A Fair Competition
The Goblet of Fire crackled and spat out a slip of paper. "From Durmstrang, Victor Krum!" Dumbledore announced. The Quidditch star loped up to the dais to the applause of many. After a moment, another bit of parchment spewed forth from the Goblet. "From Hogwarts, Cedric Diggory!" Diggory had some trouble rising with all the hand-shaking, back-slapping, and general well-wishing from all of Hufflepuff, but he eventually joined Krum in time for Dumbledore to continue, "From Beaubatons, Fleur Delacoeur!" The French witch strode up in determination, Veela charm at full ebb. "I'd like to congratulate our three champ–"
The Goblet of Fire interrupted by emitting a fourth paper. "Harry Potter," Dumbledore read out uncertainly.
"Wait," Harry interrupted, causing Ludo Bagman to glare at him. "You mean I have to compete, no way around it? What's the exact wording? What precisely have I gotten into – ignoring how ludicrous it is to have a magically binding oath based on something someone else wrote, how does that work anyway, it's not like magic itself maintains a directory of all people by name and then what would happen if two people had the same name –"
"Get to the point, Mr Potter," Snape growled.
"Right, yes, well. From the Goblet's perspective, what do I have to do?" In a few minutes they'd worked it out. There would be a series of three events over the course of the year. The Goblet could be set up to handle up to twelve, but three was the minimum. "No point filling our schedules," Harry said sarcastically when he heard that. "I mean, it's only brought two hundred students halfway across Europe for three hours of competition. No need to get our money's worth." They could take place at any time throughout the year. Judges had to toss a hair into the Goblet, and then they could use a specialized spell to submit votes. The judges were selected before each event. There were no limitations on when the events were scheduled.
At the end, Snape drawled, "Are you quite finished wasting everyone's time, Mr Potter?"
"Not quite," Harry said with an impudent grin. "I propose we hold the first Tri-Wizard Exploding Snap Tournament."
Thirty minutes later, Harry Potter was crowned three hundred twelfth Tri-Wizard Champion and the three hundred thirteenth Tri-Wizard Tournament began immediately afterward. The only three entrants happened to be the second, third, and fourth place participants in the previous tournament.
That night, a Polyjuiced Barty Crouch sneaked into the Gryffindor tower, stunned Harry in his sleep, and hauled him off to Lord Voldemort, swearing to himself about how all the grand plans never worked and how he would never get his evil villain professional certificate at this rate. Potter was never seen nor heard from again.