Quick author's note before we dive in...These were originally posted on my tumblr in connection with an image or gifset so I'd highly recommend you check those out to get the full experience from these fics. The link is in my profile page. Cheers and thanks for reading!
"...the moment she walked through the door."
Schmidt says a potential roommate has responded to the craigslist ad, so please be normal, presentable and show initiative. He expects all of them to have at least 5 questions prepared for the interview portion of the visit. She'll be arriving around 2pm. Coach balks at the 'she' part, Nick doesn't care either way.
It's 2:30 and there's a knock on the door. Nick is lounging on the couch with a beer watching baseball; Coach just got back from a pick-up basketball game and is making a protein shake. Schmidt checks his reflection in any shiny surface all while going over the itinerary: Visual assessment, if she passes we move on to introductions, then tour, and finally sit-down interview.
He opens the door to let the potential in. Nick doesn't look over, doesn't care enough to. Doesn't really care who lives here as long as they're not a psycho.
Well introductions have been made, so she passed Schmidt's visual assessment which makes him kind of curious…not enough to look yet. He knows he's being rude, but hey, haven't you heard, he doesn't care, plus Rizzo is up to bat. He goes to take another swig of beer and that's when her scent hits him. It's cinnamony and sweet and seems to sink into his skin. He sits up, moving the beer to his other hand and tries to shake off the scent. He takes a healthy swig, hoping the bite of the IPA will overpower it.
It doesn't.
"Nicholas, would you please stand and introduce yourself," Schmidt's precise and aggravating voice pierces through the loft. "Please don't be alarmed, Jessica, he may look like a homeless old man, but I assure you he's our age and is employed…if only as a lowly bartender."
"Shut-up, Schmidt!" He says as he stands and turns.
"Hi, I'm Jess!" A small pale hand extends to him.
His first irrational thought is that this is the type of girl idiots fall in love with instantly. The long brown wavy hair, smooth unblemished skin, huge googly blue eyes, full red lips, orangeish-red summer dress.
Not him though. He's no dummy. Not gonna fall for any of that crap. He flops back on to the couch after the obligatory "I'm Nick," and Schmidt moves with her to the hallway to show the bedrooms/bathroom, one of the douchebag's hands hovering over her lower back.
The urge to watch her walk away is disconcertedly strong and he immediately quashes it by watching (but in no way paying attention to) the game. He hears her exclamation of delight when she sees the empty room and winces…he needs another beer.
Ten minutes later he's got Schmidt sitting next to him (uncomfortably close, he might add), and Coach in the corner on the couch; Jess in the tan single-seater across from them. They've arrived at the interview portion.
"Alright, Nick, let's show some panache here. You may ask the first question."
Ah crap. He hadn't thought of any questions. His eyes drift to the TV which is swiftly turned off.
"No distractions, Nicholas."
Sighing heavily, Nick moves to sit at the edge of the couch, elbows resting on his knees. She's sitting patiently, eyes wide and eager, a small smile on her lips as she meets his gaze. Something twists within him when her blue meet his brown. It's a feeling he can't identify and something whispers in his mind, 'idiot, idiot, you're an idiot.'
He's suddenly overwhelmed by the situation, but the emotion that wins out is anger and he clings to it, allowing it to swallow up any other ridiculous thoughts or feelings. Maintaining a neutral expression he glares at the coffee table, hoping it'll produce a legitimate 'potential roommate interview' question. One of Schmidt's ridiculous artsy books is opened on a black and white image of a cat on a haystack in a barn ("It is a portfolio detailing the relationship between animals and bucolic life, Nicholas!" "It's a $75 coaster, Schmidt.").
"Umm…Do you have any pets?"