Lucy's head smacked against the pavement. She heard a faint cry but she didn't know if it came from her lips or someone else's. The world was blurry around her and her whole body felt both on fire and numb at the same time and she didn't know how was possible. She realized her eyes were closed. She forced them open as the pain in her slowly started to subside. She could faintly make out Natsu a ways in front of her. She watched as he ran to her and bent down.
Gently, he touched her head. A wince escaped her before she could stop it and she watched as he pulled back his trembling hand, covered in blood.
"Lucy?" He whispered.
She tried to force words out of her lips. "I'm okay…I'll be okay." She said her voice raspy.
Suddenly, the enemy started to laugh.
"Wow girl, you are just as pathetic as you look." He said maliciously. He had been terrorizing a small town Lucy and Natsu were visiting and the two of them had offered to stop him. He shouldn't have been able to get the upper hand on her like that but he had distracted her.
Natsu slowly rose, turning to face his opponent. His whole body was shaking. Small wisps of smoke were emancipating from him.
"You are going to regret that."
Lucy froze at Natsu's voice. It was cold, unaffected, no emotion wavered in his voice. It wasn't right, this was Natsu, whose passion burned in everything he did. He was never emotionless.
Before she or the opponent could blink, Natsu lunged forward with speed Lucy didn't think was possible. The man's eye's widened and he didn't even have time to block himself before fire engulfed him. Within the fire Lucy, could hear the man screeching, Natsu roaring and deep thunking sounds. As the fire started to clear Lucy saw Natsu holding up the man by his collar, punching man moaned in pain but Natsu didn't stop. He kept punching and kicking. Blood was flying and splattering everywhere. Lucy flinched at the sharp snap of bones breaking. He was attacking like a wild animal caught up in frenzy.
She was still frozen. What was he doing? Why wasn't he stopping?!
"Natsu!" She tried to yell, but her voice betrayed her. It was weak, pathetic and scared. She watched helplessly as he flung the man's lifeless body against a tree.
She choked back a sob.
Despite her screaming limbs and rolling nausea, she forced herself to stand.
"NATSU!" She screamed pouring all her fear into her voice.
Natsu's body tensed. Slowly, he turned to look at her. She watched as he looked down at the bleeding pulp of a man in his hands and his eyes widen as realization hit him.
Suddenly, he doubled over, hissing in pain.
"Natsu!" She yelled again and clumsily tried to walk towards him.
A raw strangled scream escaped from his throat. He fell to his knees, clawing at his bandaged arm. He gasped in pain and scrunched up his face. Sweat beaded his forehead.
She wobbled over to him.
Standing over him, she whispered "Natsu" before reaching out and gently touching his shoulder.
He lunged away at her touch. His eyes snapped open and Lucy's heart stuttered in shock. She retracted her hand with a yelp.
His eyes were rimmed with a blood red ring. Gone were his loving and enthusiastic eyes, these red ones were set in a cold hard glance. He looked at her as if she meant nothing to him. She was nothing but an ant in his way and he was going to crush her.
Her heart pounded and stuttered in shock and pain, because for the first time in her life she was scared of him.
Before she could even think to move, he gasped again in agony, crushing his arm to his body. He forced his eyes shut and scrambled away from her like a wounded animal until he backed into a tree.
She stood helplessly and watched him, unable to move or think.
Slowly, his ragged breaths leveled off. His whole body cautiously unwound itself as he relaxed. Lazily, as if waking from a dream, he looked over at her. His eyes were cloudy, but otherwise back to their normal coloring.
"Lucy?" He croaked.
Her face must have been one of horror because he looked down at himself confusedly. He was covered in blood. He jumped at the sight of himself and pushed back further into the tree, as if trying to get away from himself.
He held out his shaking arms in front of himself, eyes darting around in a panic.
She listened as his breathing became unsteady again, but that was last thing she heard before the world went black.
—-
She felt fuzzy.
Consciousness lazily returned to Lucy. Her whole head throbbed. She couldn't think, everything felt jumbled.
Without opening her eyes she felt around herself, feeling cool soft linen sheets. She could hear a faint beeping right next to her.
Hospital? She thought.
"Lucy?"
At the sound of Natsu's voice, Lucy's eyes snapped opened. Everything came flooding back to her.
Her head whipped around to the direction of his voice. He was sitting in the corner closest to her. He made a a move to get up and walk toward her but must have thought better of it after she unconsciously flinched. A flash of hurt crossed his face before he looked away from her. He sank back down into his seat. Her eyes fell to his bandaged arm.
Tears welled in her eyes and she sniffed.
His head whipped up at the sound and he stood. He raked his hand through his hair, worry etched across his face as he warily started to approach the bed.
"Lucy I-"
"What happened?" She asked in a trembling voice as hot tears spilled over her cheek. "Are you okay? I don't understand…You.."
She was shaking and she couldn't stop. "That man…is he-"
"Still alive…barely…I-" Natsu winced and looked away unable to meet her eyes.
He grabbed at his bandaged arm.
He was keeping something from her. She had known for a while, there had been clues. His nightmares that had been escalating both in occurrence and intensity to the point that he had woken up Lucy multiple times with his moaning. His bandaged arm that he refused to show and never took off, despite it being on for months now. How everything in the air around them seemed to thrum with an impending sense of doom. Something was about to happen. Something terrible.
"Lucy I-"
"No" Anger flooded her veins. She was sick of this, she deserved answers. "You tell me what is going on right now! Don't you dare tell me you can handle it alone! You scared me Natsu. I have never felt so scared in my entire life and I never want to go through that again. We can fix this, okay? Just tell me…please…We can fix this." By the last sentence she had broken down into sobs. Everything hurt, her limbs, her head, her heart.
She felt his arms encircle her. She clutched at his scarf, trying to focus on calming her breathing.
Slowly, he pulled back and sat on the bed. He was looking away, his eyes trained on the hospital wall.
She tugged at his shirt sleeve as she watched the battle raging inside him. Finally, he sighed.
He started unwrapping the bandages. "It started with the nightmares. They were rare, only happening every once in a while ….but then one day they weren't."
He looked down at his arm, in disgust. "They started happening almost every night. Then these started to appear."
Lucy eye's widened. His whole right arm was engulfed in a black tattoo. Sharp black flames danced and twisted along his skin. It was unnatural, she could sense dark power radiating from it and she wondered how she had never noticed it before.
"It was faint at first, just along my wrist but then soon it started to grow and blacken and -," His eyes widened in panic. He started to tremble."I don't know what happened! You were hurt and there was so much blood- I - mind went blank and all I wanted was to protect you! It's my job to protect you! It was like I was in my nightmare. I couldn't tell what was real or what was happening just that that bastard had hurt you and it felt so good to hurt him back that I- I-"
There were tears in his eyes as his lungs raked in air.
Lucy grabbed his hand and squeezed.
He whipped his head to look at her in the eyes for the first time, and she saw all his fear swirling in his eyes.
Embarrassed, his eyes skirted away from hers again settling on the tile floor.
"I don't want to hurt anyone… Lucy," Natsu's breathe hitched, his voice heavy in fear. "I'm scared."
Lucy felt tears falling down her cheeks as she grabbed his face and forced him to look her eyes.
"We are going to fix this," She told him, with an authoritative voice. "You are going to be fine! You are the sweetest person I know and I'm not going to let anything take you away from me! You got it? We have too many adventures left to go so don't you dare give up on me either!"
She watched him battle with himself with a clenched jaw. She knew he wanted to protect her and that he was scared. But she also knew that he believed in her and she silently prayed that it was enough faith so he wouldn't leave her again. She didn't think her heart could take that.
He visibly relaxed and smiled faintly at her determination. "I believe in us. Always have, can't break that track record right?"
She punched him lightly on the shoulder before laying back down. Sleep was slowly calling to her and she didn't have the energy to fight it.
She gripped his hand.
"Don't leave okay?"
He looked at her with his wonderful, loving eyes. "I won't, I promise"
—-
Natsu watched as her breathing even out.
She was so strong, but here, under the harsh florescent lights of the hospital and in all her bandages, she looked utterly helpless.
He looked down at their intertwined hands.
His heart filled with dread.
Natsu…
Sharply, he gasped.
He grabbed his head and pulled at his hair, curling up in on himself.
Almost Natsu…Almost time.
He couldn't get enough air into his lungs. He was shaking now. That voice, that damned voice, it was always there, just beyond his thoughts.
He didn't tell her just how scared he was or how fast he was slipping. There was dark cliff and he had nothing to grape onto. He could feel it, a growing dark presence festering and growing, hooking its way into his soul. It was only a matter of time before he fell completely.
He gritted his teeth. He was suppose to get stronger to protect everyone! He couldn't - he wouldn't let whatever figment was doing this to him win. He would protect Lucy, he would defeat END and Zeref and he was going to live a life of adventure with his family. He had to, he promised her.
He couldn't let fear rule over him.
He filled his head with these stubborn, determined thoughts until it was full to the brim, and then he repeated them again. A silent mantra to keep himself sane.
But he knew in his heart it wouldn't make a difference. It was simply a matter of time.