"Shmee Talks?!"
- I know everyone who has read JtHM wonders how Shmee talks and why Squee is the only one who hears him. Well, if you've read Squee you will know that Squee got abducted by aliens. Although he was talking to Shmee before that .um.yeah. What you didn't see though was when Squee was first born. Now we go back, back to the date of Squee's birth.-
*Picture is hazy and there are little wavy lines all around the place*
"Push honey!"
"I AM PUSHING!!! This RETCHED BRAT won't come OUT!!!!!"
A LOT more pushing, a few colorful words, and 12 hours later.
"Awe, he's so adorable!" exclaimed the first nurse.
"Just look at those cheeks!" rejoiced the second nurse.
"Isn't he just the most handsome little thing you ever did see!" the doctor exclaimed.
"I think he needs a cute little toy to play with" stated the second nurse, "I'll be right back." (she quickly ran to the gift shop) "Here you go little one." And she gave him a stuffed bear.
- Ok, ok so this only tells you how he got Shmee, but that is.vital to this story. -
-Ok, now we're going to fast-forward to age two. At age two he now has somewhat coherent thoughts, can walk, and can talk.-
Squee stumbled over to his mom (w/ Shmee in arms). "Mamie, Hungie."
"Go away I'm busy ignoring you dear. Go tell your father," was her reply.
Squee wobbling makes his way into his father's study.
"Dadie, Hungie."
"Go away! You RUINED my LIFE! Before you everything was FINE! NOW I have to feed and clothe you! Go fix your own damned food!" was his father's answer.
-So Squee having gone through two years of this already, decided not to ask anymore. This also meant he had he had no one to talk to.-
Squee somehow fixed himself some cereal - don't ask, seriously its best you just go with it - He ate his food and went up stairs to play in his room. He played with many toys dinosaurs, toy cars, and plastic boat etcetera.
-He kept this routine up for another year (and still carried his "comfort bear" everywhere).-
One day Squee was playing at the park and it began to storm. He took off towards home.but dropped Shmee on the sidewalk in his haste. *Frightened Gasp* He was already across the street when he noticed, but the light changed and traffic began to flow before he could get back across. He decided he could wait to cross the street until the light changed again so he could go and retrieve his fallen compadre.
JUST THEN *Suspense Gasp* Lightening struck Shmee. *mmmm.fried teddy*(
Finally the light changed again, and Squee crossed back over and retrieved his friend's fried parts. He crossed back over and continued his journey home. Out of nowhere an old hag steps into his path, looks at Shmee and asks:
"Was that your friend, Dearie?"
Squee looked up at her.
"Y-y-yes."
"I can fix him for you, Dearie. All you have to do is follow me." she said.
"Um.ok."
So Squee followed her up her drive to the scary old house. When they got inside her house, the old lady gave Squee some milk and cookies and took Shmee from him. The old lady left him to his snack and took Shmee to a secret room. She sewed Shmee back together and added some of her.
SPECIAL stuffing.
This was no ordinary stuffing, you see. This was stuffing that a witch doctor from Africa had given her during her visit there. This stuffing reacted to its environment and to its owner (the owner of whatever it was put into.), but only to that owner. The old Lady gave Shmee back to Squee and sent him on his way.
On the way back home, some guy stops in his car and offers Squee some candy. Squee starts to take the candy when Shmee pipes up,
"You aren't supposed to take candy from strangers."
Well, as you can imagine this scared poor little Squee to death, and he ran all the way home screaming his head off the whole way.
- I know everyone who has read JtHM wonders how Shmee talks and why Squee is the only one who hears him. Well, if you've read Squee you will know that Squee got abducted by aliens. Although he was talking to Shmee before that .um.yeah. What you didn't see though was when Squee was first born. Now we go back, back to the date of Squee's birth.-
*Picture is hazy and there are little wavy lines all around the place*
"Push honey!"
"I AM PUSHING!!! This RETCHED BRAT won't come OUT!!!!!"
A LOT more pushing, a few colorful words, and 12 hours later.
"Awe, he's so adorable!" exclaimed the first nurse.
"Just look at those cheeks!" rejoiced the second nurse.
"Isn't he just the most handsome little thing you ever did see!" the doctor exclaimed.
"I think he needs a cute little toy to play with" stated the second nurse, "I'll be right back." (she quickly ran to the gift shop) "Here you go little one." And she gave him a stuffed bear.
- Ok, ok so this only tells you how he got Shmee, but that is.vital to this story. -
-Ok, now we're going to fast-forward to age two. At age two he now has somewhat coherent thoughts, can walk, and can talk.-
Squee stumbled over to his mom (w/ Shmee in arms). "Mamie, Hungie."
"Go away I'm busy ignoring you dear. Go tell your father," was her reply.
Squee wobbling makes his way into his father's study.
"Dadie, Hungie."
"Go away! You RUINED my LIFE! Before you everything was FINE! NOW I have to feed and clothe you! Go fix your own damned food!" was his father's answer.
-So Squee having gone through two years of this already, decided not to ask anymore. This also meant he had he had no one to talk to.-
Squee somehow fixed himself some cereal - don't ask, seriously its best you just go with it - He ate his food and went up stairs to play in his room. He played with many toys dinosaurs, toy cars, and plastic boat etcetera.
-He kept this routine up for another year (and still carried his "comfort bear" everywhere).-
One day Squee was playing at the park and it began to storm. He took off towards home.but dropped Shmee on the sidewalk in his haste. *Frightened Gasp* He was already across the street when he noticed, but the light changed and traffic began to flow before he could get back across. He decided he could wait to cross the street until the light changed again so he could go and retrieve his fallen compadre.
JUST THEN *Suspense Gasp* Lightening struck Shmee. *mmmm.fried teddy*(
Finally the light changed again, and Squee crossed back over and retrieved his friend's fried parts. He crossed back over and continued his journey home. Out of nowhere an old hag steps into his path, looks at Shmee and asks:
"Was that your friend, Dearie?"
Squee looked up at her.
"Y-y-yes."
"I can fix him for you, Dearie. All you have to do is follow me." she said.
"Um.ok."
So Squee followed her up her drive to the scary old house. When they got inside her house, the old lady gave Squee some milk and cookies and took Shmee from him. The old lady left him to his snack and took Shmee to a secret room. She sewed Shmee back together and added some of her.
SPECIAL stuffing.
This was no ordinary stuffing, you see. This was stuffing that a witch doctor from Africa had given her during her visit there. This stuffing reacted to its environment and to its owner (the owner of whatever it was put into.), but only to that owner. The old Lady gave Shmee back to Squee and sent him on his way.
On the way back home, some guy stops in his car and offers Squee some candy. Squee starts to take the candy when Shmee pipes up,
"You aren't supposed to take candy from strangers."
Well, as you can imagine this scared poor little Squee to death, and he ran all the way home screaming his head off the whole way.