Song fic number two!
Song: How To Save A Life by the Fray
Hope you like it!
Will be an other chapter.
Reid and Morgan aren't together yet, but... well, read it.
~IAmSoComepletelyAwesome
Morgan walked up to Reid's apartment door and stopped. How was he suppose to talk to his best friend about this... Issue? How was he suppose to plead and not reveal that he was secret in love with him? Morgan took a deep breath. There's only one way to find out. Morgan knocked on the door and heard a small 'come in' from the other side.
Morgan opened the door and stepped into Reid's apartment. He almost gasped when he saw Reid sitting on his couch, his gun in his hand and a small bottle of when Morgan could only guess was the foul drug diladid that caused his friend to act so strangely recently.
"Oh, Morgan, hi," Reid seemed surprised he was there and tried to make like he was holding a gun or staring at a bottle of a drug.
"Hi," Morgan struggled to remember what he had to do.
"Was there a reason you came?" Reid asked after a few minutes of silence. All that was going through Morgan head was the lyrics to a song he'd heard on the radio on his drive over to Reid' apartment.
Lines 1-4
"I wanted to talk with you," Morgan started, staring at the bottle of dilaudid.
Reid looked between the bottle and Morgan, "If you have to, but I was in the middle of something." With a small smile Reid made to move the bottle on the table, but Morgan step around the couch and grabbed his wrist, pulling it back and putting it safely in Reid's lap.
Lines 5-8
"You wanted to talk?" Reid prompted after Morgan was silent for a few minutes.
"I want to know what kind of drug your using and why," Morgan stated calmly. He sounded neither angery nor disappointed, but Reid flinched all the the same and looked away from Morgan, towards his bookshelf.
Lines 9-14
"Dilaudid," Reid said after a few minutes of silence that Morgan glared towards the door to Reid's bedroom.
"So where did that start?" Morgan demanded.
"You know where," Reid said.
"Tell me," Morgan repeated.
"Hankel, Tobias Hankel," Reid's voice cracked as he said the name of the man who had kidnapped him and tortured him, "While he was Tobias he drugged me, told me it would make the pain more bearable."
Lines 15-19
"Why didn't you get help or tell one of us?" Morgan asked.
"Because I couldn't admit I had a problem to anyone. Because I thought I didn't need help," Reid replied.
"Well you do need help and we could've helped you," Morgan informed him, "You should have come to me or Hotch of Gideon, anyone. But you shouldn't have kept this to your self."
Lines 20-24
Morgan was very aware of the fact Reid had tears on his face, but he did his best to ignore it, "You can tell me anything, you know that Reid. And you know I can keep any secret you want to tell. And this was one you really should have told me, because we've all been worried about you, especially me. We've been waiting to see if you're attitude will change back to where it or how you've been dealing with things, because what you've been doing,how you've been acting, is completely inappropriate. And we're your friends and we would've understood had you come to us, had you told us."
Lines 25-30
"Does that mean you don't understand anymore?" Reid asked, his voice cracked slightly, but Morgan ignored that once again.
"I understand where it came from, just not why you didn't tell me," Morgan explained, letting a little hurt slip into his expressionless voice.
Lines 31 & 32
"Well, I've already explained it. I couldn't face it my self. I could even think the word 'I have an addiction problem' so how the hell was I suppose to tell any of you? How was I suppose to tell... How was I suppose to tell my best friend that I was weaker than everyone had thought?" Reid had raised his voice to the point where he was yelling, "And how was I suppose to ask for help? 'I was drugged while I was tortured. Now I need help because I'm addicted'? Who in their right mind would have believed me? I mean, I should be thankful it was marijuana, because it's been proven to speed up the genetics that cause schizophrenia, should the person have it. But I'm finding it hard to see the bright side of this situation and I realize I have a problem. And here you are, telling me off like I don't know where I've fallen."
"I just wanted to help you," Morgan said in a low, soft voice.
Reid turned to glare at his through his tears and Morgan was having a hard time not flinching at the stab of pain the look on Reid's face sent through him.
Lines 33 & 34
"You need to stop this, man, you need to find a way out, because if you don't..." Morgan's voice trailed off. They both knew what would happen.
Lines 35-38
"You think I don't know that?" Reid voice was a hiss, "You think I don't understand? That just because something was beyond my comprehension I don't know what I need to do to get help? This has not changed the fact I know the statistics on drugs and drug addictions. This does not change the fact I know every group in the area and many more place on the internet for this kind of thing. But it has changed me and I can not go find help. I can not face this." Reid's voice became quiet with the last sentence.
Where did I go wrong?
Lines 39-42
"Reid, I'm so sorry," Morgan started, his voice soft and full of the hurt this whole affair was causing him, "I just needed you to know you still have friends out there and that we still care for you, even if you have a problem. It's not you're fault Hankel," Morgan's voice broke here, but he quickly recovered, "It's not you're fault he kidnapped you or that he drugged you."
"But it is," Reid whispered so softly Morgan almost didn't hear it.
Lines 43-49
"How was it your fault?" Morgan asked.
"I told JJ to go into the barn and I told her I would go around back. I went into the corn field and I got ambushed because I was stupid enough to get knocked to the ground and not get up again. I let him put his needle in my arm and I let him do it again, and again. I let him because after the first one I started to feel the need for it. And I got the first needle because I wasn't strong enough to fight him off," Reid's voice was broken and it was like a knife through the heart for Morgan. The tears on Reid's face was streaming down faster and faster.
"It's not your fault he was brought up by an abusive father who taught him to rely to much on the bible. It's not your fault you tried to catch a serial killer before he killed again. And it sure as hell isn't your fault he drugged you or that you developed a need for the drug, because that's what happens," Morgan tried to tell his friend.
Lines 50-54
"I need you to get out of my apartment," Reid requested after a minute of silence.
"But-" Morgan tried to object, but Reid cut him off.
"Please, just leave me alone," Reid's voice sounded helpless and it pleaded with Morgan to follow this one little request.
So Morgan got up and left the apartment, closing the door behind him and waited.
Lines 55-59
Morgan waited in the hall for what seemed like a long time, but he wasn't going to leave his best friend and the love of his life alone, with a gun, a drug, and the belief it was his fault he was there.
Then a gun shot cut through the silence, destroying the hope that Reid could recover that Morgan had so foolishly convinced himself to believe.
Line 60
Morgan flung the door open as fast he could and hit it as he walked past it into the apartment, effectively closing it.
Morgan walked around the couch and found Reid's gun on the floor.
Line 61
Morgan collapsed on the couch, "Reid, what the hell?"
Well, there it is.
There will be an other chapter!
Promise!
~IAmSoCompletelyAwesome