Author's Note: Hey everyone! I'm new to , but not to writing. I welcome feedback, kudos, and just plain mad love from all you readers out there.
Chapter Note: This chapter is establishing the main character and setting. It doesn't have any Wolf Pack or Cullen members mentioned, but provides a basis for later so don't pass it up. I promise, promise, promise chapter 2 will have wolf pack in it. They're the best, so they get to be first. LOL!
I had always spent my life doing what was expected of me, doing the right thing, basically surrendering my feelings and needs to the whims and tragedies of those around me. Don't mistake this trait as a weakness or a flaw, but rather something that prepared me for my life's calling. Although I didn't see it at the time, now that I'm on the other side of that chapter in my life I can see the benefit. My father had just passed away and I did what I have always done. I came to the rescue and began to pick up the pieces. The first my emotions converged with each other in a roller coaster of sadness, anger, loneliness, and surprisingly relief. I flew down to Half Moon Bay to attend a memorial being held to honor my father and then spent the week afterwards trying to make arrangements and tie up loose ends.
Sometime during the week, I stopped for a moment and was terrified to realized that my feelings had somehow become detached from me and even though I could feel the presence it felt as if they were in the distance... somewhere that I couldn't reach. In the absence of my emotions I was left with a dull numbness which continued to reside within me even after I flew back home to Portland. The next couple of week's felt like a test of my endurance and and survival skills. The numbness still lingered, but frequently emotions would break through that barrier and blind side me. All at once I felt the pain I was working so hard to avoid and I welcomed the pain sometimes because I was desperate to feel something, anything other than numb regardless of whether it was good, bad, painful or otherwise. I balanced my time between work and school using both to deny my father's death. I went to great lengths to be busy for almost two months and then something made me stop. I had been like a speeding train, always moving, always on a tight schedule and then it was like all at once I crashed into a wall. I couldn't stand to go on the way that I had. If I did I knew it would hurt me worse in the end, so I checked out of my normal life and left. I wasn't sure if I was leaving for good, but I knew I wouldn't be resuming my everyday life anytime soon.
I packed up some clothes and necessities and set out on my journey. I didn't have a destination in mind, let alone my GPS so I just drove towards the Oregon coast. After I got over the coastal range, I saw the ocean in front of me beckoning me to go towards the horizon. I drove into one of the pull outs that they have for sightseers and put my car in park. Gazing out at the sea, I hopped out of my car and hiked a trail that descended down to the beach below. When my feet met the sand I slipped off my shoes and set them on a piece of grey-brown driftwood nearby. The driftwood reminded me of who I had become. All at once I like felt drifting aimlessly without an anchor lost at sea. At the same time I could also relate to the driftwood's current state of being trapped on the sandy beach where I now stood. I was a young woman lost and drifting, trapped by grief. I walked further down towards the shoreline and sat down to watched the crashing waves. It felt bittersweet to escape the noise and distractions because I felt like I could finally breathe yet I was in danger of having to fully confront my feelings.
I sat for awhile and just did nothing. Didn't think about what I was going through, didn't think about where I was headed, or what I was going to do when I got there, I just welcomed the silence and watched as the sun began the go down. Dusk crept in around me and I started to shiver a bit, not from cold, but from the eerie feeling that had come along with the dusk. I got up cautiously and started back up to the trail only to find that the land behind me was slightly darker than the sea which only added to my apprehension. Finding the driftwood I grabbed my shoes slipping them on quickly and heading up the trail. As I walked up the trail, I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but looked back to find nothing. I shook it off thinking it had to do with how vulnerable I was in my current state and continued on. My car was the only one in the parking lot and there was no one on 101 as I looked up in the direction I wanted to go. The engine roared to life as I turned the key and I pulled out onto the nearly deserted road.
I drove for what seemed like hours taking advantage of the fact that all of the tourists and even the locals had long since headed home or to the places they were staying and settled in for the night. This way I didn't have to worry about people behind me or traveling too slow around the curves that seemed to populate these narrow coastal roads.
I crossed the Oregon-Washington border sometime during the night and and by midnight I had reached a small beach town called Moclips near Pacific Beach. I decided to stop off and try to get a room at one of the inns in town, but had no luck because it was so late. Small towns like this didn't have motels that were open to people coming through in the middle of the night, at least not from what I could see. I continued on and found a place near the campground at Pacific Beach State Park and pulled off into a forested area out of the view of passerby. The campground didn't accept campers after 2:30 in the afternoon and given that I was so tired I decided camping in the forest nearby was my safest bet. At least there were people near enough that I thought they would hear something if anything went wrong. Getting my tent out of my car I began to set it up and was soon tucked into my sleeping bag fast asleep.
A short while later, I awoke suddenly to a mysterious sound outside my tent a short distance away. I wasn't sure if it was an animal or a person and I wasn't about to crawl out of my tent to look. As I sat up in my tent, another noise arose in the darkness though seemingly closer this time. I gathered up my courage and unzipped one of the screen windows on the side the noises were coming from slightly and peeked through the thin slight my actions provided and was horrified by the sight I beheld. A tall man came into me view with pale icy skin and such an odd set of features that he was almost beautiful in his uniqueness, but not quite. Aside from the fact that he was in the middle of a forest in the middle of the night, something didn't seem right about him and my breath hitched in my throat. Raw fear flooded in and my pulse began to quicken as I heard a wolf howl. As soon as my pulse began to race, the man seemed to take in the smell and as he did his head turned in my direction. All at once he was outside my tent in less than a few seconds and staring me in the eyes. Our eyes met and he saw the glint of realization in my eyes as I saw that his eyes almost glowed gold in the moonlight that shone down through the trees.