Disclaimer; Je ne possède pas le Total Drama série et je ne vais jamais le faire. (No matter what language you say it in doesn't make it any less true.)

A/N; Sorry to all my fans of my Twilight stories, but I've recently started to LOATHE Twilight, so it'll be a REALLY long time 'til I update any of those stories. Sorry :'( But I'm making a TDI story ;)

BTW, this is NOT A DUNCAN AND GWEN FIC! It's a Duncan and COURTNEY! And it's a Notie (Noah and Katie), DJ and Sadie, Geoff and Bridgette, Gwen and Trent, Izzy and Owen, LeShawna and Harold, Lindsay and Tyler, and POSSIBLY a Beth and Cody fic. I'll take a poll 'bout that when the time comes.

Don't like, don't read, but constructive criticism is welcome.

Total Drama LoveGame

Chris McLean faced the camera with his standard bone-chilling, sadistic grin on his face. "Hello, viewers! My name is Chris McLean, and I'm this show's head producer. You're watching the hottest new reality TV show; Total. Drama. LoveGame! At the company where I work, the Total Drama company, we decided to have some fun and make teens from all over Canada suffer!

"We were going to do a competition called Total Drama Island, but then we rethought that—what crappy genre of TV show brings in the largest audience? Dating shows! So, we pulled out a delinquent by the name of Duncan and he's the lucky prize! Girls will be competing for his love, until at the last ceremony, when he picks his winner.

"We have 11 gals competing for his love—and, well, I'd love to tell you all about them, but instead I'll just show you their audition tapes."

Chris cackled and pressed a button on the TV screen he was next to, which the camera zoomed into.

"Contestant number one; Eva," the top of the screen read.

It showed a buff-looking girl in a gym, lifting weights. "Hey, I'm Eva. Why I'm auditioning for this retarded show? Well, I want a tough guy. Who's tougher than a delinquent? So back away girls, 'cause I'm in it to win it."

"Contestants numbers two and three; Katie and Sadie."

"Oh my God, Sadie, this is totally awesome! Don't you think it's totally awesome? I've always wanted to get a guy from a reality show!" A skinny, tan girl said in a pink bedroom, Katie apparently.

"Like, totally! It's, like, so cool. And this way you can make Noah jealous, too!" said Sadie, who looked exactly like Katie except was overweight and pale. Katie blushed.

"No! I'm over him!" Katie defended herself, then looked back at the camera. "Oopsies. Gotta go, bye," she said, before turning the camera off.

"Contestant number four; Izzy."

"Izzy is name my! Crazy being enjoy I!" A girl with wild green eyes and red hair cackled. "Okay, so I want to be on this show, because I really want to show people that even the crazies win! Plus, that Duncan guy looked pretty hot. A little too skinny and dark for me, but still attractive. Adios, mes amis! Oops, those were two different languages, weren't they? Ah crap. Anyway, bye!"

"Contestant number five; Beth."

"Skater boys are cool, yeah yeah! Wanna be with you, yeah yeah!" Er, sang (for lack of better word), a short girl with glasses and a small lisp. "So you gonna call me, 'cause I wanna be with you, so call me… yeah!" She stopped for a bit, then started talking, not… singing, if you could call what she was just doing 'singing'. "I just got my braces off, now I only have a retainer, and I'm totally bad boy material! You'll see! They'll all see…"

"Contestant number six; Courtney."

"I just want you to know that I got dared to sign up for this. I probably won't even be picked for it. Well, I hope not," groaned a tan girl with shoulder-length mocha hair. "I'm running for Student Council president at my school, I do not need my reputation tarnished by some bad-boy with a half-a-dozen piercings, no matter how sexy he is!" Then she paused for a second. "Oh f**k. Can we do this over?" Someone shook the camera in a 'no'. Courtney looked pissed off. "What do you mean, no? You dared me to audition; you should at least tape for me! Ugh, fine! You're so not going to be my secretary when I win!"

"Contestant number seven; Bridgette."

"Um, hi, I'm Bridgette. I'm a vegetarian, and I love surfing," said a laid-back looking sporty blonde. "The reason why I want to go on this show is to spread the word about helping the environment and become vegetarians. Oh! I can also whistle Yankee Doodle through my nose." She demonstrated, and then laughed. "Well, if you pick me then I promise I will either win with integrity or lose with my head held high."

"Contestant number eight; Lindsay."

"Hey, world! My name is Lindsay, and I totally love boys and TV! So this is, like, perfect for me!" Said a beautiful blonde with large… assets. "I have swimsuits for every season, even the ones not listed on the calendar! And I'm bi-language-al; I can speak fluent English and Canadian!"

"Contestant number nine; LeShawna."

"Hey, y'all! The name's LeShawna, a name you'll know for a while 'cause I'm gonna win this thing! Love ya, LeShaniqua! And all my other hommies!" said a short African-Canadian with a weave in a ponytail. "Ain't no white girl gonna win this time, it's gonna be me!

"Contestant number ten; Heather."

"You should be happy I'm even auditioning. I'm more of the pretty-boy type," said an Asian chick with a queen-bee attitude. "But, hey, I want some publicity. This pretty face isn't gonna get out there by itself. And I know, I'm just what this show needs," she winked. "Just pick me for the show, because, I promise… there will be benefits."

"And last but not least, contestant number eleven; Gwen."

"Well, I'm auditioning because everyone assumes that just because I'm a gothic loner, I'm a leper or something," said a girl with black hair with blue streaks and pale skin. "They treat me like a pariah, not that I really mind. That way I can draw in peace. But it would be nice to be with someone who actually knows me, like a punk such as this Duncan guy," she then smiled. "Besides, I hear his friend plays guitar, and I love music. Maybe he could show me how to play."

The TV then turned off, and the camera zoomed back into Chris's airbrushed face. "Now, onto the first episode of Total Drama LoveGame!"

X0xox0X THEMESONG (Lady Gaga's LoveGame) X0xox0X

Duncan

"Yo, dude," came my bud Geoff's voice.

"Hey man. What's up?" I asked.

"Your show starts soon. Nervous, or ready to meet some hot chicks?" He asked.

"The latter," I smirked. "Hey, where's Trent?" I asked.

"I think he's the escort. Come one, I'm pretty sure we're also supposed to be escorting, Duncan."

"Fine," I sighed, then got to the front of the mansion where all the girls would be staying. I watched their audition tapes, and I had to admit, it was gonna be pretty tough—all the chicks were pretty hot. Even that uptight babe was really hot. Okay, those Beth, Sadie and Eva weren't chicks too attractive, but that was really it.

First there was that Lindsay girl. Not too bright, but she had quite the rack. "Hi there, Damon! Or was it Derek?" She asked, looking confused. I rolled my eyes.

"It's Duncan," I corrected, patience already thinning. She might've been hot, but what good's a babe with no brains?

Next to come was Beth. She squealed and immediately hugged me. "It's super to be here!" She shrieked, then turned to Lindsay and they started talking about God-knows-what.

Gwen, the Goth chick, was next. As soon as she got there I could tell that my buddy Trent had the hots for her—he's pretty damn obvious. It seemed like she was sweet on him, too, but I couldn't tell. "Hey," she said to him, blushing, as he took her bags. She was pretty hot. Then she smirked at me. "I like the piercings. And the 'hawk," she stated, and I could tell she wasn't joking, but actually thought that.

"Like the streaks," I smirked back, and she laughed. Then she walked to a corner and took out a journal, beginning to write in it. Trent went to talk to her and I rolled my eyes—he was quite the poet himself, writing his own songs and all.

"He totally digs her," Geoff scoffed.

"Who digs who?" Came a voice, as that sporty girl, Bridgette arrived.

I was pretty sure Geoff's jaw hit the ground. Damn, he's always had it bad for the sporty blondes, especially the tree-hugging ones.

"No one of importance, Malibu," I greeted her. She grimaced at me, as did Geoff.

"Do you have to be such a Neanderthal?" Is it possible for a tone to be uptight? 'Cause I think that chick with a pole up her ass just made it possible.

"I've been called worse, Princess," I smirked, remembering her comment on my looks in her audition tape. "Besides, I recall I'm a sexy Neanderthal."

"Oh shut up! What's your damage?" Courtney asked, hands on her hips.

"First day here and you're already back-talking the prize? What's your damage?" That b***h Heather retorted, arriving.

"Bite me," snapped Courtney.

"It's only the first day, and you already want to get frisky? Tsk tsk," I smirked.

"Ugh!" She groaned and walked away. Bridgette followed her, and Geoff looked after her like a lost puppy.

"Thanks for standing up for me," I faintly heard Malibu say to Princess.

"No problem, he's a pig, anyway," Courtney replied, and I couldn't hear them any longer.

X0xox0X

It was a few hours later, and by now everyone arrived. LeShawna and Heather had managed to spite each other during the first, say, two minutes and were fast enemies, along with Heather and Gwen, bonding Gwen and LeShawna almost instantly. Heather managed to form an alliance with the two dumbest girls there; Lindsay and Beth. Smart strategizing on her part. Trent was admiring Gwen from a distance, for he didn't want to piss off his best friend by hooking up with one of the contestants. Well, at least not on the first day. Geoff was swooning over Bridgette, who had become fast friends with Courtney. Duncan already enjoyed annoying the "Princess", as he had taken to calling her.

Izzy and Eva had formed an unlikely friendship, for both of them were considered nuts by the other campers and didn't really care. Katie and Sadie were squealing over everything. When it was time to pick their rooms, it was obvious who would bunk with whom. There would be four rooms with two people and one with three, 'cause there were eleven girls. Eva and Izzy were the first room, then Katie and Sadie, Courtney and Bridgette, and Gwen and LeShawna. The three-person bedroom was to be occupied by Heather, Lindsay and Beth.

"You guys can put your crap in the closets and dressers and change into your pajamas, your first challenge is going to be tomorrow," Duncan said. "'Night everyone," he said. He might be a criminal, but he did have manners. He just chose not to use them the majority of the time.

"'Night," everyone said, except he could've sworn he heard "Drop dead, ogre," coming from the third room, and smirked.

"Love ya, too, Princess," he teased and went to bed with a satisfactory smirk on his face after hearing her exasperated groan. Damn, it was fun to piss her off. He was thinking that he might keep her on the show for that reason alone.

X0xox0X

Bridgette

It was morning now, and I woke up pretty early— 8:37, to be exact. I was always a morning person. Everyone else was asleep, other than Courtney who was reading and mumbling angrily to herself.

"Hey, Court?" I said, try to get her attention.

"Yeah? Oh, hey Bridgette," she greeted me.

"Wanna go downstairs and get something to eat?" I asked.

"Sure, I'm really hungry," she admitted as her stomach grumbled and we laughed.

We went to the kitchen, where Duncan's friend Geoff was. He's so cute! I squealed in my head.

"Hey Courtney! Hey Bridge!" He said, smiling at me—er, I mean us.

"Hey Geoff. Any clue where that delinquent of a friend of yours is? I want to stay as far away from him as possible," Courtney grumbled. I rolled my eyes; she was definitely into Duncan.

"He's probably still sleeping. And if he isn't, well, you'll really want to avoid him. He is not a morning person, even though Trent and I am," Geoff answered.

"That's so cool!" I said, then backtracked rapidly. "I mean, that you and Trent are morning people. So little people are these days, but Courtney and I are. And apparently you and Trent, too!" Shit, now I was rambling. "Um, is there a beach near here? I brought my surfboard just in case. I love surfing," I said. Courtney shot me a look saying You are so lucky Geoff's in the room right now and I can't confront you about your itty-bitty totally obvious crush on him!

"Yeah, there's one out back. You like surfing?" Geoff asked.

"Totally! It's one of my favorite things to do!" I nodded rapidly.

"Rock on, sister! Surfing's the bomb!" He said enthusiastically.

"Oh no. If you get Geoff on the subject of either surfing, or parties, he'll never stop," came a mellow voice. Trent was standing in the doorway, and I noticed Courtney had finished making herself a bagel and was leaving, waving 'bye' to me. I waved back.

"Partying isn't really my scene," I admitted. "But surfing is great! I could do it all day!"

"Awesome, me too! I live for the head rush!" He said and hi-fived me, making me blush.

Trent was making himself coffee when Heather came in. Ugh, I already didn't like her. She bumped into me, causing me to stumble into Geoff, who held me up.

"Watch where you're going, klutz!" Heather screeched. Okay, I was clumsy, but that wasn't my fault!

"Look who's talking," I muttered, blushing at my close proximity to Geoff. "Thanks for catching me," I said to him.

"No problem, bra!" He said enthusiastically, letting go of me.

"Um, I'm going to my room. Maybe we can go surfing later?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Totally! I'll see you then, dudette!" He said and I left the kitchen. I was just walking to the stairs, about to go back to Courtney and I's room, when I remembered something.

Oh crap, I thought, I forgot to make myself breakfast.

X0xox0X

Courtney

How long can it take to make breakfast? I wondered, waiting for Bridgette to come up from flirting with Geoff. Seriously, Geoff?!

"Sorry that took a while," Bridgette apologized, returning to the room with French toast. "I was leaving, but then I remembered to make breakfast and had to go back and Geoff made me some French toast," she sighed dreamily.

"While we're on the subject," I said, "you're so crushing on Geoff!"

"Yeah," she blushed, "I am. But he's so cute, and really sweet, too! And he surfs!"

"What's the big deal about surfing, anyway?" I asked. I never really understood.

She gave me a disbelieving look. "You don't know how to surf, do you?" She asked.

"No. It's reckless and I don't see what's so appealing about it," I admitted.

"That's what's so appealing about it! The recklessness!" She exclaimed. "Come on, when Geoff and I go surfing later, I'm teaching you how to."

"Nuh-uh. No way," I declined.

"Please, Courtney! I promise you won't regret it, and it's really fun!" She begged.

"Fine," I sighed. "But I know I'll regret it!"

"Thanks!" She squealed and hugged me. Whoa, she must really like surfing. She was usually really laid back.

"But now," I continued, "you are going to start talking about Geoff-y."

She blushed. "Okay, so…"

X0xox0X

Duncan

All the girls were in the main hallway, chatting away. Right now I was supposed to explain the gist of the things around here.

"Hey, it's Duncan," I introduced myself, "but you all should know that by now. Okay, first things first—I'm not doing that nickname crap on most Reality TV shows, where they give the contestants codenames and shit like that. Except a lucky few of you will be on the receiving end of some nicknames from me, isn't that right, Princess?" I smirked at the A Type.

"F**k you," she spat.

"Gladly," I winked.

"You asshole," she muttered.

"I never denied it," I shrugged. "Okay, so here's how it works; every other day that producer dude, Chris McLean, has a new challenge for you chicks to do. The winner gets a prize, which varies every challenge. At the end of the day, after the challenge and reward for our lucky winner, there'll be an elimination and one of you gets sent home. Capiche?" I said.

There were a lot of nods and 'yeah's in the audience. "Good, because your first challenge is right now. Good luck!" I said, and winked at Courtney before running off. She flipped me off in response.

This was gonna be fun.

X0xox0X

"My name is Chef Hatchet," said a burly man who scared the shit out of the contestants, "but today you will address me as Master Chief. There will be a handful of military challenges, and the last one to drop out will be the winner of this challenge."

I'm so going to kill Duncan for this, Courtney thought, right after I kill Tom for daring me to audition for this stupid show.

"The first challenge is simple; everyone needs to hold a 100-pound anvil. After the first person drops out, we go to the next challenge. Same goes for the rest of the challenges."

"100-pound anvil?!" Shrieked Heather. "I did not sign up for this!

"Yo, skinny rich girl over there? Take a chill pill," scoffed LeShawna.

Chef handed out the anvils. "Ready… set… pick up those anvils!"

Everyone hauled up her anvil.

About two seconds later, Katie whimpered. "This hurts, Sadie!"

"Oh my God, I know! Like, seriously, people do this for fun?"

"Yeah, they do, tubby," Eva growled. She was the only one who wasn't struggling in the least, other than Izzy. Damn that girl was a mystery; even Duncan didn't know how she could be so freakin' nuts.

Everyone was anxious to have someone drop out, when Izzy stumbled a bit. She had been standing on one foot, anvil on top of her head, held by her hands but lightly touching the top of her red hair. When she stumbled, she knocked into Beth, who fell on top of Lindsay, who fell on top of Heather. Chef Hatchet blew the whistle, and everyone sighed, dropping the weights.

"Beth, Lindsay, and Heather, out!" He announced, deciding that since all three of them fell, they would all count as the one challenger getting out on this challenge.

"Fine, see if I care!" Heather huffed, and dragged her two followers into the mansion. Izzy was glad that she only stumbled, and didn't fall.

"The next challenge," Chef said, "is an obstacle course. We'll keep doing it until four more of you drop out."

There was a groan shared by everyone except a euphoric Izzy. "Yeah, let's do this!" She pumped her fist in the air.

X0xox0X

"Come on, you sissies!" Chef called out from the sidelines. "Two of you dropped out already, only two more until you go on to the next round!"

The two who dropped out were LeShawna and Sadie, both of which were too tired to go any further. Katie promised to win the challenge for her and her BFFFL (Best Female Friend For Life).

"Why am I even trying?" Courtney asked Bridgette as they climbed a wall to get to the other side of it. "I don't even like that b*****d."

"Uh-huh. Sure you don't," Bridgette muttered. It was clear as day to her that Courtney was attracted to the delinquent, no matter how much she denied it.

"No talking!" Chef screamed at the two friends.

"Yes, Master Chief!" They answered together, crawling under barbed wires.

Gwen was swinging on a rope and it got caught around her ankle. "F**k!" She cursed. Sure, Duncan was hot—So is his friend, she thought, then mentally slapped herself—but not enough for this hell. She reached for the knot that was tied around her ankle and untied herself, sure to hold on to the rope so she wouldn't fall. She smirked in success.

Katie, too, was doing a surprisingly good job. When she was stepping through the tires, she pictured her ex-boyfriend's face in the center of each of them. That sure gave her motivation to stomp through them. The swing? Easy—she imagined there was a bunch of chainsaws at the bottom that would cut her hair off if she let go. The wall? She imagined that her ex-boyfriend was on the other side.

"Ugh!" She screamed, going through the tires. "This is for breaking up with me, jerk!" She hissed, stomping through one. "And this is for lying to me!" She screeched, stomping through another. "And this," she snarled as she reached the last tire, "is for making me fall in love with you and your cynical, sarcastic, distrustful self!"

"Damn that white girl's got a lot of pent up anger," LeShawna nodded towards Katie.

"Oh yeah. She's, like, totally mad at Noah, her ex-boyfriend because he, like, broke up with her and didn't even give her a reason why. She's still hung up on him," Sadie agreed.

"Poor girl, I know what that's like," LeShawna said sympathetically, right as Eva huffed over to them. She had been too short to climb the wall, and couldn't jump high enough to so much as touch the top, so she was out.

Izzy was swinging on the rope, squealing. "This is fun!" She cackled. Suddenly, though, she let go and the force at which she had been swinging hauled her right into the wall. "Ah crap," she muttered as she lost consciousness.

Bridgette, Courtney, Gwen and Katie sighed, thanking God that now that four people were out they'd be able to stop. Their clothes were covered in mud and they were very weary.

"Next challenge," Chef started, eliciting groans from the four survivors of the prior challenges, "is hanging upside down on a tree. It's also the last challenge, so the last person on the tree wins!"

"Great. Just freakin' great," Courtney muttered.

"Tell me about it," Bridgette sighed.

"Oh well," Gwen shrugged, "I got this far, so I might as well win."

For some reason, this provoked Courtney. She tried to convince herself that it was her competitive streak coming back to bite her in the ass, even if she didn't care for the prize. "Oh yeah?" She said, hands on her hips. "What makes you so sure you're going to win this?

Gwen held up her hands defensively. "Hey, I didn't mean it offensively or anything. I meant that I guess there's no harm in trying."

Katie felt empty, but slightly better after releasing all her anger at her ex on the poor tires. "Guys, why can't this be a friendly competition?" She asked. She was always known as the sweet one in her neighborhood, which is why everyone was shocked when she started going out with him, the local sarcastic, cynical know-it-all.

"Um, because it's to get a guy, it's not like it's to get one hundred-thousand bucks or something," Gwen explained.

Courtney snorted. "Now that's one competition I'd willingly sign up for."

"Tell me about it," Bridgette agreed.

"Same," said Katie.

"Of course," Gwen scoffed. "Besides, if I didn't willingly sign up for it, my brother probably would've dared me to sign up anyway."

Courtney grimaced. "Getting dared to sign up for a reality show is not something I would recommend anytime soon."

X0xox0X

Nor is hanging upside-down from a tree, Courtney thought one hour later as she and the other remaining contestants did so.

"God, all the blood is rushing to my head," Katie moaned.

"You can do this, Katie!" Sadie shouted encouragingly.

For Noah, Katie thought, and that gave her enough courage to hold on.

Yeah, it's bad to go on a dating show when you're in love with someone else, but still. Besides, that was the point, really. That maybe Duncan could help her get over Noah, though it really hasn't worked so far. Oh well, only time could tell.

"Okay, this is enough," Gwen muttered and let go. She knew that she probably would've been able to hang there all day, but quite frankly, she didn't want to. Her legs were starting to feel numb.

Geoff noticed Bridgette looking longingly at the ground, and decided to encourage her. "Come on, Bridge! You can do this! It's just a head rush, imagine you're surfing right now!"

Bridgette thought that the head rush when you're surfing was a little more thrilling than when you're hanging upside-down from a tree branch. But just a bit.

(Please note the extensive sarcasm used in the sentence prior to this one.)

"Hey, that's showing favoritism! That's unfair!" Heather complained.

"Did I say you could speak, maggot?!" Chef growled at her, causing her to shut up.

"Seems like Party Boy's into you, too," Courtney winked at Bridgette, who flushed.

Then she fell.

"Ooh," Courtney winced, looking at Bridgette's body on the ground. Is a leg supposed to go in that direction? "That's going to leave a mark."

Geoff immediately ran to her. "You okay, Bridge?" He asked anxiously.

"Yeah," she groaned. "I'm okay."

Geoff helped her up and she grinned him. Heather scowled; surfer girl interested in someone other than the prize? That could not be legal in the game.

Katie whimpered, remembering when he would do loving gestures like that. No one else knew how sweet he could be; he generally only was around her. He said it was because she was so sweet and nice that she could charm anyone, even him.

She was so wrapped up in her memories that she barely noticed when she heard the sound of skin grinding against bark, and the "Oof!" of a person who fell to the ground. She had won the challenge.

"Katie, you did it!" Sadie squealed, snapping Katie from her reverie.

"Oh my God, I did! Eeee!" She squealed and let go of the branch, landing on the ground.

Courtney was scowling, still on the ground, when Katie came down. She offered her hand to the Type A to help her up.

"Thanks," Courtney said politely to the person who had… beaten her. She wasn't really too good at accepting being outdone. She had still been on the ground because she hurt her leg and Bridgette was too busy flirting with Geoff to even notice anything else.

"Sorry for… you know… winning against you," Katie apologized awkwardly. Courtney wasn't rude, and she could tell that Katie really meant it, just didn't really know how to word it.

"It's okay. It's not your fault," Courtney assured the sweet girl, who smiled genuinely. "Besides," Courtney chuckled, "I really don't care much for the prize."

"Sure, sure Princess. Whatever floats your boat," came the unmistakable voice of the aforementioned 'prize'.

"Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear," she muttered angrily to herself.

"So, Katie," Duncan said, putting his arm around the winner's shoulder, "I hear you're the lucky winner of the first challenge."

Katie blushed. Hey, she might be in love with another guy, but that didn't make Duncan any less sexy. "Yeah, um, what's the, like, prize?" She asked curiously.

"A dinner date with me, of course," he scoffed as if it was obvious.

"Okay," Katie squealed and she and Sadie ran back inside the mansion giggling.

"You know, you might be a decent guy if you weren't such a jerk," Courtney huffed to Duncan.

"Ah, mellow your yellow, babe. This makes for awesome TV," Duncan shrugged.

"Why do I even bother?" Courtney asked herself before grabbing Bridgette by the arm and dragging her back to their room.

"Sheesh. What a downer," Duncan muttered to himself.

X0xox0X

Katie

"You and Duncan are gonna have, like, such a great time," Sadie gushed but I bit my lip.

"I-I don't know. I mean, I like, like him and all but, like, you know," I said, unsure.

"Katie, you don't even, like, know why he dumped you. He doesn't deserve you," Sadie comforted me, knowing what, or rather whom I was talking about instantly.

"But that's one of the reasons why I can't get over him! Because I don't know why he dumped me. I mean, like, if you're going to break it off with someone, at least tell her why! Seriously, it's just, like, selfish not to!" Now I was getting really riled up, something very abnormal for me.

"And really, does he expect me to just get over him? Just like that?! Do you know how long we'd been dating?! A year and a month! We've been dating since the end of Grade 9! Right now it's the summer after Grade 10! And honestly, breaking up with someone over email is as bad as it gets!

"You know what, everyone what right about him! He was only a heartless, cynical, sarcastic son-of-a-b***h! Why did I stay with him in the first place? He is just a jerk! Why did I even ask him out, too?! And why did he say yes?! And why did I even sign up for this show when I know the only person I'll ever even be remotely good enough for is a heartless, cynical, sarcastic son-of-a-b***h, and even he thought I wasn't good enough for him?!" Now I was crying, tears smudging my mascara.

"Katie, you know that isn't true!" Sadie denied it. "You could have any boy you want!"

"Except for the one I want," I said under my breath, and sighed. "Come on, that doesn't matter. Right now I'm getting ready for a date.

And I smiled for what felt like the first time in ages.

X0xox0X

Katie and Duncan had gone to a steakhouse where they had a private table in the back.

"I'm guessing I'm supposed to be asking you questions about you," Duncan said, leaning back against his chair.

"Yeah, probably," Katie giggled.

"So, tell me about yourself," Duncan prompted her.

"Well, Sadie and I have been friends since, like, the day we were born. We have the same birthday, freaky, right? Our moms are friends, too, and were even before we were born. We were even, like, born in the same hospital! But we've always been BFFFLs, and we've totally, like, helped each other in our bad times. Like when—" she cut herself off.

"Like when…?" Duncan asked curiously. Katie sighed, seeing no way out of it. Gee, she thought sarcastically, I sure know how to start a stimulating conversation with a guy who's my potential future-boyfriend.

"Like when my boyfriend of a little over one year broke up with me," she whispered.

"Ouch, that sucks," Duncan winced just thinking about it. "How'd he dump you?" He asked.

"Over email. Didn't even give me a reason," she answered, poking her steak with her fork.

"Sounds like an asshole," he said comfortingly. She looked up at him, grinning a watery grin.

"Yeah. But that's why I love him," she said. And, yes, he noticed how 'love' was in the present tense.

X0xox0X

Duncan

It was some time after Katie and I's date and it was elimination time. All the girls were waiting expectantly at the back porch, where the elimination ceremonies took place.

"As you all know, it's time for elimination," I announced before getting cut off.

"What does elimination mean?" Lindsay asked. Seriously?

"It means, like, Ciao b*****s, I'm outta here," Courtney explained.

I smirked at her wording, and she flipped me the bird… again. "Exactly. Anyway, when I call your name, you'll come up here and get one of these chain things," I explained, holding up a chain necklace with 'TDLG'. "If I don't receive a necklace then, as Princess over there said, Ciao b***h, you're outta here. And you can willingly leave any time you want, but if you do, then no one else gets eliminated that day."

There was some muttering among the audience, and I took the first chain. "Okay, first person I'm going to call is Izzy," I announced, and the wacko stepped up to get her necklace. "Because in my neighborhood, well, it's the crazies who end up as the best."

"Second chain goes to Princess," I called out, winking at her. She scowled and stepped up, snatching it out of my hand. "Because, not only do I like a challenge, it's just so much fun to annoy the shit out of you."

She sighed. "You're so lucky that part of the dare was that I couldn't leave the show willingly at any time," she glowered and stomped back.

"Next person—get your ass up here, Gwen," I said, endearingly of course.

"Of course," she smirked and took her necklace.

"'Cause you're a cool chick," I said, then leaned in her ear to whisper something. "Between you and me, I only feel for you as a friend, but I can tell that you and Trent have the hots for each other. You can thank me later."

She blushed and walked away. Trent was sending me weird eyebrow messages; I think he knew what I said.

"LeShawna, you're next," I said as she came to get her necklace. "'Cause… well, you know what, who gives a shit about the reasons why anyway? I'll save those for the final two."

"Next is Sadie," I called up, and noticed Katie looked a little nervous.

"Heather," I announced, followed by Lindsay. Then Bridgette, then Eva.

"Okay, final two, people," I said, looking at Katie and Beth. "Okay, reasons first. Beth, well, I'm saying this as nice as I can—you really need a backbone. You're a follower, and I'm not too crazy about followers. Grow a spine, perhaps. And as for Katie, well, I think you know why you're in the bottom. For a reason I'd rather not say on International TV, what thousands of people will probably hear, because what happened to you was pretty suckish. If I ever meet that guy, I'll slap him across the face if you want me too," I offered, only half-joking. I might be a jerk, but even I know that what that asshole did was rude. "Which is why you can come up here and claim your necklace."

"Oh! Thanks so much!" Katie squealed and ran up to get the chain.

"Belle's leaving?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Yeah, Beth's leaving. No offense intended, girl, but you really need to learn how to be a leader," I said. Beth sighed and nodded.

"Okay, bye guys," she said sullenly, then ran out to her room.

"Poor girl, eliminated on the first night," LeShawna sighed.

"Well, it's over for today. Join in soon for the next challenge in Total. Drama. LoveGame!" Chris announced.

"Good, can we go home now?" Asked—well, I'm not even going to say who. You should already know just by the words.