Author's Notes: Hey, ummm…well this is my second attempt at the prologue as I forgot to include A/N in the previous tries. I know. smacks self So I hope you guys have enjoyed these notes since it took me a while to get them up! LOL, thnx. Oh, and thanks to all my wonderful reviewers and I also want to thank my brand-spanking-new BETA...drum roll please Sianne Kristy. She's awesome, so thnx! So... ummmmm- enjoy! LOL :)

Disclaimer: If I owned him, do you really think I would be here writing fanfic?

Prologue

"Spike, I need to talk to you." Buffy called as she slammed open the dilapidating door to the vampire's dark crypt.

"Well, good morning to you, too, luv." Spike said as he climbed out of his bed to pull on his usual black t-shirt. Buffy paused for a moment to stare at his bare chest before snapping out of it when Spike said, "My eyes are up here, Slayer," while pointing to them just to prove his point.

"I'm serious," she continued almost as if nothing had happened, only looking at his chest occasionally, " We- I - need to talk."

"Mphmprum, p blmj fk gsof jo ugj muo." Spike said, his response muffled by the shirt which was now around his head.

"What?" Buffy asked, losing her patience.

"I said, 'Actually, I need to talk to you too.' So you can go ahead and say 'We need to talk.'" the blond joked sitting down on what appeared to be a couch after finally having managed to get his shirt all the way on.

"Oh!" Buffy exclaimed, not even bothering to hide her surprise, "Well, then 'We -"

"Actually, can I go first?" Spike interrupted, his usually joking tone replaced by the voice that'd always managed to get Buffy nervous.

'Why are you nervous?' , she thought, nodding absently, 'You're the one breaking up with him!"

"You might wanna sit down, pet." Spike whispered softly, refusing to look her in the eyes.

'This is bad.' flashed briefly in Buffy's mind as she sat down beside the vampire.

"Well?" Buffy asked. She prepared herself for- well, she really didn't know what, but she could tell she wouldn't like it. Spike still didn't respond, just kept staring at his black fingernails.

'Go ahead, you bloody coward!'

"Do you love me?" Spike muttered, still intently staring at a chip in his manicure.

"What!" Buffy managed. "What gives you the right to ask me that? What? I mean sure there- "

"I think I've got the right to ask you whatever I bloody well want since I've put up with your self righteous act for so long. That and, hmm? Maybe it could be the fact that we've been making love on and off for the past couple of weeks!" the peroxide prone vampire interrupted. "I mean, what's a bloke to think? Bird he likes acts like she likes him. I mean I just figured…"

Unfortunately Spike didn't notice that Buffy had jumped up and stopped her own ramblings and was now staring at him with an incredulous look plastered on her face.

"Making love?" Buffy asked, interrupting Spike, "Is that what you think we've been doing?"

"Well, yeah." Spike mumbled, almost sheepishly.

"Well, I'm sorry Spike, but we've never 'made love'. We've- how do the Brits put it? Oh, yeah. We've shagged." she told him, laughing at her use of his own phrase. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Fang Boy, but you kinda need love, to make love."

"Which I take to mean that you don't love me." Spike said, growing angry, sad, and more and more impatient.

"Does the word 'Duh' mean anything to you?" Buffy said cruelly while smiling at the vampire with contempt.

"Well, you've probably heard it more times then I have, Slayer, but either way I still have one more question to ask you." he told a now very stunned and angry Slayer.

"I am SO going to kick your a-" Buffy started only to be interrupted by Spike who was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Ah, ah, ah. Ladies don't use such foul language! Oh, well. Guess it would matter more if you had any shred of manners in you." the blond 'man' said speaking with a much more sophisticated, yet equally deadly voice. "Where was I? Ah, yes. One…last…question."

Buffy could only watch as he moved closer with each word. As he finished speaking she finally realized that they were very close, too close. Still, she didn't move and decided to pretend that they weren't only a few inches apart.

"Ask your stupid question and get on with it, Spike!" Buffy said, more quietly and with a much more breathless and husky tone than she'd meant to use.

"Patience is a virtue, Slayer." he said taking a step backwards leaving a gap where his body had just been.

Buffy hissed inwardly at the loss of his, almost, touch. Fighting the urge to punch the blond vampire in the nose Buffy decided to try again.

"5...4...3...2..."

Spike chuckled. "Idle threats? I'm shakin' Slayer, really, I am."

Spike opened his mouth to continue mocking the petite blond woman in front of him, but decided against it. Instead, he let out a sigh and sat back down on the couch. Suddenly Spike felt very old, which he was, but he'd never felt so…. so helpless, or hopeless.

"Spike? You're scaring me." Buffy said cautiously as she walked over to sit down next to Spike.

"You couldn't possibly be any more scared than I am, pet." he told her. He knew he sounded defeated, as if all the life had gone out of him. When that thought occurred to him he almost laughed. 'What life?'

"Spike? What happened?" Buffy asked when she realized that the vampire wasn't going to start talking anytime soon.

Spike did laugh that time, but it wasn't his usual laugh, it was a very unSpike laugh. It was distant. It sounded as if it was coming from some dead, cold thing, which it was, but it'd never sounded like that before...When was the last time she heard him laugh, really laugh? Not since before…. Oh. Is this what his laughter became since she happened? Before Buffy had a chance to think about that disturbing fact Spike decided there was no time like the present.

"You." he replied simply, although from the look his answer got he was sure Buffy had forgotten the question already.

"What?" Buffy said softly.

"Cor, Slayer, you don't get it, do you?" he asked laughing bitterly, "You happened. You, you, you! It's always been you! You've destroyed me Buffy."

"Why are you saying this?" Buffy asked, tears shining in her eyes.

"Why do you care?" Spike replied harshly, "You destroyed me, Slayer. And because of being how you are you've saving me, so- thank you, but please sod off."

"What!" Buffy yelled, all traces of tears gone.

She stood there looking at Spike as if he'd grown another head. Finally Spike sighed and thought 'Why me?' before standing and walking to the boor of his crypt. And as he was opening the door he thought- 'Oh, yeah. That's right.'

"Sod. Off." he repeated pointing to the open door.

"Fine," Buffy said as she stood up. "But weren't you going to ask me another question?"

"Doesn't matter," Spike assured her, "I know what you would've said anyway. You're too predictable."

"Am not," Buffy argued, "Besides, you can't be 100 sure of what I would've said."

"It's easier this way, Slayer. Please. Don't push me." he pleaded, hoping-praying that she'd drop it.

"Spike. Ask me!" she demanded.

Spike growled and slammed the door which made Buffy jump. He'd had enough of this Slayer. He told her to drop it, but did she? No. Then this is all on her hands. Why couldn't she just let it be? Spike wondered as tears formed in his eyes, 'Because she's Buffy, and that's why you love her.' he thought. 'Well, can't argue with myself, can I?'

"Spike…"

"No!"

A/N: I hoped you guys enjoyed this, as as mentioned above, it was a travail to be sure! I also wanted to say that should anyone of you want to add this to your alerts (please? -pouts-) I would kinda like to send them myself as a more personal note, so if you want me to just leave me a review w/ your email, I will personally email you as soon as my lazy butt uploads a new chapter! I love you guys….you rock!