Author's Notes: Yea… So, I decided to make a one shot/song fic. This has been stuck in my head and I can't continue my other fic if this keeps interfering. T_T I have never tried this before but … n_n This will be AU. I recommend listening to the song KISMET by SILENT SANCTUARY before/while/after reading this story. Four things you need to know about this fic: (1) the underlined sentences are on Spencer's POV; (2) the italicized sentences are on Ashley's POV (making the underlined/italicized sentences both Ashley and Spencer's POV); (3) the phrases/sentences in bold are the song lyrics; and (4) this story skips by years…so keep up. XD
Disclaimer: I do not own SON and the song Kismet (Silent Sanctuary). That would have been cool though!
KISMET
Summary: Meeting her is my destiny – she is my destiny. (One-shot/Song Fic/AU)
I don't usually believe in fate or destiny – Kismet. I think that is a load of crap because I don't like the idea that there is a predetermined outcome of the things that I choose; that my choice is almost invalid because what is destined to happen happens. But one look from her and I don't care anymore. Whatever belief system I have acquired in my 17 years of living in this planet, her eyes just made me throw it all out the window. As passé as it sounds, I, Ashley Davies, am a believer now. Meeting her is my destiny – she is my destiny.
It had to be DESTINY! There is no other way to explain it. Her eyes being the first thing I saw when I walked into my new school, in my first class – late; her melodic voice serenading me when she asked me to be her lab partner for the whole year in our third class; her gentle touch grazing my hand when she picked up the handkerchief I accidentally dropped on the floor while rushing on the halls of the school. When I was a little kid, I believed that a prince in a shining armor will sweep me off my feet. Growing up and realizing I was gay, some minor details changed. Now, I am waiting for a beautiful Princess who will sweep of my feet. Looking at her, I, Spencer Carlin, knew I found my princess. Meeting her is my destiny – she is my destiny.
Didn't mean to take you for granted
Didn't mean to show I don't care
Didn't mean to throw away
This once in a lifetime of chance being with you
I should be happy. Really, I should. I am on tour with my band and all of America loves us – love me, especially. I have fans lining up outside the venues of my show – rain, hail and storms not stopping them – just to get a glimpse of me. Money is pouring in, not that I need it, but its great to have my own money – money that I earned. Women are not a problem either, I have groupies left and right and I can use them and they don't even feel remorse if I left them. All they want is to spend time with The Ashley Davies, their dignity none withstanding. This is the life of a rockstar – I am a rockstar! This is the life that I have wanted to live since I was a kid. And now that I have it, I should be happy. I should… but I'm not. I miss my ex-girlfriend. I miss Spencer.
You see, I dropped out from high school just when my senior year was starting. A few weeks after dropping out, I started playing little gigs at different bars and started sending demo CDs to record companies. My girlfriend for 2 years, at that time, Spencer, supported me every step of the way. She was always there when I have a gig even if she has school the next day. She would always cheer loudly when I get up on stage. Some people tell me that it was annoying, but I only see it as endearing. If she can't come she will make it up to me the next day and for that whole day I feel really loved. She was always there, she always cared, she keeps me grounded, and she is my rock. I love her and I know she loves me.
After a few months of enjoying little gigs a major power player in the music industry, Marcus Relae – a producer, saw me at my show and offered a deal – I accepted. I was beyond ecstatic and Spencer and I ended up celebrating that night. I remember that night like it was just yesterday because that was the night that I asked her to move in with me and she accepted.
A few months after signing the contract, Spencer and I grew apart. She was starting college and I was so consumed with my career. I remember Spencer calling me when it was late and I was still in the studio. I would always get irritated because she knows I was working and she was disturbing me. I would usually just hung up on her and then make up to her the next day if and only if I had time – I usually don't. She always forgave me so I do it over and over again.
I should have seen the warning signs but I didn't. I think, at that moment in my life, I didn't care about anyone but myself anymore – I was selfish. At October 28, 2008, 5 years ago to this day, I came home late and drunk after a gig. I saw Spencer sitting at the sofa in our apartment, waiting for me – I can tell she had been crying. I sat next to her and was about to give her a kiss but she pulled away. I was about to say 'sorry', which she and I both know I don't really mean, when she spoke. Her voice was so soft, so hurt, that I barely heard it.
"I can't do this anymore." She said. That sobered me up but I didn't do anything.
After 5 minutes of silence, she stood up and went to our bedroom. When she came out, she was carrying a suitcase.
"I'll get my other stuff later this week." Those were the last words that she said to me before she walked out the door – out of my life. When the door closed behind her I sprung to my feet and started walking towards the kitchen – I needed a drink. When I walked into the dinning room I saw dinner served for two – spaghetti and meatballs, my favorite; new candles on the middle of the table; and a bouquet of flowers sitting on one side. I looked at the flowers and grabbed the card placed on top of it.
"Happy 3rd anniversary, Baby. I love you. – Spencer." That's what the card said. I slumped to one chair as the tears that I have been keeping at bay spilled. I forgot our anniversary – she deserved to walk out of my life.
As I remember all these things, tears continually poured down my eyes. Unlike the other October 28's, this time I'm sober – I need to stop ignoring this, I need to feel the pain. Spencer was the girl that got away because of my own selfishness and stupidity. I will get her back and this time I will treat her unlike what I did before. I will be the princess that she had been waiting for.
I want to be happy again and she is my happiness.
And I'll drive for two hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance
Looking for Spencer proved to be harder than I thought. I went to her parent's house, in L.A., to ask around only to be kicked out of the house by Spencer's father - Arthur Carlin. Now, Arthur was my greatest supporter when Spencer and I were still dating but I guess that's what I get for breaking her little girl's heart. I kept calling the Carlin's though, I never gave up. I was hoping that somehow they will get fed up and give me an address. That or put a restraining order on me.
I tried contacting our other mutual friends only to be cursed at or be told to 'lay off' or just completely ignored. I deserved that and so much more.
In the end, I hired a private investigator – that was 3 months ago. Yesterday, the PI called me telling me that he found Spencer and gave me the address. So here I am, sitting inside a rental car, in front of an apartment complex, in New York City. Why she moved to New York, I don't know, all I know is that I have been sitting here for a good 2 hours and I still can't get my feet out of this car. It's already 8 o'clock at night and my lower extremities are starting to numb.
After taking a deep breath for the millionth time, I got out of the car taking the pack of Butterfingers, her favorite candy bar, with me. I walked inside the apartment complex and took out a paper from my pocket where Spencer's address is written. I walked to the elevator and pressed the '7' button. After the excruciatingly long elevator ride, I walked out and stepped on the seventh floor. Looking at the directions in front of me, I turned left. I stopped at the wooden door with the number 708 written on it. If the PI was right, this is Spencer's door. At the other side of this door is the girl that got away. At the other side of this door is a whole new beginning for me – for better or for worse.
A lot of thoughts ran through my mind that I didn't notice that I have been standing there for at least 20 minutes. What jolted me to the present was the tap that I felt on my shoulder. I jumped a good 2 feet, almost letting go of the pack of candy bars, before I clutch my chest to control my frantic heart. What I heard after that did not help in calming me at all.
"Sorry, Ashley, I didn't mean to scare you." That is Spencer's voice. God, I missed her voice.
This time I surrender
My everything, forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together
I turned around only to be drowned by the most beautiful ocean blue eyes I have ever seen. She looks so beautiful. "Spencer…" Somehow that is all my mind can process.
"Hey, Ashley." She told me with a slight smile. Oh god, how I miss seeing her smile. "So… How long have you been standing in front of my door?"
"I…uhmm… I don't… I wasn't…" After all these years, this girl still renders me speechless and I don't mind at all.
She smiled at me again then motioned for me to move so she can reach her door – I was, apparently, blocking it. I moved and let her open the door.
"Would you like to come in?" She asked me as she faced me again. I don't know how to respond to that. I want to but I don't want to push it. It seems like seeing Spencer fried my brains and I can't even think properly. "Come on, you look tired." She said motioning for me to follow her. I nod and did what she asked.
Her apartment speaks volumes about her. It's simple yet homey and everything about it screams Spencer – I love it, just like I know I love the owner – I never stopped.
"This is a nice place you got here." I said as I looked around.
"Thanks, its not as big as your mansion but I like it." She told me while walking into her living room and sitting on the sofa.
I smiled and said, "This is better than my mansion. My place is cold, this is…warm, comfy, homey – best place to relax."
"So…you want anything to drink? Juice? Water? Coffee?"
"No. Thank you. I'm fine."
"Ok, so… sit down." She said, telling me to sit down on the sofa that she was currently occupying.
I sat down and tried my best to be comfortable but it just won't happen. It seems like Spencer noticed it because she was the one who broke the ice. "So, why are you here, Ashley?"
I look at her and said, "You don't beat around… like you used to."
"Things change." She said, looking directly into my eyes. After a beat. "So are you going to tell me?"
"I was in the neighborhood." A lie...
"Last time I checked you lived in L.A. Are you here for business then?" She asked, raising a brow.
"Yeah… There are things that are needed to be done here." Not completely a lie.
She just stared at me and sighed. "You weren't really the best liar Ashley."
I looked down, ashamed that that she caught on my lie and relieved that somehow she still knows me.
Mustering every inch of courage I have in my body I said while meeting her eyes, "I came here to see you… I just want to apologize for the way that I treated you when we were still together. I know the apology is 5 years late but I hope it still means something to you because it means a whole to me. I didn't handle everything well before and I apologize for that. But like you said, things change, I know I have. I can be better. I know I can. I… I guess, what I'm saying is, I just want you to give me a chance to prove to you that I can be a better person. I missed you when you were gone and now that I found you again I don't think I can function properly without in my life. Please give me this chance."
We stayed silent for a few minutes until she finally spoke, "I think you should leave." And with that she stood and walked to the front door opening it for me. I stared at her for the longest second before standing up and walking through the door. The moment I stepped out of her apartment, I heard the door shut and a click of the lock.
This is the 'whole new beginning' for me – for worse.
I didn't immediately leave NY after Spencer closed the door of her apartment to me – I would want to but I can't. My new manager, Ethan Marks, found out I am in NY so he followed me and told me to stay abit here and do some promotional shows and other stuff. And what better way to ignore the intense pain of a broken heart than to occupy my time with the work. So, naturally, I accepted.
This brings me here inside the apartment I bought when Spencer and I were still together - we usually stay here when I had shows in NY. I have been here for a week and now it is early in the morning and I'm waiting for some interviewer from MTV. Ethan said that this person is a NY hotshot and I should "not screw this up". Whatever. The faster I finish this, the faster I can get back to L.A.
The doorbell rang so I got up to answer it and to my shock it was Spencer. "What are you doing here?"
She brushed my question aside and said, "Good Morning. I'm Spencer Carlin and this is my cameraman Louie Surkat and we are here from MTV."
I was still slacked jawed and hurt – she didn't even want to recognize me. Good thing Ethan was just at my back and spoke, "Come in… Come in…"
I stepped away from the door and sat on the sofa in the living room. It seems like Spencer came in here to interview me… just for that. I can keep this professional – that's what she wants, I'll honor that. After setting things up, the interview started.
After the interview, I got up and said, "Well, I'm actually tired, so…I'll see you around." With that said, I shook Louie's and Spencer's hands and I went to the hallway connecting the living room to the bedrooms. I entered the master bedroom – once Spencer and mine – and just lay on the bed.
"This place didn't change all that much." Came Spencer's voice which made me shoot up from lying on the bed.
I answered her with a stare so she went on talking. "I'm sorry to be so cold when you opened the door. No one that I work with actually knows that we know each other so I kinda had my professional mask on."
"I understand." I did… and it hurts.
"Look, Ashley, I'm sorry that I asked you to leave my apartment like that. I was shocked that you actually came to see me after all those years and when you said what you said, I felt like my world was spinning. I needed to think and I can't really think straight when you're in the room." I smiled a little at that one. "When you left, a lot of thought came rushing through my head. I was having a debate about whether I'll give you a chance or not. That night I came with a decision." There was a pregnant pause and I was holding my breath. "You should thank Butterfingers, Ashley. I'll give you a chance." She finally said with a dazzling smile.
I smiled, a true smile, and was able to breath normally again. Then I became confused. "Why Butterfingers?"
Her smile became bigger as she explained. "You brought a pack with you remember? So that ended up adding some points to you…" Oh, right… Thank you Butterfinger! "And I saw this. It was underneath the pack." She handed me a paper and I looked at it curiously.
The paper contains her name and her address. This was the paper where I wrote the contact info that the PI gave me – I guess it never made it back in my pocket. "The other side", she said. So I flipped the paper and saw my chicken scratch handwriting again. This is the song that I have been writing for her when we were still together. I never finished it before because of all the hiatus at work and Spencer breaking up with me. I have wanted to finish it since the day I was sober on October 28 but I just can't find the proper words. I finally completed the song just a few minutes before the PI called me.
"You finished it. I never thought you would. When I saw that, I knew that I should give you a chance. Its like a sign that you know what you want now and that you know how to handle it." She finished by giving me a bright smile.
I smiled at her in return and hugged her. I guess I was wrong a week ago – this is for the better.
Pride no longer has room in me
On bended knees in public I cry your name
For everyone to know that I love you, I love you
Please hear me now
Things have been looking up! Since the day Spencer gave me another chance everything is falling into place. It was hard at first because she lives in NY and I live in LA but I managed to ask the company to base me in NY so it worked out ok. After about 10 months of being just friends we finally started dating and eventually became an item - that happened 3 years ago! I couldn't be happier when we kissed after so many years of being apart. I missed those lips on my own and I know that this is where I want to be.
Right now, I am about to go on stage set up on Madison Square Garden and Spencer is holding my hand. This will be the last concert that I will have for my entire life because after this I am retiring. I think I have been in this business long enough and there are just more important things. I am actually going to announce it to this crowd tonight and hopefully they will understand. Before going on stage Spencer pulled me in a passionate kiss that leaves me dazed for a few minutes then whispers to my ears, "I'll be here when you're done." All I can do is smile and run to the stage feeling like I'm in cloud nine.
Before the last song, I announced that I am going to retire and explained to the crowd my reasons. Towards the end of my speech I switched gears and called Spencer on stage. She was shocked to say the least and a bit reluctant but she came towards me. We are both standing on the middle of the stage and I held her hand and started talking again.
"…As I said, there are just some other things in life that are more important. I found out about those things 9 years ago. But somehow, I forgot about it so I ended up disappointing people and hurting the one person who has been there for me all through out. I lost her before but I found her now and I am not letting her go." As I said the last part, I was looking deep in Spencer's eyes.
Still looking directly into Spencer's eyes, I continued. "Spencer, you've been there for me all through these crazy, rich, full years and I don't even know what I would have done without you. You are my rock, you always keep me grounded. You are my angel, always there to guide me. You are my best friend, I can always talk to you about anything. And you are the love of my life and I love you more than life itself. I've lost you once and those years were the worst of my life. I don't ever want that to happen again." I went down of my knees and finished my speech. "Spencer Carlin, I love you. Will you make me the happiest girl alive and marry me?"
And I'll drive for two hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance
Life if good! Incase you're wondering what happened at the concert where I proposed to Spencer, well, she said yes and we got engaged! It was actually the talk of the town for awhile. Then after 5 months we got married and now she is my wife and I am hers. Again, life is good!
We moved to LA where she started her own production company and since she was already a hotshot down at NY, LA accepted her with open arms. I on the other hand became a song writer and producer. Some of the bands that I have handle were really good, I am very proud of them.
Right now, I am driving home from work because there was a meeting that I cannot get out of. Of course, my wife, hmm… I like saying that… anyway I called my wife, Spencer, a few hours ago and told her about the meeting. She was not ecstatic about it but she was fine with it. So to make up for it and to help her get better because she is not feeling good recently, I brought her a pack of Butterfingers. Instant points for me!
We live just outside LA, in the suburbs. It a nice neighborhood and everybody seems cool. It is actually a perfect place for raising children. And speaking of which, we actually tried artificial insemination. I am the egg donor, Spencer was the one who will conceive the child and a close friend of ours, Aiden Dennison, was the sperm donor. We still haven't heard any news on it but I do hope that it worked.
I am actually exited to have a child. It is scary but with Spencer with me nothing could go wrong. I can see it now, Spencer will be the one who tells our child to not eat too much cookies and I would be the one who will secretly give them a cookie. Or Spencer will be the one who will read to her at night and I will be the one who will sing to her every morning. Or…If it's a girl then Spencer will be the one who will openly let them date and I will interrogate anyone who comes 2 feet near her. Or…or… if it's a boy Spencer will be the one who gives him proper advise on how to treat the ladies and I will just hand him a condom! I really can see it, Spencer and I will be the best moms in the world!
This time I surrender
My everything, forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together
As I was passing an intersection, suddenly there was a blinding light at the side of my car – the light is coming towards me. What the hell...
It happened so fast. One minute I was thinking of my child and Spencer the next all I can feel is pain…then everything went black.
This time I surrender
My everything, forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together
Ashley should be home any minute now. She called me a few minutes ago and told me that she was getting ready to go home. She is late because she got held up on some meeting at the record company. It was terribly cute how she profusely apologized to me on the phone when she called me before their meeting started. She really has changed from the self obsessed rockstar to this gentle, kind, responsible and loving wife – my wife, I love saying that.
I acted a bit disappointed with her when she called but to tell you the truth, I am not, far from it actually. I needed a bit of time to prepare for this evening. This is not an ordinary evening because this is the night I will tell Ashley that I am pregnant. Now, I didn't cheat on her or something, we had artificial insemination. I was feeling under the weather lately and at the office I threw up so my staff almost dragged me to the doctors. It was very sweet of them. That or Ashley ordered them to "take care of Spencer or else"… I really love my wife! Anyway, the doctor checked me out and that's where I found out I am pregnant. I have this really shocked expression all the way back to my office that my staff was panicking and ranting about Ashley torturing them then killing them then feeding them to piranhas or something similar – gosh, what did Ash tell them, I almost felt bad, but I didn't. The only thing that was running through my mind was that I am pregnant and I know that Ashley will be more than ecstatic about it.
I remember when we decided to do AI, she was so excited, she really wants to have a child. She was the one who suggested the idea and was even willing to be the bearer of the child. I was shocked when she proposed it to me that I don't have a ready answer for her. But then she just said that I should think about it because she knows that it was a huge responsibility and it will be life changing and that she will wait, however long, for me to be ready.
I thought about it and said yes, on a condition that I will be the bearer of our child. She was so happy when I told her that I can practically see her flying to the moon. She actually carried me and twirled me around like those you see in movies. I became a bit dizzy after that but I love it – I love making her happy.
Which brings me to this moment. I am here sitting at the sofa of our house waiting for the door to open signaling the arrival of my very pretty, very sexy wife. I have prepared dinner and bought some non-alcoholic beverage with a kick for our celebration.
I was brought out from my musing by the sound of the phone ringing. Who could this be? This better not be some psycho who calls at night hoping for a booty call – I hate those people.
"Hello?" I said through the phone.
"Is this Spencer Carlin – Davies, wife of one Ashley Davies?"
"Yes, who is this?" I hope this is not a stalker.
"Good evening, my name is Dr. Carl Morale, of the California Medical Center." A doctor? "Mrs. Ashley Davies was admitted to the hospital a few minutes ago because she was a part of a vehicular accident…"
"I'll be right there." I cut him off before he can even say anything else.
And I'll drive for two hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance
I rushed out the door taking my keys and cellphone with me and headed into my car. I drove as fast as I can to California Medical Center. Halfway there, traffic became heavy. That's weird, there was rarely traffic at this part of LA. I was becoming frantic, panicky and restless – I have to get to Ashley fast.
I finally found the source of the traffic. I saw Ashley's car being towed, a truck stopped beside it, 2 police officers and a police car at the scene. Oh my… Ashley's car looks like a giant kicked it on the side. The other door of her car looks like it was sawed in order to open it. If my Baby was in there when that truck slammed on it then… No, Spencer, Ashley is strong. She will not give up. She won't leave you.
Then that's when I saw it, a pack of Butterfingers is lying on the ground. My Baby brought me Butterfingers.
I remembered the time when she first brought me Butterfingers – it was a week after we first met. She was away on some family thing because her mom decided that they should spend time together. She was suspicious because her mom never does things like that unless it was to get something out of it. Her suspicions were confirmed when she got to the place, a cabin in the woods up north, a couple of hour from the city, and she saw the new boy toy of her mother. It turns out this new guy is a family man that's why her mom brought her with to try and impress him. The worse part the signal of the cellular phones there is so weak that you can barely send a message or if you were lucky enough to send one it will only reach your receiver after 20 minutes. Needless to say, Ashley became utterly irritated and bored out of her mind.
Later that night, I was in my room, resting because I don't feel well. It seems like I caught a bug or something because I have flu and my coughing is terrible. I was in the middle of texting Ashley when I suddenly became unable to breath properly. I was becoming weak and my oxygen supply was becoming low. Somehow, from my struggle to breath I accidentally pressed the speed dial for Ashley and amazingly it connected. I dropped my phone on the bed and that was when my brother, Glen showed up saying that he needed to borrow my computer. I guess it was a good thing he needed my computer or else I don't think I would have survived. My family brought me to the hospital and, there I was stabilized. It seems like my asthma when I was a kid resurfaced again because of pollens or something. When the doctor and mom was sure that I was ok. They let me sleep and rest.
The next day I was woken up by a warm hand resting on top of my own hand – turns out it was Ashley's hand. She was sleeping on a hospital chair which looks really uncomfortable while her head is on the bed. I just looked at her because she looks so beautiful then slept again.
When I woke up a few hours after, Ashley was still there however she was reading a book. I called her attention and asked, "Why are you here?"
She moved her chair closer to my bed and said, "I heard the hiatus when you pressed the call button of your phone. I was so worried so I came here. I needed to see with my own eyes that you are ok."
"I am fine. But aren't you suppose to be up north, at the woods somewhere?"
"Yeah, I insisted that I come back when I heard you. My mom doesn't want to because I was ruining her vacation. But Kevin, that's mom's new boy toy, was pretty cool. He gave me the keys to his car and I drove here."
"Thanks for coming." I said with a smile.
"Your welcome. Just… You have to promise me something…"
"O…kay…"
"Never scare me like that again. I almost had a heart attack and I think I am too young to die. Besides I need you. Who else will let me copy her notes on every subject that we have?" She said with a smirk.
I laughed at that then said, "I won't do it again if you promise to get me some Butterfingers."
"I will buy a whole factor just for you."
That's how I fell in love with her even more.
The next day, she brought me a dozen packs of Butterfinger.
I took my eyes off the pack of candy bars and concentrated on my driving. Thankfully after the wreckage, the roads are on their normal no traffic state. I sped all the way to the hospital clutching the steering wheel tightly.
I'm coming, Baby. Hold on.
This time I surrender
My everything, forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together
"Where is Ashley Davies? The one which is involve in the car accident." I asked the reception lady when as soon as I reached the hospital.
"Are you…?"
"I'm Spencer Carlin – Davies, her wife."
"Well, Mrs. Davies, your wife is still in surgery. If you would just wait here so that I can alert the doctors that a family member is here." The nurse said motioning me to sit at the waiting area.
Here I am, sitting on a chair at the waiting area, slowly going out of my mind. It has been 20 minutes and no doctor has come and approached me yet. My mom called me a few minutes ago because they saw the breaking news on TV. She said that they are coming to this hospital.
30 minutes after, my parents arrived. My mom, Paula Carlin, hugged me immediately and that's when the tears started to rain. My mom held me tighter as my dad rubbed my back. My mom what not the biggest supporter of Ashley before, she kept telling me that the girl was trouble and that I should not be with her. Then Ashley broke my heart. My mom somehow found a way to rub in my face that she was right about Ashley. I can't really argue that much because I was still hurt at that time.
When Ashley and I got back together, Mom's disapproval became apparent. It was starting to really irritate me and I was about to say something harsh to her when Ashley stopped me and said that she would talk to mom. So at one Friday night dinner, Ashley asked my mom to go on a walk with her. My mom, sensed that Ashley wants to talk to her so she accepted.
I was beyond nervous when the two of them were out that I stayed outside my parents house so that if I every hear them arguing I can come between them faster. I kept imagining cat fights and heated words and hair pulling. When they came back, mom walked to me, hugged me and kissed my forehead. Then she said, "I love you, Spencer, I always will." Then turning to Ashley she said, "Keep your promise and I will not skin you alive." Ashley just nod her head in response. After that weird exchange my mom said her goodnights and headed back inside the house. Ashley never told me what they talked about that night, it was like their own little secret. I was irritated at first but then a few weeks after, mom and Ashley's relationship became really good so I let it go. Mom was even the one who walked Ashley at the altar for our wedding.
Come to think of it, Ashley was the only girlfriend that I had who my mom approved of. Granted that it took years to convince my mom, Ashley was the only one who did it. I told her that my mom's approval is a huge deal for me that's why she made a lot of effort to have a good relationship with my mom. I love her even more because of that.
I don't know when the tears stopped because by the time that my face is dry my legs are numb and my biceps are sore for remaining contracted the whole time. Its been 3 hours and I am still sitting on a chair in the waiting area, my feet raised to my closed to my chest.
Suddenly a doctor came in wearing a bloody scrub said, "Who is here for Mrs. Davies?"
This time I surrender
My everything, forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together
The Dr. Morale told me that the operation was a success however Ashley is still in critical condition for the next 72 hours. There was a lot of internal bleeding so she was moved to ICU. Ash had been sleeping for one and a half days and I am getting worried. But Dr. Morale and my mom, who happens to be a doctor too, assured me that it was ok – that Ashley's body needed the rest. My mom said that I should talk to her because somehow it helps so that's what I do.
"Hey, Baby, how are you feeling today? I missed you last night you know. Its never the same when you are not in bed with me… that came out dirty. But I know you like it… So, a lot of people are worried about you. The band you are handling is currently pacing outside. They are actually adorable. Then there is Ethan and Aiden and even Glen. You know he has always given you a hard time but somehow he is really really worried about you – that makes me smile. And I am worried too, baby. You've been here for one and a half days yet you still haven't showed any sign that your going to wake up. I want you to wake up Ash. Please, for me… and for our baby. Yes, Ash you heard me right, I'm pregnant. I found out 2 days ago and I was going to tell you when you got home… I need you to wake up baby, I don't think I can do this without you. Please… I love you Ash… Please wake up… Please…" With every plead I said, more and more tears roll down my cheeks.
Suddenly a loud beeping sound startled me and I immediately called the nurse. Someone escorted me outside the ICU as they closed the door and the curtains.
This time I surrender
My everything… (my everything…)
Ohh…
"Is it true? Are we really having a baby?" Those were the first words that left Ashley's mouth when I came back inside the ICU after Ashley flat lined for a few seconds, good thing the doctors were able to revive her.
"Is it true, Spence?" She repeated. I can tell that it hurts her to talk but I can see happiness in her eyes.
"Yes, we're having a baby." I said while moving towards her and sitting on the chair beside her bed. Looking at her eyes, I couldn't take it anymore so my voice started to crack. "God, Ash, you scared me. Don't ever do that again, please. Don't scare me like that again." I pleaded to her, taking her hand and holding it against my tear wet cheek.
"I'm sorry… Please don't cry." Ashley told me while she wipe the tears from my eyes. "I didn't want to scare you. If it was up to me then you would never shed tears. Please Spence, don't cry anymore."
"Just promise me…."
"Anything."
"Promise me that you will never leave me. Promise me that you will stay with me until the end of time. Promise me that you will be there when we raise our child. I can't do this alone Ash. You have to be there. You have to promise me."
"Spencer, you are the most wonderful woman that I have ever met. You will be great with our child, I know it so don't say otherwise. And I would never leave you. You are the love of my life – you are my life. I will always be there for you. Forever. I love you, Spencer Carlin – Davies. I love you so much."
And I'll drive for two hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance
You still kept a lot of secrets. I'm shocked.
I'm sorry. What secrets are we talking ab…"
You know, you still didn't tell me what you and my mom talked about when you went for that walk.
Oh… you know the basics. I just defended my love for you. It was hard to talk to her at first because I broke your heart before but then I, somehow, got through to her.
And I still don't know what she meant when she threaten you that she will skin you alive.
She told me that if I ever break your heart again she will skin me alive.
I bet that's funny.
I didn't think so. She looked really serious. I actually think that she meant it.
Ethan came to my office this morning, he gave me a cd. You also didn't tell me that you recorded our song.
Well, I can't let a beautiful song just go to waste. You know me, Spence, I never let my creativity go to waste, especially when a song is dedicated to you.
He wants to release it and put it in the tribute album.
Well, its up to you to decide if you are ok with it or no. You own the copyrights now.
I shouldn't even be the one deciding this if you didn't…
Spencer… I'm sorry. You know I am…
You weren't supposed to die Ashley. You were suppose to get better after waking up. You were suppose to be here with me now.
Spencer, you have to calm down.
You were… you said you wouldn't want me to shed any tears. Now I'm crying Ash. Look at me. I am staring at your grave and I can't keep my tears at bay because you're not here.
Shh… don't cry anymore baby. Please don't cry. I'm here. I'm close to you. I'm hugging you right now. I'm comforting you. So please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry.
You were suppose to be here to feel our baby kick inside at my stomach.
It kicked? Really? Did it…
Yes, it hurt a little but it was worth it. I bet she will be a soccer player or something.
She…? A girl…
A baby girl, Ash. A baby girl. I went to the doctor before I came here. The ultra sound says that we are having a baby girl.
Wow. Our baby girl.
I know you didn't want to leave me. I know that you fought until your last breath. And I know I'm just giving you a hard time whenever I blame you for leaving me.
I maybe gone physically but I'll always be with you because…
I know you are there watching over me and our baby because…
…we are two souls entwined. Seeing the same things, feeling the same sensations. We may never see each other again, but we know deep in our hearts, we love each other more than ever. Physical separation is not a barrier. Even death cannot keep us and our hearts apart. This is what the hand of fate gave us. Our gift to continually be together. This is destiny's dance – Kismet.
I love you Spencer. Always.
I love you Ashley, Always.
Forever.
~END~
Author's Notes: This is the longest one shot that I have even come across with. Sorry. LOL. Hope you like it though. Please review. n_n