"I didn't know how to tell you, Dean. What was I supposed to do? What? Call you? Call you and say what? The truth? You never would have come back if that was the case. I needed you to come back. You have to watch after her. You are the only one I trust." Remy's words were quite clear but I still had not processed the information. Not yet. It was far too painful.
"I can't."
"You have to. Think about." She said.
Sam. My little brother, the person I loved more than anything on this entire planet. Sam was gone. Sam was dead. My one job in life was to protect Sammy, and I couldn't do that. I had just lost my baby brother, and now Remy wanted to tell me this kind of news. My brother, my best friend, had slept with the woman I loved and now she was pregnant with his child. Lennon was pregnant with Sam's baby. How was I supposed to deal with that? I knew exactly how to deal with it, but unfortunately Remy seemed to know what I wanted to do and before I could even reach the liquor she had already poured the rest of it down the drain. Dammit. Scary Bitch clearly wasn't in the mood to argue and quite frankly neither was I.
"I can't go back to Lawrence. Okay? Not now. Lennon is pregnant with Sam's baby! How do you expect me to help her? What? Be some type of surrogate father to Sam's kid?" I stood up looking down at Remy Malone wondering if she was at least a little bit intimidated by size. I stood at least a foot taller than her and I could probably take her out in minutes, if I was sober. Scary Bitch would probably be the type to fight dirty though, Remy had never been known to play games and I had seen her knock Sam on his ass once or twice.
"You need to pull yourself together. This isn't about you or how you feel. This is about the fact that I can't leave my sister alone while I am in Salem. That baby is your niece or nephew. That baby is all any of us have left of Sam…don't you see that?" Remy's voice broke as she finished her sentence. She missed him too. I could see it in her eyes. Remy had loved Sam too, and she was probably just as upset when she figured out about what happened between Sam and Lennon.
"Why are you…okay with this? She is your sister. She slept with your ex-boyfriend." I closed my eyes trying to keep myself from thinking of anything but Lennon.
"You didn't see Lenny after you left. She was devastated. She didn't get out of bed for days. She would just start crying out of nowhere. She wasn't thinking straight when she…look she made a mistake. You've made mistakes. I have made mistakes. I can't be mad at her. She is my sister and she isn't okay. Dean, she is in bad shape. Lennon doesn't want to have this baby because she loves you. But, she is having this baby because this baby is all anyone has left of Sam. This baby is your way to have a part of Sam. And you love Sam, and she loves you. So you need to go to her and help her. She…she…she needs you, Dean. And I think you need her too."
I took in a deep breath, a million different thoughts running through my head before I sat back down on the hotel bed. I rested my elbows on my knees before burying my head in my hands. I loved Lennon Malone, even now. Even though Lennon was pregnant with Sam's baby I still loved her. I still wanted to be with her. I needed to be there with her, not just for her either. I needed to be with her for Sam. This baby was a part of Sam. This baby was the only way I could have any part of Sammy.
"Okay. I'll go." I said quietly.
Remy Malone gave a small smile before she tucked her hands back in to the pockets of her leather jacket.
"Take care of her for me, okay?" she asked.
"Always."
Chapter One
I had not spoken to anyone since Remy left town. She had been gone for two days. My extremely overbearing older sister had been replaced with my extremely loathsome ex-boyfriend. I was extremely irritated by the fact that my sister had left me here alone with Dean Winchester while she was finding out answers about Sam's death. I had a right to know what was going on! I was the one who was five and a half months pregnant with Sam's child. I should be the first one to know about what happened to my child's father. But, instead Remy and Dean liked to keep me in the dark about anything and everything.
I was shocked by the fact that there even was a Remy and Dean. They hated one another; they always had made that quite obvious. They both loved Sam more than any other person on this Earth though, so maybe it made sense for them to attach to one another. I didn't like it. Not for jealous reasons or anything crazy like that. I just didn't trust either one of them to tell me the truth, especially not Dean.
Dean had been treating me like some type of incubator. Always asking me how I was feeling, and if the baby was okay. Shouldn't he be jealous? We dated for almost three and a half years. We were in love with each other. And now I was pregnant with his brother's child! He should be angry or at least frustrated with me. But, he wasn't. He had been nothing but nice to me, and I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit, and I certainly didn't trust him.
I gave a small huff as I leaned back against the leather passenger seat of his Impala. I was trying to make myself comfortable but I could not. I felt so abnormally huge.
"Are you okay?" Dean looked over at me for a moment, his green eyes darting quickly over to me and then back to the road.
I frowned slightly before I nodded my head.
"Eventually you are going to have to speak to me, Jules. You know that don't you?" He didn't take his eyes off the road this time, but his voice was smug. I wanted to smack him. I actually considered it for a moment before I realized it would take too much effort.
Dean pulled in to my driveway and parked his Impala before he turned to look over at me, a smile now playing on his pale pink lips. I narrowed my eyes at him showing I was not impressed by how good-looking he was. God, he was good looking though. Why did he have to be so good-looking? If he was unattractive it would be much easier to ignore him, but unfortunately he was extremely attractive. I wonder if he had ever considered being a male model. No, probably not. He was a demon hunter, not just some pretty face. But, I knew Dean Winchester. He used that pretty face every single day to get his way, and he was trying to do it now! I refused to give in. I turned my back to him and opened the passenger door, slamming it as I shut it and then went towards my house.
"Could you not slam my car doors? My baby is a very delicate car!"
I smirked at the frustration in Dean's voice. I still could get under his skin better than anyone, and one of the easiest ways to get under his skin was to mess with his precious car. I swear, that damn car meant more to him than most people did.
I unlocked my front door and went inside the house laying my keys on my kitchen table, and my purse on the back of one of the wooden chairs. I walked back to my bedroom hoping to quickly get out of my jeans. Unfortunately, being five months pregnant was not the most comfortable thing in the world. I would have to settle for a pair of sweatpants, they made me feel less huge. As I was undressing I heard Dean come inside the house still mumbling underneath his breath about how inconsiderate I was for harming his car. Maybe now he would stay away from me.
I looked down at my swollen belly giving a very small smile and I had a feeling that the baby must be sleeping. Usually the baby was constantly in motion, always kicking me and moving around inside of me. My baby was going to be a stubborn child, I knew that much already. A Winchester and a Malone mixed together meant an extremely stubborn baby. I knew a lot of things about my child already, but one question haunted me. Would I love my child? I hoped so. I would think so, but honestly I didn't want to have this baby.
It wasn't that I didn't want to be a mother. I did want to be a mother someday. But, I did not want to have a child under these circumstances. I was having my ex-boyfriend's brother's baby. I was going to have Sam Winchester's baby, not Dean's and that bothered me. I always imagined having a baby by the man I loved, and instead I was having this baby for the man I loved. I was having this child because I knew that Dean still needed to have a part of Sam. Sam was dead and I was carrying the last piece of Sam around in my abdomen.
"Wow." Dean said from behind me.
I jumped at the sound of his voice. I was in my bra and underwear and Dean Winchester was staring at me. Oh my god! I looked horrible! I was swollen in all the wrong places. Dean Winchester had seen me naked plenty of times, but back then I was in the best shape of my life. Now, I was five and a half months pregnant! I was huge!
"Dean! Get out!" I quickly grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, pulling them on while Dean was chuckling uncontrollably.
I swiftly picked up a pillow off of my bed and threw it at Dean's head.
Dean avoided the pillow without even really trying, which only made me even irritated. But instead of realizing that I was angry with him, Dean stepped towards me, seeming to be a little fascinated. He stood in front of me, his eyes still on my abdomen and without asking for my permission he leaned down and pulled up my t-shirt. I raised one eyebrow, extremely confused by what Dean was doing. Dean laid one of his large, warm hands on to my abdomen, smiling ever so slightly.
"You shouldn't be embarrassed by the way you look." Dean said, his eyes never moving.
I watched Dean closely noticing how intently he was staring at my stomach. I couldn't help but wonder what exactly was going on inside of his head. Was he happy? Was he jealous? Was he hurt?
"I'm huge." I replied quietly.
"No, you aren't. You still look the same to me, you are just carrying another human being…I think that gives you some type of right to be a bit bigger." Dean flashed that heartbreaking smile at me, and I couldn't help but smile back at him now. God, I had missed him. I had missed that smile more than anything in the entire world.
Dean rubbed his hand along my stomach, tracing over the small bump that was growing more and more every single day. The touch of his hand was an extreme sensation. No man could ever make me feel the way that Dean Winchester just had, I didn't think I would ever have his touch, so I was selfishly soaking it in. I would let him stand there as long as he wanted to. Dean made me feel loved, even now. Dean made me feel beautiful, like I was the most beautiful woman in the entire world and Dean had probably seen a lot of beautiful women so I considered myself lucky.
"Do you hate me?" I asked.
Dean frowned for a moment before he stood up and adjusted my t-shirt, pulling it back down so that it covered my stomach. He stood there for another couple of seconds simply staring at my stomach before he turned his back to me running his fingers through his hair and then down his face mumbling something underneath his breath that I couldn't quite understand.
"Dean?"
Hearing his name made him turn back to face me, his hands now on his hips, seeming to be a little bit frustrated, but with what I wasn't very sure.
"I'm sorry…I just…" He shook his head as if he was shaking the thought out of his head.
I was so confused. We had just shared something that I thought was so beautiful. I had seen the love in Dean's eyes when he looked at my stomach, and I could tell that he loved my baby. I never thought that Dean could do that, but he did, and that meant so much to me. So, why was he apologizing?
"Dean, talk to me. What's the matter? Did I do something?"
"Why did you do it?" He asked, his face solemn now.
I sucked in a deep breath knowing exactly what Dean was asking me. He was asking me why I slept with his brother. I knew it would come up again but I hadn't expected it to come up so soon, but then again it wasn't like Dean to hold back what he thought.
"I…I was hurt…I just wanted to feel loved again. I just needed to feel something, anything to pull me away from what was really happening. You left, Dean. I was devastated." My voice was quiet, almost a whisper. I was ashamed of what I had done. I had betrayed Dean in the worst kind of way, but I needed him to forgive me, if not for me then at least for the baby's sake.
"But, Sam? Of all the people in this world, why Sam? You…you told me that you wanted to wait till marriage. What happened to that?" He asked. Dean was showing no emotion on his face now. He was trying to hide it, but I could tell just by the tone in his voice that he was angry. I just couldn't tell whom he was angry at.
"Because, he was there. I mean, Sam was always here…he was always being…you know…. Sam…He was always trying to cheer me up. He was always telling me that you would come back someday. And then after a couple of months we both realized he was wrong. You left, and then Remy left. We were both two extremely wounded people-"
"So you thought that getting in bed together would solve everything?" Dean laughed sarcastically before he turned to walk towards the door. What? Was he going to leave now? He couldn't leave, not again. Now, I was angry. I had tried to be nice. I had tried to put all the past behind us, but the fact of the matter was that I had not asked Dean to come here.
"You left me! You chose to leave! You chose to break me! I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke."
Dean stopped after he heard what I had said, he stood there in the entryway for a moment before he took in a deep breath and he turned to look back at me. His beautiful green eyes slightly narrowed now.
"I left to protect you, Julia!"
He had said my first name, something he only did when I really hit a nerve. He was just as angry as I was now and that was not a good thing. Two stubborn people who never knew when to give up were angry at each other.
"Do not call me Julia! You don't get to call me that! You don't have the right anymore!" I said, stepping forward not seeming one bit afraid. I wasn't afraid. What was he going to do? Leave? Let him leave! I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
"Son of a bitch! You are so damn frustrating!" He exclaimed.
Dean stepped forward now too, our body's only inches apart, and his eyes were staring directly in to mine. At first I kept my eyes narrowed hoping that he would get so fed up that he would simply turn around and leave. I had done that before when we were fighting. But, we had never fought about something this serious. Hunting? Other women? The fact that I wanted to wait? We fought about those things regularly, but this was new to both of us and I wasn't sure exactly how to win. All I knew is that Dean was inches away from me and instead of being angry with him like I knew I was supposed to be my entire body was yearning to simply reach out and grab him. I wanted to show him how sorry I was for every horrible thing that I had done. Dean had not even touched me and I was already melting underneath his gaze. I was weak when it came to Dean, I didn't know how to reject him. I didn't know how to be mad at him.
"Are you going to leave now?" I asked quietly, my voice was barely a whisper now. I didn't want him to go. I may have said so earlier but I couldn't bear the idea of Dean leaving again.
Dean sucked in a deep breath turning to look towards the doorway as if he was still considering the option of leaving. Maybe he would leave again, but if he left this time there was no coming back. I couldn't bear to loose Dean twice but I could do it. I could pull through. It would be terrible, and I would probably want to hide again but I had another person to think of now. But if I pulled through again, he would never be able to come back. I wondered if he knew that too.
Dean turned back to look at me opening his mouth to say something but without thinking about it, I leaned up and I kissed him. I kissed him hard, wrapping my arms around his neck trying to let him feel every single emotion that I was feeling now. I wanted him to know how sorry I was and how hurt I was that he left me. But, despite that, despite it all I was still Dean's. Every piece of me belonged to Dean and I needed him to know that. I needed him to feel that. At first Dean was stiff against my body trying to understand what exactly was happening. Did he not want to kiss me? Was this too much for him? I kissed him again. This time my kiss was soft, delicate and incredibly inviting. I needed him to need me back. Didn't he need me back? I had thrown my first time away. I had given Sam something that was supposed to belong to Dean. But, didn't he see it? I was his. I always had been. After a moment I felt his arms slide up my back so that he could tangle his fingers in my hair. In those moments I could feel every emotion running through Dean too. He was kissing me, but more importantly he was opening up to me. He was letting himself be vulnerable, letting me feel the confusion, the fear, and the pure love that he felt. Being in Dean's embrace felt like the right thing, after I had made so many mistakes, I ended up back in the place I belonged. I belonged in Dean Winchester's arms.
Dean slowly pulled his lips back and looked in to my eyes for a moment, he had this serious look on his face, a longing, passionate look that made my heart jump inside my chest. Dean kissed me this time, and his kiss was so strong that I felt like I was going to fall down. But, Dean wasn't going to let me fall. He had his arms wrapped securely around me. I was safe. I was loved. Everything was going to be okay. I knew that much. Dean Winchester still loved me, I could feel his love through his kisses and all I could think about was showing him how much I loved him.
Chapter Two
I laid there in Dean's arms for what seemed like a very long time. I didn't know how to start a conversation with him, and when I did, I had no idea what to say. We had just shared something so special. Something that was so beautiful, and now I didn't know what to do. So much had changed since Dean had been gone, and even though I was willing to change anything that I had to so that I could make this work between us, there was still a lot that we needed to talk about. But, how did I start that conversation? I was never good at starting a conversation. I always said the wrong thing or said something I didn't mean. Maybe I should just wait until Dean said something. Would Dean say something? Probably not, Dean was never very emotional or at least he liked to pretend he wasn't.
"You know if you keep on worrying the way you do, you are going to end up with a whole lot of wrinkles." Dean said as he traced the frown line on my forehead with his index finger. I couldn't help but flash a very small smile when I saw that gorgeous playful look on his face. How could he just be so carefree and spontaneous about everything? Did he have a serious bone in his body?
"Dean…eventually we are going to have to have a very serious talk." I said quietly, my body still entangled in Dean's as I spoke.
Dean pulled back slightly but he still had one arm wrapped around my waist while the other was laying above his head and he seemed to be a tad bit annoyed by my words but Dean was so used to my constant worrying that he must have known it was going to happen eventually.
"Why do you have to do that? Make everything so complicated? Hm? Everything was perfect three minutes ago."
"Because, everything isn't simple Dean. Eventually we would have to stop pretending that everything is just perfect between us. It isn't. I mean, clearly you are still mad at me for what happened with Sam." I pointed out as I lay back against my mattress on my back; I rested one hand on my small baby bump before I took in a deep breath. "Plus, a lot has changed."
"I am not mad at you for what happened. It happened, and I can't change that. I am over it, Lennon. I just want you to stop overanalyzing everything. Don't ruin this for us. This is all I have wanted every single day since I have been gone." Dean leaned over and kissed along my cheek trying to silence my inner thoughts with his kisses, and it almost worked too. I could pretend everything else in my life would fade away, but it wasn't going to. I had to be the realistic one because Dean certainly wasn't going to do it.
"Dean," I said as I pulled my face away from his kisses. "You can't just come back in to my life and expect everything to be the way it was before you left."
"I know it isn't. I mean you are going to be a mother soon. That's a huge change, and I am willing to do anything possible so that we can make this work between us."
"Make what work? Are you willing to be with the mother of your niece or nephew?" I asked.
Dean frowned this time; he hadn't been prepared for this type of question. He had never thought about it that way. I was going to be the mother of his niece or nephew, as much as we both wanted to pretend that this baby was not related to Dean, this was Sam Winchester's baby.
"Did you have to phrase it like that?" Dean ran his hand down his face rubbing the corners of his eyes before he shook his head back and forth. "That makes me sound incredibly repulsive."
I glared over at him before I sat up, looking around my floor for my clothes, I quickly found them and started to pull them on mumbling under my breath about how rude and inconsiderate he was. If it bothered him so much that I was carrying his niece or nephew then maybe he should have thought about that before he climbed in to bed with me.
"Oh, come on! I was joking Jules!" Dean sat up too, looking at me with his gorgeous green eyes seeming to regret what he had said to me before hand. But, I was still upset. Dean wasn't taking this seriously.
"Dean, I need to know what you want and I need to know now. Do you want to be with me? Or are you here because you want to be here for Sam's baby? Because I can't just keep on going around pretending that everything is going to work itself out. Either you want to be with me or you don't. It is quite simple."
"It isn't simple, Lennon! Hell! Nothing about this is simple. I loved you first. I did. I loved you so much that I was willing to do anything for you, even leave if that was what it took to keep you safe. You slept with my brother and now you are carrying his child and I don't know what to do with that! What am I supposed to do? Be with you and raise this child like it's my own? Is that what you want? Or do you want to raise this baby and I am the cool uncle who comes in every once in awhile and tells the kid stories about Sam? Just tell me what you want from me Lennon, because this whole guessing game thing clearly isn't working out very well for either one of us!"
"What do I want? I want this to go away! I don't want to be pregnant with Sam's baby! I want this to be your baby! I want this to be our baby. I want this baby to go away so that I can be with you and things can be simple again! That's what I want!" No one had ever asked me what I wanted, so I decided to give Dean an honest answer. I wanted Dean Winchester, that was what I wanted and as long as I was carrying around Sam Winchester's baby I could never have that. I knew that deep down. I knew that deep down Dean and I could never be together as long as I was carrying Sam's baby, and maybe even after that.
Dean's frown slowly disappeared from his face, he looked like he was sorry for what he had said and sorry for the way that he had made me feel. He slowly pulled back my mattress comforter and patted my mattress. I stared at him for a moment, wiping the tears that were falling down my cheeks away, and as I stared at him I started to instantly feel sorry for the way I had yelled at him. Why did we both always do this? Start fights with each other? Why did we do that to one another? I loved him so much. I didn't want to fight with him. I was sick of fighting with him, but then again fighting was sort of what we did best. Well, that and a couple new things.
"Come here, please." His voice was soft, almost like silk, tempting me to go back over to him. I knew that once I went over to him that I would lose any residue of my anger, but I needed him right now. I had never told anyone how I really felt about the baby and I needed him to tell me everything would be okay. Only Dean could make this better.
I slowly walked back over to the bed and climbed in to my bed crawling over so that I was laying my head on Dean's chest. His muscular arms wrapped around me instantly, making me feel safe and like everything was going to be okay.
"I am sorry." I whispered as I planted one kiss on his chest before taking in a deep breath.
"Don't be sorry. You needed to let all of that go."
"No. No. I shouldn't have said that about this baby. It is terrible for me to try and wish this baby away. This baby is all anyone has left of Sam." I told him. I felt bad for what I had said horrible actually, what kind of woman wishes her baby away?
"It is sort of flattering though, that you wish this was our baby. I wish that too, Jules. I do. I wish that I were this baby's father. I wish that my child were growing inside you. But, you know what? You are still pretty young and maybe in a couple of years we could give this kid a brother." Dean smirked down at me before he leaned down to kiss my nose. God, he was so incredibly beautiful when he spoke about the future, especially when he talked about our future.
"Does that mean you are staying?" I asked as I traced the freckles on his chest. I was curious about the way Dean was talking. He had never spoken like this before, not ever. He had always been so stuck on the here and now, always telling me to live in the moment and let the rest come later.
"Yes, I am staying. I am never leaving you again, Jules."
"But, what about hunting? What about Castiel? What about all of that?"
"Cas? He will be okay. He has other work to do anyway, and as for hunting…you need me here. Someone has got to make sure you don't make this kid a sissy." Dean joked.
"But what about us? All we do is fight." I reminded him. It was the truth. We fought all the time. I didn't want my child growing up around two people who were constantly fighting.
"Hey. Hey," He leaned down and moved some of my hair from my face before he kissed my lips gently, trying to calm me down. Dean's touch was the only thing that could make me forget about the rest of the world. "We will work on it. Every single day we will work on it. And you know, soon you are going to be and mother and I am going to do my best to help you raise this kid to be something amazing. We can raise this baby as a normal kid; he can have a childhood, play football, go to awful school dances and maybe even go to Stanford someday. We can do this, and you know how I know? I know because I love you."
I smiled at Dean's words. Dean wanted to be with us, Dean wanted to be with me, Dean wanted to make a life with me, and with my baby. I couldn't help but smile at that. God, this man was the love of my life, and when he did stuff like this it only made it more clear to me.
"I love you." I locked on to the back on his head, caressing that gorgeous head of hair before I kissed him, I kissed him and I enjoyed every single moment of it until he pulled away smirking.
"And how are you so sure that this baby is a boy?" I asked him before I looked down at my baby bump smiling at the idea of a beautiful baby boy.
"Don't ask me how, I just have a feeling." He replied.
Chapter Three
I woke up when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, something felt wrong and I wasn't sure what kind of pain it was. I had never felt any sort of pain like this and I was unsure what to do. I sat up slowly looking around my room frowning when I didn't see Dean. Where had he gone? I looked down at the floor and his clothes were gone. What? Had he snuck out while I was sleeping? What was this? The one time I actually needed Dean, and he was gone? I was in pain. Something was wrong with me. Something was wrong with the baby.
"Dean?" I stood up looking around the room, still no sign of Dean and I was still in excruciating pain. What was wrong with my baby and where the hell was Dean? I tried to walk to my doorway but halfway there I fell down, curling up in to a ball hoping that the pain would fade after a moment or two, but the pain wasn't fading. I couldn't move. I could barely even breathe, I was freaking out. I needed my baby to be okay.
"Oh no, no, no baby, no." I started crying now. What if something was wrong with my baby and I couldn't get any type of help? The pain was a tightening type of pain, as if someone was squeezing the inside of my stomach as hard as they possibly could. I cried out loud hoping that maybe if Dean heard it he would come running but he didn't come running. Where was Dean? After everything that had just happened between us I thought that he might at least stay the night with me. What had I done wrong? Another cramp. I screamed this time.
I saw someone come in to the room but it wasn't Dean, I didn't remember ever seeing Dean Winchester in high-heeled shoes and if he had ever worn them then they definitely wouldn't fit in to such a small size. A witch. Dammit, I hated witches! This witch was clearly causing my pain and I had no idea why. What did she want? Suddenly she was leaning down next to me. I could see her face clearly now. Her long blonde hair hung down in front of my face. I should have known, cheap high heels, she had to be a blonde. No brunette would ever wear cheap heels like that unless they were a hooker. She was a pretty blonde, nothing extremely special but she was still a pretty girl. She was in her mid-twenties, not much older than me and she was mumbling and whispering in some strange language. What the hell did she want with me? She pulled a knife out of her back pocket. Oh God. She was going to kill me. She was going to kill my baby and me. Oh God. I tried to move away from her but the pain was so unbearable. I couldn't even flinch. I was going to die. I hoped she made it quick. But, instead of stabbing me like I expected, she took my hand and sliced it open, grabbing a small vile out of her back pocket and collecting the blood before she quickly stood up and ran out of the room.
Damn blonde bitch! She cut my hand! Well, at least that was all she had done, and as soon as she left the pain had stopped. Oh God. Dean? Where was Dean? I gradually stood up and walked through my hallway looking around, it wasn't until I made it to the kitchen that I saw Dean. Clearly someone had knocked him unconscious while he was trying to get to the kitchen. He was laying spread eagle on his stomach, his head resting in a small pile of blood. Whoever had done this had some strength. It would have taken a big man to bash someone's head in like that, especially Dean's. How long had he been like this? I slowly leaned down so that I was on my knees and I gently lifted Dean's head in to my lap, running my fingers gently along his cheekbones hoping that my touch would bring him back to consciousness. Dean quickly opened his eyes and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly until he recognized who was holding him, and then he tried to sit up frowning when he realized he was too weak to.
"Are you okay…what happened to your hand?" Dean asked as he examined the fresh cut on my hand. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it softly and I could tell that he felt incredibly guilty that he could not protect me from whatever I had just experienced.
"Some witch. She cut my hand. She didn't do anything else." I explained, but before I was finished, Dean was standing up and had gone to my bedroom starting to pack up my stuff.
"Dean? What are you doing?" I questioned.
"Getting you out of town, Lennon. It isn't safe for you here. Not anymore."
I frowned. Dean was trying to relocate me now? I was five months pregnant. My baby would be born in less than five months. I couldn't just leave town without even thinking about it. I had a job here and I had friends here. I had a life and I couldn't just throw that all away without thinking about it.
"Dean, I can't just leave." I sat down on my bed with a small frown.
"Yes, you can and you are going to."
"Dean, why are you so worried about this? She didn't hurt me. She took some blood! I do that on the daily to tons of patients." I explained this to him, but he didn't seem to budge, he only seemed more determined to get me out of town as quickly as possible.
Dean didn't answer my question; he simply finished packing my suitcase and turned to look at me with those gorgeous green eyes.
"Listen to me, I can't explain this to you right now. I am not sure exactly what we are dealing with but if what I think is right then you could be in some serious danger. I need you to trust me. I need you to understand. " Dean took my hands in to his own intertwining our fingers before he leaned forward and kissed my forehead taking in a long deep breath before he pulled away and walked out of my bedroom.
Dean seemed to be extremely worried and I wasn't exactly sure what had him so worked up. I wanted to know. I felt like I had every right to know if this was something that could put my baby in danger, but Dean had asked me to trust him. I trusted Dean with my life, and my unborn baby's. He would protect both of us, I knew that much. But, I just wasn't really sure what he was going to have to protect us from.
I followed Dean outside and got in to Dean's Impala, resting my head back against the leather interior inhaling deeply before I rested one hand gently on my stomach, I could feel my baby moving around, kicking the inside of me. What a beautiful thing, to have someone growing inside of you. I had been so busy focusing on the negatives that I had not even considered the positive things.
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Dean's voice; I turned my head so that I could see what Dean was doing. He was on the phone, mumbling for the most part, trying to make sure he talked fast enough for me not to hear.
"Remy, call me. Now." Dean hung up the phone and then looked over at me hoping that I had not heard what he had said, and if I did to smooth it over he took my hand in to his own and bringing it up to his lips to kiss it, as if to apologize for whatever he had just done.
Now, I was worried. Why was Dean calling my sister? And why did Remy get to know what was going on before I did? What on Earth was going on? Clearly it was something serious. Dean never referred to my sister as Remy unless he was really worried or really angry. I looked over at Dean trying to decide which one it was. Dean had both his hands tightened on the wheel, the lines on his forehead were tense enough to where I could see them, and his lips were pursed like they only became when he was worried.
"Dean-" I started but I couldn't finish it because Dean clearly needed to ask me his own question and I could tell it was going to be an uncomfortable one just because of the look on his face.
"Jules, I need to ask you a couple of things. Just like I would ask any other person who was in a Supernatural type of accident or attack. So, I need you to answer them honestly. No matter what, even if it will hurt my feelings or makes you feel awkward. This is important." Dean didn't look over at me; he simply stared straight ahead as if he was still very deep in thought about whatever was going on.
"Okay, go ahead." I looked straight ahead too, trying not to stay calm in this very stressful situation. Why did I feel like these questions were going to be very, very uncomfortable?
"When was the last time you saw Sam before he left for Salem?"
I had to really think about this, it had been at least four months ago because Sam and I didn't really talk much after we both woke up the next morning and had realized what had happened. But, come to think of it, that morning Sam was acting so strange. He was so…confused? That morning when he woke up he looked terrified, as if he had no idea what had happened. He rushed to pull on his clothes mumbling something about how this made no sense to him. That is when I started crying hysterically, and instead of trying to calm me down he kissed my head and told me he was sorry and then left in a hurry.
"Jules?" When Dean said my name, my train of thought was broken and I quickly remembered that Dean had asked me when I had last seen Sam. I had blocked out so much of that time frame that it was really hard to remember when I last saw him.
Then, it hit me. The last time I saw Sam was when he came over to my house after I called him. I had just figured out I was pregnant and I was going to tell Sam about it, but before I could Sam told me that he was leaving town and that whatever I had to tell him I could tell him when he got home. He was very rushed as if he didn't have much time to tell me what was going on. I didn't even notice it though because I was so caught up in my own issues. That was the last time I saw Sam. Within the next three days, I got the call from Remy telling me that Sam was dead.
"I saw him the day he left for Salem. I had called him to tell him about the baby, and when he showed up he told me that he had to go to Salem and he would explain it all to me when he got back home. I was going to tell him I was pregnant that day but I never got a word in. He was acting really…I don't know. He seemed rushed."
"Rushed?" Dean asked looking over at me with one eyebrow rose, as if this worried him.
"Yeah. The last two times I saw him…he acted strange." I told Dean, my eyes focusing now on my hands because I was scared to see what Dean was feeling, and I could always tell when I looked in his eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't know. I never really thought about it before. He just acted so rushed, like he didn't have much time. I mean the last two times I saw Sam were the morning after and the day he left. But, both times he just acted so troubled like he didn't have much time."
Dean nodded his head and did not seem one bit surprised about any of this, but I still didn't understand why all of the sudden this made sense to Dean and made no sense to me.
"What was he like the night that you two slept together?" Dean's voice was a bit more unsympathetic now. He didn't even sound like Dean he sounded like a robot. I guess this was Dean's way of trying to shield him from any type of emotion. I wish I could do the same.
I closed my eyes. I had tried so hard to forget that night and now Dean was asking me to relive it, for what? So he could have some answers? Was it fair? No. No, it was not fair. But, Dean had asked me to trust him and I did trust him so if this is what he needed to know then I guess I had to tell him. But, when I tried to think about that night, everything was blank. I had been very drunk. Was that why I had so easily forgotten it?
"Dean, I don't remember."
"You can't remember? Or you won't? Come on, Jules. Think about it. There was nothing unusual about him? Nothing that was…I don't know…weird?" Dean asked but now he sounded extremely frustrated, maybe even angry.
I took in a deep breath before I tried to think about that night. All the details about that night were so fuzzy and I wasn't very sure why. Something was wrong; it was like that memory of that night was gone. Had I been that drunk?
"Dean, I don't remember that night. I…the last thing I remember is Sam offering me a ride home, and that is it? Why don't I remember anything else?" I was panicking now. Something was seriously wrong and something was seriously twisted. I had never even considered that night before, because when I woke up all I wanted to do was forget it.
"Calm down, just calm down. Everything is going to be all right. Okay? Just calm down and rest. Take deep breaths." Dean instructed, looking over at me now and he seemed to be just as bothered by my lack of memory. He leaned over and kissed my lips softly, rubbing his thumb across my cheekbone before he turned his attention back to the road.
"Where are we going Dean?" I asked trying to do as Dean had instructed and take in deep breaths. I knew that if I got too upset I could potentially hurt my baby and I did not want to do that.
"We are going to go to Bobby's. I am going to get ahold of your sister and see what her witchy loving opinion is and if none of that confirms what I think is going on, I will call Cas. We are going to figure this out."
"Dean, tell me what you think is going on." I insisted.
"I can't. Not until I know for certain if my theory is correct but I am praying to whatever kind of God that there is that what I think is wrong or what I think is going on is wrong. Because if I am right then…we may have a huge problem on our hands."
Chapter Four
Lennon had fallen asleep about an hour before we reached Bobby's house. Usually I needed Lennon to stay awake so that I would have someone to talk to and not get tired myself, but tonight my thoughts kept me awake.
I was almost certain that my brother had been possessed the last couple months of his life. Sam would not have ever betrayed me by sleeping with Lennon. He knew how much she meant to me, and I had asked my brother to protect Lennon not climb in to bed with her. No, that wasn't like Sam. And why had Sam gone to Salem in the first place? Sam knew that Salem was a witch breeding ground and the only reason he would go there is to seek assistance from a witch. Sam must have realized he was being possessed and travelled to Salem hoping that a witch could help him with the demon that possessed him and before he could get help he became possessed again. The demon was who had slept with Lennon and the demon was the one who had killed that witch. It was all starting to make sense now, but if I was right about this then Lennon was in some serious trouble and would need my protection a lot more than Remy had thought.
When we arrived at Bobby's house I got out of my Impala and went over to the passenger side, carrying Lennon inside so that I would not have to wake her up. I didn't want her to know what was going on until I was certain. She looked so beautiful as she slept, her long hair cascading down my arm. God, I loved her so much and for her sake I was hoping I was wrong.
Bobby met me at the door, and opened it letting me carry Lennon inside before he headed out to my car so that he could grab our bags. I had a feeling we would be staying with Bobby for the next couple of days. After all, two hunters worked better than one.
I carried Lennon down the stairs to Bobby's basement going to the small cell that I had trapped my brother in once, the walls had salt in them and inside was every kind of charm that could keep demons and angels away. Lennon could sleep safely in this room.
I laid Lennon down on the mattress pulling the covers over her body so that she would be warm enough and I leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead. Lennon didn't move, she didn't even twitch, and she simply smiled in her sleep as if she was having a fantastic dream. I couldn't help but smile too before I stood up and left the room, bolting the door behind me so that when she woke up I would know because she would probably insist on getting out.
After a moment of watching Lennon sleep through the small hole in the door I turned my back and went upstairs to where Bobby was. Bobby looked up when he heard my footsteps and he shook his head back and forth at me before taking in a deep breath.
"Dean, you realize that if I make this spell that you asked me too, that girl is going to remember every horrible thing that Sam or that demon did to her." Bobby was trying to change my mind but I saw no other options. I had called Remy while Lennon was asleep in the car and after telling her that I needed her help, she asked one of her witchy pals for a spell that could bring back someone's memory. Remy asked a lot of questions too, wanting to know what I thought was going on but I told her I would tell her when I knew for certain. I wasn't sure how to tell her that Sam might have been possessed during the last few months of his life, and that he might have started the fight with that witch and that witch may have done the right thing in killing my brother.
"Bobby, what other choice do I have?" I asked him, hoping that maybe he would have a plan in mind, but I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't have one either.
"What exactly do you think this is Dean? You can hide it from Lennon and her sister but you can't hide it from me."
"I think that Sam was possessed by a demon when he slept with Lennon." I told him.
"So? Demons do stuff like that all the time, why is this so bad? Wouldn't that be good? Means that Sam didn't betray you the way you thought he did." Bobby looked confused as he sat down in one of his kitchen chairs.
"Lennon was a virgin when she slept with Sam, and if she was a virgin when she slept with Sam, and if he was possessed by a demon…"
Bobby stood up quickly knowing exactly what I meant because he had been the one to tell me this information the last time we met a child in this predicament.
"You mean that girl might be carrying one of those antichrists?" Bobby shouted.
"Yes, that is exactly what I think…but I think it maybe even worse than the last time we saw it."
"How could it be any worse!" Bobby demanded.
"Because there is only one demon I know that would want to possess Sam, and when we pulled Sam out of that cage they warned us that Lucifer could jump out with him."
"Wait, hold on just one second! You think that Sam was possessed by Lucifer when he came out of the cage?" Bobby asked.
"Yes."
"So, you mean to tell me that…you mean…" Bobby was stumbling at a loss for words. I knew that feeling.
"Yes, I think that Lennon might not just be having an antichrist baby. I believe that baby might belong to the devil himself." I told Bobby the truth; it was a crazy thing to hear. I had not believed it at first either but I knew deep down that this was the only answer that made sense. I had been warned that bringing Sam back from hell might bring Lucifer back with him, but I had wanted Sam back so much that I didn't care.
"So, where is Lucifer now?" Bobby asked after having a moment to calm down.
"I think the witch that killed Sam was actually sending Lucifer back to his cage."
"But, they found Sam's body. Last time Sam went with Lucifer down to the cage." Bobby was a bit confused by this now.
"I think that Sam was strong enough to gain control back long enough to help that witch send Lucifer back, but using that kind of power…it had to have been too much on the witch and on Sam."
"So, you don't think Sam killed that witch or that witch killed Sam, you think that them using that type of power is what killed them both." Bobby nodded his head slowly starting to understand exactly what I was saying now.
"It makes sense, neither one of them had a mark on them. When the doctor's examined them they said that both of their hearts gave out."
Bobby took in a deep breath before he shook his head back and forth slowly realizing the kind of danger that we were really looking at. Bobby looked just as scared as I had been, but instead of freaking out like I had expected he looked back at me.
"You know what those angels are going to want you to do, don't you?" He asked.
"Yes, I know. They are going to want me to kill that baby before it can gain any kind of power. But, when have I ever listened to what they thought?" I flashed a small smirk trying to lighten the mood but Bobby didn't smile.
"Bobby, I can't kill a baby. Not when that baby is my blood, and that baby happens to be living inside the woman I love."
"I don't expect you to, and I don't want to either. You guys could raise that kid to be a good kid, just like that boy Jesse was. He was a good boy. He never hurt anyone." Bobby was trying to see the positive just like I was, but I knew and he knew that other hunters and angels would not see it this way.
"We have to make sure we are right, we have to make sure what we are going to be fighting against or for in this matter."
Bobby went over to his kitchen counter and picked up a small vile that contained a purple liquid inside, and he handed it to me frowning slightly.
"I followed that recipe those witches gave you so this should work, but in the mean time I think you need to keep that girl in the basement where she is safe. I have a feeling that those angels are already looking for her, luckily if you are right that baby keeps her under the radar…but they must know she is with you."
I nodded my head in agreement before I headed back down the stairs. I looked in to the room to see that Lennon was still sleeping very peacefully. She was sleeping on her side; one hand resting on her stomach while the other was resting above her head. I didn't like the idea of waking her up, but I knew this was the only way to be sure of what was going on. It would also give Lennon a better idea about what was going on.
I slowly unbolted the door and walked inside of the cell looking around out of habit before I went over to the bed and sat down beside her, I leaned down and kissed her cheek before Lennon slowly opened her eyes. Lennon raised one eyebrow seeming a bit confused about where she was.
"We are at Bobby's."
After I told her that she seemed to relax a bit before she smiled up at me. God, she was beautiful. I wanted nothing more than to take he in to my arms and kiss her, but I knew what I had to do, and I took the vile out of my hand giving it to her.
"This is a potion that your sister's witch friends suggested. It will bring back your memory of that night and give us all the answers we need." I told her, pushing her long hair out of her eyes before I sighed softly.
Lennon seemed worried and a bit apprehensive about the idea of taking a potion, but I knew this must be done. I would do anything to make sure that we had all the right answers.
"I won't leave your side, Jules. I will be right here with you the whole entire time." I took Lennon's hand in to my own intertwining our fingers before I gave her a small reassuring smile.
Lennon slowly nodded her head and then opened up the vile, she looked at it for a moment seeming to be pretty uncertain about it but after a moment she nodded her head and drank the potion.
At first it seemed to have no effect on Lennon, but after a couple of minutes Lennon's eyes started to get heavy. I could tell that the potion was making her very tired and within seconds she had fallen asleep. I held her hand the entire time, just as I had promised.
I had just gotten home from my shift at the hospital, I was exhausted and just wanted to get some sleep but when I got home Sam Winchester was waiting on my doorstep. How odd. Sam never showed up without calling, so something important must be going on.
"Sam?" I frowned as I got out of my car, pulling my jacket tighter around me to keep the cold from hitting me.
"Oh, Lennon," He pursed his lips slightly as if I was not the person that he wanted to see. "I was just looking for Remy. She didn't answer my call, and I was a bit worried."
"Sam, Remy is in Boston at college…. Are you drunk or something?" Sam knew that Remy was out of town. He had been there the day that she had left, I remembered this day pretty clearly because Sam had gotten so drunk that I had to practically carry him to my car.
Sam's eyebrows rose up as if in surprise but after a quick moment he flashed a gorgeous smile and nodded his head.
"Yeah, I might have had a few drinks. I should get going. I didn't mean to bother you." He slurred the words as he started to walk towards his car, but he stumbled and almost fell on to the concrete.
I instinctively reached out and wrapped one arm around his waist helping him gain back his balance before I took in a deep breath.
"Let's get you inside. I don't want you driving while you are like this." I walked slowly with Sam back in to the house. I helped him over to the couch so that he could sit down but as I pulled away Sam held on to my wrist pulling me back so that he could look back at me, a slow smile starting to spread across his lips.
"What are you doing?" I asked him, raising one eyebrow at him. Sam had never acted this way towards me, but I also knew when he was drunk that he tended to be a little flirtatious. I had seen him be like this with other women, but never with me. He had always looked at me as a sister.
"Just looking at you…you know Lennon, I have never really looked at you this closely. You are a beautiful woman. Very, very beautiful." Sam tilted his head to the side for a moment before he smiled again as if he had just gotten some type of idea.
"Uh…thanks Sam. I am going to get you some water." I pulled my hand away before I placed my hands on my hips and turned to go towards the kitchen. I looked back and Sam was still staring at me, watching me as I walked away, almost as if he was checking me out.
I grabbed two bottles out of the fridge but before I could even turn around I felt someone grab me from behind, I knew that musky smell. It was Sam, but why had Sam grabbed me this way? I went to scream but Sam quickly covered my mouth with one hand while the other one poured something in to the glass of water. I tried to fight against him but Sam was a lot stronger than I was. So, when Sam grabbed my jaw forcing me to open my mouth and poured the water down my throat I spit some of it back at him, but Sam only poured more in to my mouth and within seconds I could feel myself loosing all control in my body. What had Sam given me? I couldn't fight against him now.
I felt Sam pick up my limp body and he tossed me over his shoulder as if I weighed nothing. I tried to move my body but I had no control of it whatsoever. I couldn't even speak. I tried to, but nothing came out.
"You know, I had come here with plans to take your sister…but you my dear really did strike my fancy. You are such a strong woman and that is exactly what I need. I have no idea why you ever wanted Dean Winchester. But, it is okay. I will repair that mistake. I will give you the greatest gift. No other woman has ever had me."
This wasn't Sam. I could tell just by the look in his eyes. This was some type of monster.
"You will be the very first woman to have ever had Lucifer, and Lucifer will be the first man to ever have you. Doesn't that excite you? Well…I guess since you won't remember any of this it won't. But do not worry. I won't hurt you. I just need you to do a special favor for me. See, I don't know how much longer I can hold Sam off. He is going to try and get rid of me, and if he does then this is the only way to make sure my job is done without me."