Without A Word

Edward Cullen hates being a vampire. So much that he's willing to end his afterlife early. Ready to die, again, he stops when a beautiful boy with a smart mouth changes his life through an encounter neither of them will ever forget. Rated M due to suicide triggers.

Chapter 1- Attempts

"Surely, you can't be the reason I keep on living?"

If there is one thing that I truly hate, it is being a vampire.

A soulless monster, created to purge humanity of its population merely so that people like me could survive. Elusive, enticing predators that shaped their personalities and appearances during the transition just so people would be drawn in. All so their blood could be taken from them.

This is the prime reason why I have never taken much comfort in the idea of religion. Why would an omnipresent deity do such a heinous thing to mankind? To challenge them? I don't really think that was the goal of humanity, honestly.

I know that Carlisle, my father for all intents and purposes, changed me because he truly had no other alternative in his quest to keep me alive. In some ways, I know that his intentions were mildly selfish; so that he would not be lonely anymore and that company would be eternal.

But now Carlisle has a larger family than he anticipated. There's Esme, his loving wife. She was committing suicide after losing her only child. Died at childbirth, or so they said. Esme confesses to this day that she doesn't believe them. Even still, her transformation was the best thing that's ever happened to Carlisle and to her. Now she has a bigger family to care for, all that had ever wanted in her human life. There's Alice, who doesn't remember too much about her human life. It's ironic because she can see glimpses of the future. Maybe the relinquishing of her past memories was recompense for such an extraordinary gift. There's her husband, Jasper, who was a military soldier who helped to build an army of newborn vampires with his sire, Maria. The origins of his pathokinetic abilities are still somewhat of a mystery to me, though. There's Rosalie, who was beaten and raped in the street by her drunken husband and his friends, being left to die in the middle of the night. Rosalie's story is one that genuinely fills me with rage. Lastly, there's Emmett who got into a fight with a particularly aggressive black bear that mauled him completely. Rosalie saved him and Carlisle turned him. Emmett is probably the person that I'm closest to out of all of my adoptive family.

He's also the person I'm going to miss the most.

Before becoming a vampire, I had always been intrigued by the idea of suicide.

Not in a sense that I had considered it, but more that I had thought in depth about why people would do it. I had understood the feeling of having nothing or feeling alone. I still don't. Mine is for a different reason. I simply don't want to be this monster anymore. I don't want to look in the mirror and see somebody who is constructed to kill. Built solely for the purpose of destroying a life.

So, instead, I'm going to destroy my own.

I approach the bridge, overlooking the rocky sea, and think for the one last time about everything I'm leaving behind. They have each other. They have their soulmates. I do not. I won't be missed.

"Excuse me," a voice behind me mutters. It's quite high, but clear as a bell. It's a sound that I wouldn't mind hearing again. It quickly gets under my skin and lights my veins on fire. It infects my mind and makes me slightly question what it is that I am about to do.

I turn around, putting a face that the intoxicating voice I just heard.

And what a beautiful face it is. His skin is pale, like delicate porcelain and his facial features are completely proportional. His eyes are an intriguing colour that I cannot quite put a name to. It's a magnificent combination of colours that should never work, but they do. Really, really well.

"Hello," I say. That's the only thing that I can think to say. The lack of emotion is clear on my face.

"You're using my bridge," he comments dryly and I have to blink twice to make sure he's being serious.

"I'm…what?"

"You're using my bridge. I've had this planned for a while now."

"You're jumping?" I ask.

"Are you?"

"You're deflecting."

"So are you."

"Okay, this could go on all night. Yes, I'm going to jump off this bridge in order to not be here anymore."

"Me too," he replies, his previously enforced swagger lost in the feebleness of his declarative.

"I'm Edward Cullen, by the way. Considering that we are discussing our suicides with each other, I find it imperative that we learn each other's names."

"Kurt Hummel."

"Well, Kurt, we seem to have interfered with each other's plans."

"It seems that way," Kurt smiles.

"Are you still going to jump?" I need to know. Suddenly, I find myself wanting to know everything about this mysterious Kurt Hummel.

"Are you?"

"You really need to stop doing that. I don't know. It used to seem like such an easy thing to do. Walk up to the bridge and just…let myself fall. And that would be it. Now, it doesn't seem as appealing."

Kurt nods shortly. "I understand. You being here has made me not want to do it. I wasn't expecting an audience."

"Me neither. We could do it together."

"A suicide pact? Really?" He raises an eyebrow and that is now officially the most attractive thing I've ever seen. Kurt has a backbone.

"Not a pact. Just some moral support," I joke, chuckling slightly.

"Why are you here?"

It's a simple question, yet there are so many different answers that I could give.

I'm alone.

There's nothing left to live for.

I'm misunderstood.

I hate myself.

All true. Maybe apart from the second one. If I died, I would be leaving behind a beautiful boy with eyes that gleam even in the darkest of nights.

"I don't want to live anymore," is my answer.

"Well done, you understand the science of suicide. Now give me an actual reason."

"I literally just met you. Why should I open up to you?"

Kurt smirked. "I'm curious."

I know in this moment that there is nothing that I wouldn't tell this boy. And for the first time, I get a glimpse of his thoughts, that were previously blocked off to me.

I wonder why he's here. Surely he has the perfect life. He's too beautiful to be bullied. Maybe it's a family thing? Or a death or something?

"You are already aware of the answer, Kurt."

What? I hear him think.

I smile. "You already know."

"How do you know that I know?"

"Intuition, you could say."

His smile reminds of why I had doubts about this whole thing. One simple movement of facial muscles and I'm reconsidering. One movement and my world is spinning faster than when I was bitten. But why?

"What are you, a supercomputer?"

I shake my head. "I just have a really good grasp of people."

Kurt looks at me once more, as though appraising me. Seriously, this guy is an enigma. Probably the most beautiful person alive, yet suicidal and slightly weird? He clearly didn't grow up in Lima. His ego isn't nearly as big.

I frown and then smile as I throw all caution directly into the wind. "My ego is definitely smaller than you would think. But thank you for the very nice compliment."

His face is a sight to behold. His mouth falls into a perfect 'O' shape as he comprehends what I've just done.

"You're a telepath," Kurt murmurs. Wait what? He guesses correctly the first time? Nobody has ever…unless he's already aware of vampires or superhuman abilities or something.

"You sound surprisingly calm about this."

He shifts slightly. "Yeah well, when you plan your death, everything else seems a little menial in comparison. I've sort of become emotionless in some ways. In regards to surprise, pain and sorrow, I'm almost hollow. I still feel happier things, though. When I'm happy, I'm elated. When I love, I'm consumed. That's just me."

I'm shocked that he revealed so much of himself so quickly and I'm starting to get a grasp of who he is without even probing his mind further.

"How do you feel about my abilities? Are you perturbed? Would you like me to stop?"

Kurt shakes his head. "Strangely enough, no. Normally, it would be a gross invasion of my privacy, but I have no secrets. I have nothing to hide. I have nothing anymore."

"You have me." I don't know where it comes from, but it's spoken all the same. It's true. He does have me. In a deeper way than he probably thinks. I can always just check…

I don't know how to react. Nobody has ever been in my corner after such a short time, before. This is a new experience. I can't deny that I'm insanely attracted to Edward, but it's strange that…oh, and he's probably listening. Okay, now you can get out of my head.

"Apologies. It's second nature to read somebody's thoughts once I meet them. I wish I could say that I can tune it out, but it's difficult."

Kurt's face is stoic. "What about in crowded places?"

"It's the worst. I feel surrounded by trivial thoughts and feelings and I can't turn it off. It's one of the reasons I'm here tonight, actually. My telepathy is a gift, becomes it quickly becomes a burden. I have eidetic memory, too, so I remember everybody's thoughts forever. When you're confronted with people's true opinions of you, it becomes harder to ignore how you feel about yourself."

"That must be awful for you."

I think for a moment, before positing my question. "Are you still going to jump?"

Hr shrugs and I call that progress. My desire to prevent this boy from ending his life is only partially irrational and I'll do whatever it takes to prolong his life.

Except that.

"I'm not sure. I mean, I've thought about nothing else for two weeks. I've barely left my room. But now…I'm not so sure that I have the motives anymore."

Now I'm genuinely confused. Rather than reading his thoughts, I ask. "What does that mean?"

"Everything now is so fucked up that I don't know where to go. If I jump, I would have somewhere to go. If I don't jump, I truly have nowhere else to go."

At my questioning glance, he continues.

"I'm an orphan. My father died a month ago. He's the main reason I'm here. He was my world and I don't say that lightly. I don't have any friends or relatives who wish to speak to me. I'm well and truly alone. Before you say it, I have you, I know. It's not much, but it's something at least."

"Oh, well thanks very much."

"Not like that. I just met you tonight. Surely you can't be the reason I keep living?"

I think about that but eventually shake my head. "You're mine."

It's simple, but I can tell that it means a lot to him. That's he is valued. I can't understand who wouldn't value someone who is so special.

"Seriously? I'm the tether that is holding you to the Earth?"

"No, I believe that that is gravity."

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

I nod, understanding. "Yes, you are. Okay, this is going to sound stranger than my telepathy, but I feel like I'm connected to you in a way that I never expected to be connected to someone. I know you feel it, too. You thought about it a few minutes ago."

"You know, I'm starting to rethink this "All-Access Ticket To Kurt Hummel's Mind' thing. But yes, I feel something innate about you. Like we were supposed to meet here at this bridge to stop each other from dying. Do you believe in kismet?"

I nod slightly. "Perhaps more deeply than I should."

He smiles in kind and then sighs. "I've never really felt like I have a place to belong. Even when I was smaller with both of my parents alive, I still felt dejected from life. It's ironic that when I come to die, I find everything that I was looking for so that I could live. I'm sorry, I've said too much."

"You've said just enough. I've been searching aimlessly in life for something to grab onto and hold so that I feel grounded but nothing ever came. Why is it that a single conversation with you gives me more than I ever knew I could have? I've decided. I'm not going to die tonight."

Kurt smiles up at me, raising his head. "I'm not, either. I still don't know what I am going to do, though. I'm still lost."

I stretch out my hand and he immediately place his in its rightful position. "Well, I've found you. You're going to come and live with me."

"I…what?" Is Edward actually serious? Could I just drop everything and go and live with him? I find two problems with this. One, I don't actually have anything to drop so I don't have anything to bring. Two, I would hate to impose.

"You would not be imposing. My family and I would be happy to have you. Though it does involve me explaining something to you that is very loaded."

"You're a serial killer who is dying to save from being caught?"

He doesn't know how close he is to the truth. "Not quite. I think you should sit down. No, not on the bridge. You might fall off," I grin.

He perches on the floor and I join him, sitting opposite. "I think that it's only right that I tell you. I have two parents and four siblings. A rather big family, yes?"

Kurt looks downcast but I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to rub it in. But we have a secret."

"You're a band of travelling gypsy psychics?"

"Not exactly. We are…vampires."

Bullshit, Kurt thinks immediately.

"I assure you that it is not. I can demonstrate for you, if you would like. Vampires have enhanced strength, speed and senses. Some, like me and two of my siblings, have special abilities. How about we have a running race?"

Kurt smirks. "I'm pretty quick on my feet."

"I can assure you that I am quicker. Start from here and make your way that that streetlight and back."

"Okay. Three…two…one…go!"

I zip across, swing around the streetlight and finish back where we started before Kurt even reaches the light. He stares back, bemusedly.

"Show me something else."

"Okay. Trust me, though." I wrap a strong arm around his waist and leap up into the nearest three, navigating the branches until we are standing at the very top, overlooking the city.

"This is insane! I definitely believe you. Don't you kill humans like me, though?"

"You don't seem scared."

"Fear is one of my lost emotions. And if you wanted to kill me, that would only serve my current agenda, right? So it's a win-win for me."

"Enlighten me."

"Well, I get to spend time with you while living or die, something that I've wanted for a while."

"So you'll do it? You'll come and live with me?"

Kurt thinks long and hard about it. "Yes. I'll do it. I'll come and live with you."