Hi everyone!

SO, here's THIS.

I wanted them to have a talk in the car, so I invented the AGAINST APPARATION guy. So bear with me for him.

~justaclassicgirl

"Hermione, are you READY yet?" he called from the bottom of the stairs. "We're going to be late!"

Again, he thought silently, though he would never let her hear that.

"Give me a MINUTE! I just have to curl my eyelashes, put on eyeshadow, lipstick, blush..."

"Oh, Hermione, the Weasleys aren't going to care what you look like."

"But I care, Harry!"

He sighed in defeat.

"Fine then, just grab your makeup bag. You can do it in the car."

"I still don't understand why we can't apparate, Harry," she shouted down.

Huffing, Harry replied, "We've been over this. Some bloke came into the Ministry and said that Apparation was far too dangerous and should be outlawed, what with splinching and the like. Never heard of him, but apparently he has a lot of power in the Ministry. Anyway, he made a whole silly case about it, so finally, the Minister decided to appease him and forbade Ministry workers from apparating anywhere in front of him. But he promised it's just until the man's gone back home."

"And when will that be?"

"Another two weeks at the least. Stupid man wants to make sure we obey the law."

A loud screech erupted from the upstairs bathroom.

"Merlin, Hermione, you're really not that lazy. You'll get along just fine with walking and driving."

No response.

"Hermione?"

He climbed the stairs and opened the bathroom door.

There Hermione stood, trembling and looking extremely pale and terrified. Her makeup bag lay on the floor, the contents spilling out.

"What's the matter, love?" he asked.

She shakily raised a finger and pointed to the sink.

He took a few steps forward and peered into it, brandishing his wand as though expecting something awful like a dementor that had come up from the pipes or something.

And there, sitting comfortably in the corner of the sink, was a small black spider.

He chuckled, and turned to her, a grin on his face. "That's all?"

"What do you mean, that's ALL?" she screeched. "Just LOOK at it! It's so creepy-crawly and disgusting!"

"Hermione, it's a spider."

"Nothing should have that many legs!" she squealed.

"Centipedes, millipedes..." he listed, a smile growing larger and larger on his face. But then he saw the look on her face.

She'd gone pale, and was shaking again. Her eyes were watering and she looked queasy.

"Oh, Mione, I'm sorry," he said softly. "Let me just get it out of here."

He pointed his wand at the offending arachnid and opened his mouth, about to speak the unforgivable words, when Hermione exclaimed, "Stop!"

He turned, confused. "You don't want me to kill it?"

"No," she whispered, "Not you. Not like that."

He sighed. "But can I just use a flying charm?"

"Anything, just don't use that spell," she murmured.

So, with a loud proclamation of "Wingardium Leviosa!" the spider was flown out the window and left to its fate.

Hermione didn't move an inch until it was gone for good, and then her whole body seemed to release at once as she collapsed into Harry's arms.

"I was so frightened, Harry," she whispered.

"I know," he replied, holding her tightly.

Later, as she applied her makeup in the car on their way over, Harry said,

"If you don't mind me asking, why did it affect you so much?"

"What?"

"The spider. From earlier."

"Oh, that..."

She busied herself with her eyelash curler. "It's nothing, really."

"Then it should be easy to tell me."

Hermione puckered her lips and swiped bright red lipstick across them, saying nothing.

"Hermione, we've never kept anything from each other. Let's not start now."

She dusted her face generously with blush, then sank back in her seat in defeat.

"Fine, but it's quite embarrassing."

Harry waited, his hands sitting patiently on the steering wheel as he turned onto the main road.

Finally, after a deep breath, she began.

"I was very young when it happened," she whispered, almost inaudibly.

"About four or five. But I still remember it very clearly."

"We were in the garden, behind our house. I had a friend over. Turns out he was magical, a wizard, just like me. I didn't know what that was, however, or that I was one too, and because we were so little, neither did he. We just assumed that all children could make things fly. Of course, something about childlike secrecy kept us from telling our parents what we could do: It was our secret, and ours alone."

"We were sitting on the grass. Our mothers were inside, having tea, so they didn't see what happened."

"Well, firstly, pretty much any girl is at least a BIT freaked out by spiders. Even if they aren't paralyzed with fear, spiders make every girl squeamish. So when I saw a small spider crawling across the grass toward me, naturally I backed away. I wasn't VERY frightened though."

"My friend, I think his name was Steven, said, 'Don't be scared, Mione, I'll get rid of it.' Oh, how he wanted to please me. I think he may have had a crush on me." She whispered the last bit.

"Anyway, he looked at it hard, and it stopped in its tracks. It started to shake and shiver. But instead of disappearing, it started to grow."

"Pretty soon it was the size of a small dog. And then I could see every hair, every eye, and worst, every tooth. Every long, sharp, gleaming white fang."

"And it charged me."

"It backed me up against the fence with no escape, and I was sure I was dead. It kept getting larger and larger. Then I heard someone shout something, which I realize now was a spell. I never saw who did it, maybe one of our neighbors, for I always had my suspicions about old Mrs. Tower.

But then, the spider began to shrink so rapidly that it soon shrank into nothing."

"Poor Steven must've felt terrible about it, as he was crying quite hard and wailing that he was sorry. I remember telling him it wasn't his fault, but I also clearly remember saying 'We won't tell our mummies or daddies.'

And he nodded, and we hugged, but ever since then...spiders just terrify me."

Hermione's cheeks were quite red at this point, and Harry couldn't tell if it was from the blush or embarrassment.

"I know it's stupid..."

"It's not stupid," he interjected. "That kind of experience would have traumatized anyone."

She was quiet.

"I won't tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about."

"I know you won't," she said. "I just never told anyone."

He pulled into the Weasley's driveway and parked the car.

"Well, you'll never have to worry about spiders when I'm around," he said. "Just add Spider Slayer to my list of occupations."

"Spider Slayer, Head Auror, The Boy who Lived...is there anything you CAN'T do?" she played along as they walked towards the house.

"Wait, add something to that list."

"What else could you POSSIBLY do?" she sighed.

"I can do YOU," he beamed.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!"

He shrugged sheepishly, a cheeky grin on his face as he dodged her oncoming slap. "It was too good of an opportunity to miss."

I saw how the story was going to end and thought: "I need to make a dirty joke."

Sorry for anyone I may have disgusted! :D

~justaclassicgirl