't love Daniel, but she was only seeing one side of the moon. Emily didn't like the fact that Victoria probably saw her as an opportunistic, manipulative and beneficial man eater, who only wanted to gain power by becoming a Grayson. She sure was using Daniel to gain power inside and over his family, but unlike Ashley, Emily was driven by something more dignifying, according to her, than money, power or fame. Something stronger than anything else; revenge. All she was doing, as questionable as it seemed, was due to her love for her father. That mattered to Emily, as she felt her heart was in the right place. But was it?

Earlier this morning, she'd seen Victoria's struggle while she was reading letters from potential sons, and there was something saddening about witnessing her vulnerability. At first Emily thought Victoria was just ashamed of being exposed, and that's all there was to it. But as it went on it seemed possible that all that Victoria displayed was genuine grief and interest in knowing what had happened to her lost son. Part of Emily was feeling bad for her. But then again the biggest part of her was vindictive and enjoyed to cause her pain, to taunt her: "How disgraceful. All of these people trying to capitalize on your pain."

-Emily, dear, that extravagant ring on your finger does not give you permission to flit in and out of my house without good reason.

-I was here asking Charlotte to be my maid of honor. She's really so excited to see Paris.

-She's already seen it, multiple times.

-I would assume that you of all people would appreciate the city of lights, Victoria. After all, isn't that where you attended art school all of those years ago?

Provoking Victoria was her best way to "offload" and vent her frustrations. And Victoria's penetrating gaze after that was her reward. It seemed to be a game between the two of them, and the closest she'd found to satisfying if not enhancing their sexual tension. Too bad this discussion was sharply ended with the entrance of Jack, obviously expected by Victoria.

That's when the game had shifted to Victoria's advantage in a few seconds, as Emily's startled and destabilized look, pleased her every bone. And before Emily could make sense of what she was feeling, Victory-Victoria was saying goodbye with an evil smile shutting the door behind them.

Victoria liked to play with Emily's soft spots, and she had found that Jack was one of them. But what she had no clue of, was that Jack, to Emily, wasn't as much of a sensitive subject as he used to be. In fact, she couldn't believe nor admit it to herself, but it appeared as though lately, Victoria had become a more important soft spot to her than any other person in her life. She never thought the day would come when she would be enjoying Victoria's company and see Jack's interruption as quite a disturbance. But that's how it felt. At the moment, she felt jealous of Jack for stealing away her chat with Victoria and taking it inside the private room. And suddenly it hit her. She was falling in love with the enemy. She stopped herself and tried to come to her senses. "Oh my god what am I thinking. Emily pull yourself together for god's sake."

Nolan had paid his friend a visit, looking for updates on the newly engaged couple, and found that Emily was particularly on edge. "It was one thing when he was working for Conrad, but what business would Jack have with Victoria?"

-Maybe he wants her recipe for devil's food cake.

-I'm serious, Nolan.

If Nolan had learnt anything about Emily, it's that when she wasn't in the mood, she wasn't. And if she had something on her mind that preoccupied her, she had to take care of it before something or someone else did. "If I don't know what he's up to, how am I gonna do anything about it?"

-You realize you can't protect Jack forever, don't you?

-I made a promise to Amanda, and I plan to keep it.

Nolan didn't respond. There was something in Emily's voice that broke. She sat down and sighed. The silence got heavy. Could this be a sign of fatigue? Of disillusion? Perhaps Emily was fed up with it all, maybe she was ready to give up. But no, Emily could not stop now, she couldn't bear defeat. Or was there more to it? She wouldn't tell him if he asked, so he remained silent, watching her every move, waiting for some kind of reaction, until she burst into tears. "Ems? What is it? You're upset because of Jack?"

-Jack this Jack that! Nolan, could you stop with Jack? I have other concerns. In case you didn't know, tomorrow is the engagement party and I am so not in the mood for it. That's all.

-Are you sure that this is all?

At this point, Emily didn't know what possessed her, but she felt like finally getting it off her chest, to the only person she trusted on earth. "Nolan, I-I have-I am developing feelings that could jeopardize my mission.

-Okay, go on.

-Feelings for a person I never thought I could see this way.

Nolan, overwhelmed by Emily's emotion and loss of self-control, was having a hard time understanding what was so new and so different about her love/romance folder, and so he played the guessing game: "So, this isn't about Jack? Then it must be about, let's see, Aiden?"

Between sobs, Emily nodded her head from side to side, indicating that it wasn't Aiden.

-I see, then it's Daniel. Oh Ems, maybe you should just get married and drop this whole-

-No Nolan, no it's not Daniel, it's worse.

Nolan looked at her, startled and confused, pausing for a moment. Emily wasn't crying anymore. She just had that sad expression of defeat, and took a deep breath before turning to him and saying "I think I am in love with Victoria."

If Nolan didn't know her any better, he'd say she was pulling his leg. But Emily hardly made the jokes around here, nor did she cry very often. Especially not for someone who'd played a part in the crime against her father. So what was she talking about? "You-you are what?"

-Don't make me repeat it. It's embarrassing enough as it is.

-Huh sorry. You know what they say, whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer them with love.

Nolan's poor attempt to lighten the atmosphere left him smiling like an idiot, until he began to realize how serious this was. "Since when has it been going on?"

-I think I realized it when Charlotte told me Victoria hadn't died in the plane crash. At that time I felt so-

-Relieved?

-Yes, and I guess, happy.

-Because you had a possibility to ruin her.

-No that wasn't it. I wanted to believe that I hated her but, I didn't. I don't and I can't. She's everything I would look for in someone. I don't expect you to understand even I find it hard.

-Don't worry Ems, I don't judge you. You never judged me. I of all people know how it feels to be attracted to someone you're not supposed to.

-Thank you Nolan.

-But I also know that it can be dangerous. Umm what are you planning to do about it?

-I don't know Nolan, but thanks for understanding. I need a moment to think, alone, if you don't mind.

-Sure I can pick up a clue. See ya later.

Emily felt a little better about having this heart to heart with Nolan, although she was even more confused. She had to assess the significance and consequences of such a confession. Was it implying that she had forgiven Victoria? That her mission was aborted? Right now she was too tired to figure that out and decided it was time for her to slip under the covers. Only she was afraid of what she would be dreaming of this time, for her mind had been playing dirty tricks on her for the past few weeks…