AN: Just a little one shot that's been annoying me for a while. I don't own anything related to CSI. R&R!
Clueless
Nick glanced at the woman next to him in the car for the fifteenth time since they left the crime scene. And for the fifteenth time, he frowned. She was staring out the passenger side window, and Nick was pretty sure she wasn't watching the scenery, seeing as they were passing one of Vegas' more rundown neighborhoods.
Turning his attention back to the road, Nick wondered what was going through the brunette's brain. She had been distant the entire day, or at least the five hours they had spent processing the crime scene they had been called to. He didn't think it had anything to do with the case; it had been a 'usual' armed robbery with a fatal outcome – for the robber. The store owner had been robbed before, and kept a gun behind the counter. When the robber had demanded the money from the cash register, the owner had gotten the gun out and shot the guy in the leg, unfortunately hitting a major artery, which caused the perp to bleed to death before the ambulance could get there. The background check on the robber told them that it wasn't his first visit on the wrong side of the law. He had two convictions of armed robbery behind him, and had been the suspect in three more cases where there had been casualties. It seemed that one less criminal would be walking the streets of Las Vegas from now on. That didn't mean they didn't have to process the scene, though, and the store owner would probably face at least man slaughter charges.
No, there was something else. Deciding to at least offer her someone to talk to, Nick spoke.
"Sara?" She didn't react. "Sara?" He repeated, a little louder this time.
"Huh? What?" Sara turned her attention to him.
"Is everything OK? Do you want to talk about something?" He asked, giving her a comforting smile.
"I'm fine." She replied. "Just have a lot on my mind." She returned her eyes to the passing scenery.
"Anything I can help with?"
"Actually, could we stop by a pharmacy on the way back? I need to pick up a few things." Sara said.
"Coming down with that cold that's going around the lab, huh?" Nich wondered.
"Yeah."
xxxxx
Sara stared at the closed door a few feet down the corridor, willing herself to move. But her legs didn't seem to be co-operating, because she stayed right where she was.
She knew that it wasn't the time or the place to tell him, but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else until she had. Taking one final, deep breath she managed to make her way down the corridor and, before she had a chance to change her mind, knocked on the door.
"Yes?" She heard Grissom's voice from inside the office, and she slowly opened the door. He looked up when she entered the room and frowned at the serious look on her face. "Is everything OK?"
"Yes... and no." She closed the door behind her before sitting down in the chair opposite his.
"I'm not sure I follow you." He said, putting the file he had been looking at away.
"I don't really know how to do this, so..." She got the test from her pocket and placed it on the desk between them.
"This is a pregnancy test." He stated, as if it wasn't obvious.
"I did know that, yes." She couldn't help but sound a little sarcastic.
"Is it...?" He didn't finish the sentence.
"It's positive." She confirmed.
"That means you're..."
"I'm pregnant." She waited for him to say something, anything. Instead he leaned back in the chair and stared at the test between them. "Are you going to say something?" He looked up at her.
"Sorry, I just... I've never pictured myself as a very fatherly type." He explained, causing Sara to chuckle a little.
"I'm not exactly what you would call a soccer mom, either." She joked. He looked at her for a moment before he spoke again.
"Then maybe we shouldn't be doing this?"
She stared at him, hoping against hope that he hadn't said what she thought he had. She could feel tears rising in her eyes, but she refused to let him see them. Standing up abruptly, she grabbed the test before rushing out of the office, hardly noticing that she almost knocked Catherine over on her way.
"What was that about?" Catherine wondered, looking over her shoulder as Sara rounded the corner and disappeared from view.
"It's... complicated." Grissom replied, sighing deeply. "Did you want something?"
"I've got the results of the DNA from the Haversmith case." She replied, dropping a folder on the desk. "But that can wait five minutes. What did you do now?" She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him expectedly.
"It's not something that I want to discuss right now." Grissom replied, hoping that Catherine would go away. He needed to think.
"When are you going to drop the act?" She wondered, closing the door behind her before continuing. "I already know that the two of you have finally managed to get it together."
"You do?"
"Of course, I'm a woman." Catherine sat down in the chair that Sara had just vacated. "So, what is it this time?"
"She's pregnant." He revealed.
"Oh." Was all Catherine could say. She hadn't been expecting that. "Did she just tell you?"
"Yes."
"Whoa." Catherine stated.
"That would be one way of putting it." Grissom agreed.
"And how exactly did you put it?" Catherine wondered, sensing that there was more to the story.
"I simply said that I had never pictured myself as a dad." He replied.
"Well, who has?" Catherine shrugged. "Did she get upset over that?"
"No, she said that she wasn't exactly a soccer mom herself." Grissom continued. "And then I..."
"You didn't!" Catherine exclaimed, knowing where he was going.
"I said that maybe we shouldn't do it." He completed, and Catherine sighed deeply. No wonder Sara had stormed out of there.
"Oh, Gil." She shook her head. "Why would you say that?"
"It was the first thing that came to mind." He defended himself.
"So what you're saying is that you don't want the baby?" Catherine wondered.
"No! Of course I want it! I was just surprised and I said the first thing I thought of." He tried to explain.
"Look, Gil, I know all about unplanned pregnancies." Catherine started. "Hell, the first thing I thought when I found out about Lindsey was 'Crap, what the hell am I going to do?'. Everyone reacts that way at first, I'm sure even Sara did. But you can not tell her that. She's probably very emotional right now, and she's going to think that you don't want this, her or the baby."
"God, I really screwed up." He leaned his elbows against the desk and buried his face in his hands. "I have to talk to her, explain."
"Oh, no you don't." Catherine replied. "You have done enough damage for one night. I am going to go and talk to her, and then I'm taking her home, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to be anywhere near you right now."
xxxxx
Sara didn't look up as the door to the locker room opened and closed. Instead, she moved further into the corner she was sitting in and pulled her knees closer to her chest.
"Hey." She heard Catherine's voice.
"Hey." She managed to reply hoarsly.
"You OK?" Catherine handed her a paper tissue, and Sara took it, wiping away a few tears from her face.
"Not really."
"Yeah, I figured as much." Catherine sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall next to Sara. "He's sorry. He knows that he shouldn't have said that."
"Doesn't make it any less true." Sara replied, not even questioning the fact that Grissom had told Catherine.
"What was the first thing that came to mind when you realized that the pregnancy test was positive?" Catherine asked, and for the first time, Sara looked up at her.
"Why?" She wondered, frowning.
"Just humor me." Catherine replied.
"This is going to ruin everything. That was the first thing that came to mind." Sara buried her face in her hands. "I'm a horrible person."
"No, you're not." Catherine put an arm around Sara's shoulders. "You thought that for, what? A split second? It's natural, and nothing to be ashamed of. The only difference is that Gil said exactly what he was thinking for that split second. He shouldn't have, but that's just the way he is. He speaks without thinking, sometimes." Sara chuckled a little at that. "In fact, he's in his office right now trying to figure out how to make you believe that he really wants to do this."
"Really?" Sara looked up at Catherine, hope evident in her eyes.
"Really. I even had to stop him from coming after you." Catherine told her. "I figured you'd want some time to yourself before dealing with him again."
"Thanks."
"He really loves you, you know?" Catherine stated. "It's so obvious, I'm surprised you've managed to keep this a secret for so long."
"How come he decided to tell you now?" Sara wondered.
"Oh, he didn't, I already knew." Catherine revealed.
"Damn, I thought we were being careful." Sara said.
"Obviosuly not, in several areas." Catherine joked, and Sara smiled a little. "No, seriously, the guys don't have a clue. Call it female intuition."
"How long have you known?" Sara asked.
"A couple of months, I guess." Catherine replied. "How long has it been going on?"
"A little over a year." Sara told her.
"When Brass got shot in that hostage situation?" Catherine wondered.
"No, before that, actually. You remember the case with the dead guy in the casino parking lot?"
"We've had a few dead guys in parking lots, you're gonna have to be a little more specific." Catherine chuckled.
"The case with the company that made dreams come true."
xxxxx
"I thought I was the only one left." Sara looked up at Grissom's words and found him standing in the doorway to the lab.
"Just finishing up, I'll be out of here in a moment." She turned her attention back to the file she was working on, expecting him to leave. Instead, he came into the lab and leaned against the wall a few feet from where she was sitting.
"If you could have all your dreams come true in one day, what would it be?" He asked her after a moment.
"Why are you asking?" She looked up at him and frowned.
"I was just thinking about how there's an endless market for companies like Caprice. People will always have dreams and fantasies." He explained.
"Even you?" Sara raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner.
"Even me." He confirmed.
"What would your day be like?" She asked, but he only shook his head.
"I asked you first."
"Well..." She thought for a moment about telling him exactly what would be included in her 'perfect day' scenario, but decided against it. Things had been good lately, she didn't want to jinx their friendship. "I think I would like to spend it at the beach, I've always loved the ocean. I've kinda missed it since I mover here."
"I didn't know that." He noted.
"There's a lot you don't know about me." She met his eyes for a moment before looking away. "I wouldn't want anything special, really, just to be able to spend a day with the people I care about, away from all this... death." She sighed and flipped the case file closed and looked up at him. "Your turn."
He didn't speak for a moment, but didn't break eye contact.
"My deepest fantasy, everything I could ever want... just you."
xxxxx
"He said that? Grissom? Our Grissom?" Catherine was surprised... no, she was shocked.
"I had a hard time believing it, too." Sara replied, smiling a little at the memory.
"Did he say what had brought on his sudden change of heart?" Catherine wondered.
"No." Sara shook her head. "I haven't been able to get it out of him."
"Wow." Catherine was silent for a moment. "Well, as pleasant as this little walk down your memory lane has been, we can't stay here forever." She stood up and offered Sara her hand, pulling her up from the floor.
"You don't think by any chance that they won't miss us if we don't go back out there?" Sara half-seriously suggested. "All this crying kinda wiped me out."
"Don't worry, I'm taking you home." Catherine told her. "I think both of you need a little time to think before discussing this again."
"Thanks, Cath. I really appreciate it."
xxxxx
He was going crazy. Ever since he had talked to Catherine, all kinds of different scenarios had gone through his mind, and none of them very good. He was afraid that he really had screwed up, for good this time. All he wanted to do was go home and try to make things better.
Grissom sighed as he looked at his watch for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. Still half an hour til the end of the shift.
"Damn it!" He slammed the file he'd been working on down on the desk, he hadn't been able to focus on it anyway.
"Aren't we sunny?" Catherine's cheery voice came from the doorway.
"What?" He grumbled.
"Whoa, don't take it out on me." Catherine raised her hands in front of her. "I'm only trying to help."
"I know." Grissom sighed. "Sorry."
"Apology accepted." She walked into the room and stopped in front of him. "You look like shit."
"Thank you for that kind compliment." He replied sarcastically.
"Seriously. How much have you gotten done since I left?"
"Pretty much nothing." Grissom stated.
"Go home." Catherine told him. "Talk to her, make up, and try not to screw it up again, OK?"
"You were the one who told me that I couldn't talk to her." Grissom said, slightly confused.
"That was hours ago." Catherine waved it off. "I think you've both had enough time to think things over now."
"You'll cover things here?" He was already up and halfway to the door.
"I've got it under control." Catherine assured him. "You go grovel."
"Thanks."
xxxxx
The apartment was quiet when he carefully closed the front door behind him, having used his own key. Assuming she would be in bed, he made his way to the bedroom.
She was asleep, curled up on her side facing away from the door, knees pulled up to her chest. As he watched her, she turned, stretching out on her back, but she didn't wake up.
Quietly, he removed his clothes and slipped into the bed. He layed next to her, as close as he could get without actually touching her, and watched her sleep. Traces of tears were still visible on her cheeks, and he hated himself for being the reason for them.
He brushed a strand of hair from her face, and even in her sleep she reacted to his touch, leaning into it. He placed a light kiss on her forhead before going back to watching her sleep, letting his mind wander.
They hadn't planned this, hell, they hadn't even talked about it. But now that it was actually happening, he realized that he did want it. He wanted the whole package, wife, kids, maybe a dog.
He had given up on the thought of children a long time ago. It wasn't because he didn't want them, he just figured it wasn't in the cards for him. And when he had finally gotten the courage to tell Sara how he felt, he hadn't dared hope.
His eyes left her face and traveled down to her still flat stomach. It was really mind blowing to know that there was a child in there. Their child. He gently placed a hand on her lower abdomen, and tried to picture what it would feel like, in a couple of months, to feel his own child move inside Sara's body.
He didn't realize she was awake until her hand covered his own. He looked up at her, and found a small smile on her lips.
"I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry." He pulled her close, burying his face against her neck.
"I love you." She mumbled, wrapping an arm around him.
"Love you more."
xxxxx
Catherine entered the locker room at the end of the shift and went over to her locker. Warrick and Nick came in a moment later, talking about their cases.
"I had to do the report by myself, Sara's been MIA since we got back from the scene." Nick complained, opening his locker.
"I took her home earlier, she wasn't feeling good." Catherine told him.
"Oh." He looked a little guilty at going off on his partner. "Yeah, we stopped at a pharmacy before, she's coming down with a cold or something."
Catherine smiled to herself. They really could be clueless.
"Hey, has anyone seen Grissom?" Greg asked coming into the locker room. "He's not in his office."
"He went home about half an hour ago." Catherine said, causing the others to stare at her.
"He left early?" Warrick looked like someone had just told him that pigs could fly.
"Are we talking about the same person?" Greg wondered.
"Just telling you what I know." Catherine said, closing her locker.
"That must be a first, Grissom leavin before shift is over." Nick noted, and Catherine chuckled to herself as she left the locker room. Men!