Disclaimer: I don't own anything… and thank you immensely for that depressing reminder.
Oh no, I see,
A spider web is tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said,
Oh no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,
I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.
Oh no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in my little bubble,
Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me.
Trouble, Coldplay
She left. He couldn't believe it. It had been eight months and not a call, SMS, email or even a letter in the mail. Not that the postal system was reliable in a post-apocalyptic world but that wasn't the point. Eight fucking months and absolutely nothing. He didn't know if she were dead or alive, if she had been captured by White, if she was even in the same damn country and that wasn't even the worst part, because the worst part of it was that he cared at all and he could thank her for that.
That bitch! That self righteous, hypocritical little bitch!
He remembered her spiel from the day they saved those X6's out in the run down barn… 'Never abandon your unit' she had said in her usual high-and-mighty, 'god Alec you're such a screw up, I know everything so do what I say' tone. Oh, but that's right, he almost forgot, HE wasn't part of HER unit. His chest constricted a little at that thought, thinking back to the time when she had coerced him into helping her find her 'brother'. She had made sure to let him know where he stood then.
But he thought things had changed… he had changed and in some ways, her attitude toward him had a little too. After she told him about Ben they had spent the whole night talking. She had asked him about Rachael and for the first time in his life he actually let himself open up to someone a little. He told her things he couldn't have told anyone else, not ever, and she had been there, saying all the right things and looking at him in a way he had only ever seen her direct at one other person.
He fell in love with her in that moment, right then and there on that ratty couch at half past dead in the morning sipping on that goat's piss that passed itself off as coffee in the hopes that it would help him stay up with her all night so that he didn't miss a second with her. He cursed her shark DNA all night and thanked the scientists at Manticore at the same time for putting it in her cocktail as it gave him that extra time to be with her before they had to go back to the reality of their lives. He had lain awake for many nights after hoping for more nights just like that one. He wanted her to look at him like she had that night again and he tried so hard to be who she wanted but nothing was ever good enough for her. He would never be good enough. He realised that now.
For the first few days he expected to see her waltz into Jam Pony after a little road trip. OC had been insistent that her Boo just needed some solo time to figure things out but after a couple weeks he could see the uncertainty start to show in her eyes whenever someone asked her about Max even while her voice held the same conviction as before. After a couple of months she began to voice her uncertainty and now… now she simply said nothing at all. It unnerved him to no end that she was giving up on Max while he had been hanging on to the last tendril of hope left that Max would come waltzing back into their lives with a flip of her hair and a smart remark about how stupid everyone was for worrying about her.
He let out an audible sigh as his eyes wandered to the city lights below and then beyond to the horizon. He had been restless all night long and after trying to amuse himself first at Crash and then in the company of one of Jam Pony's new lady recruits, a blonde named Kristen (or was it Kirsten?), he found himself gravitating toward the Space Needle unconsciously after deciding to take a ride on his Duke motorcycle. Now, standing up here in her place, he realised with a heavy heart that she was most likely gone for good. It had just been too long.
He had confronted Logan a few days after she left about her whereabouts but the older man had just looked at him with first a curious if not slightly confused stare but after a short round of questioning his gaze had become more scrutinizing. Feeling like he was back in Psy Ops under the inspection of one of Manticore's freak doctors, Alec responded in the only way Alec knew how.
"Geez Logan, I know I'm easy on the eyes but you should know by now that I don't swing that way. Not to say I'm not flattered, cos I am, but you're really not my type."
"Well, excuse me, but I would've thought you of all people would know where she had gone." Alec just gave him a confused look. Both men remained silent and Logan's gaze never wavered until it seemed as though a light bulb had literally been switched on inside his head. "She lied." He breathed out in wonderment.
"Huh?" Was Alec's eloquent response.
"When she told me that you and her were together, she lied."
"She told you WHAT?" Alec's voice snapped and Logan winced. Breathing slowly to compose himself, Alec tried to remind himself that Max wouldn't do anything unless she had a really good reason, and she really needed a good reason for this, and even as his mind tried to come up with a reason good enough to drag him, yet again, into the middle of their whacked out not-really-like-that relationship he realised that it didn't matter cos she wasn't here. She had done the typical Max thing, she had gotten herself into a mess she didn't know how to get herself out of so she had run. It was that plain and simple.
And it wasn't that surprising now that he thought about it. It must be imbedded in her DNA along with sadism and a bad attitude.
"She wanted to push me away cos she was afraid of hurting me again so she did the only thing she knew would get me to back off, she told me she was with another guy. It all makes sense now." Logan said more to himself than Alec.
"Well, I'm glad it makes sense to one of us." Alec replied with a wry grin.
"I mean, come on! You and her? I can't believe I fell for it!" Logan laughed.
"Hey!" Alec protested, slightly miffed. "I'm standing right here, and what the hell makes you think her and I could never happen? I'll have you know, I'm quite the catch. And at least she wouldn't have to worry about me keelin' over if she accidentally brushed into me."
"Oh please, Max would kick your ass from here to next week before she 'accidentally' brushed into anything attached to any part of you." Logan replied less friendly and a little more defensive than a few moments before… and sounding a little too Max-like for his liking. Maybe some time spent apart for them would be a good thing after all.
"Then why were you so quick to believe it was true?" Alec didn't know why he was pushing this. He should be relieved that the other man knew the truth, that he was no longer in the middle of this twisted triangle but something in the way Logan had shrugged off Alec as being nothing but merely a convenient excuse had irked him to no end. Call it male pride or an inbred streak of Manticorian competitiveness, Alec wanted Logan to sweat a little. The truth of the matter was, even with the way Alec felt about Max, he had never really taken a shot at her, content in being nothing more than her friend… for now anyway.
He had been called a lot of things in his life, many unpleasant and mostly by Max, but a home wrecker wasn't one of them. He just couldn't steal another guys girl and Max was definitely another guys' girl… for now anyway. He truly did believe that her and Logan would never work out for many reasons, DNA issues aside. It was a shame they couldn't see things for what they were. It would certainly save them both all the melodrama and angst.
"I didn't." Logan protested a little too quickly. "I mean, I did… it's just… I saw you leaving her apartment that morning and I got… I guess I… … I was jealous, ok?! She wouldn't speak to me for days and then I saw the two of you together, laughing and hugging." He bit off the last part with a contemptuous look in Alec's direction. After a moment though, it softened before being directed inwards and transforming into self guilt.
Which is when Alec felt like a real asshole. Again.
"Look man, nothing happened. Truth is, she's more like my sister than anything else." Alec lied easily, attempting to smooth things over with the other man. Differences aside, he did like Logan and the last thing he wanted was awkwardness or animosity between the two of them.
Logan scrutinized him again before nodding his head slightly, recognizing the lie for what it was but not ready to delve into the topic any deeper than they already had. "If I find out anything, if she calls or anything, I'll let you know." He said and turned back to his keyboard, dismissing the handsome young transgenic.
Alec simply nodded his head and left.
Logan had kept to his word, keeping him updated on any leads he thought may be useful but the trails always went cold before they had a chance to act on them. Max had spent ten years of her life staying under Manticore's radar, hiding and escaping their clutches many times over and unless she wanted to be found, Alec knew she would continue to elude them.
His earlier anger faded, as it always did after a decent amount of time spent deep in contemplation. Alec understood now the appeal of her 'High Place', how it helped to just stand there on top of the world and reflect. Of course, the other reason was that up here, he always felt that little bit closer to her… wherever that was.