Author's note: I know. Another random story before I post the chapters I've made everybody wait for. I'm sorry, but the idea popped into my head.

Description: Actions come with consequences. When things went to far, he was expelled. When the pressure became too much he tried to vanish forever.

Warning: Knowing me, the language will get worse. Also, this story doesn't follow the time line or actual events of Harry Potter exactly. And there will be slash in later chapters. RLSB slash.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and I'm not being paid. Sadly.

Key: italics - stressed words or thoughts.

"..." talking.

The Act of Forgiving

Prologue

The beautiful woman blushed madly beneath her veil as her bright green eyes filled with tears. A long white dressed hugged her body in all the right places, bright red hair carefully braided to accentuate her natural beauty. Beside her a messy black haired man beamed, hazel eyes sparkled behind squarish glasses as his breath caught at the sight of the woman he loved. He had cleaned up quite nicely if he did say so himself. And he had, several times as he shared small talk with his two best mates just hours before as they'd helped him pull on the tux. His hands gently took hers as he whispered a repeat of what the priest had said.

"With this ring, I thee wed." he slid the glittering band down her finger and many people burst into tears to match the bride's.

In the last row, a man wiped at his own leaking eyes as he watched the people he used to know interact up front. His memories were crashing around him and even though it hurt, oh bloody Merlin it hurt, he couldn't stop them. He'd never been able to. Not from the first attempt at contact with him after things had all went wrong. Everything had been horrifying and quite traumatic. If it hadn't been for the sympathetic man he could see sitting in the second row in he never would have been able to slide into his new life. The elderly Headmaster had helped him get into a good muggle school, figure out how to take care of himself without magic, got him through countless bouts of depression the initial transfer had brought on, and finally heeded his wishes to stick solely to Christmas cards unless the situation was important.

He owed The silver haired man with his long beard everything. Even being here now. Sitting and watching his former best mate marry the woman he'd pined after for as long he he could remember. His only correspondent from his old life had broken the Christmas card rule to inform him of the wedding and even though it broke his heart to see the light brown and mousy haired men in a place he'd been promised since he'd first met the man with glasses, he was glad he'd come. Even if he didn't deserve to be here at all.

What he'd done... What he'd done to the happy people standing up front was unforgivable. He'd betray them in the worst way possible. Even if they wanted to forgive him, which they simply could not, he knew he could never forgive himself. He'd lowered himself to a standard so low and so despicable... He felt a sharp pain in his lip as he bit through it and quickly brought it into his mouth to suck on while he closed his eyes and concentrated on not making a scene. It worked and he opened his eyes just as the priest spoke the most eagerly anticipated words in the wedding.

"You may now kiss the bride."

As he watched the messy haired man move aside the veil, lips softly pressing against those of his new wife's, he felt his breath catch in his throat and brought a hand across his eyes to wipe away the tears. He couldn't drive back like this. If his vision was blurred by tears he'd wreak and that wouldn't solve anything even if it would get rid of the pain. He was past that stage and had been for a long time now. He slowly stood with the other guests, knowing he couldn't risk staying for the rest of the celebration. He'd just started toward the door when a hand caught his shoulder.

"Not even going to say hi to an old friend?" a soft voice asked. He turned his head and gave the elderly man a watery smile before leaning forward to give him a quick hug.

"Thank you... It means a lot." he didn't have to elaborate. He could tell by the way the light blue eyes twinkled that he understood.

"Are you leaving now?" the old man asked instead, pulling them both out of the way of those that had already congratulated the couple and were heading off to the dinner that was waiting.

"I should get going... I don't want them to know I came..." he whispered, carefully pulling a strand of long black hair out of his face as he wiped at his slightly red eyes once again. The old man frowned slightly and sighed as he pat the younger on the shoulder.

"I can understand your concerns, and I will respect them, but I cannot say that I agree." he said softly and the black haired boy nodded.

"I know you don't. But I have to do what I have to do. I screwed up. I can't take that chance again. It's not fair to any of them. I'm sorry..." on a whim he glanced up toward the front of the room and was unable to stop himself from gasping as his silver eyes locked with the glasses covered hazel. The newlywed man went completely still, causing not only his wife but best men to glance over and see what was going on.

Turning swiftly, the silver eyed man ran blindly through the door, It took all of his self-control to keep going when he heard a chorus of "Sirius!" followed by footsteps and a few undignified snaps from offended guests. Gasping in a quick, useless breath he jumped on to the shiny black motorcycle waiting for him just outside. He was speeding away just as the four clambered outside, a solemn look across Albus Dumbledore's as he followed, smiling sadly down at a frustrated and upset looking James Potter. Lily took his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze before turning to Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew who both looked put out.

"He was here. He was right fucking here..." it was quiet for a long minute before Lily managed to get everyone back inside with the excuse of a happy wedding to finish. And it was a very happy wedding. They all pushed thoughts of their old friend to the back of their minds and had a good time.

Sirius Black had gotten home without incident, luckily enough. Home turned out to be a small apartment complex in a middle class part of town. He'd parked his bike in a provided garage and hurried up to his apartment to take care of his lip. Slipping the key into the door, he pushed it open and walked calmly toward the bathroom. Once he'd finished up, he walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and an assortment of prescribed headache and sleeping pills. He just needed to be numb to the world for a while. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so guilty about running away.

You're afraid.

He sat down heavily at his table as the thought came to mind, knowing he couldn't deny it. I'm completely terrified. He then downed the pills and walked off to his room to collapse fully clothed atop the sheets. Sleep was soon to overtake him.

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